Tuesday, March 1, 2005

   Oh laughter of joy and sighs of happy sorrow...
Whew, just got done finishing that rather big post down there *points downward and smiles a big cheesy smile* Life is great. Yesterday he came over and spent a few hours together, ebolishing the small fear that maybe that night was a one time thing. No... teehee! *giggles like a japanese school girl* but I'll spare you some more sappy details for another day....
*hums to herself some romantic song from Maroon 5*...

Today what I want to know is about your most heart stopping expereince. Im in such a listening mood now (but always, always in the mood to hear you all out! You guys are a hoot!) So tell me your thoughts, be them romantic or life threatning... ha. ^_^

Holy crap! Prom is in four days!!!! *looks over to Reincarnated* holy crap! I cant even stand it. Damn prom. So fun, but...so...nasty, time consuming, and invoking of, er, insanity! Gaah!!

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Sunday, February 27, 2005

   ......There Are No Words.
Last night was somewhere between the best night Ive had and the scariest of my life. For the first time in my (albet, sheltered...) life that I snuck out of my house in the middle of the night. I went out in my pajamas and a sweater and flip-flops down my very creaky stairs...then had to go back up to shut my door...then down again. Take ten minutes to yank open the frozen door downstairs to the backyard...then carefully creep my way across the yard and over the gate behind the garage. I tried to open the gate to the ten foot fence around the alley but it was no use. So, desperetly, I climbed over it (and its one freaking inch width! God almighty! try balancing on that kind of crap! >.<) and ran like hell to the end of the street to my getaway car...
This is a strange story. This was all orginized by the one I have been talking a lot about recently...the guy I am madly in love with. (*gulp*). He called me in the evening to tell me he was going to kidnap me! Lol, of course, it couldnt really be called a kidnapping since we were both collaborating on it. But, so it became: Ixion was kidnapped in the middle of the night.
After some roaming around for about an hour or so, we went to Lovers Leap, this place in my small little town past a gas station that winds up this god-forsaken road to this cliffy thing that overlooks the entire town....
So its there, on this cliff named for innuendo of lovers going suicide that I...um, er,...*sighs deeply* have the most romantic night of my life yet. (*faints*) Haha. It was so bizarr, but so...magical! He took me in his arms where I lay for the whole night, and we talk about some of our past relationship disasters, and anything that came to our minds. (The middle of the night will do that to do o_@). I could hardly beleive it. Its one of the things I treasure about him: the fact that he will say anything thats on his mind, good or bad, and that because of it I feel so open with him about anything and everything.
Sometime around 4 in the morning is where this story gets...outragious! (But I trust my Otaku's. ^_^ just sshhh!). Im cuddled in his arms, looking out at the moon and over the town when I look back at him and he's gazing at me, and I gaze back at him. He smiles at me. "Im so afraid to kiss you." my stomach is turning becouse Im so scared and happy, (and its not very attractive to throw up on people! LOL.). And I manage a warm smile back, and tell him its ok...and we laugh and he hugs me to him tightly, rocking back and forth, and it just...happened.
This was the most magical thing I have ever felt. Were were in that car until 5:30 am, overlooking the town in eachothers arms, laughing at eachother and joking, and somehow at the same time kissing and being totally entwined in eachothers arms. I never thought I'd be so lucky. Never ever...
Im in love.

When I couldnt be out any longer for fear my family would wake and find me gone and muderer me and mail the body parts to him, I finally had to sneak back home. Before we left he gave me a goodbye kiss that literally had me shiver from head to foot. (Aaah!) and then I started blabering about how the fence was going to kill me when I had to climb it again and--he took my chin and made me look at him and smiled, putting a finger on my lips and kissing me again. "You talk too much."
...So I went back to my hellridden home and almost damn near killed myself climbing that peice-of-shit fence. But somehow I made it and army-comandoed it across the backyard and to the house. I threw off my sweater and flops and was about to shout in triamph, until I realized...MY MOM WAS AWAKE AND DOWNSTAIRS.
I didnt know what to do. She HAD to have heard me come in. I was about to throw up in fear, and went upstairs as calmly as I could and went to my room and shut the door...then ran into my bed and covered my whole body in sheets, shaking madly. About five minutes after I got into bed mom came into my room, looking down at me for a long moment. I thought "Fucking shit! SHIT! She knows!! Im going to get grounded until I die and never see the love of my life again! I want to DIE!!"
...But she closed the door. And went back to sleep. There are no words for how lucky I was that night. I was so close to getting my heart ripped out by my own mother and forbid to see the one man I love more than anything (and still dont know how or why...)
but it was all worth it. Kidnapped in the middle of the night for 4 and a 1/2 hours until the sun almost rose again... And I've never felt dawn sing to me so sweetly...


Natural Beauty! You impress with your narural
charme and your simple beauty. You only want to
be the person you are and be accepted as that.
Go you!



href="http://quizilla.com/users/roseblossom/quizzes/What%20kind%20of%20beauty%20are%20you%3F%20.._..contains%20Anime%20pictures.._../"> What kind of beauty are you? .._..contains Anime pictures.._..
brought to you by Quizilla

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

   Viva Las Vegas!
Hey ho! Im coming to you from LAS VEGAS homies! lol #^_^# . Its been great! It is sooo much warmer here than in the middle of nowhere! When I was at the airport it was a white out blizzard! The plane got delayed for almost an hour becouse they had to de-ice the entire place. Then I get to wonderful Vegas and Im not actually freezing my butt off. aaahhhh ^_^ .
The best part about being on vacation is, sadly enough, being out of school! Freaking A, I am starting to hate school...its so worthless. Worthless and stupid. Wow, Im having so much fun! ^_^ Teehee, sorry to rub it in... But. Yeah. Im staying at Treasure Island. (Arg, kiss me im a pirate! *smooch*) the buffets kick ass, Ive been to one every day here!... And im kickin' it being a loser under 21 here...*sighs deeply*. But I find things to do.
The only sad thing is that Vegas has changed. Its not cheap anymore! Now its costs like $5 a pop for a drink and everything is way too expensive. Kinda sucks... its polished up a lot too, I cant look like a hobo (dammit) becouse everyone WILL think your a hobo, not just a tourist. HAHA. Now everything is all sophisticated and high dollar...*sighs again*. Still a great place to go, though. I love Vegas!! Ive been there countless times, you see. It never gets boring. Im 17, underaged, and look at how much I can talk about this shit...haha. Way too many times, it sounds like... Anyway, I be flying into Pheniox Arizona to stay with my brother until Sunday, so I'll be chilling with the cacti and working on my tan and shopping...yay! #^_^# Well, time to get myself kicked out of the Casino and drink virgin margaritas until sunrise! Its only 6 hours until daylight! Whoo!
Talk to you soon! xoxo
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Wednesday, February 9, 2005

   Burn in hell...
Holy shit I hate my Spanish class. Not learning it, becouse I accutally enjoy it, but becouse of this annoying little whelp in there. Good freaking God. I hate him!!!!! He's what, 14? He acts like he's still in middle school. Everything that slips from his incompitent mouth are stupidest things I ever heard. GGGAAAH! He's such a little BITCH! And to top it off he has a crush on me and never leaves me the hell alone and wont freaking SHUT UP! GOOD GOD, and lastly...he moved here from our rival school and he lives ACROSS THE STREET FROM ME! A day will come soon when I either:
A. toilet paper his house every weekend and stick little plastic forks in his lawn and blow up his garbage...
B. Kick him in the pants in the hallway at school and just walk away, or:
C. murder him.
Yeppers. I think I will go plan his eventual demise...otherwise, have a considerably less annoying day than mine, Otaku's. God almighty. I need some Midol...


- Ixion Goddess
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Saturday, February 5, 2005

Of sacred thoughts and stupid ones...
Shadow

Today he came to me
Arms open wide
For another girl and not me
I feel my heart breaking
When you turned away laughing
I loved you so much
But I wasnt good enough
Looking away every time we pass
I feel so hopeless
He looks up at me, holding her hand
I hate him more than I can stand

Today I died inside
Giving my heart to the other side
Weeping in agony
As I stood in his doorway
I cannot stop the tears
Everyones laughter in my ears
At the girl who is slowly breaking apart
Left to pick up the peices of her heart
Now there is no one anywhere
Sudden silence in the air
...An empty echo in her chest...
There is no heart beating in my breast

Am I worth saving?
As I start fading
All that is left are tears
That will haunt me for years
Hoping a day will come
When I am made whole
But until then...
I am a broken heart's shadow

~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*~~~~~*
I wrote this poem today. I hope it inspires you otaku rhetorics. This is on a...past event that happend in my life not so long ago. Some guy not worth naming anymore that broke my heart...
Whatever. What doesnt kill us always makes us stronger, Otaku's. Always remember that pain cannot last forever, no matter how unending it seems. Trust Ixion ^_^ for a few months I had to deal with a severe bought with Depression (which, I think, the boy who inspired this poem contributed to...). And I was in the purest state of hell. Every day was an effort to get up without sobbing in my first waking moments. But I faught it. And I got over it becouse I realized I couldnt live in my own misery forever, or else I would die. Rot and fester inside of myself until my soul would twist into nothing. And today I am much beter off, being depressed made me even stronger. If you even need a shoulder to cry on, Ixion is there always ^_^.
Im realizing that much like my own journal, my otaku zine here is kind of...soulful. ROTFL. Cant help myself, I guess. Poopy. Well, looks like Otaku Community will have to deal with it... ^_^ haha. I suppose when you need a dose of insight, Ixion's corner of the universe is the place to go.
lalala de da...woo hoo...and all of a sudden theres a truck tire in the middle of the road--EEEEERRRRRR!!! Whoa. That was close. Heha. Now lets see what happens when your driving with the *other* guys break pads...your driving along and your driving along and all of a sudden the kids are yelling from the back seat "I gotta go to the bathroom daddy!" , "NOT NOW DAMMIT!" ...TRUCK TIRE! EEEEEERRRRRR! I CANT STOP!!!! AAAHHH AAAGGGHHH OOOAAHHH! HELP! Theres a cliff! aaaah! BANG! "OH WERE BURNING ALIVE! NO, I CANT FEEL MY LEGS!" Here comes the meat waggon! *weee ooo wee ooo* and the medic gets out and says "Oh. My. God." , new guys in the corner puking his guts out: bleeehh gaaahhhh!......all becouse you wanted to save a couple extra pennies...
*Blinks* Oh, what? Sorry, I blacked out, what happend? LOL. Thats from Tommy Boy, one of my favorite moves ever! hahaha, I cant help but ever quote it, and thats one of my favorite parts! Rent the movie if you havent seen it!
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Tuesday, February 1, 2005

   What does mommy say about Fudgicles!?
Ok, yeah...I just got suddenly overwhelmed at how pathetically swpt I sound. Lol...Im shaking my head at myself right now.
My dignity begs this to be balanced. Hmm...
Ok. Ok. I got it. Here is an exherpt from a story Im working on right now:

He smiled and drank the blood of his enemies, crushing the glass in his hands to feel the shards crack into thousands of peices under his grip. Watching as the fragments fell to the stone floor and dissapate into nothing. He rose his head slowly, locks of his midnight hair falling over his eyes, looking at the stone pillars covered in demon markings and blood. This place was filled with the smell of death. But he did not mind. He never did. He found the smell of death intoxicating. . .so sweet to the senses. Death and suffering were his soul in its purest form. He was a demon. The ruler over all demons. Demon was a word that almost mocked the power he possessed. For he was so much more. So much more. . .

Whew, ok. Now I dont sound quite so pansy. #^_^# lol... I feel better now...
Later days, I'll stop being weird, for now anyway...

- Me. (still insane.)
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   Uuuuuuuggggghhhhh....
Hell take me from my misery....
(*barf into toilet*)
IM SO SICK OF BEING....SICK!!! Gah! I got the most bastardly sinus infection about 2 weeks ago and was on antibiotics until a day ago. Then, 12 hours later from my last pill, I fell into the pits of hell...sick again like I never nuked my body with pills the size of my brain. (yuo can take that your own way, lol...)
BLOODY HELL JESUS OF NAZARATH!!! Kill me now! This is so horrible...*sniff*... last night I had the most ungodly fever, and spent the whole night writhing in my bed in agony.
(*cough, hack, throw up...*)
*Sigh* well...anywhoo...
Still madly in love with...um...er..."Chi Chi" thats going to be our code name ^_~, lol. Over the weekend he called me on his lunch break at work and talked to me the whole time, then called me again when he got off work. (*blush*) then last night, where we talked for two hours! Im so happy #^_^# teehee.
Its so bizzare. Life, I mean. Personally, I'm not the kind of woman to giggle at every guy that passes me. Or swoon over a pretty face. I see myself as someone who is much more reserved, though sardonic and strange, at times. Haha. I am more mysterious and dramatic...but this guy somehow inspires me to just let go and smile and laugh freely. Im more likely to pick a fight than the situation I find myself in right now. @_@. But anyone, freind or enemy or otherwise, who can make you see the hidden parts of your soul is something special. So I guess we should enjoy the expereince, aye? Life is too ironic sometimes! But...well, good. ^_^.
I'll post an anime pick that looks like him maybe...*snort laugh*

Hey, its the month of Imbloc! Time to cast some love spells and bust out the sexy clothes and perfume! Take a Witch's word, this is a magical time, so use those romantic thoughts for your diabolical plans to take over the white trash-middle class-republican society...muahahaha ^_~

- Ixion Goddess (who is currently out of her mind on fever induced insanity...)
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Friday, January 28, 2005

   So this is love?
...(*gulp*) I think I have met a man I could spent the rest of my life with...
(*swooning*...)
Ladies, gents, do you know what Im talking about? The kind of crush that makes life worth living? when you see this person for a split second in a day and it makes the rest of the day insanely happy??! Honestly...I...I...I'm just speechless! And that never happens to me! Im a writer for god's sake! But somehow he just makes me lose all my words...
(*sighs deeply*...)
Ok. Well, this guy is a senior (a year older than me. For all of you tards who cant add. lol, but neither can I so I cant say much.) and he has jet black hair, and dark brown eyes. He is about 5'9 (7 inches taller than me!! @_@)and very lean, but very muscular. He has a freaking SIX PACK! (aaaahhhhhh!) You may be wondering how I know all of this...uh *cough* this is becouse he, er, gave me this picture of him...
and...its of him in a pink top hat and pink underwear!!! LOL it makes me laugh so hard, and its in my locker where I smile at it between classes, and swoon over how unbelievably hot-how-did-I-get-so-lucky?????!!!!!
I'll scan it and post it for you guys. Girls, you better all thank me on your knees, becouse when you see it...lol, you'll understand. #^_^#
The reason I am completly falling for him is becouse we just...connect. I have never felt so open with anyone, felt like you could trust someone with anything in the world. I feel safe with him. He mkes me feel so beautiful just when he looks at me and smiles. And the best part...? lol, every time we are together, he demands to hug me, the kind of hug that makes you weak in the knees, short of breath, and feel their heartbeat...
(*feels her heart go into cardiac arrest*)
Thats enough for today. Im sure you'll be hearing about him much more. I inspire all of you to write about your love stories today. We'll swap life stories, aye? lol, thats what otaku friends are for!
all my love,
- Ixion Goddess
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Monday, January 17, 2005

   Event of life altering-ness significance...eh. Not really... but close! ^_^ lol
Bueno all, today I got a new computer. Well, thats not really the term for it. This would be more of a DOWNGRADE...from Windows XP to Windows 98...*blush* #^_^# . The reason for this would be becouse my old machine was infested with problems up the wazoo, couldnt so much as connect to the internet without some kind of fatal meltdown! So now home base is some clunky fossil...but it works!!! And in the end, thats all that matters. Im so happy! Cant play music yet (*sigh* no anime mp3s...) but at least I can FINALLY play Zoo Tycoon!! Thank God! Pure bliss!
Hey, this is my first post isnt it? ^_^ yay... well, hello community of My Otaku! I hope all of you are blessed with inspirational anime!
- Ixion Goddess
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