Monday, November 1, 2004

   Hehe....I'm screwed
Ah.....another sword class has passed today and another mark has been added to my attendance card.

Today will be of particular interest to me should I look back upon my life and still hold my rank in the dojo as important. We sparred today in sword class.

Like last time, I was paired with a certain Vash106 of the Otaku (he hasn't updated since he joined).

Maybe it was the armour? The oversized mask? Was it because I didn't have my glasses on? Oh....sure...of course I would blame it on my gear or lack of gear.

In the light, I will have to contemplate this more without biased thought and ideas of self-preservation in the interest of my occupation as senior student in the dojo.

I'm not sure how well I did against him, however I didn't do well enough to convince myself of superiority.

Am I expecting too much of myself? It would be very convenient to say so and accept myself as inferior. I guess it's just being so used to always ranking at or near the top in such matters, especially when it comes to the subject of swordsmanship.

It feels kinda difficult admitting to myself that I've fell behind in these skills. I may have gotten stronger but my rivals have too.

I guess what's getting me is this unfamiliar feeling of admitting defeat. Genetically my father and I have always been very hard-headed and arrogant. The only difference is that my father is always right in the end lol.

I will practice harder and concentrate more next time. My credibility in the eyes of my classmates and my teachers depends on pronouncing superiority whenever possible, but in a modest manner.

Enough of me whining. I'm going to sleep.
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