Monday, May 30, 2005

   Very very confused
Wow. It has been... one hell of a hectic morning. I've just got a post (read previous comments) from Ryan and he loves me. Oy vey. Now, normally, this is a perfect moment for me to say, "aww... thanks," because that's just how I am.

But at 8:30 this morning, I was put in a bit of a loop. -.- It completely threw me off guard. As you may not know, my friend - more like one of my best friend- Phil, whom I consider a brother, has been fighting with me all week. I'm not entirely sure why, but all he'd used to say was "I can't even 'look' at you anymore!" *sigh* Now I know why. This morning he told me he's fallen in love with me. *nods* Yes, I know. What about Ryan?

I've never been the sort to chose. And I would never want to have to come between my best friend - and a person whom I feel so, so close to. I just refuse to do it. Therefore, I'm going to try to let this play out... like snowy fox (thanks again) said, "you can't change what you don't control, so instead try not to let it bother you too much."

Ah, she should be my words of wisdom, I swear. *smiles like an idiot* Anywho, I'll just do as she recommended. Try not to let it bother me. I know it will. I know I'll be in the middle of class Thursday or tomorrow and be like "What am I going to do?"

But I'll try to stay strong. Because Ryan, I suppose wasn't as upset as I thought. Which - believe me. Is a good thing, because my little strawberry isn't the 'mad' type. It worries me. And Phil wasn't as mad as I thought. He just loved me. o.O *sigh*

Well to clear my mind, my other best friends, Jackie D. (I call her Dizzle) and Jen are taking me shopping today for my graduation dress. Or skirt and top. Can't chose. Well I'm looking forward to that. I haven't had a night out with my girls for a while now. So this should be refreshing.

This post, as long as it may seem, is, indeed, not long at all. I'll probably end up posting longer when the outcome of the Ryan vs. Phil thing happens. *sigh* I don't want to chose! I hate this. Gr. Just when all was getting good...

*POKE* Something least expected happens. ;) And as much as an anime fan I am, I'm a bajillion (yes, bajillion) times more of a harry potter fan. <33 sessy. The books coming out soon. woot! That will 'most definitely' cheer me up. I'm going at midnight with Jen to get it as soon as it's released in the U.S. talk about wicked, eh? ;) mm... well, I'll post soon. I swear this will end up being my life journal.

Ox Jackie
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