Wednesday, January 30, 2008

Update...
I called ____ yesterday. She has a bad cold right now. I feel really bad about being happy. She said she was confused, but that she still loves me. We talked for a while and decided that for now we'll continue to be friends and see what happens.

I'm so happy! What if there's a chance of us being together again? I just need to calm down and act normal, act like myself... after all, that's the person she fell in love with, not the way too clingy me.

On another note, thinking about moving out of my house sometime within the next year. I think it would be a good start for me to be out of the house. It probably wont be amazing, but it will at least be a place I can call home.

By the way, I'm cleaning up my friends list on here. So, if you haven't visited myotaku in like a month... well don't take it personally if I delete you as a friend. If this happens to you and you feel that there is some mistake, just PM me and I'll fix the problem.

Oh... and just to hear the reactions of those who choose to comment... I hate Sasuke and Itachi. They both suck. And I think that Naruto and Sakura are the best characters from the show... That felt good.
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Monday, January 28, 2008

Buso Renkin Ending
I'm a major fan of Nobuhiro Watsuki's work (Rurouni Kenshin creator). Most recently I've finished his manga Buso Renkin. I loved the ending, with the whole scar story. Gouta is now able to move on... it felt as if Watsuki knew what I was going through. Another beautiful manga! Just as expected from the master.

I also picked up a manga called Yukitake Ja-pan! It's a manga about bread... yes, bread. It's actually pretty good. Look into it.
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Friday, January 25, 2008

   Here's the thing...
Most of you guys keep asking me questions about what's going on. So... I'll explain. My girlfriend and I broke up. It hurt me a lot. I'm still in love with her, but I realize that as long she doesn't return the feelings, we can never be in a relationship again. I wish I could back and do it over, but I know that, even if I were given that chance, I wouldn't change anything. So... after sleepless nights of tears and painful memories, I decided that I should move on.

She said she would try to be friends still, and I feel that this would be a good idea. I still have these feelings for her, but I know that I can be her friend. This will allow me to better transition in a way. I need to have a life outside of love. I got so caught up in it, that I failed to remember that I have other things in life. This, as I now see, is what she was explaining to me. It's time for me to go back to the way I used to be. Always just hanging out with friends, reading manga, playing video games, just living life as it comes day by day. I need to re-define my reason to get up in the morning.

So, ____ if you're reading this... I look forward to the future, glancing back only to remember the fun times that we've shared. I wish you many more smiles and "Nyaas". I hope that you'll allow me the honor of being your friend.
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Thursday, January 24, 2008

...
You said you thought of me the other day.
It was nice to know
I had somehow found my way into your thoughts.
Not a day goes by that I don�t think of you;
Never a sun has set that I haven�t longed for you.

You miss me, you said.
I have learned to live with missing you.
It�s not so hard.
All I have to do is live:
Close my mind,
Breathe,
And walk and talk,
But, never feel . . .

In other words, I miss you, too.

I make it through with the hope
That only time stands between us,
And each day will bring you closer.
But, I grow impatient.
Why can�t it be tomorrow?

What is this strange enchantment that is cast upon our fate?
Never really together,
Yet, we�ve never really said goodbye.
I just loiter in your memory,
And you linger in my heart,
While each passing day reminds me
That our lives are miles apart.

Don�t you see?
You are my hopes, my thoughts, my dreams.
But, it was nice to hear you say
You thought of me the other day.
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Wednesday, January 23, 2008

   Prelude to an uncertain outcome...
Today... I don't really know how I feel right now. I feel really good about some things and really bad about others. I don't really feel like typing anymore, I typed all night. I didn't sleep very good...well.. I didn't sleep at all. I have something pretty big on my mind right now, I don't really want to tell the world about it though, so... I'll just say it's basically life changing for me. Something happened and I feel more confident now, I feel like I did back when I first met ____ (can't tell you), but at the same time I can't help but wonder what the response is that she's going to give me. I know I'm just confusing you all (and probably even myself). I'm sorry that I can't explain to you further and I don't mean to sound rude, but it's my own business this time. I need to just stand tall and deal with whatever the outcome is... it's just...I hope she remembers... I don't want her to make the decision without reading what I typed all last night, I put all of my feelings into it and I did the best I could to explain how I made a terrible mistake and that I deeply regretted it. I was just trying too hard to make her like me, even though she was already with me. I got myself into this mess, it's time I shoveled my way out. I want her to see that I'm still the man she fell in love with and that we can still have a bright future together.
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Tuesday, January 22, 2008

Sigh...
How's everyone?... I don't have much that I want to type about, but I felt like making a new post. Today is not a good day... Starting off: I got up early to go out in the freezing cold and drive to school. I have art in about 30 min. from now. (I hate this art class). I have Math after that (math is ok, but boring). Then I have to rush to work and work from 2pm 'till close (which can be anywhere from 11-12 midnight). At work I get to freeze my butt off in the milk cooler, the only break being when I fill yogurt or eggs, which still freezes my hands, even though my hands are always cold... though just thinking about the fact that my hands are cold helps me trough it (apparently if you have cold hands, you have a warm heart...my girlfriend told me that)... I guess I'm going to stop typing... I still don't feel that great.
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Wednesday, January 16, 2008

Hey everyone...
2nd term of college is worse than the 1st. The only fun class is Taekwondo. The rest are so boring. Art is terrible, no offence to those who enjoy it, but it's so boring to me, we don't get to draw what we like, we have to draw all this other pointless stuff. And english is just read out of a textbook and write about it... yawn.

I hope I get moved up at work faster, I'm trying to be able to afford to move out. My friend is getting an awesome Fireman job that will allow him to be able to afford a nice house. He says that my GF and I are allowed to stay there for a while, so I thought that was cool. Hopefully I'll already be moved out somewhere by the end of the Summer, at least... that's my goal.

My GF is mad at me right now T.T , but I completely deserve it. I'm not giving her enough space. I'm always trying to be around her. I just need to find something to do on my own, she needs to know that I can be happy even when she's not there. I sent her a PM on here, so I hope she reads it and isn't as mad. But anyway, you guys probably don't want to hear about my relationship.

I guess that's pretty much it for the update, Sushi with my friends was awesome, I hope that my friends will want to go on a little beach vacation thing I'm trying to make happen, and I want K-con to get here faster. Last year K-con '07 was the best weekend of my life. Of course, you guys already know that from my rambling on before, which is what I'm doing now so... I'll end now.
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Monday, December 17, 2007

MyO family!!! ^^x
shuichiyukilove - My Beautiful Wife [kisses cheek] (teehee ^^x)
the78thdude - My True Brother ('till death man)
Manga.is.da.best - My Loyal Sister (though she can get kind of hyper, and her hair style has given her many double-takes (^^x), she's as understanding as she is loyal to her friends)
UniqueSideEffect - The dark spirit that haunts the fridge (so much for midnight snacks... Taco Bell anyone?) [munches on 4th meal]
Raina - Filthy rich cousin who resides in the mansion across the street (we go over and use her pool all the time, oh and I shouldn't leave out her movie theatre...[gets looked at by everyone] I don't care if I've seen The Last Samurai 10,000 times... I'm watchin' it again dammit!)
TheNextFLCL - The flaming rabid squirrel that constantly throws nuts at our window. But we let him in for christmas, he's pretty good for roasting chestnuts on. ^^x
AiTenTen - Adorable doggie that likes to lay on the couch all the time (even with muddy paws...^^x)
Yinandyang - The artist of the family. She draws great! You should check them out. She'll sell better than Kinkade or Rockwell ever did. ^^x
MewMewKitty - The adorable, big-eyed kitten
RyosukeForever -
FangedKiller - Kid Brother ("I said keep away from the cheesecake!")
ReinaQ - My Sister (though she doesn't come visit [tears])
Schultzie - Distant cousin (warning: keep away from the eggnog ^^x)
Seph097 -
Yumi08Uchiha -
QueenOfWerewolf - Lives next door, but comes over for holidays (good conversationalist)
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Thursday, December 6, 2007

Chivalry is not dead...
I was reading a post on a friend of mines site ("AiTenTen"), when I came across the whole girls vs. guys dodgeball thing. Apparently she got hurt from a game. This just didn't sit well with me. In my highschool I don't remember throwing a dodgeball at a girl. It just isn't what I would do. Call me old-fasioned or whatnot, but I just... I don't know... wouldn't feel right. I find it idiotic for all of those guys out there that think that chivalry is dead, and I find it equally dumb for all those girls out there that don't want guys to be chivalrus.

I was brought up to be polite to a lady, regardless of the circumstances. A gentlemen should open the door for a lady, he should take her coat for her and pull out her chair, help to carry anything so that they don't have to, walk on the outside of the sidewalk (in-case you don't know, this was originally for when it was raining out or wet on the street, if a car passed by and splashed water it would hit the man instead of the woman, but it also enables the man to push the woman out of the way if a vehicle veers off the road), just doing these little things makes a huge difference to a woman.

I encourage all who read this to be a little more courteous to a woman. And ladies, allow the men to do these things, they aren't "dominating your sex" or "acting like their better than you" or something... they are just being polite.

“Chivalry!---why, maiden, she is the nurse of pure and high affection---the stay of the oppressed, the redresser of grievances, the curb of the power of the tyrant ---Nobility were but an empty name without her, and liberty finds the best protection in her lance and her sword.”
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Friday, November 30, 2007

A reason to get up...
I've probably said something like this before, but after spending all of last night doing homework for college finals, I felt it necessary to repeat myself. We all need a reason to get up in the morning. Not because we have to for school, work, etc., but because we want to. We need to feel like we have some purpouse, otherwise, what's the point? As soon as you wake up, before you get out of bed, try to think of the reason you are doing so. That reason can be anything really; family, friends, any goals you have or special days you look forward to, maybe it's that special someone that you adore, pretty much anything that means the most to you. ("Where your treasure is, there your heart will be also.")

If you can't think of a reason, maybe it's time for you get one. Which, by the way, would be a reason of its own.

It's rather easy to tie your reason to the hard fact that you should get out of that bed. (Sometimes we are just so freakin' tired!!!) All you do is think of all the things you need to accomplish to reach your reason. Myself, for example: I get up in the morning at around 5:30 get ready and get in my car to drive 30 min. down the freeway to my college because my first class starts at 7:00. But I don't get out of bed simply because I don't want to miss my class, I get out of my bed because I know that if I do well in school I can one day reach my Graphic Design dream job and be able to afford a nice house and be able to happily support a family with my future wife. And I get up so that I can be able to go to my part-time job that makes me enough to be able to drive my car and have spending money to go spend time with my girlfriend.([sigh] I really love her).

I hope that some of you will listen and understand what I mean. You can just let this thing travel through your skull, in one ear out the other, or you can act upon it. ("I may be wrong, but I'm never in doubt.")

Anyway... You probably have had enough to read by now, if you're actually reading this at all, so I'll end this post with some sorta cool quote or something.

"Love and kindness are never wasted. They always make a difference. They bless the one who receives them, and they bless you, the giver."


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