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Sunday, July 11, 2004
Funny Fake Articles
Some stories from theonion.com for your enjoyment:
KANSAS CITY, MO—Cale Parnell, 7, said Monday that he no longer holds Shrek in high regard, ever since the green ogre started appearing in TV ads for Burger King Kids Meals. "Shrek just wants to sell things and make money," Parnell said. "He doesn't care if kids like me are having fun." Parnell added that Shrek is "just like that stupid money-grubber SpongeBob SquarePants."
NEW HAVEN, CT—Mindy Neuberg, 29, ignored an instance of sexual harassment "just to avoid the hassle," the attractive writer reported Tuesday. "This bouncer at Sweeney's pulled me out of the line to 'frisk me for weapons,' and after calling me 'sweet-cheeks,' he spent way too much time checking me for a gun," Neuberg said. "I should have complained, but I would've had to get his name, find the manager, and make my case... It just didn't seem worth it." Neuberg said that her decision to drop the issue was also influenced by the fact that, "after getting publicly felt up by some meathead," she really needed to get to the bar for a gin and tonic.
ITAMARAJU, BRAZIL—Four days after criminal organization Comando Vermelho seized control of the Novo Mundo Resort, activities director Janet Puchesy, 28, continues to make the most of the tense situation, bringing fun and creativity to the storage room where she and her fellow survivors are trapped, the hostage reported Monday.
WASHINGTON, DC—According to a study released Monday by the Hammond Political Research Group, many of the nation's liberals are suffering from a vastly diminished sense of outrage.
Man, I love that site ^_^
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