Thursday, May 6, 2004

When God closes a door, he shuts and padlocks a window. Erm, don't read into that headline too much. I needed something to put there. ~_^ I still haven't really updated my page since v2 was launched. So I might tinker around with it a little bit later on. I just feel like I don't have the energy to do it. I just spent the last three hours doing N-Sider-related stuff...so, I think that's enough for this evening. It's been an incredibly odd week, again. The last couple of weeks, I feel like I've been in the twilight zone. Does that ever happen to you? It is sort of like, one moment I'm in a vaccuum and nothing looks or feels real. And the next moment, everything is almost too real. I can't quite explain it. It might just be the topsy turvy nature of my love life, which has been a seemingly extreme mixture of good and bad, ever since I became single toward the end of last year. Weird is definitely the best way to describe how things have felt lately. To some extent, I think this has affected online stuff. Some things I've attended to, which really needed work. Other things I've neglected, because I've found it very difficult to feel any passion or interest in the Internet lately. You know what I mean? Normally, I have periods where I feel really passionate about things and I work very hard. But sometimes, I can work insanely hard on something and I'll get nowhere -- it's like running and not moving. This is because, I find it very difficult to work on projects when I don't have the interest in what I'm doing. Usually, with things like Otaku and such, I do have the interest. And that always fuels me to do some relatively good work. But...even that, lately, hasn't been there for me. It feels like all my passion for online projects has been seeping out of me for the last few weeks...to the point where now, it feels like an enormous effort to actually come up with new ideas. The only exception to this would be Kill Adam. For some reason, I've had a lot of ideas about it lately and I've been eager to put them into practice. Even the myOtaku homepage design for example; this should have been completed already. But after I finished the logo and placed it on the page, I sat there and looked at the white space. And I sat there, and sat there. And nothing. No ideas. Not a single thought -- I couldn't think about where to place things on the page, I couldn't think about what colours to use, I couldn't imagine where certain elements would fit. And I began disliking the basic layout that I'd come up with, in the first place. I thought that maybe this would just be something for one night or two, like a writer's block (which happens to all of us). But in general...nothing. No inspiration, no ideas, no desire. It's a bit worrying, because it hasn't happened to me since I started working on the web, in early 2001. Maybe I'm just ready for retirement, or something entirely different. I really don't know. Hopefully this phase will pass.

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Monday, May 3, 2004

The truth is revealed. So, what did you think of the twist in the latest chapter of Kill Adam? As you may have guessed, not all of those prison conversations involve the same two people. Right now, the second last chapter has begun. There is only one more to come, after Arianna's death. And then, I'll be gearing up for Kill Adam: Volume 2. That should be fun. Totally new post design and everything...should be interesting and fresh, but still tied to the first. So I hope people enjoy it when it comes around. I'm also planning to add another story to The Reanimatrix, but I haven't been working on it lately. It's the kind of story where it's a bit difficult to put things together, because it uses a couple of existing Matrix characters. Dialogue is always the hardest thing for me to write, especially when I'm writing for someone who already exists and who people know. Anyway, now it's up to myself, Josh and Tori to complete this second last chapter. We're almost there. Let's make this last fight in the story a dramatic two-on-one battle. ~_^

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Sunday, May 2, 2004

"It's never enough." Right now I am preparing for Kill Adam's second volume. I haven't talked much about the specifics of the story, because a lot of that is soon to be revealed. The end of Volume 1 still has at least one big surprise left. A twist that some will love and some will probably hate. lol But, Kill Bill has had similar twists (anyone who's seen KB2 will be aware of that). Although at this point, I am less and less inclined to compare the two...because Kill Adam's story has evolved differently. And my plans for the second volume are noteably different to Kill Bill's second volume. Mostly I think we're talking about similarities between styles/themes, more than anything else. I've posted a little teaser poster in the art forum for Kill Adam: Volume 2. It might give you a hint as to what the second volume is about (and how the first ends up), if you can guess who the silhouettes represent. I really like the idea of using silhouettes rather than direct and deliberate photographs. Also...if you can guess who those two people are, you may also work out who the two people are who are having converastions in prison, throughout Volume 1. Although Volume 1 and 2 may seem somewhat different (and they are), the two are still fundamentally linked. And although Volume 1 does not have a linear progression, if you read both 1 and 2...a lot of things will become clear. Some of Volume 1's chapters will be revealed in Volume 2, for example. And Volume 2 will expand things significantly I imagine. However, it becomes difficult because if I follow the Kill Bill line...then Volume 2 will primarily have characters from the first volume only (and no, or very few, new ones). I must change that, to give people the opportunity to sign up. But I haven't yet worked out how to fit that in with what we've done so far. So I'll see how that progresses. Anyway, I think that the future for this story is bright. And I hope that everyone enjoys the direction it goes in, once Volume 1 concludes. What about my Matrix RPG, you ask? It's still there. But...it's not ready yet. It needs more time and work. So, I am going to hold off on it for the time being. Reanimatrix is still live, afterall (and I have a couple of things I want to submit to it soon anyway). Oh, while I am here; SaiyanPrincessX sent me a very pretty banner as a birthday gift. I wanted to publicly thank her for that, it was an awesome present. It's fantastic to receive a gift that someone has put some serious work into; very awesome. So thank you for that, Becky. And thanks again to everyone for the birthday wishes. ^_^

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Saturday, May 1, 2004

I've killed an awful lot of people to get this far... Phew, I'm back. So what do I have to say? Kill Bill 2 was a good movie. Not as action oriented as the first (which is a shame, given that the action that was in the movie was all very awesome). But having said that, I was certainly very happy to get more of that great dialogue and character development going. So do I like it as much as the first? I'm not sure. I think, as a whole movie (one and two together), it creates something very cohesive. Kill Adam is better though. ~_^ Also, I'd write a review of the iPod on here...except that I don't have a Firewire port on my PC. So I have to get the USB adapter. Doesn't that suck? Actually, they asked me if I wanted a Firewire port when I first ordered the PC. But I said no, because I never thought I'd use it and I couldn't really justify the extra cost at the time. Now I'm kicking myself. Oh well. USB isn't amazing, but it's fast enough for my purposes. Once I put all of my albums onto the iPod, I'll only be adding/removing now and then, so the speed will be less of an issue. While I am here, I want to thank everyone who wished me a happy birthday over the last couple of days. It's really sweet to read your messages, whether they're on here or OB. I'm very grateful. I also want to wish Adam a happy birthday while I'm here; Adam, I hope you went out and had a good time. I haven't spoken to you in a few days, so I'm looking forward to catching up soon. Also...Shin, I'm sorry if I replied to your PM a bit late. I actually didn't even know I had new PMs until today (the window didn't pop-up for some reason). So, I sent you a reply straight away. I look forward to reading your chapter; it should be most interesting. By the way, click here if you'd like to see my funny KA2 preview poster. ~_^

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Thursday, April 29, 2004

   v2's Slow Emergence

No doubt most of you have noticed the new myO2 design on your Backrooms. It's nice, isn't it? When you see how it is applied to actual member pages, I think you'll be impressed. It's going to be so much cleaner than before and the emphasis will be placed squarely on your design, rather than our design. I think that's a very important part of it. On balance, I think that people will definitely prefer v2, even though some elements of it are a little more "controlled". The flexibility that comes with the improved Style Editor will make a big difference, I believe. In general, this week has been a weird one. And if you read my previous update (and most seemed to; thanks for the comments everyone), you'll have an idea as to why. It's amazing how something can happen, which turns your life on its head, you know? It's especially amazing when something just happens out of the blue, without any forewarning or idea that it's going to happen. Anyway, this last week I've primarily been focusing on my personal life as well as school. And both of those areas do need focus. Tomorrow's my 21st birthday as well (which falls on a school day; blegh), so the weekend should be nice. I'm going to enjoy going out and having fun with friends, which I haven't really done in a few weeks. And apparently a friend of mine (who is having her birthday tomorrow too) is inviting all of us up to her property next Friday. It's like a big farm far from the city...and apparently we're staying overnight. So that should be a lot of fun too. I'm really looking forward to it. On Saturday I'll be seeing Kill Bill 2 as well, which should be fun. I'm really looking forward to it; everything I've heard about the film sounds great (even the lack of fighting = more dialogue thing sounds great to me). So, I'll report on that when it happens. ~_^

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Tuesday, April 27, 2004

   A Week's Difference

Phew, I haven't posted here in a little while. There isn't a huge amount to report, really. I've primarily been focusing on myOtaku related stuff lately (so much so, that I haven't worked on OB stuff at all within the last week). And although I am not satisfied with the way certain things are going in general, I will personally do what I can in my own areas of responsibility. School's going okay, and taking up a lot of time as usual. And...I think I'm falling in love with someone. Wish me luck in that department, won't you?

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Thursday, April 22, 2004

   Passion's Overrated Anyway...

Ugh, another early start. And it's pouring outside. Bleh. I'll live though. ~_^ Last night I was thinking about The Matrix (as I often do) and specifically, I was thinking about the religious symbolism involved. Everyone already knows about the whole "Neo is Jesus" thing. Of course, Neo isn't literally Jesus, but he is the "savior of mankind". Well, sort of. Those who have seen all three movies (but especially the first two) know that the prophecy which dealt with The One was false. Of course, Neo does end up saving mankind in that ironic twist. So he is literally mankind's savior, in a manner of speaking. But not quite in the way that Morpheus and others had first anticipated. I mention this because there has been some talk about the nihilist aspects to The Matrix. But there's an angle that may or may not have been discussed, which I considered last night. It's the idea that The Matrix, as a story, deliberately makes an effort to reveal organized religion as another form of control (much like the Matrix itself). The Matrix is the only reality that Neo understands at the beginning. But then along comes Morpheus, who "shows him the light", so to speak. He reveals to Neo that the Matrix is a fabricated world and that the "real world" is the true reality. At this point, Morpheus is much like a minister in the church. He acts as a guide for Neo, a guide who is apparently very wise and who can lead Neo down the path to truth. Morpheus explains what the Matrix is and he essentially "preaches" to Neo about perception versus reality, in an attempt to convince Neo that the Matrix is a prison and that Zion is where true freedom can be found. It's sort of like saying that the life you now know is wrong and that the life I'm telling you about is the truth; to me, it closely mirrors some kind of religeous indoctrination. But wait. At the end of Reloaded, the truth is revealed. The "prophecy" that Morpheus believes so strongly in, is actually yet another layer of control, beyond the Matrix itself. Morpheus discovers that his life's work -- to find the One -- has simply been part of a carefully orchestrated process, intended to perpetuate the existence of the Matrix itself. Morpheus is completely crushed when Neo tells him the truth; that the prophecy was a lie and that Zion itself is actually part of the system of control. Zion -- man's only place of freedom and refuge -- isn't actually any of these things. It doesn't represent freedom or protection at all. It exists because the machines allow it to exist. And they periodically destroy it and allow it to start over; the whole thing is an elaborate and entirely logical plot, with one aim; to keep mankind under control. It seems to me that this is one of the messages in the trilogy. Even though Neo is symbolically portrayed as Jesus, there is a very nihilist approach to the whole question of control. Morpheus was like a minister who suddenly discovered that his religion is a lie and that his Messiah is actually a regular man and not a silver bullet who will set mankind free. When considering this, I found that it was an interesting conclusion. I like the fact that in one sense, The Matrix borrows heavily from religion (and from positive aspects of religion) to develop its story, while on the other hand, it apparently slaps religion in the face -- perhaps it's telling those of us who are religious to "wake up" and look beyond our perceived reality or truth. Reality versus perception. It's an interesting topic, for sure. Anyway, I should probably apologize if that little ramble of mine was in any way incoherent or something -- I've had barely any sleep, as a result of the awfully hot weather down here (freak weather for this time of year, apparently). But this idea was on my mind...and it had to be put somewhere.

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Wednesday, April 21, 2004

   Bloody & Beautiful

Well, the long-awaited next chapter to Kill Adam has been posted. Actually, two chapters have been posted (I wrote one myself, and the next features Shinmaru's character). We're nearly there, kids. As I read through Kill Adam as a whole, it does become apparent that the story actually is quite long. I mean, most RPGs can take an entire page to describe what amounts to a relatively short amount of time in the story itself. You know what I mean? Not that this is a bad thing; far from it. But by creating a chapter-based system, I was able to decide what parts of the story I wanted to uncover at what times. So, by doing this, we now have a mosaic of occurrances and discussions, which create a broader picture. I am particularly impressed by the fact that Kill Adam is actually so different to Kill Bill. Yes, there are similarities in the tone and the style of dialogue. But really, consider the fundamentals; the characters, their histories, their relationships and the specific occurrances within the story. It's all pretty original stuff. The more I read it, the more I come to realize that Kill Adam stands on its own two feet as a collaborative effort. I am happy with this, because I originally felt that everyone would be very tempted to stick to things that were very close to Kill Bill. But it hasn't really happened that way. I'm also impressed with the way that the "mature" elements have been handled. Sex and violence (particularly when combined) are never easy to write about. And many RPGs that have come along seem to feature these things simply for the sake of it. But I think when you look at Kill Adam (particularly Josh and Tori's posts), you get a sense that everything is in-context and that it makes sense. It's not there without a reason or a purpose. Jamie and Joshua are violent, bloodthirsty killers, but not without reason. Obviously revenge plays a role, due to the kidnapping (and presumptive murder) of their son. But also, there are some important glimpses into their own histories and lives, before they met Adam. My sign up for Jamie really underlines, in a simple way, why he is the way he is. And Josh has done a fantastic job of creating many subtleties with his own character -- a character who seems to be very torn between the two extremes of love and hate. These are elements that I think make Kill Adam something fun to read. But I think they also make it incredibly rewarding to write; I'm definitely very honored to be participating in a story with so many fantastic writers. It's nice to reflect on RPGs too, especially as they come to an end. Someone mentioned the idea of holding an "open discussion" about Kill Adam once it concludes. We could reflect on the writing, the characters, specific elements of the story and broader meanings of certain things. I think this was a great idea (I think Arcadia mentioned it; please excuse me if I've forgotten ^_^;;). I'm wondering though, do you guys think that it would be a good idea? It'd certainly be a novel end to what has become a pretty novel RPG.

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Sunday, April 18, 2004

   Questions Answered...I think

Whoa, there were lots of questions there...I'll see what I can do. I'll answer them in order. Mimmi's Questions You said once that "I'm not like a horse eating a candy apple when I kiss. ~_^". So how do you kiss ? 0:) Well, that quote comes from Simpsons...I think that Abe Simpson says it. I've always found it funny. Hehe I know for a fact that a lot of guys kiss as though they're trying to completely suck the face off the person they're with. And I know it's not appealing for the other person. So...I don't do that. If you really must know, I would say that I kiss slowly and deliberately. ~_^ Sure, a little tongue is good...but not so that you're blocking someone's airways. lol Whew, I'd go into more detail but...that'd be far too embarassing. ^_^; If I were in Australia and you could spend a day (24 hours) with me, what would we get up to ? Wow, that's a really open question. Hm...I guess I could take you to see all of the sights around my city (of which there are many). Truthfully though, I really don't know. Knowing me, we'd probably end up doing something silly. Recommend a movie that isn't Kill Bill or Matrix (yes, I am forcing you to think of other movies *feels evil*) Well, in terms of sci-fi...I'd recommend A.I. That's one of my favourite movies. It has the tech elements, but it's also very emotional. Other than that, I would recommend Patch Adams. I love that movie. Oh, and, I'd also recommend Toys, with Robin Williams and Joan Cusack. Two Robin Williams movies? You bet. ~_^ If you could rename Pandora's Box, what would you call it ? I'd probably call it something stupid like "Jeh's Secret Box of Fun Stuff"...or something else equally dumb. :-P CRandomHero's Question How much wood would a wood chuck chuck if a wood chuck could chuck wood? If a wood chuck could (and would) chuck wood, you'd have to ask the wood chuck how much wood it could chuck, because only a wood chuck knows how much wood a wood chuck can chuck. Shinji's Question Do you accept my dare to fill up your entire ipod disk space? (no matter how much junk you have to download to it) I don't think I can accept it; I'm too neat to put lots of junk on there. In fact, I'm even paranoid about putting too much on my PC. I never even filled up my old PC, which only had 8.5GB memory. ~_^ Littlenaru's Questions this is my ?: alright i'm coming to australia this summer from iowa,U.S.A. iwas wondring how long do you think my flight would be and how much sunscreen,tan lotion, bug spray,etc...i should be and are timtams good? Okay, are you talking about the American summer? The middle of 2004? If so, you won't need to pack any of that stuff, because it will be winter in Australia. And yes, Tim Tams are sublime. The extra-chocolate ones are like sex for your tastebuds. Juu's Questions What's your favorite Disney Movie? That's really hard to answer. In terms of the non-Pixar stuff...I'd probably have to say Lion King or Aladdin. I never liked the singing in the Disney animated movies though. So I think I always gravitated towards Warner Bros. stuff. (Besides Phazon Cookies) What does James like to eat? I like pasta, roast beef/chicken, salmon, anything with any kind of melted cheese...and of course, chocolate. ~_^ My diet would consist of all of the above, if I could eat anything I wanted. What color iPod are you planning to get? They only come in white, unless you get the iPod Mini. Although the Mini looks nice, it doesn't have enough memory. Besides, the regular one is pretty snazzy anyway. Your wallpaper color is... Black, green and blue. James is (this) tall: About 165cms. I have no idea what that is in feet, but I do know that I'm under 6ft tall. DDG's Questions If you had a million dollars, what would you do? Probably boring stuff. I'd use some to buy a house and car...and I'd put the rest away somewhere to grow. If you could spend one day, with anyone, dead or alive, who would it be? Shigeru Miyamoto. Can you read my mind? 0.0 Yes. Ahh! Stop thinking about that, you're so naughty! ~_^ Are there monsters under my bed? No, but don't let that area get dirty. If it does, junk monsters will appear. Would you ever compete in a reality show? Depends on the type of show. But I doubt it. I don't want to be on TV. If you did compete in a reality show, do you think you'd win? If the show was about boomerang throwing, I'd ace it! Molletta's Questions What's your favorite book? Either Roald Dahl's The Witches, or The Muddleheaded Wombat. Do women really outnumber men four to one in Australia? That's a good question. I think it's pretty evenly matched, in my city. ~_^ Who is your least favorite celbrity? I'm not really sure...but probably Justin Timberlake. Something about him is aggrivating. Radaghast's Question Define "self". I'd give you the dictionary meaning, but that'd be too easy. I think I'll return to this one, maybe. ~_^ Red's Question I'd like to know why you stole my chickens, as I'd like them back. Maggie's getting hungry. :[ I stole them because I like to eat chicken...duh. And I'm teaching one of them to play fetch. He's quite good at it. His name is Cluckie. Japan86's Questions Where on OB is carmen San Deigo? She is hiding in the Moderator forum. May I have a cookie? Sure. *gives Japan a cookie* ...that sounds weird, if you think about Japan as a country rather than a person. lol What do you think of me? ;_; I think you're a pleasant-yet-obsessed Charles-fangirl. What are you three favorite Mario video games ever made? Super Mario Bros., Super Mario 64 and Super Mario Bros. 3. Do you wish you were Mario? I'd love to live in the Mushroom Kingdom! But...I don't think I'd like to be Mario himself. As we can see by his "relationship" with Peach, he never gets any kind of action. If you had all the money in Australia, which 10 OB members would you like to meet? Every last one of them. Did you ever pet a kangaroo? Yeah, many times. They're very cute and very soft. If you hold some feed in your hand, they will hold onto your hand with their little paws and eat from your palm as though it's a plate. Their tongues tickle. ~_^ Do you like the Kangaroo song? (hint...Big Daddy) In all honesty, if I heard that song, I would seriously have to consider suicide. Did you ever spent the night in the Outback all by yourself except for nature? aka camping Not really. I've camped a few times, but only with friends...and never in the Outback. What does your room look like? My room has white walls and black doors. The curtains are entirely black, with a white spider web pattern on them. Will you upload another picture of yourself soon? No. I won't put any pictures online; I'll only send them to certain people. I have one picture of me at a Christmas party...but I'm too embarassed to show it to anyone. When will you be buying another computer microphone? Probably never, because I want to get the voice attachment for the iPod. Then I can record my voice in MP3 or something like that. Will you ever visit Washington state? Hopefully! Do you like Kangaroos? Yes! I love kangaroos. They're all awesome, except Red Kangaroos. Those are the huge ones that can kill you really easily. lol They scare me. O_O Will you call me? Only if I become rich; international calling is really expensive. Maybe one day we can have an OB conference call with lots of people. ~_^ Baron Samedi's Questions Do you watch My Restaurant Rules? Nope. Who do you go for? N/A. Have you been to the Melbourne Restaurant? I can't say that I have. Do you think Tayissa from Melbourne is hot? Who the devil is Tayissa? How much is an iPod? I think the 15GB version is something like A$449, while the 40GB version is about A$799. What kind of music do you like? Everything from Massive Attack to Marilyn Manson. Anything and everything, as long as it has a nice melody and preferably some percussion. Where do you actually work? I work from home. 50% of my work is freelance for publishers. The other 50% is service I provide to my dad's company, with things like graphic design and marketing. HJ's or Macca's? HJ's! Ever tried their burgers? They are absolutely fantastic. And they're "real", unlike McDonald's plastic-like burgers. lol What did you think of the whole Steve Irwin thing? You mean the baby thing? Well, let's face it -- Steve Irwin is an idiot. The man is a walking stereotype. Even when he had a TV show here, he wasn't very popular, because everyone found him to be a laughable oddity. Yet he's become big in America. It's like they say: only in America. And about the baby dangling...well, that was just idiotic. I don't care how well you know wild animals; they are wild. Taking your children into an animal enclosure like that is the epitome of poor parenting. Mark Latham or John Howard? John Howard. Mark Latham is doing some things right (certain welfare reforms and gay rights). But, I don't think he'd make a good Prime Minister. He's too abrasive, too ignorant about world affairs and too idealistic. Howard may not be my cup of tea on a social level, but at least he delivers continuous economic growth and good defence policy. Are my questions boring? They are the most well-rounded so far, I think. Congratulations. And there we go. All done. Maybe I'll do this again next time...if I can't think of something to write. ~_^

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   Big Spender?

Phew. Last week of holidays. Last day actually. Thankfully, they didn't give us a huge amount of stuff to do over the holidays for school. There are a couple of projects ongoing, but none of that is very difficult or time consuming, relatively speaking. Anyway, it's going to be a good month. I'm planning two major purchases. Other than video games, school and clothing, I don't really buy anything. Those things take up all of my income -- especially school, since it's full-fee based. Ugh. I'm planning to finally upgrade from 56K to ADSL. I'd rather cable, but there are some logistical issues with that (being that we already have two cable lines coming to our house from the street and our house's architecture is apparently "weird", which makes it more expensive to get a third line). So cable will come later, I imagine. But ADSL is fine with me; any broadband is good compared to what I have now. lol I'm also planning on purchasing an iPod for myself. The truth is, I've wanted a portable CD player for the longest time. But every time I have the money, I tend to buy something that I really need...rather than something I just want. As a result, I've never yet bought a portable CD player at all. If I ever use one, I just borrow my sister's. But it's annoying to use on the train. It's cumbersome to change discs...and who wants to carry heaps of discs with them anyway? It's just not really comfortable. So, finally I'm in a position where I can buy an iPod. I figure it'll be good for school as well, because I can use it instead of a ZIP drive, for graphics files. Originally I'd planned to buy the 20GB version, partly because you get various extra stuff with it (other than the higher memory). But when I mentioned it to my mum, she said that my birthday is coming up...and that I could get the 40GB model if I wanted. She and dad offered to pay the rest. Isn't that cool? There is no way I'm going to be able to use up all 40GBs. Even on a 15GB model...I'd be straining to fill it up entirely. So this will be nice. I'm also planning to buy those "in-ear" buds, and possibly the voice recorder attachment. I already bought a seperate voice recording device, with the little tapes...which isn't really very good, because it's hard to translate that to the computer. But with an iPod, I can do interviews and stuff entirely digitally. That'll be so useful. So I think it's a wise purchase; the music will be good, and the functionality of a portable hard drive will be incredibly useful for school and work. And after that, I won't be splurging again for a while. lol My poor, poor wallet. X_X EDIT: For my next post, I shall borrow Mimmi's idea. Why don't you ask me some questions -- something you'd like to know -- for me to answer? I've never tried it before, so I thought it might be fun. I especially love reading other people's replies to those questions. Nothing is taboo...but I do reserve the right to make a "no comment". ~_^

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