Friday, October 28, 2005

Stand up and bitch.

Usually, my immediate family goes on holiday to Phillip Island once a year. Unfortunately this year it hasn't happened for various reasons, which is disappointing. I did go down there with one of my friends recently, but that was only overnight (thought it was still very nice). However, it looks like I may be in for another trip anyway. One of my friends recently lost his job and is going back home to Brisbane to study. As far as I know, he's actually going to be driving up there and he invited me to come along. So that could be very cool; I haven't been to either Sydney or Brisbane, so it'd be fun to take a tour of the east coast. The only problem really is work. Given the relatively short notice of the whole thing, that could be a little tough. But I'll do my best to work around that - it'd be a great opportunity to see more of the country than I've seen so far. Anyway, I've been following The Legionnaires a bit and I have to say that the whole thing is pretty impressive. I'm enjoying what I've seen so far. The scale of the project is very daunting though, I don't think I could organize something like that. But it did lead me to thinking about my own RPGs. I have updated my Arena Underground thread with some of my thoughts. Speaking of OB, I've noticed that some people seem very dissatisfied with it lately. The guy quoted there reminds me of Sciros a little, although I'm not sure who he actually is. It's kind of funny though and it made me think. I get the strong impression that people tend to treat me differently because of my position. By that I mean, maybe people feel that they can't disagree or something like that (not that it's ever been a problem for plenty of people, lol). Perhaps that's not quite it, I don't know. Usually I feel that I'm kind of walking an odd line. On the one hand, I'm a member of this community and I've made friends here. So I try to basically just be myself and express my views and all the rest of it. But at the same time, I'm also heavily involved in working on this place and organizing staff. So I'm also on the other side as well. Because of that, I'm often in a position of having to sell ideas and "promote" things, for lack of a better word. I suspect that my "promotion" comes across as it shouldn't at times. With Art of Otaku for example, it's not as though I'm literally standing here and saying "OMG, everything we do is the best, you will love it more than your mother!" You know what I mean? Obviously I'm promoting it, because it's an important project of ours...but I'm really only promoting it the same as any of you would promote your own sites. Of course, I do actually believe that it's good quality - even when I'm not happy with things we do, I still think that we attempt to provide as much value as we can. So it's not dishonest or anything, it's just that I'm kind of in a role where it's my job to promote something. Shy will tell you that one of my known traits is loving newbies. I was thinking about that today as well. Maybe one reason why I enjoy them is because they haven't yet developed that cynicism/negativity. I notice a bit of a pattern. Members come and go and when they finally go, they seem to go in one of two general directions. Either they simply lose contact gradually and pop in from time to time...or they become somehow bitter or upset or angry and decide to launch bombs at the network from afar. I wouldn't say that I object to criticism, if it's constructive. If I did, we wouldn't have a Suggestions & Feedback forum. But the whole bomb-throwing thing confuses me. It's not as though I've chained these people up and forced them to visit OB or myOtaku, you know? It's not as though they are breaking free from years of oppression. They chose to come, they chose to visit and they chose to leave. So why, then, is it necessary to dig the knives in from a safe distance? Perhaps I am just taking everything too literally, but sometimes I can't help but wonder why I bother at all. Where is the encouragement to do better? Where's the encouragement to expand? If the being more successful and prominent also leads you to being a bigger target (which seems obvious as I type it here), then what incentive do any of us have to work hard and create something popular? I sometimes feel that there is a double standard, because I can't seem to get away with expressing an opinion on anything without it seeming as though I'm pounding it into someone's skull - no matter how generous or calm I attempt to be. And yet someone like Kevin (who you may or may not know), can gain sympathy despite all of the unethical behavior (everything from direct plagiarism to pretty harsh treatment of a whole slew of people online). Do you think that my attempt to walk the line between "member" and "PR person" results in some kind of duplicity from people? If I am walking a line between two things, maybe other people are doing the same to me. And what does that really mean? Does it mean that I should only be one or the other? Just do a job and not have personal connections, or have personal connections and never promote anything or do anything "official" around here? It's not something that really worries me - I'm sure I'll just continue to do what I've been doing - but it's an interesting question. The guy mentioned in Azure's post isn't really a good example, because if anyone cares to read our discussion...I simply tried to explain my disagreement in a logical and calm way. And then I get told that I'm sucking Miyamoto off. I can't be missing something - whatever that is, it's not my fault. lol But I suppose that in general it did make me think about what I've been seeing lately - something that is not really a recent phenomenon, but which is just a bit more noticeable lately. At the end of the day, I guess I really can't change how people feel about things. All I can do is try to have fun with what we do here and make the best of it. There will always be unfairnesses to it and I think I have to simply learn to look forward rather than sideways. In an odd way, it actually kind of spurs me on. Sometimes I view it as a challenge. When it doesn't downright confuse me, it motivates me to simply do a better job and to work harder to make something fun/worthwhile. By even devoting this much space to these thoughts, I am probably giving them far more visibility than they really deserve. But this is a blog and this is what I was thinking about just now. So I thought I'd spill my random and vague thoughts about it here. Anyway, on to the comments. Alan: Hah, that's an odd association. But I know what you mean...that sort of thing happens to me all the time! Solo: Wow, a Solo comment! It's nice to see that you're still around. ^_^ Alexus: Yeah, it's so weird how we can associate two very different things like that. HC: Er, I don't remember...but PDFs in general aren't necessarily great. Just depends on the actual PDF. Art of Otaku works well in PDF form though. Annie-kun: I'm sure you will enjoy it! Hopefully it includes some tutorials that suit you. ^_^ Chab: Yeah, it's a little like that, except that the modules are not visible on your page. Instead, they all relate to the backroom workspace. John: Oh believe me, Adam's public-friendly juggernaut-mode is how he is in real life! He's just too pleasant for his own good - I keep telling him to be more aggressive. ~_^ But yeah, perhaps he should share my "picture" around again. Or maybe I should share his. You'd be surprised at how much he looks like Raul Julia... indifference: Well, I think a lot of places tend to neglect their free services when they introduce a subscription service. What we are doing is focusing first on myOtaku Basic, which is the free service. It will be a major upgrade in just about every way. So really, you will still feel as though you're getting a premium service. Premium will be even better and more feature-rich, but it will come a little later. We felt that it would be best to focus on the free service first and then build up from that. That way we can ensure that we aren't leaving behind the free service users. Sennen: So, will you always associate The Cure with Revolution now? I will always associate Revolution with Goldfrapp, after first seeing the controller. Somehow though, the song's lyrics matched what I was seeing in an odd way...

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