Sunday, December 7, 2003

   100 ways to confuse your room mate!
This is hysterical, I recieved it through E-mail!

>100 ways to confuse your roommate:
>
>
>1. Insist that you are a vegetarian and protest anytime your
>roommate eats meat. Then leave "Slim Jim" wrappers on the floor and
>lie on the bed holding your stomach every time your roommate walks
>in. If he/she asks about the wrappers, say you know nothing about
>them.
>
>2. Get some hair. Disperse it around your roommate's head while
>he/she is asleep. Keep a pair of scissors by your bed. Snicker at
>your roommate every morning.
>
>3. Every time your roommate walks in yell, "Hooray! You're back!" as
>loud as you can and dance around the room for five minutes.
>Afterwards, keep looking at your watch and saying, "Shouldn't you be
>going somewhere?"
>
>4. Trash the room when your roommate's not around. Then leave and
>wait for your roommate to come back. When he/she does, walk in and
>act surprised. Say, "Uh-oh, it looks like, THEY, were here again."
>
>5. Every time you see your roommate yell, "You son of a..." and kick
>him/her in the stomach. Then buy him/her some ice cream.
>
>6. Set your roommate's bed on fire. Apologize and explain that
>you've been watching too much "Beavis & Butthead." Do it again. Tell
>him/her that you're not sorry because this time, they deserved it.
>
>7. Put your glasses on before you go to bed. Take them off as soon
>as you wake up. If your roommate asks, explain that they are Magic
>Dream Glasses. Complain that you've been having terrible nightmares.
>
>8. Eat lots of "Lucky Charms." Pick out all the yellow moons and
>stockpile them in the closet. If your roommate inquires, explain
>that visitors are coming, but you can't say anything more, or you'll
>have to face the consequences.
>
>9. Set up meetings with your roommate's faculty advisor. Inquire
>about his/her academic potential. Take lots of notes, and then give
>your roommate a full report. Insist that he/she do the same.
>
>10. "Drink" a raw egg for breakfast every morning. Explain that you
>are in training. Eat a dozen donuts every night.
>
>11. Every Thursday, pack up everything you own and tell your
>roommate you're going home. Come back in an hour and explain that no
>one was home. Unpack everything and go to sleep.
>
>12. Every time you wake up, start yelling, "Oh, man! Where the heck
>am I?!" and run around the room for a few minutes. Then go back to
>bed. If your roommate asks, say you don't know what he/she is
>talking about.
>
>13. Draw a tiny, black spot on your arm. Make it bigger every day.
>Look at it and say, "It's spreading, it's spreading."
>
>14. Buy a McDonald's "Happy Meal" for lunch every day. Eat the straw
>and the napkin. Throw everything else away.
>
>15. Buy a plant. Sleep with it at night. Talk to it. After a few
>weeks, start to argue with it loudly. Then yell, "I can't live in
>the same room with you," storm out of the room and slam the door.
>Get rid of the plant, but keep the pot. Refuse to discuss the plant
>ever again.
>
>16. Buy a Jack-In-The-Box. Every day, turn the handle until the
>clown pops out. Scream continuously for twenty minutes.
>
>17. Hang up pictures of chickens all over the room. If your roommate
>eats eggs, yell at him/her and call him/her a cannibal.
>
>18. Buy some knives. Sharpen them every night. While you're doing
>so, look at your roommate and mutter, "Soon, soon...."
>
>19. Lock the door while your roommate is out. When he/she comes back
>and tries to unlock it, yell, "Don't come in, I'm naked!" Keep this
>up for several hours. When you finally let your roommate in,
>immediately take off all of your clothes, and ignore your roommate.
>
>20. Bring in potential "new" roommates from around campus. Give them
>tours of the room and the building. Have them ask about your
>roommate in front of him/her, and reply, "Oh, him/her? He/she won't
>be here much longer."
>
>21. If your roommate comes home after midnight, hit him/her on the
>head with a rolling pin. Immediately go to bed, muttering,
>"Ungrateful little..."
>
>22. Pile dirty dishes in your roommate's bed. Insist that you don't
>know how they got there.
>
>23. Collect hundreds of pens and pile them on one side of the room.
>Keep one pencil on the other side of the room. Laugh at the pencil.
>
>24. Feign a serious illness for two weeks. Have a priest come to
>your room and visit you. Write out a will, leaving everything to
>your roommate. One day, miraculously "recover." Insist that your
>roommate write out a will, leaving everything to you. Every time
>he/she coughs, excitedly say, "Oooh, are you dying?"
>
>25. Live in the hallway for a month. Afterwards, bring all of your
>stuff back into the room and tell your roommate, "Okay, your turn."
>
>26. Keep a tarantula in a jar for three days. Then get rid of the
>tarantula. If your roommate asks, say, "Oh, he's around here
>somewhere."
>
>27. Tell your roommate, "I've got an important message for you."
>Then pretend to faint. When you recover, say you can't remember what
>the message was. Later on, say, "Oh, yeah, I remember!" Pretend to
>faint again. Keep this up for several weeks.
>
>28. Bowl inside the room. Set up tournaments with other people in
>the building. Award someone a trophy. If your roommate wants to bowl
>too, explain that he/she needs bowling shoes.
>
>29. Walk backwards all the time. Then pretend to trip and hurt
>yourself. Fake an injury and go through a long, painful recovery.
>Start walking backwards again.
>
>30. While your roommate is out, glue your shoes to the ceiling. When
>your roommate walks in, sit on the floor, hold your head, and moan.
>
>31. Explain to your roommate that you're going to be housing a
>prospective student in the near future. One day, bring in a pig. If
>your roommate protests, hug the pig and tell your roommate that
>he/she hurt its feelings. Watch T.V with the pig, eating lots of
>bacon.
>
>32. Make a sandwich. Don't eat it, leave it on the floor. Ignore the
>sandwich. Wait until your roommate gets rid of it, and then say,
>"Hey, where the heck is my sandwich!?" Complain loudly that you are
>hungry.
>
>33. Punch a hole in the TV. Sit and watch it anyway, complaining
>about the poor picture quality.
>
>34. Wear a cape. Stand in front of an open window for about an hour
>every day. Then, one day, when your roommate is gone, go outside and
>lie down underneath the window, pretending to be hurt, and wait for
>your roommate to return. The next day, start standing in front of
>the window again.
>
>35. Collect potatoes. Paint faces on them and give them names. Name
>one after your roommate. Separate your roommate's potato from the
>others. Wait a few days, and then bake your roommate's potato and
>eat it. Explain to your roommate, "He just didn't belong."
>
>36. Fill an empty shaving cream can with whipped cream. Use it to
>shave, and then spray some into your mouth. Later on, complain that
>you feel sick. Continue this process for several weeks.
>
>37. Cover your bed with a tent. Live inside it for a week. If your
>roommate asks, explain that "It's a jungle out there." Get your
>roommate to bring you food and water.
>
>38. Keep a vacuum cleaner in the middle of the room. Look at it with
>fear for a few days. Then stay out of the room entirely, opening the
>door only a crack and whispering to your roommate, "Psst! Is it
>gone?"
>
>39. Break the window with a rock. If your roommate protests, explain
>that you were hot. Open and close the broken window as you normally
>would.
>
>40. Throw darts at a bare wall. All of a sudden, act excited,
>telling your roommate that you hit the bull's eye.
>
>41. Send flowers to your roommate, with a card that says, "I'm
>sorry. It won't happen again." When you see them, start ripping up
>the flowers. Repeat the process for a few weeks.
>
>42. Call your roommate "Clyde" by accident. Start doing so every so
>often. Increase the frequency over the next few weeks, until you are
>calling him "Clyde" all the time. If your roommate protests, say,
>"I'm sorry. I won't do that anymore, Murray."
>
>43. Hire a night watchman to guard the room while you are sleeping.
>
>44. Move everything to one side of the room. Ask your roommate if he
>knows how much an elephant weighs, and look at the floor on the
>empty side of the room with concern.
>
>45. Practice needlepoint every night. At one point, grab your thumb
>and scream, "Owwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!" Cry hysterically for a few
>minutes, and then go to bed. Sob and sniff all night.
>
>46. When your roommate comes in, pretend that you are on the phone,
>screaming angrily and shouting obscenities. After you hang up, say,
>"That was your mom. She said she'd call back."
>
>47. Every time your roommate comes in, immediately turn off the
>lights and go to bed. When he/she leaves, get up and loudly yell,
>"Okay, guys, you can come out now."
>
>48. Start wearing a crown, all the time. If your roommate tells you
>to take it off, say, "What the heck do you think you are? A king?"
>
>49. Sit in front of a chess board for hours, saying nothing, doing
>nothing. Then, look up and say, "I think this game goes a lot faster
>with two players."
>
>50. Talk back to your "Rice Krispies." All of a sudden, act
>offended, throw the bowl on the floor and kick it. Refuse to clean
>it up, explaining, "No, I want to watch them suffer."
>
>51. Change the locks on the door. Don't let your roommate in unless
>he/she says the secret word. Change the secret word often. If your
>roommate can't guess the secret word, make him/her pay a tithe.
>
>52. Scatter stuffed animals around the room. Put party hats on
>them. Play loud music. When your roommate walks in, turn off the
>music, take off the party hats, put away the stuffed animals, and
>say, "Well, it was fun while it lasted."
>
>53. Hang a tire swing from the ceiling. Act like a monkey. If
>someone besides your roommate comes in, cease acting like a monkey
>and claim that the tire swing was your roommate's idea. When you
>and your roommate are alone again, continue acting like a monkey.
>
>54. Unplug everything in the room except for one toaster. Pray to
>the toaster. Bring it gifts. Throw some of your roommate's
>possessions out the window. Say that the toaster made you do it.
>
>55. Challenge your roommate to a duel. If he/she refuses, claim
>that you have won by forfeit and therefore conquered his/her side of
>the room. Insist that he/she remove all of his/her possessions
>immediately.
>
>56. Sign your roommate up for various activities. (Campus tour
>guide, blood donor, organ donor).
>
>57. Start dressing like an Indian. If your roommate inquires, claim
>that you are getting in touch with your Native-American roots. If
>your roommate accuses you of not having any Native-American roots,
>claim that he/she has offended your people and put a curse on your
>roommate.
>
>58. Wear your shoes on the wrong feet, all the time. Constantly
>complain that your feet hurt.
>
>59. Hit your roommate on the head with a brick. Claim that you were
>trying to kill a mosquito.
>
>60. Steal something valuable of your roommate's. If he/she asks
>about it, tell him/her that you traded it for some magic beans.
>Give some beans to your roommate.
>
>61. Instead of turning off the light switch, smash the light bulb
>with a hammer. Put a new bulb in the next day. Complain often
>about the cost of light bulbs.
>
>62. Videotape yourself hammering a nail into a wall for a while, and
>then stopping. Play the tape in your room. Right before the
>hammering stops on the videotape, look at the screen and say, "Don't
>do that."
>
>63. Buy a lamp. Tell your roommate it's a magic lamp, with a genie
>inside it. Spend a week thinking about what to wish for. At the
>end of the week, report that someone has released the genie from the
>lamp. Blame your roommate.
>
>64. Whenever your roommate brushes his/her teeth, watch him/her do
>so. Take notes. Write a paper on it, and circulate it around
>campus. If your roommate protests, say, "The people have a right to
>know!"
>
>65. Collect potato chips that you think look like famous people.
>Find one that looks like your roommate. Burn it, and explain, "It
>had to be done."
>
>66. Read the phone book out loud and excitedly. ("Frank Johnson!
>Oh, wow! 837-9494! Holy cow!")
>
>67. Shadow box several times a day. One day, walk in looking
>depressed. If your roommate asks what's wrong, explain that your
>shadow can't box with you anymore due to an injury. Ask your
>roommate if you can box with his/her shadow.
>
>68. When you walk into the room, look at your roommate in disgust
>and yell, "Oh, you're here!" Walk away yelling and cursing.
>
>69. Put up flyers around the building, reporting that your roommate
>is missing. Offer a reward for his/her safe return.
>
>70. Buy a watermelon. Draw a face on it and give it a name. Ask
>your roommate if the watermelon can sleep in his/her bed. If your
>roommate says no, drop the watermelon out the window. Make it look
>like a suicide. Say nasty things about your roommate at the
>funeral.
>
>71. Draw a chalk outline on the floor. When your roommate comes in,
>say, "Don't worry. It's not what you think." If he/she asks about
>it again, immediately change the subject.
>
>72. Drink a cup of coffee every morning. When you finish it, gnaw
>on the mug for about ten minutes. Then, look at your roommate,
>immediately put the mug away, and quickly leave the room.
>
>73. Paint a tunnel on the wall like they do in cartoons. Every day,
>hit your head as you attempt to crawl through it. Hold your head
>and grumble, "Darn road runner...."
>
>74. Leave memos on your roommate's bed that say things like, "I know
>what you did," and "Don't think you can fool me." Sign them in
>blood.
>
>75. Hold a raffle, offering your roommate as first prize. If he/she
>protests, tell him/her that it's all for charity.
>
>76. Make cue cards for your roommate. Get them out whenever you'd
>like to have a conversation.
>
>77. Talk like a pirate, all the time. Threaten to make your
>roommate walk the plank if he/she doesn't swab the deck.
>Arrrrrrrrrrrgh!
>
>78. Set up about twenty plants in an organized formation. When your
>roommate walks in, pretend to be in the middle of delivering a
>speech to the plants. Whisper to them, "We'll continue this later,"
>while eyeing your roommate suspiciously.
>
>79. Buy a telescope. Sit on your bed and look across the room at
>your roommate through the telescope. When you're not using the
>telescope, act like your roommate is too far away for you to see.
>
>80. Keep some worms in a shoebox. When doing homework, go and
>consult with the worms every so often. Then become angry, shouting
>at the worms that they're stupid and they don't know what they're
>talking about.
>
>81. Watch "Psycho" every day for a month. Then act excited every
>time your roommate goes to take a shower.
>
>82. Wear a paper hat. Every time your roommate walks in, say,
>"Welcome to McDonalds, can I take your... Oh, it's just you." Take
>off the hat, sit, and pout.
>
>83. Go through your roommate's textbooks with a red pen, changing
>things and making random corrections. If your roommate protests,
>tell him/her that you just couldn't take it anymore.
>
>84. Leave the room at random, knock on the door, and wait for your
>roommate to let you back in. If he/she asks about it, go on a
>tangent about the importance of good manners.
>
>85. Hang a horseshoe above the door. Make up stories about having
>had good luck. Then, take the horseshoe down and wrap your head in
>bandages. When you see your roommate, look above the door where the
>horseshoe used to be, hold your head, and mutter, "Stupid
>horseshoe...."
>
>86. Carve a jack-o-lantern. Complain to your roommate that the
>jack-o-lantern has been staring at you. The next day, tell your
>roommate that the jack-o-lantern thinks he/she has been staring at
>it. Confide in your roommate that you really don't like the
>jack-o-lantern, but you can't convince it to move out.
>
>87. As soon as your roommate turns the light off at night, begin
>singing famous operas as loud as you can. When your roommate turns
>on the light, look around and pretend to be confused.
>
>88. Hang a basketball net on the wall. Challenge your refrigerator
>to basketball games, and play them in front of your roommate. Do so
>for about a month. Confide in your roommate that you think the
>refrigerator has been taking steroids.
>
>89. Drink lots of lemonade. Talk obnoxiously for hours about how
>much you love lemonade. Then, one day, paint your face yellow.
>From then on, complain about how much you hate lemonade.
>
>90. Late at night, start conversations that begin with, "Remember
>the good old days, when we used to..." and make up stories
>involving you and your roommate.
>
>91. Whenever your roommate sneezes, go and hide in the closet for
>about and hour. Look around nervously for the rest of the day.
>
>92. Sit and stare at your roommate for hours. Bring others in to
>join you. Eat peanuts, throwing a few at your roommate. Then say,
>"Boy, these zoos just aren't what they used to be."
>
>93. Tell your roommate that your toe hurts, and that means there's
>going to be an earthquake, soon. While your roommate is out, trash
>everything on his/her side of the room. When he/she returns,
>explain that the earthquake hit, but only on one side of the room.
>
>94. Buy a gun. Clean it every day. One day, put a band-aid on your
>forehead, and refuse to discuss the gun ever again.
>
>95. Buy a lobster. Pretend to play cards with it. Complain to your
>roommate that the lobster is making up his own rules.
>
>96. Make pancakes every morning, but don't eat them. Draw faces on
>them, and toss them in the closet. Watch them for several hours
>each day. Complain to your roommate that your "pancake farm" isn't
>working. Tell your roommate that you think the king of the pancakes
>has been taking the other pancakes and evolving into a
>self-sufficient community. Confide in your bribes.
>
>97. While you are ironing, pretend to burn yourself. Start a
>garbage can fire in the middle of the room. Toss the iron inside.
>If your roommate objects, explain that you are just trying to get
>even.
>
>98. Buy some turtles. Paint numbers on their backs. Race them down
>the hall.
>
>99. Create an army of animal crackers. Put them through basic
>training. Set up little checkpoints around the room. Tell your
>roommate that the camel spotted him/her in a restricted area and
>said not to do it again. Ask your roommate to apologize to the
>camel.
>
>100.Put out a plate of cookies at night. Tell your roommate that
>they're for the Sandman. Take a bite out of one of the cookies
>while your roommate is asleep. The next morning, accuse your
>roommate of having bitten one of the cookies. If he/she tries to
>tell you the Sandman did it, insist that you know what the Sandman's
>teeth marks look like and that those are, in fact, not the Sandman's
>teeth marks. Grumble angrily and storm out of the room.

Sorry Hell of a long post, but its just so funny!

Other news: Just revision, getting pics up soon ^-^

--Jay
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