Monday, February 7, 2005

my character is a flirt...
I had a good weekend. Friday LARP was loads of fun, my character ended up being really cool. I made her really powerful but in a social way. Its the first time i've had a social character so it was a bit of a change. My last was a loner. Its way different from who i am, so i had to push myself to socially interact, but i think that made my character more interesting. Since she is so different from me (even though she is based on me...age and whatnot) I am better able to disconnect from me and get into the character. She completely moved into power...she isn't at the top yet, but she is doing pretty well for herself. She already holds a position and is at least equal in power to her maker. So its pretty sweet. I just LOVE this character. She is so much fun. I "seduced" 2 people using my social stats and one ended up becoming prince. So i'm doing fairly well and I'm hoping to get another position other than the one i already have. Which is a social one, called "harpy." Basically i am in charge of social stuff and if anyone offends me they are given a negative social trait. I guess my position is supposed to balance that of the prince. So even though it sounds kind of unimportant, I am able to use it on anyone. So its a good job to have.

I dressed kind of punk to go to Alyssia's, but she made me change... i got the lecture on how i was supposed to be luring people and be a toreador, who is high in social status. So i ended up in a black velvet dress, black tights and white ballet shoes. I spent half the time spinning and saying i was a ballerina...it was fun :) Patrick thought that i looked like a Malkavian with how i was dressed, but i stuck with being a toreador, i really wanted to come in as Alyssia's character's child. So i ended up NOT being a ghoul, but being a full vampire. It amuses me that some people play ghouls for years to get accustomed to LARP but i haven't played a ghoul yet. I have played two characters, both full vampires. Its pretty cool...

Zac was there and i was kind of dumb, but i think my flirting? worked. Sometimes i wish i weren't so socially inept. But i guess i will see how it goes. Unfortunately Patrick knows, so hopefully he won't interfere. He has good intentions...but he is NOT subtle. He told Craig that Alyssia wanted to have his babies...rather weird way to put that she liked him. But he was sweet and didn't say anything (i hope) to Zac. So I'm hoping i see him on tuesday, because since I saw him at Alyssia's he has been walking with her to class. And staying to talk to me. I'm encouraged.

Ryan though, I think i have given up on. He's a good person and I think he's cute, but i don't thinnk we have much in common. He thinks I'm weird. And I doubt I fit his notion of pretty. He's really picky. And he only focuses on the physical. I've been told that i'm pretty (though i don't really believe it...) but I don't want to have to meet some guys standard of beautiful. I want someone to like me for more than that. I don't think Ry is that shallow, but he kind of has a inflated view of his own importance. Like talking to someone makes them special. I don't know it kind of annoys me.

Sooo I'm being dumb and female. But its been a while since i've come across a guy I really like. So I'm going to try with Zac and hope that everything works out... I seriouly love his sense of humor and think he is really cute. I kind of like geeks though, so thats maybe why he is single? At least i have a friend who knows him pretty well, so I can see him sometimes without chasing him :) But i think i am going to go for him...and hope for the best. I tend to make mistakes when it comes to dating, so i'm hoping that this is a good choice. Sorry for going on and on. I'm just being really weird right now.

After LARP on friday, the secretary came home and watched a movie with us. His name is Eric, he's a really nice guy. He is very pretty...and i think he is nice. And no i'm not going to go after him. He is just alot of fun to hang out with and has a good sense of humor. I was kind of afraid Paul and I were smothering him (we had him over two nights in a row) but he seemed cool with it. So hopefully we don't freak him out. Since Paul and I don't really go out much, we tend to latch onto people. Its kind of weird. But when i like a person i show them that i appreciate their company.

I don't know why but i have wanted alot of social interaction lately. So going out and being with people is making me happy. Which is good. I don't want to fall into a depression right now. I am happy because i'm thinking of getting into a relationship, i'm kind of at the hopeful stage. But i don't want to mess it up and become this weeping mess that nobody likes. I was like that for awhile after Ian and I broke up. It was really stupid, but i felt really betrayed. *sigh* And nobody really talked to me for a couple of weeks so I felt like i had the plague or something. And then i started to build another network of friends though most of them i don't see anymore. I hate the fact that i go through these stages where people just stop coming to see me and i have to go out and make friends all over again. Its like people are ok with being my friend for a few months but after that they lose interest. Other than Chris, Ally, Jason, Paul, and Alyssia that is basically what happens. Maybe i just choose the wrong people to be friends with...I do the same thing with boyfriends alot so it might be that. I just wish i knew why people don't really care. Its like people LIKE disposable friends. Which I don't. And i try not to push people either so its really weird. Sorry if i sound like i'm whining, but it really bothers me. But i guess i will have to figure it out.. or just live with it.

Well sorry for the long post, this journal has been more about my personal life than anime and i feel bad for annoying people with stuff. :( but i made another amv, its not bad, based off of Yu Yu Hakusho. Mostly it focuses on Kurama. I will post the first chapter of my story after my exams are done (this weekend or next, depending on time)

Thanks everyone :)
jayde
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