Sunday, June 3, 2007

uneventful day of un-action-osity
oh yeah, today was just chock full of me doing absolutely nothing [as opposed to what i wish i could have, a day of writing Absolute Power] sure i played Dragon Quest VIII, but all i did was buff levels, no real action, being as i really can't do anything now but beat the giant bird of death, and that would be so anti-climactic, sort of like when i beat Shining Tears, i really didn't care that i had finished off the Leviathan, i really never cared he existed, now Visage, there was a bad guy, but the behemoth, yeah that was whet he was, not leviathan, when i beat that thingy i really got this sense of "wait, its over?" now the ending with Mao doing everything short of pouncing [which would have been apt, her being a cat-girl, and an appearentlt horny one at that] on Xion and doing him was very entertaining, suggesting they need to kick everyone else out of the self-defense force headquarters so they could have "privacy" and when he turned that down she just said they just need one room together then. i just loved that because Mao always reminded me of Bev, cat-like, air-headed, and a bit amorous. so i felt a connection to that character, even if the game was total crap. but basically i feel that way about Dragon Quest VIII, the characters just same so lame to me, i don't really like or relate to any of them, the closest character i came to like or realte to was Marcello, but he's so abused and raped story wise in the story that he kinda got ruined for me, so i really have no idea why i'm even still playing, to get all the things i want i have to beat the game, and beating the game i don't think will really do anything for me, but i will anyway, who know a miracle could happen at the end and i could see why X-Play gave it a 5 as opposed to a 4, or 3, or 2, or 1, like Shining Tears, which so far its seems most like.

Playing Shining Tears really makes me feel like Playing Tales of Symphonia all over again, so that the expert writing and character design in that game could wash the DQ8 stink off me. i really wish i the ToS anime was out here in the US [it just launched in Japan, or will soon] so i could watch it and become all happy again.

speaking of Anime, distinct lack of it today, its a rare occassion that CN and [as] work together, especially to be assholes like they did today, but i suppose its no big deal, i'm sure this week at school will be pretty laid back, so i can just breeze through it and see Bleach next week, Bleach being my TV-Anime addiction right now, along with Gundam SEED Destiny on DVD alonmg with SuperGALS and Mythical Detective Loki Ragnorok on demand, but really the first two stand out, and being as neither are available to me right now because Rightstuf was out of GSD: DVD 8 and [as] is being a bitch then i suppose the on demand anime it shall be, i'll watch them after i get done posting.

one of the reason i especially want to see Bleach is that i love the intro song, D-Technolife is such a great song! i think its kinda sad that all my favorite songs are in another language and are attached to a niche programming type, but i guess if there is anywhere i can expect acceptance of my MP3 player full of anime themes it'd be on myO, which coincidentally happens to be the sole social networking site i frequent.

GASP!!!!!!
such a suprise huh?

as for drawing, i haven't done any today, i would have a couple hours ago but my living room get intolerably hot for some reason, its 78 in my house, yet i'm hot. yet when i'm in my 80-90 degree school i'm fine, its quite strange. must be something in the air.

but as far the drawing goes i'd really like to thank Yensid-sama for her drawing advice, but sadly i think its in vain, at least for a while. see if you look at my art you see that my art is quite suck-tacular, and really i haven't improved that much, i mean my details are getting better, if i really try on them, as i am in copying the Valkyrie picture, but i still cannot get past my major handycap, that being that i really can't draw much more than, well actually anything than characters facing forwards, i can't do 2/3 perspective and i can only do sideway if the character is made chibi, so yeah, that's a bit of a set-back. as for the proportions, yes i think that is the problem, i really do neec to work on those, i tend to make head a bit big, most of the time on non-my characters, so if you see a person i drew with a big idea you know its not a recurring character of mine. but i will take your advice to heart, being as you are an elder and a wisend sage, i'll try to fix the head so she does not look quite as... poorly drawn, i really do havbe a long ways to go before i can really have any sort of positive feed-back that isn't pity, or visitors to my site broght in by my art.

hopefully i'll pull it off before 2012, or november 8th, when the world ends or Peter explodes, though i don't think i'll be drawing well by then, and i certainly won't be drawing the future.

on that note, 2 things. Peter learned how to draw way too fast.l when he first met Isaac he could only draw stick figures, then all of a sudden by the time Sylar kills Sprague he's uber drawing guy, does Issacs ability come with the power of being a GOOD artist that draws the future?

that and i'm working on an add i have to do for forensics, i need help.

-Quote-



Crazy Sylar’s discount morgue, Private Investigation and Forensic supply emporium,

You best place for all you’re death and crime related needs.

Is he insane?
How did he open that guy’s head?
What is he doing with that brain?
Why are all these supplies melted?
Did you just give me cancer?

Well there is one thing we do know: His prices are low-low, and he’s not normal.

So that’s two…

Crazy Sylar’s Discount emporium:

Are you broken?
He’ll fix you.

-end quote-

any suggestions to improve it?
i could really use a bit, i think its functional now, but i want perfection!

please help.

vist Bev, she updated again!


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Saturday, June 2, 2007

clearity.
well for once my mind is not all clouded and sleepy, this is a very strange feeling to be updating "sober" to compare it, to not be enebriated by sleepiness is quite strange, i don't know if it will make things more or less interesting, or it could have no effect what so ever! who knows, its another strange mystery!

but in any case i'm glad that you guys all came and commented on wednesday's post and hell, a few people even read my story, so at least AP pleases those who read it, i guess what i really need to do is get more people to read it, then again i don't really know what the right amount of self-promotion and pestering is the correct amount to draw in readers without either annoying and driving them away of allowing it to slip under the radar, but i guess that is just something i'll have to experiment on and eventually find the exact amount of hype that is productive to me. but on that note if you want a chapter of AP from 1-22 i'd be happy to send one or more to you, because AP is my babyand my best accomplishment and i'd really like to have a bit more readers and fans. but i guess i'll have to earn them, so if no one wants it, i'll understand.

in other shit i'm trying to do i decided to take my beaner's advice and try copying pictures to improve my drawing abilities, which seems to be helping a little, the current picture i'm drawing looks really good body-wise, i think i'll have to try re-drawing the head, because it looks like total crap, infortunatly i can't find a single part i see as the probelem, so i might end up just doing the whole damn head again, i really hope that isn't needed though, because to have to re-draw all that would be so bothersome. i really hope it will be better than usual, being as its so much more complex than my usual process, and i am trying a lot harder. though really what right do i have to expect my art to be amazing, i've only been drawing for like a year, so the fact that i suck so much less than other people says a lot.

tomorrow i'm going to try to get the components to get my speakers and youtube working again, as well as i have to mow my dad's lawn, so i doubt i'll be doing much gaming tomorrow, which is a bit of letdown to me, but hey, life sucks, the world is fucked up and happiness is a luxury, so if i have to go out and do this, then fine, i mean i'm getting payed anyway, so its not like its torture or anything, i'm just exceptionally whiny, which all of you should probably know that already.

there is one other thing i'd like to say about Dragon Quest VIII, and really most RPGs in general... why are the best weapons only available only AFTER you beat the game!? i hate that, to get the cool stuff you already have to beat the guy you hate and have wanted to kill for 100+ hours, i mean if i already killed God, or the evil bird of darkness, the Seraph or the ancient hero gone bad, and then i get this really cool sword, what the hell am i gonna do with it!? kill more bonus dungeon bosses? why!!?! and how are these dungeons harder? i just killed the guy who united then tore apart the whole world, turned it into two dimensions, or who created are whole universe on his computer, the evil bird that destroyed a whole city, 7 sages and trapped God in eternal darkness, how can some wierd bigfoot thing or some damn dragons be stronger? i loved the way ToS did it, all the bonus stuff, with maybe the exception of going to Hell, was available before you fought the final battle, actually all of it was, because the game restarts when you beat it, that is a great idea. Disgaea does the same thing, except that there is no way that your first time around, unless you are very obsessed, are you going to beat all the bonus dungeons and gotten the best weapons when you fight the Seraph, though i suppose it makes sense, Laharl is the OverLord of the Netherworld and now celestia and probably Earth, so i guess him inslaving the girl from Rhapsody, but still i'd like to get all the cool stuff, and it being pretty normal, to beat the main baddie. the two examples of the worst would be Star Ocean and Dragon Quest. Star Ocean being that every character has two weapons you can only get after you beat the game and then the bonus dungeons, so once i get the awesome sword what am i supposed to di, kill all the monsters in one blow because i'm now stronger than anything in the game? or in Dragon Quest after i kill birdy i can get the components to make the metal-monster killing weapon so i can power level, but who am i supposed to power level to kill? the stupid dragon trials? why? i killed the evil dude, now if i had to defeat the guys who lost to him to prove i was worthy, that'd make sense, but to kill the guys he killed, and for them to be harder than him, thats stupid. i hate when all the cool stuff is hidden away so when you get it its useless. sometimes RPGs really piss me off.

-Quote-

"pf course the cool stuff is only available after the story isover, because that makes SO MUCH sense!"

-Me

visit Beverly


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Friday, June 1, 2007

Absolute Power ch.5
Absolute Power Mission: 5 Enter Sarin! Head of the board: (over Vid-Phone) …And that is why we need you here immediately Mr. Wind! Aveian: Fine I’ll be there immediately. Kit: So you’re leaving so soon, Commander?! Aveian: What can I say, it’s my duty. I’m leaving you in charge while I’m gone, Captain. Allenby: (waving good-bye) Come back soon Aveian!! Aveian shuts the door behind him. Aveian: So sweet, maybe you’re on to something Kit. ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Aveian: So what was I needed for? Head of the board: Commander Wind, Black Vulpine is going broke, we can’t maintain this relationship if we get nothing in return! Aveian: So in other words, you’re saying you need money? Head of the board: Correct, if you want to speak in lamense terms. Aveian: And how do you expect me to get this money? Head of the board: Frankly Commander, I don’t give a damn, but unless you do, we’ll have to terminate this little deal!! Aveian: Fine, if you’re giving me a ultimatum, then I have no choice, I’ll get your money. Head of the board: Well, if you’re going to be so cooperative I’ll give you a little help. (Hands him a disk) on this is the information of a little business partner of ours, deal with him and we’ll fill your order. Aveian: How kind of you. ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Aveian: (on cell phone) Hey, Kit? Kit: (on Vid-phone) Yeah, what’s up man? Aveian: We’ve got orders. We’ve gotta meet up with an “associate” of are little friends at Black Vulpine. We’ll meet in Germany. That’s where he’s supposed to be. I’ll send the coordinates. Kit: Alrighty, see you there in about a day. Allenby: So we’re off to Germany! Kit: I can tell, this is gonna be very interesting. Allenby: You guys seem independent enough, why are you taking orders? Kit: It’s from B.V. (sighs) and we need their suits so for right now we’re not in control. Allenby: Well don’t worry, as long as we’re together everything will be alright! Kit: Allenby… Thanks. Allenby: No prob. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Aveian: (in ship on Vid-phone) Sylven, I smell a rat. Sylven: What, you don’t trust my organization? Aveian: I don’t trust anyone. Sylven: I didn’t trust them either, I was sent here to spy on you and see what you were up to. I think they’re planning something. Aveian: Right now we lack the proper resources to launch a effective coup, so for now we should play along. Sylven: Until when? Aveian: Until we acquire the resources. ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Kit: So Aveian, what’s the plan? What are we doin’ here? Aveian: The guy’s name is “Alrock,” we’re suppose to find and apprehend him, then bring him back to Black Vulpine Headquarters, Kit: Alrock, Alrock, I know I’ve heard that name before. Aveian: I know I remember it too. Kit: Damn, I hate having to work for these bastards. It doesn’t feel right. Aveian: I know, but we have no other choice if we’re going to put up a fight against Domon. Allenby: Well, we at least have to find this guy. What we do with him afterwards is up to us but we should make sure he’s safe first. I’m sure they’re not relying on you alone to do this. Kit: Then it’s settled, let’s go bag us a bounty!! ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// The man: So, do you think they have any idea. Domon: of course not, they’re idiots. The man: Sora, is the new weapon ready? Sora: (Black haired spy) Yes. He’s being held right now. Mercenary 1: What you don’t think we’re strong enough? The man: That’s not it, just worry about your money. Mercenary 2: It doesn’t matter; as long as you keep up on your end of the deal we won’t question your motives. The man: Good, that’s just how I like it! Aveian, you’re in for a surprise. ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// Aveian: This is the place. Kit: Damn it, I know I’ve been here before! Aveian: I know, but we have to keep moving. Weapons drawn, Aveian kicks the door open and he and Kit storm in. Alrock: Hey there Kit! Profile: Marane Alrock Age: Over 50 but he looks 30 Height: 5’ 11” Voice: (Kakashi, Naruto) Body: He’s pretty skinny, but he is also muscular, not really Mr. Universe, just lots of definition and no mass. Clothes: Big puffed out white lab coat, tight black T-shirt, cloth pants, gloves, and shiny ankle high-boots. Face: Ice blue eyes, with always small pupils, blonde hair, slicked back over his ears, its ends about half-way down the back of his neck. His teeth are unnaturally white and he has pronounced canines like two of his creations, he wears little armless glasses half way down his nose. Personality: Marane is very cocky, he is always self assured and calm, he never gets scared and is always smiling, he is also a bit of a pervert, not really out going, just thinks very sexually. Kit: (Eyes turn red) You!!! Alrock: that’s right! Kit rushes up and grabs Alrock by the head ramming him into the cement wall behind him. Kit: You’re the bastard that fucked with me and my sister’s genes!!!! Alrock: Don’t forget Aveian! Kit tightens his grip, blood starts running down Alrock’s head. Alrock: Go ahead kill me, but then you won’t get your reward. Aveian: You know about the deal? Kit, back to normal lets him down. Alrock: What, you think I’m that stupid? I knew that B.V. would betray me just like Negeta did. And to think I made him a new weapon and everything. Aveian: (point’s gun at him) Start talking. Alrock: Negeta came to me and asked me to make another weapon like you, so I did. As did those idiots at B.V. And of course now neither of them are here to help me. Aveian: So where’s this weapon? Voice: ALROCK!!! Alrock: Well, looks like the party is startin’ guess you’ll get to see. Sarin, it’s time to wake up. Profile: Sarin (Sare-In) Age: Unknown Height: 6 foot 3 Voice: (Zechs, Gundam Wing) Body: skinny, thin arms, flat stomach, hard pecs, oh yeah, and two huge black angel wings. Clothes: Albel from Star Ocean, only with no gauntlet and steel claws on both hands. Face: Hair like Sesshomaru, with red eyes and a mask like Juromaru, only with holes instead of slits for air. Personality: you’ll see. A door opens and we see Sarin chained to the ground by his hands and neck. Alrock: Sarin, it’s time to spread your wings! Sarin’s eyes open and he raises his head, he spreads his wings then snaps the chains on his wrists then breaks the one on his neck. Soldiers rush in. Soldiers: Wings?! Sarin flies forward and sinks his claws into the soldiers before they can fire off many shots. Kit: What the hell have you created? Alrock: The perfect weapon, better than you. Very good Sarin, now go back. Sarin: No. Alrock: What?! Sarin: I’m not going to fight for you anymore. Alrock: How dare you! Sarin: You’re too weak to fight for yourself; you need me for that, but I’m not going to be your tool any longer. Alrock: But I created you! Sarin looks over himself. Sarin: Thanks a lot. Kit: This is it; you’re comin with us back to Black Vulpine! Sarin: If you two are working for Black Vulpine then you’re my enemy too. Kit: (Readies his blade) So you wanna end it right here? Sarin: No. I know you two are pilots; I’ll fight you in my Gundam. Kit: First we gotta straiten some stuff up with your creator here. Sarin: NO, we fight now. Kit: Look pal… Aveian: No, I’ll fight him you take care of Alrock. Kit: No way, I’ll take angel-boy here! Aveian: You take Alrock, that’s an order from your superior. Kit: Fine. Aveian: BlackStar awaken! A mobile armor drops from the ship. It has a bottom like the Zeong only jagged like a stealth bomber and with a Sazabi style particle gun instead of the duel beam guns, three clawed hands that when the claws are closed form a triangle large rectangular shoulder armor with pointed ends and a torso and head like the Kampfer minus the horn. The whole suit is black on lighter black. Aveian jumps in. Aveian: What’s up old friend, ready to kick some ass? Sarin: Now it’s my turn. A black Gundam rises up, it has the body of DeathScythe Hell with custom’s forearms and legs. It has huge black angel wings instead of the bat ones and a heat scythe and clawed fingers. Sarin: Reaper Gundam. Sarin’s Gundam initiates the Mobile Trace System. His suit is black with a black angel feather on the chest outlined in white. Sarin: So, are you ready to die. Aveian: I’ve been ready for 12 years now, (shoves throttle forward) but somehow an opportunity hasn’t presented it’s self yet. Kit: Talk Alrock: what’s with the wings? Alrock: What’s with the eyes, fangs and claws? Kit: Those aren’t permanent! Alrock: So he’s an improvement. Kit: And how come you look the same as you did 12 years ago?! Alrock: I made you, I made Sarin. I’m a very good doctor. (Shift to the battle) right now two of my creations are fighting for supremacy, let’s see with one wins. BlackStar rushes at Reaper. Aveian opens the claws and grabs the scythe, yanking it out. Then he aims the beam gun in the other hand at Reapers chest. Aveian: Game over. Sarin: Not yet! Sarin swings the scythe throwing Aveian back. Aveian: Bad move. BlackStar’s shoulders open and reveal missiles as do a pod that slides up on each hip. Aveian fires a huge barrage. Sarin: EEEEERRRRRAAAAAHHHHH!!!!!! Sarin rushes strait through, missiles impacting, armor shredding, Aveian fires the particle gun in the center of the waist, taking out a section of Reapers left shoulder and body. Sarin: Die!! Sarin’s scythe cuts off BlackStar’s right arm. Aveian: Die!!! Aveian fires BlackStar’s left arm tearing off Reaper’s right arm and the scythe. Sarin: I’m not dead yet! Sarin blasts forward and digs his claws into BlackStar, Aveian fires the waist gun into Reaper blowing it’s legs off. Aveian: (panting) Looks like… Sarin: …It’s all over. Both suits fall from the sky. Alrock: A tie; didn’t see that comin’. Kit: Aveian!! Allenby: Aveian!! The two of them run out to his suit. Kit: Aveian! Are you alright dude?! Aveian: (coughs) I could use a smoke. Kit: (whips around) No you don’t!! Alrock stops dead. Alrock: Go ahead; bring me to those fools at Black Vulpine. You know what they have planned. Kit: Yeah, I do. That’s the problem. So… just get out of here. But, if you get captured by Negeta or B.V. I swear I’ll kill you before you have a chance to ruin someone else’s life! Alrock: Roger, come Sarin! Sarin: (rising from his suit) No. Alrock: WHAT?! Sarin: Like I said before, I’m not your tool anymore. I’m living for myself from now on. Deal with your problems yourself. Be a man for once. Alrock: Sarin your mine, my creation, my tool, MINE!!!! Sarin: Not any more. Sarin jumps back into his Gundam; it shudders and rises then flies off. Aveian’s ship flies down, Kit climbs on with Aveian supported on his shoulder followed by Allenby. Kit: Have fun. Aveian: Don’t get caught, or else. Allenby: See ya later Doc! Lines drop and pick BlackStar up. Alrock: Damn, my life sucks. Kit: (lays Aveian down on the couch) You gonna be alright Commander?! Aveian: After all we’ve been through do you really think I’d die now? (Lights one up) Kit: Yeah, we can’t get rid of you so easily! Allenby: So where are we off to next Commander? Aveian: Italy, right after me and my armor recover. Allenby: Right!! Italy it is! Come on Kit!! Allenby grabs his wrist and pulls him off toward the cockpit, Kit looks back at Aveian smiling wide and gives him a thumbs up. Aveian sits up a little and returns the sign then falls back down on to the couch. ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// The man: How did our little plan go? Sora: The plan failed sir. The doctor escaped and his weapon ran off. The man: Is that so? Well, this is quite unfortunate, (looks at Sora) but I think I know a way of getting over the loss. Sora: I think it would be more beneficial to focus on the operation, wouldn’t it? The man: (advancing towards her) Now come on, we can work anytime, let’s play!!! George: I’ve located Kit Sune and Allenby. They are moving towards Italy, the Commander and his Suit are completely inoperable. Allenby is yet to activate her Gundam. I request clearance to pursuit them. The man: (turns around) (sighs) Fine, track them down and defeat him, kill the Commander, save the Captain for me and the girl for Domon. George: (Bows and opens his cape) As you wish leader! Those knaves shall meet defeat in Italy! ///////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////// (Ending music) Sarin: Negeta Zeru, Marane Alrock, Kit Sune, I shall defeat you all and finally be free of all my chains. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ Sylven: (looking up at a unfinished Mobile Suit) Soon Kit, very soon. Ja Ne (Outlaw Star next episode music) Foxxy: So far we’ve seen Kit and Aveian’s Suits and fighting, but what about Allenby? Well you’ll see next time! Aren’t you excited? Well you better be, because I’m not cutting these promos for nothing! Next Episode: Nuns and Roses! You better get ready!
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Wednesday, May 30, 2007

tiredosity.
yep, i'm beat, i walked my dog then mowed the grass and that really cooked me good, i don't think i'm burnt, i just feel like i took too much sun at once, i am gaining a bit of color, but i'm still on the fair side of the spectrum and my body still doesn't take to the sun too well, i don't really burn anymore it seems, and i seem to be gaining color, but still i'm not exactly buddy-buddy with the ole burning ball of radioactive gas. i went to take my normal hot, steamy shower and my body couldn't take the heat, so i of course got out of the steamer.

on the subject of Dragon Quest VIII and all my random ranting and parody of it, i must clear things up. 1. i know that the fandservice girl's name is Jessica, i just choose to refer to her and all the other characters by their description, instead of name because i hate their names, plus i don't really empathize with or like any of the characters, 2. i did not remember Ritsuka's name, but i know the plot of Loveless, i know what the ears mean, i read a few over-views of the series, so i'm pretty well versed in it, i wouldn't be able to discuss it intelligently, but i can casually chat about it and throw in a reference here and there. like Ritsuka ass-raping the hero, because those kinds of jokes are just too fun to pass up. but seriously, a better written character needs to wipe out these characters, i think the Star Ocean 3 crew would do a good job at it, see Maria manipulate the annoying cockney bandit's molecular structure so that his kidneys flow backwards, see Fayt completly obliterate the "Hero" at the atomic level, or Sophia transport them to a dimension of pure and everlasting pain and darkness, no light, just pain, for eternity, hell i wanna see who wins in a fight the evil bird-god of darkness [i'm too lazy to write his name] or Luther, or even better, Bird-Boy vs. Albel the wicked, Crispin Freeman is about to break a metal gauntlet and nodachi off in your ass. hell, lets just keep going on the Square rant. Have Edward Elric send him through the gate and watch those evil black things rip them apart like Wrath, have kimblee blow them up or Scar deconstruct them, let Xemnas lead them into ever-lasting darkness, Let Roxas and Sora Gang-KeyBlade-Bang them, Axel can F-U-C-K-I-N-G K-I-L-L T-H-E-M! Got it memorized?

enough with my bitching, but i am looking for the hidden items [Thanthos Shield, metal King Spear, the non-princess minnie dangerous bustier, so if anyone knows where to get those things i'd appreciate the help.]

but in other news i still think i'm fat, i really just hate my body, i know i'm getting thinner because my waist is thinner, but i weigh more so i think i grew, my pant legs fit better now too, less long. but i still think my chest is fat, plus i have love handles, which sucks because i wanna be curvy! i don't know how my ass is doing, depending on the day i think its better or worse, maybe i'm slacking off or something, even if i think i'm doing more maybe i'm not, or my parents might be be becoming lax or the health, not make me tubby food, it could be we're all to blame, but i'm still going to try my damnedest to get into shape, i want to look good, then all i have to do is learn how to shave my body and i'll be ready to wander around without a shirt on and in shorts, so i can get a tinny bit of pigment across my whole body. at this point if i had the fortitude to shave my legs i'd wear shorts, but i'm not that brave, and i think leg hair looks icky, so i'm keeping the pants on. and if i could get rid of my percieved chest fat [no one else thinks my cfhest is fat] and could find a way to trim that hair i'd be good to go shirtless, there is some sort of hair remover lotion sitting around in my house but i'm afraid to use napalm... i mean nair [from what i've heard near the same thing] so until then i guess i'll just stay emo-y complaining without any plan to fix the problem.

-quote-

"you never go ass to mouth!"

- Dante [i watched Clerks II yesterday]

v1s1t m3h b3an2r


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (11) | Permalink

Monday, May 28, 2007

ass pain.
man, i really wish people would be a bit more courtious, it seems i got 10 visit today and only 3 comments, i just really don't understand why people will visit and not comment, it just makes no sense, if you went through all the trouble of visiting just leave a damn comment, even if its like one sentance long and meaningless SAY SOMETHING! its dsuch a pain in the ass.

but moving on, i'm trying not to bitch about you guys to you guys too much, its just that i really like having nice people on this site to talk to and as of late you guys seem to be giving me the bird so to speak and your single finger salute is not appreciated, when i go to people's sites i always comment, even if all they do talk about is shit i can't realate to, i'll try to find one thing i can talk about and comment on that, if it means reading 3 pages of rants about school and shitty emo bands just so i can say, "yeah, school is a pretty sucky." then okay. yes that little sentance fragment is not the nicest or kindest thing i could do but i think its better than shunning the person.

but i'll once more try to drop it i'll rant more about Dragon Quest VIII. it seems that other people on here have played it, and they like the story. i really can't see that, to me he story seems like the guys at square were hitting the wacky tabaccy when they were writing this. i mean an evil, winged dog impaling the relatives of ancient sages so he can release the evil bird that trapped the good God-Bird in the two-tone realm, and now that the evil bird is out of the sceptre that the court jester stole and used to turn the princess into a horse who now pulls the cart they all seem to live in sorta. and it gets better, now they have a magical ship that became utterly useless after they fail to save God's kid and are then rewarded by getting to change into the dead birdy. well now i have the fanservice girl's lotita/dominatrix outfit, and then dressed as a Streetwalker Version of Chii i went and saw the pope, who didn't get killed by the satanic doberman, but instead by the foster kid of the high priest that the court jester killed, and then even though the aboptee isn't possed by the sceptre, but is actually passionate and strong enough to supress the wand, you still kick his ass and thus set-off the apocolypse. thats as far as i got, but there's more detail i can ranmt about. there is the fact that interactions with secondary characters is almost blue Gender-esque, "ooooh look, a side character! *SPLAT!* he's dead now." seriously, you meet people, get about 15 minutes of backstory, then they die and we're supposed to get all weepy, its really the most convoluted plot ever. its really just more campy and silly, i could say its the "Snakes on a Plane" of RPGs, i'd love to see one of the characters let out a "Thats it! I've had with this mother fucking sceptre and it's mother fucking hosts!" i enjoy it just so i can see what completly random and cliche thing will happen next. the main character has cool powers that no one can explain, he either has amnesia or just not good past to look back on, and if he can't reme,ber his past its a little late now. i swear any other square lead chacter could whoop his ass. Fayt, Sora, Cloud, Roxas, Squall, Yuna, Edward Elric, that neko from Loveless, they could all beat the shit out of this guy [personally i'd want to see the neko force him to help him lose his ears, but thats just me.] i must say that fanservice girl does her job well, but her fanservice attack are just too damn weak, i had fun killing bosses by blowing kisses but now that attack as well as her pelvic thrust move and sexy beam are all for naught in use, thus making the reason i wanted this game a non-factor. and i swear if she doesn't kiss the main character or put out to the horny fallen priest then they really passed up a great scene. thats another thing i like, every question they ask you it doesn't matter how you answer, it really affects nothing story wise, i'd like to see that concept applied to more choose your own adventure books, apathetic story writers.

Bev got back today and we talked briefly before she passed out. i'm pretty tired too so i'll go to sleep soon. first i'm going to reply to PMs and do other interweb things, i got tomorrow to slack off too, maybe finish AP 23.

i watched the hereos finale again, this time glare free, yes i can see Sylar is alive, but i wonder how many other of the questionable chacters are, i really wish Niki would die, i really hate her. and maybe Candice really is hot, instead of fat, we may never know...

feel free to debate Heroes with me, it will gives us something to talk/comment about Peoplezez.

-Quote-

Cockeny British Thug character: one of us has to pull the lever, but thsat guy won't be able to escape.

Me: Let me guess, secondary character.

Random high priest: i will do it.

some main character: But you'll die.

Me: at least they won't have to come up with a story for you anymore.

visit my lover, she's so cute [and stupid] i love her! *glomp*


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday, May 27, 2007

root of the problem
damn, i seem to have misunderstood the problem of my site, its not that people don't come, its that they don't comment, my mappy things says i got 9 visitors, but it seems that only 4 of them commented, which means my comments are down by 33% i'm become less relevent! Oh damn it!

oh well, at least now i can speculate that it is more about the quality of my posts than the clutter on my site, though that is not any more comforting, it'd still be nice to pin down the problem. if it is the posts being uncommentable, then there really is nothing i can do about that because i'll be myself, and post the same way about the same things, so i guess i may eventually drive all my friends away and no one will talk to me and i'll basically become washed up and nothing on here. well that just sounds chipper and fun!

UFC was tonight, all i can say about that was that there were a lot of awesome knock-outs, suprisingly none of them by Chuck Liddel, who got his ass handed to him by a newcomer guy. i still want to see Dana beat the living shit out of Tito, but that will never happen, but i Dana could always offer Tito a shot at Rampage now that he is the champ, i mean if Chuck slaughtered Tito twice, and Rampage beat Chuck twice thay means i will be very happy at the end of a Rampage Tito fight.

i spent all today being lazy and playing video games basically, i'm extremly close to finishing Dragon Quest VIII, i'm just trying to get the blatant fanservice character her lolita dominatrix outfit, being as there is nothing to compliment a fanservice character who fights with a whip in my eyes. i'm pretty suprised that a square enix game had such a weak plot and no real homo-erotism, they really must be slipping at square, of course maybe the lack of boys who seem to like other boys a little more than normal is because everyone in the game is supposedly british, so if they made anyone gay if they're already british it'd just be redundant.

Bev is on a family vacation to lake mead right now, so i've got a lot of down time, as well as a bit of loneliness, but its fine, i can still call her cell and she'll be back some time tomorrow. meanwhile my damn brother is irritating me with his girlfriend, i swear he does things with her just to fuck with me sometimes, of course i'm also very vain and paranoid so i'm sure that plays into things. but the two of them are always disapearing together for large amounts of time, they go into his room for hours supposedly watching TV, they always go out for nights on the town together, and then are all cuddly on the couch together, and while i see nothing wrong with them doing these things it really fills me with passion and ambission, and that irks me a bit, because right now there is really nothing i can do about it. today he was tickling her thigh right infront of me, that was just uncomfortable to watch, i really think that was kinda pushing decency, but then again it gives me fodder for when i can bring Bev over to meet them if bro is pushing it that far i'm sure i'd go a bit further, gotta pay him back in interest, stupid brother, damn hormones, acursed love-freak mind. ay, all these things come together and chain react, causing me to be the bitter whiny bitch that blogs about how much he resents his bother who he really likes. i'm such a messed up and horrible person.

and i bet this post will get very few comments either, i guess i just can't connect with you peoplezez anymore, i won't leave though, i guess i'll just run myself into the groundm until i have no visitors and everyone hates me, because i'm not a quitter, i'd rather ruin myself than quit while i'm ahead, or who knows, i could end up being beloved by the masses like Magnus.

in the mean time, read my posts, maybe read AP, and i guess continue to ignore my requests, its fine, i don't expect things anymore, so every comment or bit of help i get is a miracle to me.

-Quote-

"Tito has to date Jenna Jameson, he has to convince people hre's capable of positive human interaction."

-Me

visit my distant lover. [Reason plays, quite apt]


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!

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Saturday, May 26, 2007

repetition
it seems i sure say the same things a lot, i think its because i don't really like change much, so i guess even in subconcious situations that i don't even have control over i do my best not to let things change.

though i am making progress, i may have passed out on the couch again today but i realized i was doing it, normally i think i can just rest my eyes and stay consious, this time i kept telling myself i'd fall asleep, and to drink some citrusy drink, i just passed out before i could. so hooray for gain a little more mental awareness, who knows, at this rate i could learn how to read thoughts eventually, maybe i should think about going into police work...

i'm one step closer to being Parkman-esque, being as i don't get enough sleep my body is full of cortisal, i think its why i have a bit of love-handles, though to look more like him i'd have to get an impressive turkey neck, i think Lezak could do it better, though if i'm going into school personel there is that cop wgo alread looks like Parkman, hense why i like to think insults towards him, it amuses me. maybe i should keep taunting the kid who called Bev a ho and see if he tries to teleknetically decapitate me.

enough of that, i've made those jokes/references a billion times, i really need to come up with new content, but that would condridict theis posts title, my nature, and mean i'd need to to exert effort, all things i will not most likely do especially being as i'm groggy and not thinking clearly.

well it seems i've pretty much have a stable amount of comments, always around 6 or so, i don't understand why my numbers are so low, though the average blog has 1 reader, so i'm going at 600% but Magnus gets like 32 or so, i mean a slow day for her was 18, that's 3 times my normal amount, and twice the best i did in recent memory, i think its because of all the crap at the begining that i have, i need to add all the links into my marquee, but they won't go in, and it pisses me off, i could try creating a slide show, but that might make my site take longer to load, i really haver no idea what to do. who knows, the clutter could not even be the problem, i could be the fact i at best visit people 3 times a week, or that i continual say the same things, say offensive things, write long posts, or a million other things i probably do wrong, i must be a huge fuck-up. i feel like i should clean out my friends list, but that really wouldn't my site more popular, now would it?

i suppose i'm doomed to metocrity here too, which is strange because i'm ranked 214 out of 550,000. so if the best i can do is 6, and i'm deep into the top 1%, then how little visitation doesa the guy in 100,000th place get? i guess all this worry comes from the fact i'm not extraordinary person as far as popularity goes in high school, so i guess i want to make up for that flaw here. maybre i'm just insecure, or it could be the fact i'm still a bit of a keener, i always want to one-up people, but i'm quickly seeing my limits, i can't seem to get any further, i can't con people into liking me it seems, or i can't edit down content until i'm popular, i seem to be getting further with AP it here, that get people to read it, so maybe what i said before will come true, people will just want to read AP and not care about me, and i guess i don't like that idea either, though i'm stating it like i have a huge amount of AP readers, the truth is i'm just as average there as everywhere else. it seems at times i'm happy to be, or okay with bering unremarkable, but other times i want recognition, maybe in summer when i can update and visit more i might get more friends, but actually i'm picking up everyone already because people now stay blue for 48 hours, so i am basically not missing a dat except satuarday, i miss everyone who updates on saturday, i guess it might be the crap, i'll try to fix the crap.

now i must PM all my HTML savvy friends and ask for help, if you've got some PM, or if you want AP, or to do a request, or trade a request for a link i could create for you, like anyone doesn't know how to make one.

-Quote-

"why does Avril Lavigne have a manga? and why are they playing the backing track to her latest crap song and showeing me the pages of the manga while calling it an anime?"

-self explanitory no?

visit my dumbass, she has new art.


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (4) | Permalink

Friday, May 25, 2007

pwnd.
it appears many people who watch hereos has pwnd me on the fact that Sylar is not dead, because i guess they saw what i did not, i think do to the fact that i have an unfortunate circumstance that my TVs always have glares, and the fact that i like to put the ole closed captioning on to see the horrible misspellings in them , i figured he was not dead because they did zoom in on that manhole for a long time, so i figured he was alive, but i believe i said it looked like he was dead... wait, scratch that i did state it in absolutes, i'd like to say i probably did that to not ruin it for people who were going to watch it on DVR, thus giving them disinformation, but being as i have no recallection of my reasoning at that point i can't give myself that kinda credit. i'm just psyched for the "heroes idol" as i like to call it, were we get to vote on who the newbies to the show will be. i'm hoping to get some people with interesting powers, well more interesting than teleknetic decapitation would be hard to beat, but i think they can do it. in related news the kid who called Bev a whore in 6th hour still looks like Sylar and in forensics we investigated a murder scene in which the skull of the vivtim had been sawed in half laterally and the brain was missing, i'm pretty sure that gave me good ideas about who may have killed him, even better the victim was Danic, the guy who looks and acts like David Tennant, so it appears the face of evil ate the 10 doctors brain, i wonder if Gabriel can integrate a time lord's brain into his, would that mean he could live forever bar accidents?! these questions need to be answered by a gigantic geek, unfortunatly i know none, so i guess i'll keep asking rhetorical questions.

well i've got 4 days of freedom to look forward to, followed by 4 days of school, then a normal week, then 3 half days and i'm out for summer. today the seniors left, and i went to the second showing of POTC:3 and ran into one of my senior friends, well senior i liked talking to, i really have no friends, but thats an entirely different problem, well not really a problem, i enjoy my freedom, i just in hindsight always go "i wish i had friends." i love my self-condridicting nature, i want fangirls but i don't have friends, i want admiration but i hide away and have no social life, i'm really a complex person in that i seem to want everything, yet nothing. i'm so strange, maybe i'll gain followers or fans based of my wierdness, but i doubt it. i just think of it as that its not my destiny, my lot in life to be admired or fawned over.

i look like shit today, it might be because i mowed my dad's lawn in 90 degree heat, i wasn't hot, probably because my head was leaking a gallon or so of sweat, so my hair looks like crap now, beside the fact that i need it trimmed as well, plus i need to sleep more, and maybe i was just in bad lighting, but i really looked like a girl without a make-up that needs it, thats the only way i can describe it. i may need a make-over but unfortunatly i seem to be bad at that, my woredrobe sucks and i need to cut my hair more and figure out what style i want. and the one problem with my shortening school life is that i'm losing my chance at the hive social scene, so i guess i really never will be popular, man i really don't care about this but i bitch about it enough, another fun contridiction of mine, apathetic and whiny.

i guess saturday i will try to fix my hair up a bit, i doubt that will really help my image all that much, but fuck it, i'm still going to try, i just want to love myself more, thats probably the real reason that i'm so obsessed with my looks is that i want to be pretty for myself, because everyone else in the world either loves me unconditionally or is expendible in their admiration.

i need to tan too, i'm pretty palre and it irks me, though Bev likes it because kisses and pen marks will show up better on my fair skin, i guess that sorta adds to my femininity, that i'm fair skinned.

yeah, i'm pretty deep in denile. but i know that Bev loves me, and looking over her picture and thinking of her calmed me during that damn test i had today, so i can safely say that no matter what, Bev's love can save me.

-Quote-

"avoiding fate is part of fate"

- i say that a lot.

visit my saving grace.


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday, May 23, 2007

priorities.
yep once again i have things to bitch about, though if i didn't then it sure would be strange would it not? its pretty much the standard formula for blogs, and especially my blog, to just rant on about things for a page or two, this leaving you guys with things to comment on.

well now i'm worried that my math grade is is going to be below passing, since i've been doing worse at it recently, and i'm pretty sure that this latest string of piss-poor grades has probably driven me below the acceptable level of crappiness, so now i'm worried i might fail the damn marking period, which would be bad because i never flunked a class before, and that would be quite bad. after i get done updating you guys and visiting i'm actually going to study a bit, which is extremly rare for me, i think that if i maybe get my grades up on this upcoming test and work will be wgarunteed a passing grade, right now i have no idea what my grade is, so for all i know i could have a C or B-, i'm just worried, which is quite strange for me, to be worried about passing a class, first time ever actually.

but enough of that, i find it kinda lame to rant about school on here, because you guys don't know any of these people, plus its just boring i think, so i will move on. the "Heroes" season finale was pretty wierd, Sylar died! as did Nathan, and that was very strange, i mean it was kinda subtle before that Isaac's paintings weren't exactly true all the time, being as Simone was supposed to be alive after the bomb, and she obviously wasn't, but to have Nathan and Sylar die like that, well that was sorta over-kill. though i did like Hiro killing Sylar, it was entertaining, though i did prefer his stand-off with him earlier, with Ando pretty much hanging in the balance. i realized that the kid who keeps saying that Bev looks an awful lot like Sylar, which kinda creeps me out because he glares at me a lot, though he is better at math than me, so as Sylar himself once put it "what would i want with YOUR brain?!" today he was licking a push-pop and the tip had come to the point so i called it a "candy shiv" and then made several "candyland oz" jokes.

well the little bet between me and Bev ended last night, almost a week over-due, she had a bit ofg a run-in with a table, and well she didn't want to end it yet. i won't say anymore because those of you who know what me and Bev bet not to do for a month deserve to get this joke on your own.

i'm still pretty edgy about stupid math, but it really pales in comparison in how happy Bev makes me, and i really think that says more about me than anything else could, i really could care less about the rest of my life, as long as i have her i'm happy, so yeah i'm scared about this damned class, but my beloved gets me through it, i can do anything as long as i have her, it'd be nice to be a bit more care-free and less concerned, but in the end i'm not truly freaked about it, i'm not depressed, or afraid, i don't feel dark or helpless as i have in the past, i just feel hyper, jumpy, like a minature dog or something, i just feel like i took some meth, my nerves are reacting a little too much, oh well, being twitchy is a lot better than feeling like you are shrouded in darkness and fear, at least all my destructivly strong emotions are fading away, as far as my obessession with being great, the greatest, now that i know i'm closer to average than i am away from it its a lot better, i'd rather be a big fish in a small pond than being thrown into something too big for me, if i'm destined to mediocrity, like most people are, then i'm fine with that, as long as Bev finds me exceptional i'm fine. i'm still going to put forth effort and try to be better, because a failing grade probably isn't something i should strive for, but hell, if failing some stupid matn class is the worst thing that happens to me then i'm pretty much set as far as personal respect and self-worth goes. i did above average on my ACTs, so i think that even in the worst case this would be a forgivable sin. but beyond that i'm happy, because i have my true love, and in the end, thats all that really matters.

-Quote-

[Sylar holding Ando out a window teleknetically while Hiro stares him down with Kensei's sword]

Sylar: Go ahead, stop time, see if you can do it before i cut your little friend's head off, lets see who can do their little trick first, you or me."

that is why he's hot...
that and the fact he ate Sprague's brain and has radioactive powers.

visit my dumbass.


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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Monday, May 21, 2007

Hindsight.
aaaaaaah, i remember that haircut now that i look over it again, i always used to call it me "Darth Vader hair" now when i look at that pic i hear the imperial march. its nice to know that rveryone thinks i look good, its really flattering that people look at me when i think i look like total shit and say i look good, really makes me feel more confident. i've realized that i don't need much of a cut, just getting rid of the under-hair on the sides, other than that i'm good, my hair looks great if i just tuck the sides behind my ears, so i'm pretty sure my dad can hand that, i have much more confidence in his skills than he does, reall after he cuts it and it grow back a little i look uber-cute! so i think i'll just have him trim it and if it still is not pleasing to me then i'll have a full re-building of my hair. i was kinda joking with myself while i was watching the episodes of "Hereos" in haven't seen [1-7] that i have good enough bangs to rival Peter Petrelli, which means i really need to stand near the cop at my school that looks like Parkman and then i'll be able to read minds! i just love that cop who looks like Parkman, because whenever i see him i just think insults towards him, which i know he can't hear! but it would be pretty funny if he could hear them, though then i'd feel kinda bad for him.

personally i'd love to have Ted Sprague's power, because i'd use it very differently, i'd just create a small ball of energy and then rtush people, i'd call it atomic chidori! man do i have random thoughts... oh well, i guess its all part of being me, and the fact that Bev loves me really for who i am, so the fact that i'm strange isn't all that bad if i get her in exchange for my wierdness.

as for Bev i'm really happy to have her, more than ever. every day i become happier to have bev and i fall deeper and deeper in love with her. and the fact that i'll see her this summer is really making my feelings stronger, i really can't wait to hold her for the first time, to have her in my arms and feel the warmth of her body against mine, to feel her breasts bump up against my chest, to feel her full squishy boods pressed against my body, and most of all i really can't wait to kiss her. that is the thing i think about the most when it comes to seeing her, to finally have my first kiss, to lose my virgin lips to her, and to finally know the gentle touch of a woman, i really don't care how pathetic this makes me sound, because its true, i really want to kiss Bev, and i'm glad that no other came before her. for all my life i've cursed me fate and the fact that girls never seemed to like me, and i never had my first kiss when it was little and cute, i was pissy over the fact that i never had the reluctant love i fantasized about, of some girl chasing me down and giving me kisses wether i wanted them or not. these were the thoughts that i focused on in my life. but now i'm happy, i'm happy that no giorl ever hugged me as more than a friend, that no crush ever recipricated and that the girls i used like mocking and teasing me, i'm glad that Dafina broke my heart and left me in such miserable shape that a certain beaner couldn't help but pity mer, true to comfort me and in the end fall for me. and the one thing i'm damn sure happy about is that no girl kissed me, not Ashley [the fake latina] Jessica [the one o tried to settle for] Cassandra [dumb as a door-knob and touched by as many people] Erin [bi-polar, yet more like a big-brother, and i mean brother.] even Dafina [the person i thought i loved, but now i realize she was the only person i ever had a true crush on.] i'm happy that no one has spoiled my purity, to i can give everything that no one else wanted to her, because she values me, and i want to give myself to her.

she is what i build my future around, all the things i'm afraid of college, jobs, car payments, moving out, none of things matter as long as i have her, because i can go down any path i'm given as long as Bev is with me, if i end up lost in life at sa job i don't like after taking classes i can't use or preparing for a job i can't have, as long as i have Bev to come home to i'm okay then.

and in the near future i dream of her too, i look forward to having her with me at my prom in a year, and i hope to have her at my side when i graduate, and i hope to have her lip-color on my face as i go up on the stage, so that everyone can see the person who gave me the strength to make-it through this school life. plus i won't deny it, i just want to get more kisses from her, but at the same time i want my graduation picture to be me sporting her kisses on my cheek. i mean come on! i want a little congradulation for my graduation, and there is no reward i could desire more than her affection.

visit the one who's lips i desire so much.


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!


Comments (6) | Permalink