Sunday, January 28, 2007

no good title imaginable at this time.
well at this point i'm still in a state where my mind is a bit clouded by lack of sleep. i got a good nights rest last night, but being as i was tired and passed out early last night i'm kinda tired now, which makes concentrating hard, being as my attention is divided between posting and Paranoia agent, even though i really don't like the series very much, its intruiging near the end and i don't believe i've seen this episode before. i think bev would like this series, but she usually falls asleep to early to see it i believe, that will definatly have to be resolved once we are living together, i hope we can just rub off on eachother and meet a happy medium, we both shifting or sleep habits to a point we both can agree on, but then again by that time we will both have jobs, so i suppose that are employment will dictate are sleeping time, no some mushy idealism like we choosing together, i can understand the will to be the last person in the world with your love sometimes, its not because you dislike people, its because life often gets in the way of love, that all the obligations of life, all the things that people must do in society get in the way of the romantic idealisms of hopeless romantics like myself, the world sure seems to cause me a lot of grief, but i'm not some stupid emo whose going to i'm going to change the world, or even that the world needs to change, and i'm sure as hell not going to rush some crowded place with a firearm thinking that that would a positive difference, or even a difference at all. people are stupid, myself included. i need to grow up, and understand the concept of a requirement, an obligation, because i've never done anything i didn't want to, because i never had the will to resist things, for me to wake up in the morning and actually have to go to school when i don't like it, up until now i had no trouble going there, but its so unbearable now, and i know i'll hate college too, and whatever job i get, i'll probably dislike it too.

no, i'm sinking into it, i'm sulking. what i should say is that i can't see the path i want to take, i can't see what road takes me to the future i want, i suppose because i never used to look, and being as so many people i know have already locked themselves into a path, i feel like i'm behind them, its very possible that these people will hate their jobs too, a bunch of pissed off nannies, chefs, welders and Photographers, maybe my tardiness to the occupational selection party will make it so that i am happier with my future employment. but it is quite a predicament, because the two things i want to do require a high level of skill to succeed in either. if i want to become a Voice Actor that means i have to aquire mad acting skills and get discovered, or i could learn bussiness and open an anime store, but in that case i'd have to not only devote my education to bussiness, but invest my future in my small business that if, by some chance target and other large businesses start carrying anime again, will tank, either one is kinda a big risk. but i suppose i do have a bit of time left to worry about those things, i do have time left.

As far as Bev goesw right now she is still on the road, probably coming back from cali, but on the other hand, if it were a one way trip, as opposed to from cali and back its quite possible she could get here, thus fueling my paranoia, i know by now no to trust my crazy random thoughts, but still i half expect see Bev waiting for me everywhere i go in my house. i'm not disapointed when i see she's not there, because i never really trusted that she was, its more of a melacholy, though i doubt that is the correct term, i'm thinking of like a remberence mixed with feeling of laughter and a bit of sorry, sort of like when guys in movies lament something, laugh then take a shot of whisky. sure i wish she was there, and i'm sad she's not, but its not like i'm dying over it, i just laugh a little at my own silliness.
who knows, maybe one of those times she WILL be there.
anything is possible,
if she does show up, i probably won't have much time for posting
i'll be too busy doing other things...

-Quote-

Layla Kaley: The iPhone will come with a 4gig iPod and an internet browser, but you cannot download music via iTunes on the go. also, all third party software is blocked.

Josh: 4gigs!? good, now i can store a fifteenth of my songs on my phone, and even though its a iPod and an internet browser i can't get music on it. and i can't even put my own programs on it, but watch people will state that like a good thing, those Mac guys are like a Cult, "if Steve Jobs doesn't want me to have it, i obviosly shouldn't have it."

...

Guy on "the loop": ...there is a reason why you can't install third party programs, they might make your phone go slower...

yes, so they should hack your phone and delete them for you.
microsoft, make me a ZunePhone.

look, there is Bev's site!


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (4) | Permalink

Saturday, January 27, 2007

energy levels low
yeah, i'm pretty low on the energy, being as Bev was really sad last night, i ended staying up pretty late making her feel better. it was worth it, don't get me wrong, but it took the energy out of me. so yeah, i'm running on empty at this point.
i'll probably go to sleep after writing this, the phone will wake me up when Bev calls.
i usually stay up later these days, but i'm way too tired, plus its usually to watch shows that are not on this season, or to write AP, but i wrote 4 pages today already, and i need rest to get rid of the dark circles under my eyes. my dad wants to take me to some building show tomorrow, that i really have no interest in, but its an excuse to walk around on a day i'm at my dad's house and burn calories. i'd like to stay home and finish my homework, or play Shining Tears, but i'm trying to be a nice guy. then sunday there is a WWE show, my father thinks that somehow Mr.ASS and Road Dogg are going to crash the show and that some how that egotistical old shit Vincent Kennedy MacMahon would allow his show to be crashed, my brother was right when he said that if they showed up they're kill all the cameras pointing towards that part of the arena, if the crowd chanted for them they'd cut the crowd mics, and if that didn't work they'd just shut off the whole feed and cite technical difficulties, vince is to old, crotchedy and cunning to let his PPV to get crashed.

but thats all unimportantl. yeah, right now Bev is in Cali at a party, but i'm so tired and delerious i think that she could be coming here, hell, i keep thinking i hear her. i'm so damn paranoid, but at least this time i'm paranoid in a good way, i think people are stalking me i wanna be stalked by, i guess that's more of a dilusion of granduer, but either way i'm not exactly playing with a full deck.
hell, if Bev showed up ya know i'd be happy, but its pretty much impossible, but that won't stop me from dreaming.

as far as my future goes, yeah, i realize i have time to think about it, but i'm still worried about it, i realize i could get a lot of jobs i could do, and probably get payed well at, i'm intelligent enough, but i'd like to find a job that i have an interest in too, hence the wish to be a Voice Actor, or to work at an anime store, i want to do something i'm passionate about, but my passions seem to lie in the improbable, i'm sure if i did aim for ONE, i could achieve it, but i don't know if i could lock onto one, and then if i did, and that plan fails, well then i'll end up like my brother, working 14 hours a day as the manager of kinkos, he being the only useful employee in his store. and i realize that being a voice actor isn't a great fincial plan, hense, along with the fact i have no formal acting training and no liking for stage acting, my mania sprouts from. i realize i cpould survive, but i want to live, i want to take joy in my work. but i suppose that is luxury, and i already have a great luxury in my beloved, so i suppose no matter hoew soul sucking my future occupation is i'll be happy when i get home.

half the people tell me not to limit myself, that i have plenty of time, others tell me that if i didn't realize my life goal 3 years ago i'm doomed to wander listlessly through life with no happiness, goal or direction. yeah, junior year sucks, i bet senior year is even better.

oh well, i got over my future shock for the moment, maybe its just that i'm engrossed in time wasters, so i keep my mind off it.
either way i'm good right now.
i've got Bev
and as long as i have her i'll be happy
and if its up to her, i'll be happy forever.

-Quote-

Tarnowski: [my math teacher] these PCs are always breaking, macs never break.

Me: Yeah, but my PC can right-click.

T: My Mac can right click.

Me: yeah, if you hold "control" then left click.

T: no, the mouse has two buttons.

Me: you mean Steve jobs can spare the extra button, so no more laptops with 4 square-foot left click buttons?

T: at least you don't have to update all your software with a Mac.

Me: yeah, just reboot into OS1 so you can use Apple-Type, then reboot into OS6 for the picture editing, reboot to OS3 for video editting, yeah thats so much esier than installing updates then just opening any program you want.

T: yeah, but microsoft ripped of apple when they created DOS, and it was terrible.

Me: yes, but i don't have to reboot to DOS so i can make a spread sheet.

STEVE JOBS CAN BLOW ME, I'M BUYING A ZUNE!

*Steve jobs may not actually blow me, there is only one person allowed to do that, and its not him."

look it's Bev
visit her!


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!
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Wednesday, January 24, 2007

What is my life?
yeah. stuff is just confusing now, i seem to have so much termoil in my life at this point, i'm thinking an amount [probably a lot] of it is my fault in one way or another, but it doesn't make anything less stressful.

As far as teachers go i think i'm stuck with my flaming hippy teacher and a person i dislike deeply from my past. all of Lezak's classes are full, so even if i could change teachers [which my parents are actually running my consuleor down to doing] i couldn't get his class. now someone came into Grimm's class and said they have Lezak, they hate hi and they want her class, now if i could trade with him i'd be set, my mom still hasn't thrown her hat in, so maybe she can set that up for me. if not i've basically resolved myself to the fact that i have two teachers i'd rather not have. and as far as Weiss goes, she's the only one who teaches that class, and i don't really know any other classes that i'd like to take, so in the end i think i'll just have to ride it all out. i wanted American Wars, but i guess not enough other people did because the class wasn't available, like even being taught this year, which is pretty lame, being as i really wanted that class.

Then there is what i constantly fear and think about, my proffessional future, or lack there of. being as my dream job is to be a Voice Actor, most likely i'm going to hacve to find something i can drudge about doing while i'm waiting to get roles, and most likely to retire from without getting a single role. its my unfortunate lot in life to choose a vocation which hard to get, much competed for, and has no career specific class, i mean i can take drama, i can go to U of M and major in drama, and then i can use some of those skills to try to get a job as "nameless soldier 3,267,453" and probably get turned down in favor of that guy who does Shinn's voice on Gundam SEED Destiny. but on the other hand if i was interested in auto-mechanics, i could take auto-shop I and II, welding, collision repair, auto-body design, automotive custimazation, or about 20 other Vo-Tech classes, same with most other vocations, but there is no voice acting class, not even a drama spin off like emoting, nope, just straight-up drama. i mean i'd take drama anyway, but i want a funnel like all the mechanics and chefs and scientists get, i want a class that prepares my exactly to do voice work and nothing else, 3-hours a day, full year of emoting and talking with the lip movements of the characters on-screen. now maybe, just MAYBE some preforming arts college might have a class like that, and in that case i might actually have a shot at someday becoming VA, but i realize that its a crazy goal and i'm setting myswelf up for a big downfall.

and this fact would be easy to deal with if i had one thing, a job to fall back on, but there is nothing. if media play or suncoast still existed i'd love to work there, but they don't. i could work at FYE, but i hate that place, they sell no anime and when they do it's available for 2 days then sold on clearance, now i suppose, as my dad tried to convince me of, that if i got high enough up i could turn t5hat store into a media play like place, but for me to do that i'd have to one get that far up in the ranks, which is only slightly more likely than becoming a Voice Actor, and even if i did get a high level control position, i'd have to get people to realize that my store HAS Anime, and that'd take a long while, and would probably get me fired or demoted before it caught on and worked, so that plan is all for shit. it'd be nice to work at one of the import stores in Ann Arbor [near all the cooleges] but most of those stores are owned by assholes and run by their shiftless moron spawn, so that kinda rules me out, and i think that if i worked there, i doubt i'd get payed well, and there really isn't much room for improvement in there, unless the guy sells the place to me, and then i'd be in debt and tied to the store, which isn't a nice future either. it seems as if everything i'm interested in is a terrible idea to be interested in proffessionally. so as far as i see it i'm fucked.

Dafina showed up to see how the school was doing, she recoognized me at first sight so that kinda threw off my whole "she didn't remember me, she was using me!" rant, i guess she just i don't know, lost contact with me. she never gets on AIMS, she never calls me or e-mails me, and she's moving out of state, so i guess she will just become a fond memory, which is fine, i've got enough shit in my head to cause me strife, i don't need one more.

so there is all my miseries, sure got a lot.
oh, and the reason i don't talk to Bev earlier is that the cell phone doesn't have good anytime minutes, all night and weekends, so i have to call her at 9 or later, which is fine, i like going to bed with her voice fresh in my mind.

-Quote-

Me: Well, i know i wanna bbe a voice actor, and i know i wanna work at ADV, now all i have to do is get acting talent and get hired, and luckily that is the easiest part.

sarcasm is fun kids.


"QUOTE!!! FOR BEV!!!"
Hehehe Hack on to my bf count again...cus i can! Muhahahahaha
I like turkeys!!!

hehehe tell me people is the saying
"CHEWY CHEWY CHEWY"
annoying..JD thinks it's anonnying
AY!
hehehe
I like doggies!
people look funny....I like monster! IT'S BLUE!!!!!
hehehe
I like being nuts!
see ya!
visit Bev.


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (6) | Permalink

Monday, January 22, 2007

Bad turn.
Yeah, i haven't really been having a good chain of events as of late. i mean its not like i'm livin in hell or something, just that things have gone a bit down hill.

first off i got my hair cut, last time it looked really good, but this time i really don't like it, its too short, and being as i take great pride in my hair, having it screwed up kinda makes me feel uncomfortable and messes with my confidence. of course its not like my hair would shrink on its own, so i guess i have to get it cut if it's ever going to look good again or not. i know that i should stop having my faher cut my hair, but its just that i don't know a salon to go to, i figure that once Bev gets here [in a few years] that i'll go where she goes, till then i'll keep getting the home cuts, being as i don't have the metro-sense to find a salon i want to go to. plus i know that as soon as i go to a salon i'll be getting manicures and pedicures too, so i really don't want to subject my parents to that, once i'm free and on my own i'll worry about that kinda stuff, besides, if my hair always looked great i wouldn't appreciate it, to have the suspence of "when will my hair look good again?" will teach my to love myself a bit more.

then there is all the fun that school brings to me. first off my cute girly backpack has been semi-broken, but i still used it cuz it looks so adorable, its black with a pink plaid heart, black sparrows, white and black flowers, pink plaid on the zippers and straps, and the two bird are holding a banner that says "love". but now it's broke, so now i have a Gundam SEED messanger-bag, which i'm really not used to, ya know: having a serrated nylon strap digging into my neck, plus its not as cute as my pack, and it doesn't hold as much, so yet another thing that is tearing down my ego.
and, being as its a new marking period i have no teachers, and i've lost all the rooms i felt safe in, Hubbard's, my Myth class, and Lezak's. i miss Lezak, he was my favorite teacher, i've got this new lady who seems nice, but no where as cool as Lezak. and i got Weiss again, my second least favorite teacher of all time [the first one was my band teacher from middle school] i really hope i can get back into Lezak's class, and out of Weiss's, i want public speaking, the class i have Weiss for, i just want a different teacher, i'd even take Gaylord, i just really don't like her. i'm going to try to talk to my consuelor to get the teachers i want, but from what i've heard from Kitty she is not very nice, so i'm afraid for my future. my mother says she's going to talk to her, but i don't know how much good that's going to do, but i guess it's better to try than to not, i could tolerate these classes, but i'd perfer not to have them.

and there is the fact that Bev has been keeping me up, which under other circumstances would be really good, but right now i need sleep, to get rid of the shadows under my eyes, especially now that so many other things are going wrong for me. at best even if it doesn't get rid of the shadows, and i still have those teachers, more sleep will make the time go faster, and that would make things more tolerable.

man, half way through the year and everything goes to shit, of course if i look back to september i'm sure i'd say that last marking period was going to suck, and now i miss it. i guess no matter how much it sucks things will pass by and everything will be okay in the end, when my hair grows back, i get used to my torture-bag, and i either get the teachers i want or abandon all hope and just accept my horrible fate.

-Quote-

"Weiss, the only teacher who could make me miss Gaylord"

-Me



HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!
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Sunday, January 21, 2007

Favor.
well Bev is really sleepy, and she wants me to go to sleep with her, so when she calls back and wants me to go with her i'll cut off the post, so in all chances this post will be shorter than a normal one of my posts.

Damn, i feel fat. i think that i'm eating better and exercising more, but its not like i'm doing the best at either, i mean i'm trying to do both better, eat better, exercise more, but i really was doing a terrible job before, so even an improvement isn't exactly going to mean that i lose weight, i could just gain less or gain it slower. but i guess that its still a benefit, i won't be AS fat, and i have put my foot in the door and started the process to get in better shape, so i guess everything i do helps, and just as i started this i will work harder, and get in better shape.
to look at it optimistically helps i guess, i mean i'm like 5'9, 158. i guess i have no muscle mass, being as i have this amount of fat and only weigh 8 pounds over like uber-skinny, but i guess everyone thinks they're fatter than they are, bet i look fine, in fact most people say i look great, so i guess i'm just over-reacting to my own slight bit of weight, i just have to put forth a little more effort.

i didn't really do anything important today, so it kinda makes it easier to go with the shortened post idea, beingas i have nothing really to talk about.

Bev already called me, but she wants to talk so i can keep typing, its really nice to do this, being as its what i wanna do in the future, updated while Bev is right there with me waiting for me. that will be really nice, and even if its far off it gives me hope for the future when i'll be with her, and i'm pretty sure she'd be able to get me to leave and stop posting to go to bed with her a lot easier, and i know i'd go to bed a lot happier with her in my arms, to help me float off into a nice happy lovey-dovey sleep.

well Bev is making we wanna go to sleep now, so i wanna make her happy, and help her go to bed happy, i hope you guys like my uber-sweet post, and are happy for the shorter post.

tomorrow i've got a pay-per view to go to, so i'll be home all day, i plan to work out a little and try to write some of AP, since i've been slacking off. but hey, if i don't, oh well life is a bitch some times.

-Quote-

Sosuke: those rugby balls are the closest things you'll ever have to girlfriends, so just pretent they are [wet] [cunts] and [fuck] then hard!

visit my lover please, okay?


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (9) | Permalink

Saturday, January 20, 2007

Next Post
Well finals are finally over, i don't think i did that great in my math one, but then again math isn't really my subject. its curved anyway, and only worth 12% of the end grade, so i have good chance of staying in the B range. its just good to have all that crap over with, its the whole fear of the unknown that makes it truely bad to deal with, with it all gone i can get on with my life.

like watch Fumoffu, damn was that a great Anime! i must admit that even if Greg Ayres has an irritating voice, Shinji Kazuma is a good character, i mean he is the Kira Yamato of Perverts. i like that Vic Mignogna does the voice of the pony-rapist, seriously... Kurtz and the Pony-Rapist? Vic obviously likes voicing the guys who get action. And on top of that Greg Ayres, Luci Christiansan and Chris Patton are probably the coolest voice actors ever. i mean i still idolize Christian Freeman, but i'd wanna work with those 3, they are constantly breaking the 4th wall in the series they voice, and its always great! sure i still doubt i have the talent or chance to become a VA, but if i did i'd wanna work for ADV.
but possibly the best part about Fumoffu was that is was chalked full of adult humor, dear God have i not laughed at such terrible things in a long time, it was as offensive as Puni Puni Poemy, yet good! its like Excel Saga, FLCL, and NDB's all roled into one. Sosuke's drill instructing of the rugby team brought some of the most horribly offensive things i've ever heard, but i was laughing my ass off! Shinji going into PANTY mode [i wonder if that is an acronym like SEED] then running face first into Sagara's crotch, i was just sad Kurtz was only in one episode, course it was a great one! and Tessa sure gets annoying after a while, now i understand the meaning of "you're cute when you're quiet" her sneaking into Sosuke's bed was so cute, but damn does her speech grind on you sometimes. then the last half of last episode with Mizuki glomping Tsubaki and trying to kiss him while he's trying to fight Sosuke, then when he gets knocked down she pounces on him, it was so cute, especially when the "biological weapon" ate their clothes, he was all blushy trying to escape her naked glomp of love, i must say that is the best end of a character ever, better then Duo almost choking to death on Tea, then doing junk work in white gloves, or Excel drowning in blood, Tsubaki went out in the cutest ending ever!
as you can tell i suggest this anime to anyone who hasn't seen it, though judging by my comments that's all of no one... but it is great, its supplying me with plenty of quotes!

i realize i live my life by the distance between Gundam SEED Destiny episodes, DVD releases, paychecks, and when i will FINALLY see Bev, of course the first two are a lot more common, so i usually judge by that.

As fir Bev, we had an uber-cute talk today. i made her cry again when i told her this silly meaningless phrase she said was kinda annoyed, but we worked it out that everything time she says something annoying she has to kiss me, ya know, like a swear jar. well she likes it, cuz know she can say whatever the hell she wants, cuz all she has to do is kiss me, which she wants to do anyway, and i'm happy cuz i like getting my kisses, even if its only sound right now, we both can imagine the future, and we both will like it it when i'm wearing marks of her gloss all over my face from the dumb-ish things she says.
she wanted to give up saying her dumbass phrases, but i convinced her that she shouldn't give up and change for me, just do what she always does when i say i don't like something say "too bad, cuz i'm going to MAKE you like it" which she is doing, she is such a great girlfriend!
yep, and as you can see from the link above she is so hot too! its nice to know you can fall in love with a person for their personality, just to find out the are really hot and have a great body too, i was going to say it kinda fucks up the whole idea of equivilency, but fuck that, i've suffered a lot, i deserve the perfect girl, if thats all i get.
but hell, i'm happy so what do i care?

-Quote-

the series self-censors, but i will try to fill in the blanks

Rugby Player: You [Fuckers] are nastier than a [Whore's] [Underwear]!!!

yeah, that's nasty!

visit Bev, read AP, and yes, the links are your's to keep, feel free to put them on your site!


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (6) | Permalink

Wednesday, January 17, 2007

Half days give me more time to do nothing.
yep, i got of school early due to finals, but don't expect me to do anything with my life because of it. just going to sit around and write more of AP, hoping i can get more readers, possibly by constantly plugging it on my site, being as i do seem to have more Peoplezez than AP readers, the conversion rate on that isn't very good.

but in any case my damn brother has gotten me to now watch Doctor Who whenever i get the chance, i guess i'm really impressionable, being as i've watched EVA because of my brother, now i'm into Doctor Who, my dad got me interested in House, and Bev has gotten me into viewing various random yaoi type things, and some Shounen Ai like Gravi. i'm even getting into the super-gore movies like Saw, which i plan to watch when i either get my own time and video-rental card, or if they ever put one of the movies on demand. the fourth one is already in the making. i feel like i'm left behind. just chalk it up to my inferiority complex, because bev likes the movie so much, so as soon as she likes something it makes me want to see it so bad. to tell you the truth i really have no liking for horror movies, but because of my girlfriend...
man i'm messed up in the head. i have no idea what posses me to act or think the way i do, i feel as if i'm insane, but then again, for all i know i'm normal. it could be completly and utterly average to want to see everything your girl likes, that if she gives it a good review its a burning passion in your heart to see it, that seems normal enough, which wouldn't suprise me, to know that it is, that it is no big feat, to will to see what they like no matter what, i could see that being common. but appearently Beverly doesn't think that its normal, so i'm lucky, if she loves me for a common normal thing.
i suppose i could stop being lazy, and get a blockbuster card or something, but even then i'd have to wait a year, till i'm legal to rent the Saw trilogy, course by then it will be the Saw Quadrilogy, and Bev will have probably be fed up with it, or if i brought it up that i watched them all it would be even more exceedingly average, like "wow, you watched the movies i liked 4 years after the came out, how sweet!"
i guess i just gotta go with it, things will happen eventually i guess, but i know my father would never wanna watch those movies, and my mom never rents videos so there is no parental assistance in this stupid little plan of mine.
damn the more i think about it the more i wish i could do it, i just want to be close to her so bad, and i feel like i'm so close to doing that if i could just watch these damn movies. i feel like i have to, that i need to do this, to see these films she likes so much.
i've gotta figure out a way to do it.
i think i just did, but my plan will take a while. oh well, good things come to those who wait. i mean look at how long me and my love have been together without meeting in person.

well lets see what else i can cram into this little post. well i plan to watch all of FMP Fumoffu, sort of a end-of-the-semester blowout celebration. i hope to enjoy said series, i was told of a scene involving Greg Ayres' character [Shinji] and being as the music designer for the series was the same one from Gundam SEED i have feeling it might be better than the person described it to me to be.

i'm still waiting to get my Pilot Candidate DVDs, i really want to see the whole of that series as well. i have to order Destiny DVDs 6 and 7, being as 6 is about out and 7 seems to be coming faster than usual, so that will be nice.
[wow a small Anime based paragraph on an Anime based blog]

-Quote-

Josh: no one likes Macs except Graphic designers

[hours later]

Me: Bev, would you ever use a Mac?

Bev: Hell no! The suck!

Me: Yes!

read AP and visit Bev


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!
Comments (14) | Permalink

Monday, January 15, 2007

The roof, the roof, the roof is on fire!
oh hell yeah! i'm back bitches, not that i ever leave for any length of time [because lets face it, i don't really have that much to do...] but here i am again.
the title comes from the fact while and my bro and father were watching TNA: Final Resolution, we decided to light the fire place, and once our dad went outside, me and my bro decided to tear up like 10 newspapers and but them in the fire, which, upon their ignition, made flames so hot the hurt my legs from about 3 feet away from the fire-place, and so big that embers launched out of the chimmney. and while it was a massive ice-storm outside, the chimney was slightly below human skin tempreture. so yeah, we had fun. we also burned the molding around the fireplace from the inside out. we had fun.

now on to the next subject, why do i call Bev a beaner? i call her a beaner because i feel like it. because i'm so sick of hearing people bitch about racism that i decided to make one of the pet-names i call her beaner. she calls me a cracker, and hell, if she were a bit smarter, and called me a mic or a paddy, i'd be fine with her. if she were italian, i'd call her a whop, if i were british i'd let her call me limey. if she were german i'd call her a kraut, if i were jewish i'd let her call me a kike. and GASP! the most evil of all words [if you are of caucasian decent[ if either of us were of african decent, we'll there would be so many "niggers" uttered that even fiddy cent would go "DAMN MOTHERFUCKER!!! CALM THE FUCK DOWN!" i love Carlos Mencia, because he is so refreshingly politically incorrect. the only racism i hate is the whole "affirmative action" effect, the effect of white people have been in power so long, lets let ever percieved minority fuck them up the ass for the mythical sins of their forefathers. i am so happy that that little bit of bullshit legislation has been revoked here in michigan, hell it has been in cali for a long time, and its not exactly a white's only state. i'm glad that at this point, society won't be fucking me over quite so much. i could still be jumped and beaten by four black dudes and thewy might get probation, but if i say, choked one of those punks till he passed out, then it'd be a hate crime, because he's black. yes i hated him, he jumped me and beat my ass, so i strangled him, now where does the blackness come in again. all crimes are essentially hate crimes, you don't kill a guy with a claw hammer cause you love him. the world sucks to be any race, because everybody wants to call racism every five minutes. and the fact that people listen. the fact that for a while, because people claimed "they didn't hire me because i'm black." that jobs had to hire people of every minority decent, no matter their qualification, that is wrong. or the fact that i got threatened as a middle-schooler by two black kids, that if i didn't stop axcting like a wigger [damn was i jamie kennedy back then] that they'd kick my ass. they told me, "this is our culture! those are our words, you can't use them!" so a few days later i find myself in the vice-pricipals office, being accused of being racist. see we had all filed grievances, and from page one of mine i said that they were driscriminating against me for my race, saying that i couldn't talk a certain way because i was white, that was my whole paper. yet when i got in there i was interigated and intimidated like i was already guilty, and i can tell by the two other kid's holier-than-thou looks at me when they came out he was not grilling them. and then all of us talked to the vice-principal, a black lady, and the concilor a cracker [cracker being anyone who is amazingly white, the "nigger" of white people] and i was told, when i stated my arguement about them saying i couldn't do certain things because i'm white, they said "why didn't you put that in your report." i said i did, so they looked and said "oh yeah, you did" then went back to grilling me.
yep, so that got me pretty pissed off, so at this point i'm sick of all this civil rights, affirmitive action, politically correct, racist bullshit! racism isn't caused by guys in ghost costumes with logs and gasoline, its caused by having a month devoted to praising one race, and a bunch of token accomplishments. i'm sorry butinventing hairspray should not pre-empt the american civil war. and all that shit about "the other 11 monthes are white history month" is also crap. in my books they pointed out every insignificant thing any minority did. "look a muslim painted this picture!" those kind of race plugs should negate a racist month. and if they are going to have on race month, everyone should get one, Bev gets hispanic history month, we need that up here, i want Irish history month, because irish people did a lot off near slave work, and along with italians, being ther other catholic europeans, built most of new england while being trated like shit. chinese people built the railroads, we need asian history month, jews: have had probably the worst history as a race, they definatly need a month, as do muslims. and i want a just straight white history month, have all the lessons written by trent lott, if one race gets favored, they all do. fuck learning anything meaningful in school, just all race classes.

OR
we could cut all the bullshit and just eliminate the damn racist month. make everyone equal, and get everyone to stop wielding race like a criminal justice excalibar.

on the day that we celebrate a guy most people have no idea about, i will channel his words a bit into my own.

-Quote-

i have a dream
that the in the days of my children
when me, a self-hating caucasian and my beloved beaner lover, can what my children play with other children of indiscriminate race,
and all will be good and fair
because if some ignorant motherfucker, even dreams of daring to pull the race card, that a person will stare them dead in they eyes and say "SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU IGNORANT BASTARD! we all suffer in life, believe me, if this is how you solve your problems, there is a lot more to hate you for than your race.

[end quote]

i'd just like to say, that i hate pulling race, and i only do when its pulled on me. i'd love a world were everyone is equal, because i'm sick of division because of stupid thing. we should caudle people based off their race [including myself] we should tell them to man up and face fate.
but until then,, i guess i'll still be ranting,
not that it does any good.

here's my lover's site, go visit her.


HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!

p.s. i didn't have this rant planned, it just happened. some shit has happened to provoke it, sorry if i went over the edge.
Comments (11) | Permalink

Sunday, January 14, 2007

Momentary techical failure.
well i messed up a bit of HTML, so yesterday instead of having a revolving line of links to my readers, my whole post and site was in marquee, but that's all fixed so here's that post, enjoy!

yep, yet another post from the master of the steadily ebbing blog here on the otaku, it seems like i'm getting less and less visits, and i think that is because i never really have a lot of unique visitors, i have a very selective group of fans, and as they leave otaku, i have less followers, thus less comments, and me feeling inferior to all my friends.

but enough of that, time for the same type of stuff i usually rant on about. first up, an old favorite: my art. yes i'm still attempting to draw, i think i'm getting better, but then again with how bad i am getting better isn't really hard, i mean if you go from killing every civilian in the airport and missing the terrorist to grazing the terrorist and leaving one retarded midget alive, you have now improved. yes, so i'm still forcing myself to fail in my artistic indeavors on every chance i can get, though the experience hasn't made me even a remotely good artist. i mean i have plenty of good ideas, the execution is just suck-tastical as ever. i think one day i'll be good enough that i will get fans coming to me like Bev does, but until then i'll just keep raiding her guest book and hoping i can ciphon off some fans from her. hell if i can just replace all the drop outs i'll be good. i think that may be attainable.

then we have AP, my little story very few people read, you can visit those people that do read it via the the links at the top, including one of my Uber-sexy Beverly, being as she is my biggest fan, and i am her's. but in any case my lover/editor finished ch.20, so all one of you, actually two who are that far pm me if you want it now. as for the rest of you, please read my story, between this, my art and Otaku i kind of have a psuedo-important life. see i have all these obligations to things that don't matter, i stay loyal to a blog a dozen people read [to all my readers, i love yaz, i just wish there were more of you -^_^-] a story very few read, and art only my lover looks at, i'm going to try to get Bev to upload some of my art onto my art for me, so i can maybe attract some people who actually think i'm good, not thar i think those exist anywhere. And as far as AP goes i'm sure if i had more exposure that people would like and read it, but being as most of the sites for such things are filled with massive dicks and flamers that whole plan never worked. maybe if i stay around long enough i might get famous and thus have fans, but as of late i'm basically stuck in like the top 200's, and who the hell cares about the guy in 265th place?

But enough of my bitching, on to my review and discussion of Gundam SEED Destiny, as i do every time i see a new episode. i realize people have seen the whole series in the original audio and thus are experts and tell me i will not like the series, i am really enjoying it so far, plus i can feel assured that as far as dub-watchers go, i'm one of the first to see each episode, so i'm kinda special. but in any case i enjoyed this last episode, ep.22. though the ending was kinda cheap, the minerva's particle cannon getting shot out and... HOLY FUCK ITS THE FREEDOM!!!!!!! Kira looks all cool and Athrun looks all moody, then... life goes on... and i'm like, "oh damnit!" yep, so it'll be like 2 weeks till i see the next episode, which is both good and bad, makes me love the series more, but also means i have to wait a long time to see Kira kick ass and get all Kira again. i must say that now i know i don't like Heine's VA his voice actually sounds okay, i'm used to it and it kinda suits him. i just wish he still had his Blaze Zaku Phantom, i mean the GOUF is cool in all, but those SEED Zakus are just so cool, and as much as it pains me i do like the over-used Blaze pack the most, i mean it has missles and big ass boosters! so i'm pissed Hiene gets a GOUF before Yzak-Sama! Yzak is SO much cooler than HY-NAH VEST-IN-FLOOZ [yes, after phonetically spelling his voice i did say it as a Dalek] and where are Yzak and Dearka, they just went POOF! maybe they slipped off on R&R to some romantic retreat for some alone time and adult activities, Dearka x Yzak *drool* [there is nothing wrong with that, or me, any of you have to admit the are a hot couple!] most of all i'm just impacient for two things Kira to lose to Shinn [that is such Bullshit! Kira wouldn't go down that easy, he wouldn't have tried to block an attack like that] and Yuna to get punched out by Cagalli, ai also saw Meer's final fate, and upon seeing that, there is no way i could be disapointed in the end of Destiny, that made it all worth it!
i just wanna see more of Luna, she is still my favorite character on there, Kira is a close second.
there better be more Luna!

and as for how it is going with Bev? well her damn beaner ass keeps keeping me up until way early in the morning on school days. *sighs* aye, damn loveable beaner. oh well, it will be really nice when i can cuddle her, when sleep and bonding with my love aren't different activities.
till then i'll be loved and sleepy,
rather than well rested and lonely, after all she really is my meaning to get up in the morning.

-quote-

you want gay Daleks
you get gay Daleks.

Dalek: Look at that PA-THET-IC IN-FER-I-OR BE-ING!

Dalek: His pant TO-TALLY clash with his SHIRT!

Dalek: EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

Dalek: EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

*kills him*

Dalek: I want to REC-TALLY VI-O-LATE YOU!

Dalek: I WANT YOUR HOT DA-LEK PLUNGER IN MY ASS!

Dalek: FORN-I-CATE!

Dalek: FORN-I-CATE!

*after they finish*

Dalek: That was HOT!

Dalek: I Quite enjoyed that SOD-OMY!



HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!
Comments (12) | Permalink

Saturday, January 13, 2007

See JD rant.
yep, yet another post from the master of the steadily ebbing blog here on the otaku, it seems like i'm getting less and less visits, and i think that is because i never really have a lot of unique visitors, i have a very selective group of fans, and as they leave otaku, i have less followers, thus less comments, and me feeling inferior to all my friends.

but enough of that, time for the same type of stuff i usually rant on about. first up, an old favorite: my art. yes i'm still attempting to draw, i think i'm getting better, but then again with how bad i am getting better isn't really hard, i mean if you go from killing every civilian in the airport and missing the terrorist to grazing the terrorist and leaving one retarded midget alive, you have now improved. yes, so i'm still forcing myself to fail in my artistic indeavors on every chance i can get, though the experience hasn't made me even a remotely good artist. i mean i have plenty of good ideas, the execution is just suck-tastical as ever. i think one day i'll be good enough that i will get fans coming to me like Bev does, but until then i'll just keep raiding her guest book and hoping i can ciphon off some fans from her. hell if i can just replace all the drop outs i'll be good. i think that may be attainable.

then we have AP, my little story very few people read, you can visit those people that do read it via the the links at the top, including one of my Uber-sexy Beverly, being as she is my biggest fan, and i am her's. but in any case my lover/editor finished ch.20, so all one of you, actually two who are that far pm me if you want it now. as for the rest of you, please read my story, between this, my art and Otaku i kind of have a psuedo-important life. see i have all these obligations to things that don't matter, i stay loyal to a blog a dozen people read [to all my readers, i love yaz, i just wish there were more of you -^_^-] a story very few read, and art only my lover looks at, i'm going to try to get Bev to upload some of my art onto my art for me, so i can maybe attract some people who actually think i'm good, not thar i think those exist anywhere. And as far as AP goes i'm sure if i had more exposure that people would like and read it, but being as most of the sites for such things are filled with massive dicks and flamers that whole plan never worked. maybe if i stay around long enough i might get famous and thus have fans, but as of late i'm basically stuck in like the top 200's, and who the hell cares about the guy in 265th place?

But enough of my bitching, on to my review and discussion of Gundam SEED Destiny, as i do every time i see a new episode. i realize people have seen the whole series in the original audio and thus are experts and tell me i will not like the series, i am really enjoying it so far, plus i can feel assured that as far as dub-watchers go, i'm one of the first to see each episode, so i'm kinda special. but in any case i enjoyed this last episode, ep.22. though the ending was kinda cheap, the minerva's particle cannon getting shot out and... HOLY FUCK ITS THE FREEDOM!!!!!!! Kira looks all cool and Athrun looks all moody, then... life goes on... and i'm like, "oh damnit!" yep, so it'll be like 2 weeks till i see the next episode, which is both good and bad, makes me love the series more, but also means i have to wait a long time to see Kira kick ass and get all Kira again. i must say that now i know i don't like Heine's VA his voice actually sounds okay, i'm used to it and it kinda suits him. i just wish he still had his Blaze Zaku Phantom, i mean the GOUF is cool in all, but those SEED Zakus are just so cool, and as much as it pains me i do like the over-used Blaze pack the most, i mean it has missles and big ass boosters! so i'm pissed Hiene gets a GOUF before Yzak-Sama! Yzak is SO much cooler than HY-NAH VEST-IN-FLOOZ [yes, after phonetically spelling his voice i did say it as a Dalek] and where are Yzak and Dearka, they just went POOF! maybe they slipped off on R&R to some romantic retreat for some alone time and adult activities, Dearka x Yzak *drool* [there is nothing wrong with that, or me, any of you have to admit the are a hot couple!] most of all i'm just impacient for two things Kira to lose to Shinn [that is such Bullshit! Kira wouldn't go down that easy, he wouldn't have tried to block an attack like that] and Yuna to get punched out by Cagalli, ai also saw Meer's final fate, and upon seeing that, there is no way i could be disapointed in the end of Destiny, that made it all worth it!
i just wanna see more of Luna, she is still my favorite character on there, Kira is a close second.
there better be more Luna!

and as for how it is going with Bev? well her damn beaner ass keeps keeping me up until way early in the morning on school days. *sighs* aye, damn loveable beaner. oh well, it will be really nice when i can cuddle her, when sleep and bonding with my love aren't different activities.
till then i'll be loved and sleepy,
rather than well rested and lonely, after all she really is my meaning to get up in the morning.

-quote-

you want gay Daleks
you get gay Daleks.

Dalek: Look at that PA-THET-IC IN-FER-I-OR BE-ING!

Dalek: His pant TO-TALLY clash with his SHIRT!

Dalek: EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

Dalek: EX-TER-MIN-ATE!

*kills him*

Dalek: I want to REC-TALLY VI-O-LATE YOU!

Dalek: I WANT YOUR HOT DA-LEK PLUNGER IN MY ASS!

Dalek: FORN-I-CATE!

Dalek: FORN-I-CATE!

*after they finish*

Dalek: That was HOT!

Dalek: I Quite enjoyed that SOD-OMY!



HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!
Comments (2) | Permalink