Birthday • 1990-02-12 Gender •
Male Location • in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan Member Since • 2005-03-25 Occupation • slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki Real Name • J-D, Got it memorized?
Personal
Achievements • i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now... Anime Fan Since • i first saw Gundam Wing Favorite Anime • Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin, Goals • to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer. Hobbies • writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons Talents • annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble
myOtaku.com: JD Person
Welcome to my site archives. 10 posts are listed per page.
BG be BIG NOW!!!!!!
i have to thank saidoujisan
for fixing my BG, now it be big! good thing i keep making new friends, i lucked out that time.
so now all my problems are solved but the damn profile. does anyone know an approximate time it should take for Otaku to look into my problem, or how i can fix it? my whole "edit profile" screen in is my intro when i go to that screen, ican see all the code in my intro on that screen, does anyone know how to fix that?
well anyway, glad that girls don't even know if the hentai fetish of "spraying" is physically possible. i was afraid that it was either possible, or even normal. good to know if its possible that its not common or well known. as for the "hairy" thing... i keep expecting to see something that looks like cousin it spread eagle with over sized breasts and graphic lady parts. i realize thats not what they mean, but i mean who doesn't enjoy mocking hentai?
yeah, aren't my posts great?
i can go from thanking someone for fixing my site, to asking for help and advice about a suspected glitch in my profile, to hentai commentary. i love how people get annoyed if i have a semi-naked Angel for my BG, or if i post a violent Quiz result to point out how creepy it was,or spoil movies, but they never seem to care i put direct links to ecchi(?) or that i fuckin swear profusely, or that i have wierd rants about masterbation, yaoi, yuri, hentai, fetish hentai, and other disturbing things. they say "children are on this site, what if they see this?"
i ask you, has my site ever been apprpriate for children?
i'd have to say if your parents were disturbed by random naked angel girl, if they READ what i wrote, they'd probably die of shock.
but then again that may be why i have so many visitors.
or it could be the uber-cute lovieness i spout randomly. it sure is a contrast isn't it? i go from Puni Puni Poemy to Chobits in no time. [you have no idea how hard it is when you realize you need something more offensive than Excel Saga] but it seems i have a knack for saying both the offensive, and romantic. i must say that both serve me very well. and i hope you enjoy all of me.
also, the fact i will rant about random anime, video games, tv shows, movies, or any other types of media only because i'm into them right then. personally my favorite is Elfen Lied, i watched it pretty much first [i saw ep.1 the moment it came to US] and hated it, bitched about it, so tons of my Peoplezez went and saw it, and loved it. so i watched the rest, and asked if anyone could explain it to me, and everyone said they watched a couple episodes and didn't like it. so i gave up on it, and now everyone has Diclonius on their sites. my big bro was all psyched for it, so i asked after i watched the whole thing and he goes "enh, i didn't like it, i only saw the first two episodes."
okay, i REALLY hate my bro sometimes, he'll never watch my anime because its only average or a little good and "i've watched so much PHENOMINAL anime, so the average stuff just seems pointless now." self-righteous asshole. he thinks everything is a rip-off of EVA. damn GAINAX fanboy. i watched EVA with him, even though it wasn't that appealing to me, yet if i were to turn on Blue Gender, or Gundam Wing, or even Gundam SEED, he would leave the room. he's so inconsiderate, but he's smarter than me, so if i argued with him, or told him how it hurt me he'd just make me feel stupid or a cry-baby. i love my bro when we like the same thing, but he never does things because i like stuff, he never sacrifices.
he always tells me to turn down my tv when i play video games because he hates the voice acting, i already have it so low i barelt hear it.
well in any case i re-beat Disgaea today, and got the "good ending." i don't think it was much better than the normal one, though i do like that Flonne gets the new costume! but i really wanna see Laharl in Prinny form Dood! i was really happy to see Kurtis flying before the red moon, he really deserved to see his family again, i'm glad he got the chance to. i really like the Flonne x Laharl pairing, and the good ending does have more Flonne x Laharl content. but i want more Vyers! Mid-Boss was so cool, and i wished Laharl had called him "Dad" or "Old Man" before Vyers left with Laharl's mom. but i should be happy i got my Flonne content! as you can tell by my BG, i like Flonne.
Red moon, red moon...
Cleanses the sinful and makes them anew...
Shining brightly in the night sky,
waiting for the souls...
Who will be born again tonight?
Who will be born again tonight?
Be born again tonight?
i love that song
i'm so happy for those Prinnies Dood!
Fuckin-A man!
wow, profanity right off the bat!
you know this is going to get interesting.
first off, it seems that all the code for my profile has been some how transferred into my intro. i really wish i knew how to fix that. i can't see it, but i've been told others can see a lotta code there, so i'd like to get rid of it as fast as possible. but i have no idea how, i meassaged Otaku last night, i have no idea how long it will be before they do anything.
do any of you guys have any advice, suggestions, cures for my problem?
also, my damn BG shrunk, its supposed to be like 800x600 but its so damn tiny on here
i can't get any of the good BGs to work
i want a Disgaea: Hour of Darkness one
infact either of these would be nice
i tried using photobucket and image shack
i think they are protected
does anyone know how to get by these protections?
my damn bG is so small
it repeats too much
if anyone could please help it would be greatly appreciated.
i really want my site to be good
and right now its in a state of dis-array.
and yes, that link did lead to pretty tame hentai, but it was someone's BG! okay, think of that, it makes it worse. and the site that was on weas literally like the 40th hentai site, i know how extreme it gets, creepy. i like one had a link that said "hairy" this is an all girl site, i just laughed. i also liked "spraying" i may be a male virgin, but i think i know girls can't do that. and if they can, who wants to see it? yeah, hentai is fun. i have to ask if any of you know how to clear your history of sites you've visited, or clear your google searches, kinda wanna avoid my bro running across "ino hentai" in my searches. i must say, to prove a speacial person wrong i'm eventually going to activate the serch " yaoi hentai" to show my either well adjusted nature, extreme numbness, or latent homosexuality.
well i'm sorry i may have ruined the ending to POTC2, but i think i left it vague enough that i left plenty to be unveiled. but i really tried, i mean you all got pissed at me over X-3, [should have saved that anger for Bret Ratner] so i tried to be more considerate with this last post, but i guess i still said too much. please give me credit for my improvement. and the real reason i'm upset about it was that a very good friend is the one who told me i said too much, so it really kinda hurt.
but what freaked me even more than that is the fact someone LIKED the scene that caused my paranoia. someone liked the idea of manipulating emotions to your advantage. somebody liked betrayal that much. i HATE betrayal. i've been stapped in the back so many times Fiddy Cent asks me for survival advice. my heart and emotions have been toyed with, my trust broken, my world shattered, and my own inner darkness grew to protect me, i wrapped myself in walls to protect myself, i hid myself away and froze myself to keep from feeling hurt and betrayed anymore, i saw everyone as an enemy, i was ready to be attacked at any moment by my best friend. eventually an angel decended to me and annihilated all the walls, thawed my heart, and wrapped me in her arms, to be my protector. and i trust her, i trust that will not be betrayed, but the darkness, the paranoia, the survival instincts tell me that everything could change in a moment, that i need to fear intamacy, that everyone will betray me. i don't like seeing that people can betray like that, that the heart can be targetted without a damn second thought. just a sec, i need happy *plays Let Me Be With You* there we go. and worst off, people will like it! people can respect the use of love, affection, intamacy, kindness, to use that to hurt a person, to get them to lower their guard so that you can use them. i have no problem with using lust, sex, carnal pleasure, using body to betray body. but to attack the heart is just too cruel and cold to forgive. i HATE traitors, i like Dante's concept that they suffer the worst in Hell, ironically POTC1 taught me that, [i wish i could say i actually read inferno, but alas i'm not that cultured]
yeah, so lets just say that today was pretty interesting for me.
i hope some of my problems get resolved soon.
i need some mercy.
i'll get to work on Absolute Power today, like anyone cares...
Code word Flonne!
i loves my new BG
i sure as hell hope you guys can all see it
damn Wallpaper sites make it so damn hard to use their pics for your own site.
well, a bunch of you were curious about the hentai BG someone had, so i decided to tour google and find it, and after about 40 naruto hentai sites, and several disturbing images i found it here's a link!
so if my new BG is viewable, how does it look? does it look cute? is it better than the last one?
its not the one i wanted, i couldn't get that one to work, the stupid site i got it from blocked it i think, i liked it more, but this one will do, if its visable that is.
today i saw POTC2, finally. i must say it was good, not AMAZING like everyone puts it out to be, but pretty damn good. it was either that or Clerks 2, hard choice, except i forgot about A scanner Darkly, damn! if i had remembered that it would have been no contest! but alas, i digress. i must say that a particular scene caused me a great bit of woe. at one point Kiera Knightly kisses Johnny Depp so she can fdistract him and chain him to the ship to sacrifice him to save her and Orlando Bloom. now see no matter how much he deserved it for reasons i won't spoil for anyone who hasn't seen it.
i just hate to see love, affection, or intamacy used as a weapon. i mean i know the guy in the movie is a major ass munch, but commercials for John Tucker Must Die make me fear women. see its not that i feel i'm deserving of such recourse, but the fact that such a meathod of revenge exists, using the heart to hurt someone, faking love, that fills me with untold amounts of fear. because i'm afraid that such a meathod will be used on me, and my heart is so valnurable, if it were attacked like that i'd be utterly destroyed. i mean in Pirates, Depp comes back for her lousy ass because he wants her, and she fakes a reciprication of those feelings to betray him and save Orlando Bloom. i mean Johnny gives the most important thing for her, and she attempts to take his life. i believe Vyers-sama but it best with "Women are scary!" i KNOW i have nothing to fear, but i BELIEVE i do.
i can imagine myself, being as i'm a bottom, being in such a situation of shackled helplessness, and once i am unable to resist, being robbed, or heartbroken, or tortured [in a unsexy way, of course] or mauled, maimed, killed, or left for dead. one such as myself you has experienced and thus deeply fears betrayal often has such paranoid delusions. i suppose its all in my head, but still, if it can happen to the deserving, it can happen to the undeserving, and it must be common enough if its in so many movies. i really hate reality sometimes. i wish things were a little more idealist sometimes...
between BGs, movies, and talking to everyone, still no Absolute Power sorry
-Quote-
" a Horse Wiener?! Damn! that thing is dangerous, everyone get back!"
i burned myself out.
well, that rant yesterday basically let it all out of me
i'm basically sick of my BG
its not as cute as i thought at first, and i found one i liked more
i think one thing killed it
i got a pm complimenting my BG, and to tell him what i thought of theirs, and i saw their BG, Ino with her breasts hanging out, so i quick signed and left, adding them, being as i PROMISED to visit anyone, regardless of their theme. [poetic justice]
then i thought of somewthing, and went back, and sure enough her lady parts were in prime view as well.
luckily that person left pretty quick
i really was about to go back on my word and not go there
does that make me a bad person?
i would like to point out that i was told my girl would be prettier with a dress on,
HOW THE HELL DO YOU PUT ONE ON WHEN YOU HAVE GIANT ASS WINGS?!!!!!!
so today shall be the swan-song of the semi-naked Angel girl. i saw in a video that the girl in my BG comes from an anime, i thought she was an OC, but i guess i was incorrect. does anyone know this naked Angel? i sure as hell do not...
but i assure you Naked Angel Girl, will not go to waste, i shall be making banners, and she shall be featured in one. i just need may need help posting them successfully, if i don't figure out how to do it right set up i'll be asking for help, but for right now i still would rather have help posting Ningyo Hime so everyone can hear it *plays Ningyo Hime* there we go, i sure have an easier time writing listening to this. man i love this song, i can't wait until i can force all you guys to hear it too -^_^-
well, i'm about to re-beat Disgaea: Hour of Darkness. i want to get the good ending where Flonne becomes a demon. really, that final episode, all Flonne's dialogue is so touching, i was freaked the hell out when i first unlocked Etna's Journal and found out how deep the plot was, and towards the end, once Kurtis talks about his family, i mean damn is the story deep at the end, its like Excel Saga, 22 silly episodes, 3 deep touching ones, 1 insane one at the end. if any of you guys have a PS2, and 20 spare dollars, i reccomend buying this game, its really good!
i tried watching Mallrats on WE today, my god was that a bad idea. first off, how the hell is Mallrats a feminist power movie? i mean Chasing Amy would have been so much better, i mean Finger Cuffs was a great example for women, she could multi-task! plus, imean, Jason Lee had so many impowering Feminist sentiments like "all lesbians need is a good, hard, dicking." or:
Banky [Jason Lee]: Okay, we have a four way intersection with a $100 bill in the center, with a sweet, conversive lesbian, a man hating dyke, santa clause, and the easter bunny, who will make it to the $100 bill first?
Holden [Affleck]: The man hating Dyke?
Banky: correct, and do you know why?
Holden: enlighten me.
Banky: BECAUSE THE OTHER 3 ARE FIGMENTS OF YOUR FUCKIN' IMAGINATION!!!!!!!
see, Chasing Amy is perfect for WE. but i digress, the editting on Mallrats was so intense i couldn't take it, i think they hired a VA to dub all Jason Mew's parts, being as he is fluent in fuck-ish. and after the 127th "holy snot!" in 15 minutes i just gave up and watched something else, Kevin Smith is meant to be watched un-editted, or at least editted by comedy central, Dogma is tolerable on comedy central, possibly because it kicks ass!
well hopefully i'll beat Disgaea tomorrow and get back to drawing and writing, and maybe work out a little, i must do some damn work, i'm trying to work harder, but all my time seems to disapear away...
but at least i'm not bored and alone, that really sucked, i'm actually getting so much attention that i don't have any time left. so i must say this is better, i enjoy having no free time because i'm too busy chatting and having fun.
Divided.
Man, i hate having a concence.
i mean i love my BG, and most of you support me in my artist expression involving a naked angel girl [on a side note, no one cares that EVA shows us at least 18 naked angels, counting Rei and Koaru, not to mention all the different variations of the 18th angel naked, and the whole damn entrance to Elfen Lied... fuck my inner self! this is going to be out loud!
i mean for god's sake, you see NOTHING!!!!! yes, i know it is a bit hard to explain to others, but fuck [this is going to be funny in a in a minute] i've had to sit with yaoi BGs in my face all the time, i mean i truly am sorry some my see my bg as being offensive, but i really do like it, i may change it if i see another i really like, but its really not that bad. i'm sorry it offends some of you, but i'd really like to express myself.
at the same time i don't want to alienate people, so i do, in some parts want to take it down. i don't know, i'm conflicted. i hate being so, me-ish, i'm always conflicted, i want to be ,me, i want to show others the me that is me, and be excepted for me, for the one that i am, but i want to be liked, i want others to like and accept me, so when me, and being liked are opposed i tend to want to bend. i lose myself and try to be accepted, i was locked away for so long, and it took so much work and compsassion for me to finally show myself, that i'm not going back into that darkness again! so if you don't like me, fuck you! i'm sick of always changing to make others happy! i'm going to be myself from now on, no more pretending...
fuck confliction, my will to exist just nuked my will to please, this self shall not be lost due to the disliking of others. i get offended all the time by BGs and stuff, and i still visit, i still go, even though people have suicidal lyrics on their BGs, or .gifs about cutting as their avis, that play emo rock about just wanting to die, because except those people. why is it that people can have pics of slit wrists, or suicide, or pain, and everyone is like " i see no problem here." but i have a bit of skin showing and people flip the fuck out. why is it that you can sing about cutting, but masterbation is taboo? why are images of wounds acceptable, but a naked, completly covered girl is offensive? i find my BG beautiful, and yes, at first i did this as a "look at me." type thing, but i hoped, that if you looked at it, it would sink in it was harmless, or at least tolerable. but i guess pain is better than pleasure, blood, and hate, and misery, those are all well within the confines of safety, but pleasure, beauty, cuteness, and a bit of senuality are *menacing voice* PURE EVIL.
and for the record, if i had a digital camera, my bg would be me wearing 3 socks at a smile, if you don't get that, then study the male anatomy. so don't dare call me sexist, i'm not getting off on this, its not porn to me. onto the pure all things are pure, and i'm sure as hell NOT pure, so you must be trying to see evil in this.
i'm sorry i'm such a douche bag, and i have my semi-nude BG, but hell my friend color me evil had a BG with the same level of nudity, none. its implied nudity, i mean i guess if you use your imagination you can see whats underneath her hands, or what the page cuts off, but i'm not trying.
and i apologize that i cannot change to better suit your mood, but i was locked away in the darkness of my heart too long, i know from experience that tactical losses add up, and from my addiction [i put the dic... too easy] know how fast victory over a past self becomes defeat to the parts of you you hate. so i can't give up what i believe is me, i'm sorry if my ways don't suit you, and i really wish i could make you stay, but i can't change, or else i may not stop until i'm not me anymore.
please forgive me, stay if you can, leave if you want, but i'll be here so that if you ever want to come back, you know where i am.
and if you can't tell, i had an eppiphony mid-post, so yeah, i'm back to loving me for me, sorry, but i'm not broken yet.
i will eventually change it, once i find one more beautiful than mine is now, until then you'll just have to deal with this one.
"You find me offensive? I find you offensive
For finding me offensive
Hence if I should draw a line on any fences
If so to what extense if
Any, should I go? 'Cause it's getting expensive
Being on the other side of the courtroom on the defensive
They say that I cause extensive
Pshycological nerve damage to the brain when I go to lenghts this,
Far at other people's expenses
I say your all just too god damn sensitive
It's censorship"
Aveian walk up to Foxxy’s room, on the door there’s a piece of paper taped to the door written in red all spiky that’s says “FUCK OFF!!” Aveian slowly opens the door and looks in. Foxxy is lying on her bed in a big white shirt, which Aveian recognizes as Sylven’s. Her legs are bare below it, the bed is covered in blood, she’s crying into the pillow loudly and violently, her fingers are bleeding, her face is buried in the pillow, as the door open her sobbing slows, and she quiets.
Aveian: Foxxy…
Foxxy’s body tenses up and she looks at him, her pupils are much smaller, her lips are curled and she has blood on her teeth and lips, she bears her teeth like a wild animal, her limbs locked in place.
Foxxy: (snarling) Get out!!!
Aveian: He didn’t have a choice; you know that, don’t you?
Foxxy: I don’t care if he had a choice! He deserves to die for what he did!
Aveian: Then kill him, you have enough rage, he’s injured, and you know he could never hurt you.
Foxxy’s eyes flash for a second.
Aveian: Or is it that you can’t hurt him either?
Foxxy: Shut up! You don’t know anything about me!
Aveian: At least leave the room, it’s been 3 days, you haven’t eaten since then.
Foxxy: I’m going to stay here, in this room, lying on this bed soaked in my brothers blood, I like lying in my brothers blood.
Aveian: Most of that blood is yours.
The view pans down and we see Foxxy’s inner thighs are soaked in blood.
Aveian: It’s the second, or did you not notice.
Foxxy: I noticed. Another time I failed to breed. I suggest you don’t trifle with a vixen in heat. Besides, I’m outta tampons.
Aveian: You should eat something, no one wants you dead.
Foxxy: I’m not hungry.
Aveian: I don’t believe you.
Aveian sets down two loaves of bread, some streak and 3 beers.
Aveian: I’ll leave them just in case. (Walks out)
Foxxy: (voice softening slightly) I don’t need them!!!
The door shuts and immediately Foxxy jumps on the food and devours it.
Foxxy: (tearing apart the food) I’m sorry Sylven, but I can’t join you yet.
As he walks away Aveian hears Foxxy gulping down the food.
Foxxy calms down a little, her pupils dilate, and her voice softens back up, she gets up sniveling and tears still running, she sobs short high pitched squeaks and walks out of her room. She approaches Allenby who’s walking somewhere.
Foxxy: (looking up at her with her big sad, tear filled eyes, lip quivering) Allenby… do you have any tampons.
Allenby: Yeah, I think I have one in my first aid kit.
Allenby pulls her first aid out and hands Foxxy what she requested.
Allenby: You gonna be okay?
Foxxy: Yeah, (gives a weak smile) I’ll be fine.
Allenby: Please forgive him; you really hurt him by doing this.
Foxxy: He hurt me too.
Allenby: All his life he’s been protecting you, healing your pain and soothing your heart and soul, I’m only saying that it might be nice to do that for him once.
Foxxy: Thanks for the tampon.
Foxxy walks off and goes into one bathroom. She turns on the water and sits down in the tub with the shower head on full hot. Steam builds up and Foxxy pushes down the drain plug. Foxxy stairs down at her feet as the hot water approaches. The steaming hot water nips at her tender skin, she cringes and pulls her feet back, then sets them back in.
Foxxy: (looks down moping, in a soft monotone) This pain is nothing. The heat will cleanse my soul of its wounds.
Foxxy wraps her arms around her legs and rests her head on them.
Foxxy: Everything is so confusing. Why can’t I see what’s going on?
Foxxy lays there in eyes closed, but not crying, she lies in that ball, she just lays there trying to sort out her mind and feelings out. She lies like that until the water turns cold; she leans forward and washes her hair, then face, then body. The soap runs off her body as every cell goes nuts in the ice cold water. She stands up to wash the soap off and stands in the water for a couple seconds more. Then she turns off the water and gets out, wrapping the towel over her shoulders, she walks up to the mirror, wiping the steam off and peering in.
Foxxy: Fire and ice had no answers, I’m truly broken.
Foxxy looks down and sees Draco’s strait razor, she picks it up and toys with it.
Foxxy: There may be one way to fix me…
Foxxy holds out one wrist staring deeply into the razor’s blade.
Draco walks by the half opened bathroom door and sees the reflection in the mirror of what’s going on. Foxxy still toys with the blade when suddenly the door flies open and before she knows it her right hand is behind her back held by the wrist and her left hand is being held up to her shoulder in front of her. She tries to struggle free but Draco has her held tight.
Foxxy: Let me go asshole!
Draco: What the hell were you planning to do?!
Foxxy: None of you damn business! Let go of me!
Draco: Not until you calm down!
Foxxy: I said let go!!
She pulls as hard as she can but can’t break loose.
Draco: What do you plan to gain by dying?!
Foxxy: Who ever said I planned to die!
Foxxy tries to swipe at Draco with the razor, but the end is not pointed and it hits his armor. Draco grips her right wrist tighter; she drops the razor and cries out in sheer pain.
Draco: Even if you weren’t planning on dying now, even if the thought of that razors kiss was only a slight temptation, your life was in danger, and I will not allow you to die on my watch.
Foxxy: What do you care! Are you in love with me O Great Prince and Savior!? Why does it matter whether I live or die?!
Draco: Because you’re still needed here, I need you to fight for me, and because I’ve lost family, and I know what it feels like when you hate them, so I can only imagine what your brother would think. (Draco lets her go and shoves her forward she goes stomach first into the sink knocking the wind out of her and her towel off) Go ahead and die! Just do it with more dignity!
Draco walks out; just as he does Foxxy turns to face him.
Foxxy: (voice cracking, panting hard) Draco!
Draco turns to face Foxxy.
Foxxy: (sad and soft) Thank you.
At that moment Draco realizes what he’s looking at: a young, tight, fair skinned, sopping, dripping wet, panting, tiny chest heaving, cute, weak, bright eyed, shiny, naked, virgin maiden. After gather this information Draco walks away with a very uneasy look on his face. Foxxy, realizing what he saw, blushes a tiny bit, shows a tiny smile, lets out a little giggle then has a moment of self again. Foxxy silently and quickly runs up behind Draco and glomps him around the neck, pressing her tiny chest against the back of his head, Draco tries to get her off and she swings them around to the front right over his face, Draco shoves her off.
Draco: Damn you! Remind me to never save your life again.
Foxxy: You know you liked it!
Foxxy crouches there in a three-point stance, her normal self again, but then Draco leaves sight, and she’s alone again, and suddenly, all her pain returns to her and she breaks down crying.
Foxxy: Damn it! (Clenches fist to her heart) I don’t wanna hurt anymore!
Sylven: (clutching his bleeding, half broken body) Where the hell are we going?
Marane: My hide-out.
Sylven: Where can we hide, you were always on the run, there is no hiding from Zeru.
Marane: He’s lost his puppet system, Ra is gone, the three fighters left him and he lost his secondary branch, Negeta is in no position to be going on anything but the defensive, right now I’m guessing he’s putting all his power into hiding and fortifying his first branch.
Sylven: So then where are we going?
The tiny Suit carrier approaches a shining Silver space fortress.
Marane: MY base, Darris Kharlan.
Sylven: What the hell is that, how can someone as wanted as you have such a large and conspicuous asset?
Marane: Because I’m intelligent, I’ve been siphoning some of the profits from my black market gene splicing into this little beauty. I just hid the lines well enough that no one could follow them, and this is the first time I touched it, so no one could connect it to me that way either.
Sylven: Well you’re touching it now, how can we be sure that this won’t be drawing unneeded attention?
Marane: This baby is so well protected, I actually hope they try and attack, we’ll either wipe them out or teach them never to try it again.
Sylven: Nothing can happen until my Gundam is rebuilt.
The Raven Corps. crew are lying around in the living room.
Kit: (groans) I can’t take this!
Allenby: What’s up?
Kit: Its just I keep worrying about my sis! I wouldn’t be so worried except there’s nothing to do! It’s so fuckin’ boring and all I can think about is her!
Draco: So let me guess, you’re going to talk to her?
Kit: I can’t help it’s all I can think about!
Aveian: (looks over at him, slowly turning his head and opening his eyes) You know its not a good idea.
Kit: Aveian, you know just as well as I do, almost nothing that has to be done is ever a good idea.
Aveian: (turns back, drops his head and shuts his eyes) I’m just trying to warn you.
Kit gets up and starts to walk out.
Allenby: (getting up to follow him) Wait up Kit!
Kit walks out, with Allenby running after him.
Draco: Think she’ll be able to stop him.
Aveian: right now he has to choose between a woman who loves him and a girl who hates him, let’s hope he chooses right.
She catches up with Kit and grabs his jacket to stop him.
Allenby: (runs up next to him keeping pace) Kit, please don’t go in there.
Kit: Why not?
Allenby: Right now everything possible that could stop her from wanting to talk to you is happening, just give her some time and when she calms down let me or Aveian get her to talk things out with you.
Kit: (Kit puts his arm out to stop her, then turns to face her) Thanks, but I have to do this for myself. I’m sorry, (walks away, then turns to face her) thanks for offering though.
Allenby stays as Kit keeps walking.
Allenby: She’ll hate you, you know that!?
Kit: (turns to face her again) Yeah, but something like that won’t stop me.
Kit walks off and Allenby looks really upset.
Allenby: (crying a little) I’m begging you Kit, please stop!
Kit stops dead then sorta walks quickly over to her to comfort her.
Kit: What’s wrong, why don’t you want me to go?
Allenby: Because Foxxy is almost a woman, and I know women, because I know me, I know how she’s going to act, and I don’t want you to get hurt.
Kit: Don’t worry, I can handle it.
Allenby drops onto his chest grabbing his shirt, Kit wraps his arms around her and holds her.
Allenby: It doesn’t matter! Don’t you see how selfish that is? To talk with her when you broke her heart, and to go off to get yourself hurt, I don’t want you hurt, she’ll hate me too, but if I can feel that pain for you then I’d be happy to do it, I may like Foxxy, but I don’t love her like you, so I just want to go in there and take the bullet for you.
Kit: Allenby, I don’t want you hurt either.
Allenby look up from his chest into Kit’s eyes, hers full of tears, this look of anger and sadness on her face
Allenby: (disappointed, sad, angry and still crying) Kit, can’t you forget your wants for five minutes?!
Kit is shocked, he steps back letting Allenby go, his face is full of surprise, he shivers and clutches himself with his left arm. He falls to the ground shivering, still holding himself.
Kit: Am I really that selfish?
Allenby kneels down before him.
Allenby: We all do things for our own reasons, you’ve only thought of yourself because you’ve only had yourself and others that imposed their feelings on you, by gun point or a warm hug, but now you have someone who follows you, and loves you in me. Just try to remember you’re responsible for others now.
Kit: (hangs his head, sighs and speaks softly) You’re right, I’m sorry. Thanks for doing this for me. It means a lot to me that you care so much.
Allenby lifts his chin up with her fingers and brushes the hair from his face.
Allenby: Of course I do, I love you!
Kit: I love you too.
Allenby: (gives Kit a little kiss on the lips) Good, (gets up and starts to head for Foxxy’s room) just chill out for now, I promise I’ll be back soon, to comfort you.
Kit: (runs his index finger under his nose with a little smirk) I’ll be waiting!
Foxxy: Go away!!!! Why can’t people just leave me alone?
Allenby slowly enters anyway, pillow flies at her head and she catches it one handed, then offers it back to Foxxy.
Allenby: This yours? (Warm smile)
Foxxy: (snatches it back, annoyed) I hate you.
Allenby: Just forgive him.
Foxxy: Why should I?
Allenby: Because he’s your brother and you love him.
Foxxy: I loved Sylven and now he’s dead.
Allenby: So you’re going to abandon one you love in the memory of some one who will never know what you’re doing, would you really hate your brother for protecting himself?
Foxxy: He’s so selfish; I bet he sent you in here to do his dirty work for him.
Allenby: Nope, I almost had to drag him away to keep him from coming in here himself, he regrets what he did and wants your forgiveness.
Foxxy: And what do you want?
Allenby: I want you guys to be close loving brother and sister like you were before, I want you both to be happy.
Foxxy: I guess none of our wishes will be fulfilled.
Allenby: (gets up to leave) Just think about it, try to forgive him. He had no choice.
Foxxy: It won’t work.
Allenby: (going out the door) That’s too bad. (Door shuts)
Allenby returns to the room they’re all in. she sits down next to Kit.
Kit: How’d it go?
Allenby: Not so good, (looks down, speaking sadly) I think she’s trying not to forgive you, but I don’t think she can succeed. I really hope she can’t.
Kit: I just want her to be happy.
Allenby: What about you?
Kit: I don’t care about myself right now, my happiness isn’t important.
Allenby shifts over, her hands on either side of his lap, her face very close to his.
Allenby: It is to me! And I wanna show you just how much it means.
She takes his hands and drags him off towards their bedroom.
Sora goes to get up; she leans on a crutch under her wounded side.
Aveian: (cigarette burned short, dangling on his bottom lip) Where are you off to?
Sora: (looking over her shoulder at him) I’m going to talk to her.
Aveian: Do you think it will do anything?
Sora: (smug smile) Maybe, maybe not. But I feel like trying.
Aveian: I wonder how Kit would feel about this.
Sora: (calm, happy look, eyes closed, little smile) I don’t really care, he can keep hating me, or he can love me, in the end we all only act for ourselves, so I’ll keep doing my own thing.
With that Sora walks out and the doors shut behind her.
Aveian: (thinking) We all may act for ourselves, but others warp our motives so that they benefit them, we are really just tools of those around us, but Sora, who are you working for?
Kit, still being dragged is pulled into the bed-room and thrown on the bed, before he can even think about moving Allenby is on top of him; shirtless, he’s trapped.
Kit: I really don’t…
Allenby: Well I do. (Leaning in closer, un-doing her bra) and I know were both about to have a lot of fun.
Kit goes to speak but his mouth is cover to fast, his eyes grow softer. Allenby’s hands move off his shoulders and go a little lower, his pants fall onto the ground, her arms move to herself, then back onto Kit, the bed starts to rock.
Sora, on one crutch hobbles slowly down the hall to Foxxy’s room. Sora reaches the door and knocks.
Sora: (voice still weak) You there Foxxy?
Foxxy is still sobbing violently.
Foxxy: Won’t anyone just leave me alone today!? Please just go away!
Sora slowly enters.
Sora: Sorry, can’t do that. See you’re hurting everyone by your actions, and I think you owe it to them to try and be strong. Forgive your brother, in war sometimes just staying alive is an uphill battle.
Foxxy: He killed Sylven!!
Sora: Sylven would have killed him.
Foxxy: I’d rather have him alive then Kit.
Sora: So you’re going to forsake your brother for someone who’s already dead?
Foxxy: (voice weaker) I loved him…
Sora: Like you don’t love him.
Foxxy: (wailing) HE DIDN’T HAVE TO KILL HIM!!!!!
Sora: But, none the less he did, now all you can do is decide if you rather lose two loved ones, or just one. Life is cruel, to have your brother and your love fight to the death, I know that was hard for you, but Sylven wanted it, he started the battle, you can’t blame Kit for defending himself and winning.
Foxxy: But I can’t forgive so easily.
Sora: Then fight him yourself, if you hate him so much go and punish him for his sins with your own hands.
Foxxy: I… I… don’t want to kill him.
Sora: So you want him dead but you won’t dirty your own hands? You just want others to do all your work for you!
Foxxy: Why are you doing this Sora?
Sora: No reason.
Foxxy: Did Aveian tell you to do this?
Sora: I only take orders from him in the bedroom.
Foxxy: Kit?
Sora: Kit would never ask this, not only does he severely dislike me, but he’d rather do this himself, I’m just trying to correct the little wrongs of the world.
Foxxy: So you’re telling me to kill him?
Sora: Just confront him, tell him how angry you are with your fists, let out all your anger over Sylven’s death on his killer, if it leads to death so be it, just resolve this problem. Well I’ve said my peace, see ya…
Sora goes to walk out; she opens the door, over her shoulder Foxxy lays in her crimson bed.
Allenby is doing her worst, or best to Kit, she is enjoying herself, which is easy to tell by her expressions and moans. Kit’s face is flushed, he’s breathing hard and moaning with pleasure as well, he’s biting the sheets, fingers clenching the bed tight and legs kicking, but his eyes betray that inside, he’s not as happy as his outward physical pleasure is making him.
Exhausted Allenby drops off of him, lying down next to him, she’s beaming, having just enjoyed the greatest pleasure in life, but when she looks into Kit’s eyes she knows there’s something wrong.
Allenby: What’s wrong, you can’t tell me you wanted even more.
Kit: Its not that, right now I just need to clear out my head. Thanks for sharing yourself with me Allie, but right now not even that can cheer me up.
Kit gets up and puts on his boxers and pants. He walks out the door with a certain living dead type manner.
Allenby lays there wrapped up in a blanket, heart broken.
Allenby: (barely a sad squeak) Kit… (Kit walks out and shuts the door) Kit no… come back…
Allenby passes out from a mixture of sorrow and exhaustion from several rounds of carnal pleasure.
Aveian and Draco start up a conversation in the living room.
Aveian: So what’s the plan once we reach this place, your homeland?
Draco: We gather forces, first we do some missions for the land, and then once we’ve gotten support we strike against the corrupt Black Vulpine Corporation!
Aveian: What are the attack plans?
Draco: That’s to be told later.
Aveian: I don’t like being left out of the operation details.
Draco: You won’t be, once we’re within striking position you will know everything, this would be impossible without you, Commander Aveian Wind.
Aveian: This plan better be successful, or I don’t think we will have another chance.
Draco: Then this mission will have to be a success.
Kit walk down the hallway in his semi-undressed state as Sora, now walking slowly without aid approaches him from the other direction.
Sora: Hey there Kit!
Kit: I’m not in the mood Sora.
Sora: You’re no fun. Are you just mad because you’re hurt, if you unwrap your arm is I’ll kiss all your boo-boos!
Kit: Out of the way.
Kit passes by her.
Sora: (evil-ish smirk) You know your sister hates you.
Kit stops dead and faces her. He is not happy.
Sora: (still evil and cocky) It’s true! She wants you dead because you killed her crush, no matter how one sided her feelings were she can’t forgive you for killing him. She wants to kill you; she’s looking for you’re right now to do it!
Kit: (snarls) Fuck you Sora.
Sora is pressed against his chest, her lips within range of his neck, cheek, lips and chin. She runs her finger over his bare chest.
Sora: Fuck you? We’ll I didn’t know you wanted me so much, (moving her lips closer to his ear) I can do things to you couldn’t imagine in the dirtiest wet drea…
Sora cringes in pain; Kit has his left thumb over her wound, pressing just hard enough…
Kit: (malicious smile, fangs bared, pupils small) I don’t care what Aveian will do to me, you’re a stuck up bitch, and I won’t betray Allenby, and no matter what you say I won’t hate my little sister, so go bitch to your little boy-toy, I’ll take what he gives me, I just hope one day Aveian can see what a double-crossing bitch you really are.
Kit pushes her off and she slams back first into the wall. Kit continues walking, Sora gets up.
Sora: Kit!
Kit keeps walking
Sora: Kit!!!!!!
He keeps going.
Sora: Kit turn around you stupid bastard!
Kit turns to face her, Sora, clutching her wound stumbles forward a few steps.
Sora: Kit, your women, both of them are lucky to have you, as a lover, or a brother and a best friend.
Kit: Thanks Sora, but I still hate you.
Sora: (wink and a thumbs up) I wouldn’t have it any other way.
Kit walks off into the distance; Sora stumbles off to get treated, once again.
Kit walks into the hangar, Foxxy; clad in her normal black T-shirt and black panties stares him down.
Kit: Yo sis!
Foxxy: (stern) Kit, I wanna fight you!
Kit: (looks away dejected) You mean kill me…
Foxxy: (cocks head to the side, while retaining her slight anger) Huh?
Kit: (looks at her again) Sora told me you wanted to kill me, for revenge, I guess she wasn’t lying!
Foxxy: I’m no t planning on killing you, but I still can’t let Sylven’s death go, even if you had to, I have to fight in his name, and let my pain out.
Kit: I completely understand.
Foxxy: I’m going to beat you, for Sylven.
Kit: Then defeat me! In the name of your dead love!
Foxxy: (in stance) I will!
Foxxy runs at Kit swiping at him, he parries with his left hand, then ducks a strike and tries to sweep her legs, she jumps, and Kit pivots on his left hand kicking her in the head with both feet, the both quickly regain their normal stance.
Kit: Did I get ya?
Foxxy: Now I see how he lost… But I won’t!!!!
Foxxy rushes him again, she swings with the right and get stops it, she goes for a left hook, over his broken right arm and hits him hard on the cheek, the follows up with a barrage of body blows.
Foxxy: Are you even trying!? OOOOOF!
Kit nails her hard in the stomach with a left, then a heel kick to the upper back into a knee to the chest.
Foxxy: (clutching her chest) My tiny boobies! You’re going to pay for that!
The two of them continue exchanging blows, the fight slowly moving back Kit’s way, until.
Foxxy: I’ve got you now!
She pulls out her dagger and pins one of his legs to the wall by his pant leg, then grabs Kit’s Kodachi and pins the other, Kit goes to strike her, but she catches his wrist and slams it into the wall, breaking the cement, she draws back her left for the final blow.
Kit: Go ahead and finish me…
Foxxy: FOR SYLVEN!!!!!!
Silence, then a small sound can be heard.
Kit: Sis?
Foxxy still has her arm drawn back, but her face is softer, and tears are streaming down her face.
Kit: Are you alright? Just kill me already.
Foxxy: (sobbing) Damn you! Damn you! I can’t kill you! You’re my big brother!
Foxxy latches onto him kicking the blades off and letting Kit free, then falls onto him.
Foxxy: (sobbing harder into kits shoulder) I love you! You’re my big brother and I love you! (She moves back to stare at him) But why’d you have to kill him?! (Head buried in his shoulder again) You’re all I have, and you care about me, but I miss him so much! I… think I can forgive you, but I can’t forget! I’ll never be able….
Kit: (lifts her face up to look at him) I’m sorry I killed him, I tried all I could to save him, but I couldn’t, to say he wouldn’t let me is an excuse, I wasn’t good enough to save him, so I deserve your hatred.
Foxxy: I can’t hate you. You’re the most important person in the world to me, I love you big brother.
She hugs him really tight. Her voice still quivers but her tears slow.
Foxxy: (lets go and steps back, with her hands folded by her ass behind her, then looks around wistfully)But right now I need some time to set everything in my mind, so I going to stay in solitary confinement until we reach the destination. Then hopefully I’ll be myself again.
Kit: I completely understand.
Foxxy: Thanks bro!
Foxxy gives her brother another huge hug, then runs off. On the outside of the room Allenby peers in.
Allenby lays on her bed wide awake; shifting frequently Kit sleeps happily clutching her with his left arm.
------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Foxxy lays down in solitary confinement and is surrounded by bare nothingness.
The camera pans out and we see the bloody shirt float by in space.
Ja Ne
(Outlaw Star next episode music)
Foxxy: It’s me, Foxxy! And I’m happy again! I can’t go the rest of my life depressed and hating my brother, I love him too much, so Sylven, sleep in my heart, I promise to keep you there. But mow its time to move on, its Draco’s homeland, and we’re about to find out why he’s such an exceptionally happy person. Next Episode: Absolute Power: Mission 15: Full Female Alchemist! Hey who is that bitch anyway? O well, we all better get ready!
THERE'S A NAKED GIRL ON MY BG!!!!!!!!?
THERE IS!!!!!
O MIEN GODT!!!
Nakedness!
yes, there is infact a naked girl on my BG, but once again, i specify that i enjoy it for what you DON'T see, not what you do.
i mean do i seem like THAT much of a pervert? i just admire the female form, so much so that i myself admire that my form is curvy, my hips are the same width as my shoulders, my waist is thin, and i got mad back! i mean i like girliness so much i want to get a lower back tattoo, naval piercing, and wear body shimmer. as well as watch yaoi, and maybe paint my nails. but then again, that makes me sound gay, so i'm glad you all know my desire for the female body is so apparent.
yep, i lovez da ladyz! i mean i look up to Asaba for god sakes! i go hunting for fangirls! i constantly blab about the one just for me, i would start a country of my fangirls if i could. i am certainly not gay, but i am very feminine, i openly admit that!
and what is wrong with crying while watching Chobits!? its a very touching series! you guys suck, i mean its so cruel to mock me for something like that! its like my favorite series ever, so excuse me for having emotions. i mean i'm a real romantic, and the whole damn series is a cutesy love story, how could one such as myself not cry? i mean i guess you guys were just joking, but still, i guess i never thought that a person could not have the same reaction as me when seeing such a series. that view was close minded and stupid, i apologize.
i'm still trying to get Ningyo Hime to play on my site, but it isn't working so far, if any of you guys could help me it would be appreciated. i have a file of the song from gendou, but when i tried uploading it it didn't work, i may have done it wrong, i could really use some help if anyone wants to offer it. if not i understand, its no biggie.
of course today NO ONE is on to pm me, soi'm all alone, yesterday i had like 7 people, today no one, man life sure sucks sometimes. but its all good, i still know my gaurdian angel is there, so i cannot be sad, i just think of her and i'm happy, its good to have a strength like that, so its not like i'm unhappy. just pretty lonely. oh well, i guess i just have to be strong.
i'm watching "so you want to be a super hero?" on the sci-fi channel. its actually pretty cool, first off there was a spy named Rotiart, and he had hidden camera equipment, which showed this gay dude really just wanted to make money off making custom versions of his character's action figure. now he made them change from street clothes to super costume, and race to a finish line, but there is a crying child in the way, most of them missed her, but one guy, Major Victory, not only saved her, but he did in in the campiest, most super-hero-y way ever! it was pretty awesome! the one guy i like, Iron Inforcer, is a guy with a huge gun, but his pecs are asymetrical, its kinda creepy
i may actually get some work done on AP today, being as i'm all alone. so at least some good comes from all things, i mean i'd rather have no time because everyone wants to talk to me, but i owe it to you peoplzez to write AP, and to myself, so i'm going to do my best to make lemonade from lemons.
speaking of doing your best, Stan Lee said "do your best" and all i could think of is Chii going "do you best Hideki." yeah, that dshow has impacted my mind forever. i'm glad for that, because that series made me really happy, to the point it cancel out, and over ran the creepiness and bad writing of Elfen Lied, though the ending song from Elfen Lied did linger for a while, until Ningyo Hime kicked it out, i must say i like the current brain-dominating song better.
this little dude got eliminated from the show because he changed into his super hero costume in the middle of a park, in clear sight of everyone walking by. poor Nitro G, he was so funny looking and short.
oh, and i'd love to be a movie reviewer, i mean whats better than insulting stuff, FOR A LIVING!!!!? i'd want my bro and maybe my beloved to be my co-viewrs though.
The main export of Chuck Norris has been changed from pain has been changed to his prime import, he is now exporting wind and blood, tthe reason is rumored to be a double foot stomp to the chest
-AP Comments-
Foxxy: at least i'm smarter than Chii... *looking around nervously* Right...? *squeaking* right...?
Everyone but me...
Great, I can't hear the music
but all yopu guys can...
oh well, i can play it whenever i want
i do love the song though
it always made me almost cry, or maybe its just that Chobits is the best written anime i ever watched...
i guess a little of both.
i remember the first time i heard it, i think its the episode where Chii goes to work at the strip joint or something, all i know is that Hideki was running looking for her in the rain, and that song kicks in, i almost started crying. its just so sad and emotional. its so great.
so i subject all you poor peoplzez to hearing it! just be happy i didn't use METEOR, or IGNITE, am i suppose to capitalize every T.M. Revolution song?> because everyone else does... its kinda funny, i saw T.M Revolution as a title on Bento BeatBox on Anime Network On Demand, so i thought "what are the chances that its from Gundam SEED..." *opening line to IGNITE plays* "yep."
well in any case i wish i could hear my own damn music.
oh well, when everything is wrong, i move along like i always do.
i watched War of the worlds today, and i swaer, i got a little Sista' in me, i was screaming at my TV the whole movie. Why does Tom Cruise never shut his mouth? is his jaw broken? is he breathing through his mouth? what is wrong with him? and he has to be the worst father i even saw. giant lightning strikes? look hunny, lightning! the girl freaks the hell out and his grinning ear to ear laughing! then he runs inside and hides on the second floor, infront of a glass door, this man is reterded. then ontop of that he is soooooo out of shape, he runs like 3 yards and is panting uncontrolably, every running scene i'm just laughing my ass off, my god that midget can't run. then he kills a guy, and only gets a little knick on his forehead, yeah short little Tom Cruise can kill a big hill billy like that guy and just get a little cut. he also survives a baseball bat to the head and a shovel to the face, then i realized, that vaccant, always open mouth, his head is full bone, thuse shovels and bats have no effect. i did almost cry when you see the military fighting off the tripods just to buy time for the civilians to escape, knowing it means their death. that always gets me, the self sacrificing scene, such honor, it reduces me to tears in every movie is see it in! other than that the whole movie for me was mocking Tom Cruise.
i'm spending too much time on here, too many friends to talk to, so i miss my workout time, and updating takes forever, i guess its better than being lonely though, so i guess i choose this fate over the other.
tomorrow will be more drawing, probably my request, then other stuff, i just need something to do.
i still haven't written more of AP eithe, but i guess i'll have some time tonight, i don't know, i may just stop answering all pms while i'm updating, just uber-close friends, sorry to those who aren't in that category, but you are nessacary sacrifices.
well, hopefully i can get some work done if i change things up. if not i'll make more changes, its all good!
well i guess all my good friends logged off, so i'm going to stop answering pms and finish my post, which was pointless and really stupid
Why do you exist?
-because i want to better than my sister!
Your existance is that unimportant?
-What are you saying?
Are you so pathetic that you can't live for anything else?
-i exist for me!
So you only exist for yourself? what a lonely and patheic existance. No one besides you wills you to exist, your existance is meaningless and without reason.
her sister is my very good friend, so i'm merely doing her dirty work. i don't really mind though.
Well... STUFF!!!!!!
yeah, no real theme to this post
so you know it will be interesting later...
popsicle violation here we come!
well lets see, i actually got a REQUEST for art!!! i was told my chibi's look great, yeah, look at my art, i bet you'll disagree. but in any case its good to know i'm useful, i like that people think i'm good, even if i hate my work, i like being desired. there is no end to my ego. so i'll do requests, if for some reason people actually think i'm a good artist...
and i'm amazed so many of my fangirls find me lovable, of course, then again, you're fangirls, or just female peoplezez, still, its nice to know i'm not undesirable.
of course, how could i not be desired? i mean i'm just sooooooooooooo sexy and great. i'm pretty, i've got great hair, my nails make girls jealous, i take care of my skin, keeping it soft and smelling of fruit, my face and hands shimmer [soon my whole body will], i want to cuddle more than have sex, i'm funny, i'm modest [psyche!], i'm on touch with my feminine side, i want to watch yaoi [just need a speacial person with me] and i'm blessed in my manhood [i measured, i'm above average, like usual]
well in any case i've been getting lazy lately, i must move more so that i can become Asaba-esque. i must become like Asaba so that i will be irresistably sexy to the fairer sex, and able to create more fangirls. if i could, i would create a new coutry like Asaba, but of course my heart and body remain the sole property of one person, so really i guess i just want a bunch of followers.
but i think no matter what ever i do i'll always be cute and pretty, i have these huge, sparly blue eyes. i can't be sexy, i look like a puppy! there's no such thing as a sexy puppy! oh well, i'll be the damn most desireable puppy ever! i'll be a puppy you can't help but want to own! yes! my plan is coming into action! i shall be an adorable pretty boy puppy, ruling my country of fangirls with my pink sunglasses and my gaurdian angel!
i'm much happier now, my ego is back and i'm cocky again! no more bitching and whining for a while, the Asaba-like, i love me so much JD is back with a vengence! so what if i'm pretty much bi-polar?! you know you all love me!
i love this video, i keep laughing and laughing! its so great!
yeah, so my left wrist really hurts, i think i sprained it while i was asleep, either that or its the fact i relapsed and went on a bender of my addiction. either way it really fuckin hurts! i sure hope it gets better by tomorrow, i must train more so i can be like Asaba!
i may just try to get stronger even with one screwed up hand, Hiei did it with his whole dominant arm screwed up.
anyway, does anyone know how to post your YouTube play list
or can help me with setting up back ground music.
also, i put effort into Senshi jokes so if you can learn who he is in the link, or just read the jokes its appreciated.
I know, I know, i'm insane...
i know, i pick really strange topics to rant about, but really its just because i'm trying to find something i can talk about, and i mean whats easier to say a lot about than deep psychological issues? yeah, so as most people post about when they go to the mall, i go "hentai is not arousing to me, my gun is cocked, but i don't ever even think about the trigger, my friend likes to screw popsicles!" come to think of it, did i get a comment telling me there was a song about popsicle violation? hell, i may bring it up, somebody wrote a song about it, now who is wrong?
right now i'm going through a bit of a revolation crisis. see for such a long time i was afraid that no one would ever love me. then someone finally did, but i'm still told i'm not what girls want, so i fear for the future...
see i'm afraid that girls don't like me personality wise. i'm emotional, a good listener, kind, caring, loving, devoted, loyal, affectionate, open, poetic, romantic, sweet, i'm just like a dog, aleways at their side, trying to make them happy as much as possible. but from most sources i'm told girls like the Sasuke type, distant, cold, uncaring, cruel, emotionless, hard to get, dis-interested, unhappy, users, self motivated, basically like cats, here when they want to be, if you give them what they want, and even then they might take it and leave. why do girls want hard to get guys, then complain when they vdon't stay around, why is it that i am everything that every girl says they want, yet except one, none have ever desired me? my doy girls find gay guys like Ryan Seacrest sexy, yet a guy like me who keeps his body clean and soft, smooth and shimmery, with pink sunglasses and well kept nails, gets passed up for smelly, greasy, dirty, jock type muscle brains?
i know that my love is devoted to me, but it seems that girls do not desire that which i am, so therefore eventually my love will get sick of havong a caring person, and want a uncaring hard to get guy. i'm afraid i'm too nice, that i'll get boring or something. its just that no one else ever loved me, so why should she? i'm not good at rejecting those i care about, i can't tease girls i like by ignoring them, or acting like i don't like them, or saying maybe i'll go out with them, maybe not. i can't be cruel, i can't be cold, i can't play mind games and torture people so is it possible anyone would ever love me?
i feel so safe when i'm with the one just for me, like she'll protect me, like i belong with her, that my home is in her arms, to me she is my gaurdian angel. so of course i'm sweet and loving to her, she just makes me so happy, i can't help but want to give all of myself to her. so i guess i'm afraid that she'd rather i was a cold, unfeeling prick like every girl seems to want. i'm afraid my angel will fly away because i'm not what girls want.
do you guys, you girls, my fangirls, or just Female Peoplezez, do you think i sound like a lovable guy, the kind you would want as yours. or would it be better if i was a hate filled prickish Sasuke type?
why do girls want hard to get prick guy, until they get him, then they want a weepy pussy like me?
do guys like me. guys like me? who care about looking good, who cry at movies, who listen and care about feelings, who want to cuddle and snuggle, who will support and love forever and ever, the kind who would jump off a building just to make their love laugh, who are self sacrificing and devoted. is that desrable, to be a loving devoted pretty boy, or am i better off being a cold assholish jock type, and just ignore until i want something, take it, and then become colder.
what is your type ladies?
what do you want?
would you want me if i was available?
am i desirable?
i'm i even usable?
am i even worthy?
i'm so cocky, but its all baed on vanity, or pride in being wanted, if no one wants me, i just lay naked and dying, i was saved before, as i struggled so hard not to give in, and lose myself to the self hatred being alone generated. i guess i wonder, if i'm lost again, will anyone save me?
i'm going to start doing Senshi jokes, like Chuck Norris, except not a 60 year old actor.
they melt like ice, i only use it on the one just for me, and i love hearing how happy it makes her, it makes me so happy that just thinking about it makes me cry tears of joy.
