myOtaku.com: JD Person

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-02-12
Gender
• Male
Location
• in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan
Member Since
• 2005-03-25
Occupation
• slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki
Real Name
• J-D, Got it memorized?

Personal

Achievements
• i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now...
Anime Fan Since
• i first saw Gundam Wing
Favorite Anime
• Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin,
Goals
• to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer.
Hobbies
• writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons
Talents
• annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble

myOtaku.com: JD Person

Sunday, April 29, 2007

minor problems
debating the meaning of the term "minor" always a bad idea when you're talking with Chris Hanson, but right now its perfectly okay, because as far as i know i'm not hunting prey, and also i mean to speak of a different type of minor.

my ability to not bitch about having no interest in where my father was taking me was dubbed a "minor success" i'd call it a relativly big one for me, sacrificing for a person besides Bev, thats something i almost never do, and i do i usually complain like all holy hell over it, because i'm such a self indulgent little bastard, so i'd say going through that boring charity dinner and ending up messing up my whole schedule yet not complaining to my father was amazing for me. because really to anyone besides Bev, i suck.

yep, today we had another solemn conversation based upon the fact i want to see the mom in that stupid phone comercial where the daughter is arguing with her mother in net-speak punch the stupid bitch in the face and exclaim "PWND!" Bev gets all soft voiced and asks if i'd ever really hit our kids, and i had to explain to her that i wouldn't, i guess it does take some getting used to, my sense of humor. and of course i'm not going to hit my kid, even if they did talk to me in acronyms, i'd just tell them that i'm taking away the internet from them until they are fluent in l337 [true l337 is 50% according to my sources, 100% is just being flashy] as much as i'd like to assault a child and yell "PWND" in my mind i know that imagination and reality are two different things, i've learned that painfully time after time, seeing what i believe are cute or romantic gestures laughted or scoffed at, people berating me behind my back over things i thought were great ideas. i know that my mind is an universe onto itself and that most of its more beautiful inhabitants die upon crossing over into this world, so i've decided to stop watching them die in a flaming catastro-fuck in front of me and let them just fade away forgotten into my mind, when acronym bitch goes away the jokes will too, and i'll come up with more strange thoughts that make Bev sad to hear. i'd like to say i'll stop thinking or enjoying my demented thoughts but i don't see that happening any time soon. maybe one day i will evolve or mature so that i don't think things that make her cry, or i grow to hate and resent those thoughts, maybe one day i can become a thing that completly makes her happy, but right now i still fail sometimes, i do the opposite, and i like the thoughts that cause her pain. resolution will be welcomed when it occurs.

mean while in the land of gaming i got the shameless fan service character her bunny costume, it looks good, except her weapon and sheild look a bit strange on it, especially the whip attached by seemingly nothing on her hip, but oh well, it looks a lot cooler than the old one, though that one did say "seductress" a bit more, this is more whimsical and i like it. also my characters gained the ability to go up to super crazy high level focus power, which i like on the fan service girl because then it like "i blow you a kiss with so much power in it vaporizes stone, try to survive this *wink*"

well at this moment i'm listening to Chii sing the song that occurs in Gundam SEED Destiny at the point that fragments of Junius Seven is whiping out whole cities [Fields of Hope] so basically i keep imagining the meteors hitting things and wiping thousands of people from existance as Lacus sings a peppy love song. Man does Rie Tanaka voice characters i find so endearing [even though i actually watched Chobits in Japanese]

i am also kinda sad though, that even though i'm trying hard to be a better a better person,i still do hurt people. basically falling for Bev taught me that my sadism is really a bad thing, so i've really started being nicer to weak things i dislike, i stopped slaughtering insects for fun, as well as i don't hit my dad's dog anymore. i never really did, the moemory of Dustin manipulating me into hurting Shadow all those times as a child, hearing his laughtered, seeing him laugh at the dog's pain, seeing Shadow run away, hide, or growl at me, and seeing Dustun hurt other dogs for fun in my memories, as well as how loving Shadow is to me now, despite my past. how much i love him, Penel and most of all my human lover... feeling deep warm caring feelings, havings this has made me unable to truly hurt another living thing that cannot hurt me, or will not hurt me, but still i was cruel to buddy, like the type of brother that causes children to grow up to be evil, like my brother was to me, he used to chase me down and cover me in price tags from his price gun, which always made me cry more than if he had just hit me, for some reason, and is responcible for my irrational hatred of stickers. but now i'm much kinder to Buddy, i just throw him around, rough housing basically, but i'm kinda klutzy and a little leap before looking prone, so occassionally break things or today i hit his head on the door to a cabinet. i felt bad, really bad, but my father treated me like i did it on purpose, he always does, he thinks i like hurting him, i guess he thinks i never changed, and even if i am kinder to buddy he actsa like i'm just beating the dog with a baseball bat or something, he has no faith in my humanity i guess.

i suppose all this is my burden for my past sins... but i did what i did, and i'll do what i can to atone for it, so that i can forget those sins, and live without all these memories of the bad things i've done.

visit my lover, who, luckily, i've never been cruel to. the proof that my heart is good now.

HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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