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AIM
• Kagato360
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Birthday
• 1990-02-12
Gender
•
Male
Location
• in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan
Member Since
• 2005-03-25
Occupation
• slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki
Real Name
• J-D, Got it memorized?
Personal
Achievements
• i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now...
Anime Fan Since
• i first saw Gundam Wing
Favorite Anime
• Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin,
Goals
• to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer.
Hobbies
• writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons
Talents
• annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble
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Tuesday, June 26, 2007
Chi disruption.
i passed out on the couch a few hours ago and now i just don't feel right, not sick on in pain or anything, i just feel like my brain is failing to pilot my body correctly, i just feel a little akward, sort of a psychic static or a chi disruption, i threw off my mojo i guess. it happens a lot when i pass out like that, i thibk because its sort of a hard shutdown and start-up, so my body's control systems get a little scrambled in the process, i guess i'm the only person who can take a nap and feel bad upon waking up, but then again i'm famous for doing everything the hard way.
well just to get it out of the way, WWE Wrestler Chris Benoit and his family are dead, his wife and kid are dead and so is he, at first they said dsomeone killed them all, now they think Chris killed his family over the weekend and himself today. i really hope that isn't the case, he always seemed like a really cool guy, plus its just always so bad those murder-suicide things, i just can't see anyone like him killing his family like that, on the tribute they actually preempted Vince's "i'm dead" special for all the guys really had respect for him, and they all talked about what a great dad he was, but then again life has a definate kink for the macobre, if existance had a physical form i think it would shop at hot topic, listen to death metal and kill cats with a sledge hammer, in most cases life is fucked up, cruel and dark, so to me a eevoted father slaughtering his child and wife out of some twisted and demented plan then offing himself seems more apt than to imagine that they were killed together by some 3rd party. i guess even my romanticism fails me sometimes, but then again i play the role of the cynic a lot as well so i guess these thoughts are not outside the norm for me.
nothing else can really top that... i just feel strange to try to go into some other topic after that, i don't think i can completly depart from that topic, so i guess if i ramble on enough i'll come up with a spin off topic... there we go.
see my cynicism and romantic idealism seem to alternate and sometimes intertwine, i'll think things like that every girl who i now realize were flirting with me, i thought they were all just pitying and patronizing me, while at the same time i thought if i wired mistletoe to my head it would actually have the desired effect, the latter of the which failed miserably and caused me to break down into tears and just feel like i was alone in the world. i thought that if i bought Dafina little presents all the time and always stayed by her side, if i followed her to the best of my ability and tried to show interest instead of being shy and wishy-washy that she'd eventually share my feelings, whilec still believing inside that maybe it was all pity and really she just saw me as pathetic and weak. now i think she probably thought i was stalking her, and probably cut all tiers she could to me as fast as possible, though the few times i've seen her she did seem friendly it all could have been an act so she wouldn't, in her mind, incur my crazy stalker wrath. though maybe she just forgotm my aim adress, or maybe she lost her password onto her's, there are a billion possibilities, but in most likelihood she will fade from my life, and that time i saw her in Henzi's room after school this year will be the last i ever hear of her, the last contact i'll ever make with her. i took down the picture she drew for me, i don't look in the yearbook i bought for her to sign and for her picture, i try not to remember the wonderful person she appeared to be, if i had known her i feel like i'd want her to be my best friend, because really she did that well, or really she was my senpai [no where near as good as you Grifter-senpai... *nervous laugh*] 2 years older than me and somewhere in that friend/crush area, closer to the former after 9th grade, but all that is probably over, i have no idea why, was i too forward, or to indeceisive? did i talk to her too much or too little? is it my fault or her's? will i ever hear from her again? was it all bullshit? does she miss me? will i forget her? should i forget her? why do i feel like this?
i should just move on, be happy with love and build my life from there, bu i'm just so damn soft-hearted and sentimental, i feel thre same way about my childhood friends, Cory, Kristin, Roy, and now Dafina, these people who i lost in the current of life, one day they will all just be distant memories, or completly gone, and that thought hurts the most.
-Quote-
"Who ever heard of an undertaken holding office hours?! the dead don't die on schedule!"
-Charles Dickins [Doctor Who]
visit my lover, she hasn't scarred my heart and made me feel all melancholy.
HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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