Birthday • 1990-02-12 Gender •
Male Location • in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan Member Since • 2005-03-25 Occupation • slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki Real Name • J-D, Got it memorized?
Personal
Achievements • i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now... Anime Fan Since • i first saw Gundam Wing Favorite Anime • Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin, Goals • to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer. Hobbies • writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons Talents • annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble
myOtaku.com: JD Person
Wednesday, September 26, 2007
Options.
its pretty lame, the way i think. on sunday i thought i'd have my head buried in books for this week trying to catch up, but instead i have plenty of free time, which is not really helping because now i've gotta figure out what i'm going to do and when, being as i have no idea what i'm doing as far as deciding what is the best option to pick at this exact moment.
the one thing i'm pretty freaked out about is making up a test in my math class, being as i probably have to do it after school, well almost definately, i guess i'll try to set it up for friday or something, i really wish i'd talked to the teacher today and set it up for tomorrow but i don't think i'll be able to being as i did not notify my teacher in advance. basically my plans are just all up in the air, i really wish i had a stronger planning ability so i could get this sorted out, but alas its all just floating in the ether right now.
if only i could just take the damn thing home and just do it there, if only i could do this stuff on my honor but i realize its not an option, so i gotta figure out when to do it. luckily its all review for me so its not like it'll be a hard test to take.
ontop of that i've got a project i've got to work on on the computer, so i'm trying to decide if i should visit you guys today and put off doing it til later or just make the visits up later, i think i'll go with the latter so i can feel like i'm doing something, because right now i feel like utter shit. i should probably ask that teacher what day is good for them for me to stay late and do the test, that would probably be the best option.
i really just feel strange now, i'm not really afraid or stressed out or anxious, i just feel wierd, like i'm not normal, something is just off inside me. i guess my current situation is in no way normal so my feelings might just be justified. on top of that i promised myself that i'd take driver's ed soon so that will just be more stress piled atop the stress and strangeness i'm feeling now.
i realize most kids just jump at the chance to take driver's ed but i'm not one of them, to me it just seems like one more thing i'm afraid i'll fail, i'm afraid i'll fail that class, i really should have enrolled over the summer so i'd have a ton of free-time to recover from any stress but that plan fell through being as its almost october. i really have no will to learn to drive, the reason i'm doing this is because i feel bad for my car, everytime we pull up into my dad's driveway i see it just sit there, motionless and unused, and i empathize and pity with it, i sorta feel for it like samurais thought of their swords, i feel like my car needs to be used and it has a soul that i'm ignoring, i feel like its waiting, just for me to take it and wield it as my own. so i have to do this so my poor car will no longer be neglected, i said i'd do it after the first marking period ends and i pretty much have 2 weeks til that happens, i really don't want to do this but i know it must be done.
maybe i'm just a crybaby, a whiny piece of shit emo who gets all "curse the world" everytime stuff doesn't go my way, all this is probably insignificant to a lot of you older more mature people out there, and i really wish i could see how pointless and small my world really is and how miniscule my problems are, i have to just resolve all this shit and get it out of the way, so i can go back to my normal life, which is just as meaningless and small.
here's to me trying to see the world for what it really is and for me to realize how little my problems are and the size of the microverse that i occuppy in scale to the rest of the world. i'm only one in 300 million people, and i should act more like it.
