myOtaku.com: JD Person

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-02-12
Gender
• Male
Location
• in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan
Member Since
• 2005-03-25
Occupation
• slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki
Real Name
• J-D, Got it memorized?

Personal

Achievements
• i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now...
Anime Fan Since
• i first saw Gundam Wing
Favorite Anime
• Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin,
Goals
• to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer.
Hobbies
• writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons
Talents
• annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble

myOtaku.com: JD Person

Sunday, March 5, 2006

last night of freedom.
Well monday i'm back in school, or hell as i call it, so one last midnight post.

now i've realized you guys are right, you can sacrifice without it feeling good, because i knew it was the right thing to do, but i think thayt justification of "the right thing"still makes it slightly self serving.

see i'm not saying that i do it because it feels good to me, i do it because it feels good to her, but i also enjoy it, so i see that as self-serving, in hind-sight i view the way it benefitted me, i still believe that we as as a whole cannot act without a reason or justification, but don't take that as me saying i or others manipulate, our benefits are unknown unknowns, we didn't even know we didn't know it'd feel good.

and if my idea of the best offer possible is petty, then guess what, i'm the most petty person in the universe, if my love is meaningless then my whole life is, this is still the most important and best thing that ever happened to me, so critcize if you want, but i believe in myself and my love, and nothing will ever change that.

and really whats more optimistic and romantic than thinking that you have the best thing that exists? i think thats pretty grand, if anything i'm too romantic, anything short of hallmkark moment seems to come up short, and so far its all been 700 feet tall.

and when i say offer i don't mean i expect anything but love, its not unconditional because i can't love someone who doesn't love me, maybe that is...

i take that back, i can love one who doesn't love me, shit!

but they have to be loveable! theres a condition!

could you love an ugly, poor, arrogant ass with no redeeming qualities what so ever? and i mean not one, because one would be enough.

and i don't see offer as material, its an analogy, fine: situation, relationship, connection, i think i got the best relationship, deal, pick a word. i say deal, because i'm not worthy of who i got. it was a deal, i sure hope theres no return policy!

not that i think she'd ever use it, god its hard to argue with people more cynical and picky than me! god, now ever word has to be perfectly calculated! lighten up, cut me some slack peoplezez!

and people seem to think i take this lightly, i don't when i nsay i love her and enjoy ever moment with her i mean it. i mean that she is my everything, and that her happiness precedes mine.
do you realize what that means to an egomaniac like me, putting another before yourself? its big shit. do you realize what it means to a sore loser to enjoy defeat? to someone who's always wanyed someone to call their own to be owned?

and yes, i love being a dog on a short leash, because if she let me go i'd run right back, so why bother letting me go, i like being owned and owning, but my ownership is that of something so loveable you keep it near you, but as logic says for it to be near you you must be near it, i like it that way. i am ywho i am, i love how i love, i may think in a twisted way but i found someone who excepts my twisted self. maybe i am sick, but i believe its love sick, and no matter what it is i don't want the cure, i love me, alomost as much as her, and she loves me more than herself, so i must be doing something right.

maybe you guys can be selfless, and act for no reason at all, unjustified and unmotivated, for absolutely nothing at all for yourself, well i never met a man who could do that and i sure as hell can't. its always "the right thing," or "for her," or "what makes her happy makes me happy," all of those things make me feel better when i consider the reason 20 minutes later, so i judge them as selfish, nothing i do is solely for another, but i believe its b ecause i enjoy serving her, so if it involves her its fun, and therefore selfish.

maybe my logic is wrong, but its mine, ALL MINE!!!!!!!! MUHAHAHAHA!!!!!!!!!

and you know what, i got two fingers attached to two fists on each hand that are ready to protect myself, my ideas, my dream, my reasons, and my love.

because i am one who eternally fights and feels he must earn everything.

HAIL ZEON!!!!!!

ps i know Bev would be a great artist without me, thats why i thank her a billion times for everything she does for me, sure she doesn't need me, but through the kindness of her heart she does do requests for me, and i'm greatful for that.

and no one better ever excuse me of not being again, because to do so means you don't know me, and if you don't know me you have no right to criticize me.

AGAIN HAIL ZEON!!!!!
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