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Wednesday, May 17, 2006


i give up.
yeah, too many people believe i'm whipped, its really sad, i mean, i'm trying to be nice, i'm normally way to selfish so i try to accomidate her needs, so does that make me whipped? to conciously decide to do what they want because you like to see them happy? is that really being whipped? and yes, she has trained me, but its just because i wanted to learn the right things to do. what am i supposed to act all indifferent and disconnected like usual, am i supposed to treat her like shit, to prove i'm not whipped? how the hell am i supposed to act then!? if what i'm doing is so pathetic then what would be the right thing to do? i really wanna know. excuse me for being nice, for loving someone, and deciciding that pleasing them is more important than my own self. i mean when i talked about only doing what feels good, i wasn't in love was the general concensus, but now, i do try to sacrifice a little and that makes me whipped?

damn it, i mean i don't want to care what other people say, but it does matter, how come i can't do anything right? she loves me sure, but she loves me no matter what, because she needs me, and i need her, so i do my best to keep her happy, so she won't leave me, and everyone sees that as a sign of weakness. if i had to i could retreat into myself and only care what she says, i could be happy that way, but i want to be aware, but it seems awareness only brings shunning from the outside world. so what am i doing wrong?

and what makes me whipped anyway? give me some examples.

great, now i'm less than happy, i don't like to dislike people, but to call me that really gives me a negetive opinion of people, because for me to be whipped, she'd have to whip me, and i refuse to believe she's do that. i refuse to believe that she is some iunderhanded pupeteer pulling my strings from beyond my view. i believe that i choose to be who i am, to serve her because i don't mind it, i'll play dress up and wear tight clothes and goth boots because i think its kinky and fun to do that, i'm an exibityionist at heart, plus, i lovce to hear her voice when she's happy, and i bet her smile is really cute too. so i play along, because i know it makes her happy.

am i that wrong?
that weak?
that pathetic?
am i really whipped for acting like i do?
why am i always wrong?
and why does she always think i'm right?

Quote:
at least stacy believes i'm a good person.

Me: i'm kinda pissed you called me whipped guys, do you guys really think i am?

Stacy: no.

Kitty: no. but i do think you're well trained, and theres nothing wrong with being tied down to a good woman. [kitty leaves, me and stacy sit down.]

Stacy: i don't think you are, i think you're sweet, i have to break my boyfriends arm for him to pay attention to me. she's lucky to have you.

thats it.
i give up.
i guess i am whipped...

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