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AIM
• Kagato360
E-mail
• Click Here
Vitals
Birthday
• 1990-02-12
Gender
•
Male
Location
• in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan
Member Since
• 2005-03-25
Occupation
• slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki
Real Name
• J-D, Got it memorized?
Personal
Achievements
• i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now...
Anime Fan Since
• i first saw Gundam Wing
Favorite Anime
• Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin,
Goals
• to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer.
Hobbies
• writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons
Talents
• annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble
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Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Emotions.
right now, i have a lot of emotions.
i feel a lot.
i always said i wanted to feel, back when i was numb, after Dafina rejected me
i said i wanted to feel, even if it hurt
i thought at this point i'd say that me was wrong
but, i can't say that.
my lab Binkie is dead, i watched her be put to sleep, i carried her to the van, because she could no longer walk, she had sores from not being able to move, and was wet from repeatedly knocking over her water dish trying to move. but she didn't struggle, she let me carry her, she looked happy. my weeny dog tried to stop me, she stood behind the van and wouldn't move, too bad for her she's portable. so i took my first ever pet to the humane society, i watched two people to happy to be human, let alone exicutioners carry Binky off, wrapped in a blanket on a stretcher into the death room, i saw them give her the shot, and she just layed her head down, and never brought it back up. she looked so happy, she knew the pain was over ever since i picked her up. i'm glad she wanted this too.
my weeny dog has been depressed ever since, and my mom cried a lot, i guess i was the only one who stayed composed, i cried when Binkie was there, but i left my tears with her, i cannot cry anymore.
whats sad is that i keep thinking of better ways i could have done it, i could have given her a loaf of bread, it was her favorite food, or let her chew on her favorite toy. but i can't change it, and if i could, i wouldn't want to see her die all over again.
its sad knowing i''l never see her again, or trip over her, brush off all her excess fur, pull out tufts of loose fur, or hear her pant. but i let her die peacefully. i know it was what was for the best.
i have my one thing to keep me happy. all i need is that. as long as i have it i will never be alone. i saw ep.25 of SuperGALS today, that scene at the end with Miyu and Yamato was so touching. very fitting too, for later occurences that i will not discuss here, but i may in a much later post, or pms.
i realized now, that i said i would grow stronger, to earn and deserve love, i believe now is my chance to do that, and i will embrace it. i must do what is hardest to protect what is dearest. thats the best i can put it.
"my speacial one," is from Chobits, guess she does know it better...
yeah, another reason for my emotions, Chobits, damn awesome anime that is the best i ever watched, i curse you for being so right on love, stupid touching love stories. at least Kare Kano was pointless. Asuba is kickass though!
then i watched some crap on TLC, Shalom in the home. this family hated eachother, the father undermined his wife infront of the kid, she was a pussy, the wife, and the kid was satan incarnet.
mom: quit acting like a brat.
girl: did you call me a brat?! *climbs onto her mothers lap, staring her in the eyes* CARE TO CALL ME THAT AGAIN!!!?
mom: *laughs* what if i do?
girl: *hits her in the face* DON"T EVER CALL ME A BRAT AGAIN!!!!!!
but the problem is if you looked at this girls eyes, or talked to her like a human, she was so broken, her voice was a constant whimper.
someone so broken, like a little female me...
i got no sleep last night, afraid to lose my only happiness, so tonight i don't make the same mistake.
the next chapter of Absolute Power will be done as soon as my proof reader helps me with it.
quote:
"i want more than anything to see the smiling faces of those i care most about, but i always just seem to make them cry..."
-Manager Ueda
Chobits
-AP Quotes-
Kit: i do the same thing.
Foxxy; I'm the one that cries.
Aveian: and i'm the one who has to bring them both back to reality.
HAIL ZEON!!!!!!
Comments
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