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AIM
• Kagato360
E-mail
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Vitals
Birthday
• 1990-02-12
Gender
•
Male
Location
• in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan
Member Since
• 2005-03-25
Occupation
• slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki
Real Name
• J-D, Got it memorized?
Personal
Achievements
• i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now...
Anime Fan Since
• i first saw Gundam Wing
Favorite Anime
• Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin,
Goals
• to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer.
Hobbies
• writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons
Talents
• annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble
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Sunday, September 17, 2006
Cynicality!
you will not kill me with your cynasism! and here i was beginning to miss myui's constant contridictions of my every thought, i forgot how much i dislike the questioning of my relationship. i do like having him, and some of my newer friends here but i really cannot think about my beloved in any negative sort of way. my love is the world to me, she is the most important thing there is in my mind. she gives me a purpose to my life, a reason to get out of bed each morning, a reason to be a better person. i noe see the reason i was born is to make her life better and to make her happy. sure, i guess in a jaded way i should expect the worst to happen, that we'll break up, and i'll have to move on. but really, if thats how you're going to view a relationship, why not just break up on sight? i will continue to be overly optimistic and believing it will last forever. i believe i found my soul mate, and 13 monthes say i'm right. i will not "slow things down," i'll move at the speed me and my lover feel like going, people plan shit out too much, what speed to go at, what to say, how to act, it all too bothersome, just follow your heart, thats how i do it, if a person loves you, then they love you for who you are and how you act when you're being yourself, not when you meticulously plan out every aspect of life. you may all say what you will about my love life, possibly i am a naive little fool headed down a road to heartbreak. but i cannot see things that way. if i'm destinied to fail then i'll fail for being myself, not someone else. thank you so much for your advice, but i can't take it. i love my Beverly way too much to ever believe that we are not meant to be together. i found my soul mate, and i'm not ever letting her go. i have finally found my true happiness, to me, life is now paradise.
i don't see why i shoould slow down, how am i going to fast? what is the appropriate speed? how should i know it? i just act the way i feel, and Bev goes along with it, she loves the way i act, she loves me. why should i fear a future i can't imagine? Bev has never done a single thing to get me to even think about breaking up with her. the whole time i'm with her i feel all warm and fuzzy inside.. and not just that, i'm happy around her, she's my lover and friend. i love her and like her, she entertains me, she's funny and fun to be around. there really is no way for me to escape the spell she has over me. there is nothing she wouldn't do for me, and everything she does makes me happy. we always make eachother laugh, we are best friends as well as soul mates. i'm sorry if anyone dubts the validirty of my feelings, or the soldity of my realtionship, but if there is one truth in my mind it is that my Beverly loves me. i generally distrust people, i expect the worst of everyone, i expect ever friend to eventually abandon me, but i never expect that of my Beverly-Lover. no, with her i can imagine her as my prom date, her with me, holding me up in college, helping me acheive some sort of stable life after high school, i see her in her wedding dress, and us sharing a kiss after exchanging vows, me a her side birthing our children, and raising our kids together, growing old and retiring together, and us leaving this world together, one following the other as soon as we leave. for once i finally feel a sense of stability, i'm not a unicycle, i'm now a bike. i can balance, i'm no longer having to force myself to stay together. she is all i know, i know her, i may be naive and gullable, i may not be wise, i may be idealistic, and see a romanticized concept of reality that often causes me pain, but in the end i always hhave Bev's arms to come back to, and that if i just make it through the day, if i just make it til the time, thsat i can hear her voice and everything will be okay. and ya know what, fuck being independent, i now have a person to depend on, so i don't have to walk the painful lonely road anymore.
i'm sorry to all those i offend, but i've waited all my life to have a person to love me, and now that i have her i'm not going to second guess our feelings for eachother.
i thank all of your for your insight, but in the end my heart is the ultimate authority, and it tells me Bev is the one.
my one and only finished reading AP 18, so i'm free to pm it to anyone. also any other chapter for any readers or people who want to become one.
-Quote-
Me: Bev, i'll never leave you. cuz there is no cure in the whole world for this sickness you completly infected me with, called love.
Bev: *crying softly* Your so sweet, and stop making me cry you ass!
HAIL ZEON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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