myOtaku.com: JD Person

myO Still <3's You

Vitals

Birthday
• 1990-02-12
Gender
• Male
Location
• in my own little universe, the entrance to which is somewhere in inkster michigan
Member Since
• 2005-03-25
Occupation
• slacker/writer/brooding mystic/spaz/idiot/confused wandering lost soul/puppy [in joke] Straight, brown haired Eiri Yuki
Real Name
• J-D, Got it memorized?

Personal

Achievements
• i've managed to spend 10 years in school and never had a girlfriend, thats an achievment in its sadness. but i've been in school 12 years now...
Anime Fan Since
• i first saw Gundam Wing
Favorite Anime
• Chobits, Gundam Seed,excel saga, Bleach, Naruto, Ergo Proxy, Blood +, Myhthical Dectective Loki Ragnarok, Makai Senki Disgaea, Tokko, Pucca, Gravitation, Ikki Tousen, Full Metal Panic, Kare Kano, Blue Gender, GITS, Cromartie High, inuyasha,.hack,kenshin,
Goals
• to gain good friends and to meet up with "someone" over the summer.
Hobbies
• writing my Flamer Fic, surfin' the net, training with various weapons
Talents
• annoying people, being crafty in times of trouble

myOtaku.com: JD Person

Friday, September 22, 2006

random post, i know not what to say.
yeah, i'd have to say that i really don't have a predominent idea for my post.

i guess i could try to rant about the fight, being as i think i could easily get a post out of that, maybe.
well yeah, i really can't say i really i won the battle, but i think i won the war. i really wish he had hurt me, i wish i had fought back, but he really didn't hurt me, he didn't get me to panic, or get into a flight or fight mood, so i couldn't really fight him, i feel bad about it, i feel like i betrayed myself, that i wish i could have stood there until he made me feel afraid, so i could have fought back, maybe he really did, being as he wounded my pride. i suppose at times the spirit is easier to break than the body. but then again i am thinking pesimistically, if i look at it this way, that with multiple blows he couldn't even annoy me, i guess it makes it seem like i won. and i did get what i came for, i got my hat, i fufilled the objectives i set for the mission, so what if i took some minor, minor damage, i lost nothing of consequence.

i really don't know, right now my mind seems all clouded and fuzzy, at some points i really feel like i'm not really remembering things, it feels like i'm writing and i have writer's block. i guess i'm lost in my life again, i'm just drifting down a path to nowhere in particular. so i have no idea what i'll do for a living, and i'm questioning my warriors spirit, i question my sanity. i my love tells me shre's hanging out with a male friend, and he teases me that he's going to take her from me, and i throw my fists against my bag until they bleed, yet some pathetic asnd misguided weakling hits me repeatedly, and my soul stays quiet. i don't understand what drives me, i guess love is more important than life to me. or maybe i'm just the kind who can only swing his fists at inanimate objects. but thern again maybe i'm just a coward...
i feel so lost, i wish i could talk to Bev more, i wish she would get online, so i could get her support more than a short time a day. but maybe i'm just reaching out for a crutch. biut i don't know, it seems like just remembering this incident just causes me confusion, i think i'm a lot less strong than i act like, or maybe i'm just prone to secret weaknesses. i need something to be lit inside me again, i need a drive, an ambition, i mean i want to be with Bev in person, but all that requires is that i don't spend my money, i know it will be worth it, but just gather funds is not a real accomplishment anymore. as far as love goes, i'm really happy, i know i'll be with my beloved forever and ever, and no matter how many tyimes i say thats all that matters, i really am uncomfortable thinking that i have no future, i question my own self, what do i want, why do i act, what drives me?
i'm guessing if i was without her i'd be completly lost, so its just by her kindness and love that i am still where i am, but i still fear the future, and i want to know myself better, but what i want to know is beyond my ability to decern, i can't introspect why i feel or act the way i do.
i feel so stupid for letting things shake me, i guess i just need to go up stair and put all my self-doubt into my fists, then i can be purified of all my inner afflictions.
i'm sorry if i don't visit a lot of people today, it just seems like i can't get in the mood to do anything lately.
but i'll always do my best.
hope its good enough.

♥ JD Person ♥
Comments (6)

« Home

Anime | How to Draw Anime | Anime Wallpapers

Top of Page