Tuesday, March 1, 2005

The only reason, I won't cry....
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The past couple of days have been some of the better/worse ones I've had lately. All weekend, I fretted over something I never did, I had some interesting chats, ~_^, and realized how much of an ass I am. Part 1- The Friendship Rant I was talking with this guy anmed Martin the other day about making friends. He told me that any time he's had to move, he's changed so he'll get friends. I couldn't believe that anyone would do that, but it seemed like he was really telling the truth. Now, what kinda bullshit is that? I can't believe that no one would hang out with someone just because they're different. That's just wrong. I mena I realize how mean kids are today. but I mean moving is hard enough, (I should know) but having to change, that jsut doesn't feel right. I know I haven't tried to change or anything, although some people moght have noticed something wtihin the past couple of months. I just can't live in a society where no one will accept difference, and force it to change. Why? [/end rant number 1, start question 1] Part 2- Why I can't decide to anything. For the life of me, I cannot sit and make a decision and then follow through with it. It seems like any time I make a plan, it falls through for some reason. Whether it be my own fear, or my laziness, I have never made a plan and followed through with it for longer than a month. I cannot believe that. I feel like if I can't keep a simple porsmise to myself, how am I going to keep one to my partner in life? Gah, I need to stop thinking over myself so much. Part III, IV, V, and VI, will come tomorrow, and Thursday. ANNOUNCEMENT: Annie has lost her internet, so she will not be coming back until after her training. If you want to talk to her, she'd be more than happy to, but please keep it to one message at a time, and be patient, because she is on a cell phone. ANNIE I'M GONNA MISS YOU!!!!!!

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Tuesday, February 22, 2005

Damnit lad, where ya been?
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Here's the clarifying post a certain bun mistress wanted, and today. Before anyone starts reading this, its kinda angsty and angry feeling, so if your happy today, go away now. The OMG!!!! post. On the 16th, my cousin's grandfather passed away, and its also cointidently, the same day my grandfather passed away. I never knew him, becuase he died the year before I was born. I really wish I could be there for her, but I can't becuase of the ocean. Otherwise, I'd be there, helping. I hate the ocean. I hate it, hate it, hate it. Today Waking up with stomach pains isn't the way to start your day. Also, when the bus drives right by you and you try to run for it but miss it, it doesn't boost your morale. School went OK until about 9th period. There, I find out that the teacher isn't there, but in a most rude way. He makes it look we're the stupid ones when he said that WE needed to wait in the other room. I'm glad he's my Math teacher so I can bitch him out later. I got home today feeling lower than low, and to add to that, I did horribly in my German "thing" today. I feel like 100% nothingless shit, and I just can't handle that. I know its not true, but I'll be damned if it isn't something I've been feeling a lot of lately. Here endth the horrible angst ridden part. I need an iPod, anyone care to buy me one?

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Thursday, February 17, 2005

THE WORLD IS ENDING!!!!!
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I beat Mimmi in Literati 231-223 I just thought you all should know. I'll explain yesterday tomorrow. I hope no one is incredibly worried. If your worried, get me on AIM. Stopped is my new favorite word. 47 points!

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Wednesday, February 16, 2005

Silly Rabbit, Fucking is for Kids!
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I can't do it anymore. I can;t deal with death. Why? Why do people die when I'm a million miles away from the people they left behind? WHY?

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Wednesday, February 9, 2005

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I want to go ahead and warn everyone first. Yesterday/Today was one of the most emmotionaly charged days I've had in a while. I don't think I've ever gone from anger to spite to fear to angst to calm to hyper. To start our day off right let's give it to grandma. She knows how to find the one nerve that keeps you sane, and breaks it. I want to take them (them being the little ones and her) to lunch, seeing as how I have things I need to get done. But no ladies and gents, isn't all. The whole two Kilometers that we walked she complained. "Oh, if we went the other way, we'd be half way there!" and so on. I just wanted to tape her mouth shut honestly! 1) Is that wrong? I leave from Lunch and head home with my little brother in tow. From there, I got to writing and wrote my third installment of my Reanimatrix story and finished it. That was the bonus that almost allowed me a bit of sanity. Sadly, a German lesson and shit that happens later, I was ready to kill someone. I learned that I've been put on a two hour limit for the computer and computer all week. WHAT KIND OF SHIT IS THAT? I also have been thinking about my friend that I left in GA. She was someone that I looked up to and also felt close to. I was watching music videos on Monday night and saw someone that looked like her and a conversation we had right before I left, I remembered something we had talked about before I left. No one get onto me for this, but it was over suicide. The night before I left we had a long four-five hour conversation about just stuff. We cried and talked about her boyfriends, and then as we left that topic, suicide came up. I had slipped it in, and she started telling me about some of the dreams she had a couple of nights of ago. It was her in a bathroom and a empty bottle of Asprin sitting by her, and she watched her life flash by her as she died. She woke up before she died, but it was something that got her thinking about her. Her life's flashes were horrible images of sadness. She had so much pain and suffering in her life, and I told her countless times that suicide wasn't something she wanted. I think she believed me, but seeing her image, it made me think, "Did I help her at all? Is she still alive?" I freaked out so much, that my Sis even got worried. I have no idea what to write now, so I'll just say goodbye.

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Monday, February 7, 2005

:o
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I've forgotten someone, and now I feel horrible. Fanatic I give you this nickname only because when you get into something, you get into it, and that's something I admire about you. You've done so much in your lifespan, that sometimes I wish I could so some of the things that you've done. You in my book get a freakin' A in everything. You've been there for me, through the thick and thin, and I've tried to be there for you. I hope we can keep this up, and that neither one of us leaves, because then the other would be sad, lol.

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*tear* I'd just like to thank.....
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AS the title states, today I want to say thanks to a couple of people. First off, Goddess You have always been an open ear for me, and you have no idea how much that helps me. Your also great at humor, and I also really appreciate that. But the thing that your always up for is Literati, and I think that's the best non-writing escape I have from my problems. Rock on! Owner From the carrier, to the Bad Puppy= No treats and long time outs plan, you've always been there with your sense of humor. It was you who got me into flashplayer, Foamy, and Ctrl+Alt+Del. She who has a good sense of humor, and she of the video games, she who rules the world of her with an iron fist! Twin Sis Your my twin sister, and I couldn't love you anymore for it. It seems like you and I have lived the same problems, and we relate so well. I sit in antcipation some days, waiting for you so I can tell you the big news of the day. Jay Jay the not Jet Plane. You're always there with some kind of stupid fun that only you and I would understand. Even if we're both brain dead and about fall over we can always find something funny and poke fun at it for an hour. I thank you the most for our little RPG. I've yet to find anyone that matches our quick thinking drama. Maybe we finish it soon. Only time will tell! Lover of the Goddess You were the first person I befriended on OB. I don't know how I would have made it through some of the rockier parts of my young life if not for you. You've always been known to help people, but to me it always seemed that it was more than help. It was words to live by. Some of the things you said, I still take in account for when I do things. I have probably missed some people, but right now, these people are the people I would turn to in a criss and know they could handle it. You all have a hats off from me, and your also my Nifty 5. ~_^

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Monday, January 31, 2005

Lemons suck@!
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I've got a surprize for you all, loyal readers. I've decided to novelize that little chat Miss Jamie and I've been having, so here is the Prolougue in it's Prolouguey glory. Prologue - N00b hunters? Jamie and Josh sat in the mall, sipping coffee. They had decided that coffee would be the best way for them to enjoy some quiet time and chat. As they sipped, things such as love, and cheese came up. As the days seemed to slip by, the friendship grew. At one point, the two began to spout off ideas about RPGs, and something came to them. Josh suddenly stood up, and walked off, not saying anything. He picked up his pace and began an all sprint into the nearest department store. Jamie gave chase, trying desperately to fight the flow of people, and keep some form of speed. When she finally got the store, she realized she wasn’t going to find him, so she went shopping instead. As she went around through the various clothes, she noticed a small sound coming from the lingerie part of the store. As she crept into the store, she sprung on the dark shape crouched by a rack of bras. “Aha! Got you!” she said, pulling something out by the ear. “Ow, that really hurts!” Josh said, half-heartedly tugging at Jamie’s arm. “You should have thought about that when you…. Wow, I really like that skirt. Keep guard while I try it on.” Jamie said, grabbing the skirt, and walking into the changing room. Josh whipped out a water pistol and paced back and forth, almost comically. When Jamie came out, she immediately asked, “How do I look?” doing a little turn. Josh looked, and scratched his chin. “You look marvelous darling, simply marvelous.” He said, pronouncing marvelous, mahr-ve-alous. Josh stared at Jamie for a second, waiting for a laugh. All she did was stare out the window and turned even paler. “What’s up with you?” Josh asked, looking around. “Um, Josh, what the hell is that?” she said, pointing to the window. There sat the most disgusting thing you could have ever thought of in your life. It was a monkey which was as much as you could tell. It’s muzzle was a rounded and came out only about a couple of inches. It had a small rod coming out of its head, and slime dripped out of the muzzle. It was a greenish color, and seemed to almost glow in the darkness of the mall. “Wait a second, when did the mall get dark?” Josh asked, looking around dumbly. “Just let the idiot get on with the story Josh, I want to kill things now.” Jamie said, grabbing a shotgun out of thin air. “Hey, I can do that too!” Josh said, pulling a grenade out from behind Jamie’s ear. “That was just up your sleeve.” Jamie said, rolling her eyes. “But I have magic sleeves!” Josh said in protest, pulling a rabbit out. Suddenly, a blonde member of the audience let out a scream. “In all my years, never has such an atrocity been pulled from one’s sleeve. If I still had my powers, I would curse you into a world filled with people eating bunnies!” she said, storming out of the building. “Can I get back to my description of the horrendous thing in front of all of you idiots?” the announcer asked, trying to sound mean. “No, I want to skip ahead.” Jamie said, cocking the gun. “Before the loud mouth above us started rattling off, I was going to tell you that I had ordered a zombie killing monkey for us. I guess it arrived.” Josh said, walking over to it with a strip of meat. The monkey sniffed it, and then grabbed it with lightening speed, gobbling it down. “Wow, he should be…” Jamie began to say. The floor suddenly opened from under the monkey and he fell, and a few seconds later, a splat that sounded of impalement reached the twosome’s ears. “I really liked that one. I won’t be buying another.” Josh said, shaking. “Are you OK Josh?” Jamie said, looking concerned. Josh at this bust out laughing. “OK, I tried, but that thing was so freaky!” Jamie suddenly whipped her head around and saw a shadow slinking off, a controller looking shadow in its hands. “Josh, I think that shadow killed the monkey. Want to kill it?” “Sounds better than standing around here.” Josh said, cocking his shotgun. “Hey, where.. Oh never mind.” Jamie said rolling her eyes. The two began down the aisle of the department store, guns at the ready. As Josh looked left, Jamie looked right. As they passed through shoes, men’s, and underwear, the pair realized that in the short time they had spent with the monkey, the entire mall had been vacated. “Damn, people move fast.” Jamie said, walking out of the store, as they followed the shadow’s trail of, well, shadows. They began to feel a sense of deja-vu as the twists and turns lead them to a dead end near the food court. They began to hear noises, and approached the dark corner from which they came from. “Josh, is that what I think it is?” Jamie said, a green tint sneaking into her face. “If you think it’s two n00bs locked in a serious orgy, then yes, it is.” Josh said, turning away. Suddenly the two were splashed with some white, sticky substance, and as they wiped it from them, the two of them vomited. “Never again. Will we follow a trail.” Jamie said, wiping her face. “I agree.” Josh said, pulling off his shirt. The entire room became silent as everyone stared. Josh grabbed the shirt that sat conveniently lay next him and threw it on. Jamie smiled, then stole it, tossing it into the wind. Jamie suddenly notices that the two n00bs were watching, and the girl suddenly rushed at Josh, screaming, “OMFG!!!111! /-/e 15/ teh sexah!!1! LOLOLO!!11” She suddenly pounced on our hero and began to grab his face. His struggled with her for a few seconds, and finally threw her off. He then proceeded to pull out a knife and perform a finishing move like Alex in Eternal Darkness. The n00b squirmed, and then died. Josh began to gloat, and then stop as a second n00b started to hump his leg. Jamie gave Josh a little smile and a wave. Josh shot her an incredibly dirty look, then blasted the n00b’s brains with his shotgun. Smiling rudely at Jamie, he squatted and looked at the n00b he had stabbed. It lay dead, it’s eyes glazed open. “I don’t like n00bs.” Josh said, noticing there was still the male n00b standing there. “Jamie, for the theft of my shirt, I must force you to lose your shirt and face the wrath of a horny n00b.” he said smiling. He picked up his shirt and turned around. “Whenever you’re ready.” Jamie gave Josh a dirty look, then took her shirt off. The male n00b immediately shot towards Jamie, and started to unzip it’s pants. Jamie had a grossed out look fall over her face as she threw a grenade at the thing. It stopped, looked down, and was then blown into bits. Jamie stuck her tongue out at Josh, then picked up her shotgun. Josh looked down at his shirt, and realized it wasn’t his. It was all silky and blue. Josh looked at Jamie funny as she began to touch the shirt. She then changed into a silky silver shirt and looked at Josh. Instead of touching her shirt, Josh grabbed a raccoon and began to pet it. Jamie looked around, found a target, and blew off an n00bs head. She laughed at the bloodshed, and then stared at Josh who stood with a bratwurst and some fries on a plate. Jamie, then walked over to one of the n00b’s tables and sat down, and grabbed a plate of spaghetti. Josh looked at her as if she was crazy, and then grabbed a grenade. He pulled the pin, and threw it over to the table, hoping that Jamie was paying attention. She looked up, and suddenly took a great leap up from the table, and began to run. She jumped up and hid behind a table, just as the explosion ripped through the cafeteria. The area was splattered SPAM, covering anything and everything. Josh looked over his table and Jamie too. They waved, and then walked over to meet each other. “Jamie, I think we’re done with n00bs for now. You ready to give up?” Josh said, looking nervous. “Of course. We can move back to zombies.” Jamie said, looking around. Suddenly, the world blacked out, and the two friends disappeared.

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Saturday, January 22, 2005

Which Way Did He Go?
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YO! I am back ladies and gents. After a nine day fun filled ski trip, Josh is back! So, want the details? Too bad! I'm being lazy and I'll get 'em later! The other option is to stalk me on AIM, but I warn you, I'm not in the moodiest mood ever, so prepare for increased sillyness.

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Saturday, January 8, 2005

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You know what? I've been thinking, and I realized something. I know all kinds of things about everyone out there, but no one knows alot about me. So, today, somethings will be thrown into the open. Things You Already Know - My middle name - I like No Doubt, cheese, shiney, Half Life 2, and AIM. - I'm 15. - I live in Germany. - I love to write. Things You May Not Know - I like to read Stephen King, even if I do get scared at night. - I do not like the dark at all. - I also like to watch Zombie movies. (See Extra Note on the Stephen King books) - I cry in sad movies. - I think "Donkey Konga is the most interesting game I've ever played for Gamecube. Yep, that's about it. Yesh, I know, "That's Nothing!", but I'm waiting for the special moment to unveil everything. *coPictureugh* Hopefully everyone is recovering from the first week back in school. I know I haven't been to school in a year. I laugh my ass off at all of you! Much Love, JJ PS: If anyone is interested, I need help with my new myO background for 2005.

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