Wednesday, October 13, 2004

People in Kansas are too fucking stupid to have a right to exist.
(note: if you're offended by cussing in excess, don't read this. I need to vent pretty bad.)

People in Kansas are major fuckheads. I could end this here, just by saying that, and I would hardly be stereotyping. There's maybe four non-fuckheads in Kansas. The rest of them? A bunch of inane shitcocks who couldn't tell an improvement from their own asses.

Ok, background: As most of you know, my dad, after closing down our restaraunt in Louisiana, got a job up here in Kansas heading up food service for the little shits at Ottawa University. The guy who used to do this was a moron, no exaggeration. When he left, he left a lot of messes (both figuratively and literally) that we're still trying to get cleaned up. When we came up here, the food tasted like someone pissed on a piece of poster board; so we've basically done a lot to improve around here.

But today, a poll came back saying that 99% of the people on meal plans were dissatisfied with the food program. I understand what you must be thinking:

"Well, John, your opinion is just a bit biased, don't you think? I mean, the success of this operation ultimately determines the course of your life, and obviously things have gotten much worse since your dad started overseeing the food service."

Bullshit.

Some of the main complaints were that

1. The [two] lines that serve food were flip-flopped, thus putting the better food further away.

and

2. The students didn't like the peppers and onions that were being put in the food. They want more pure meat.

First of all, why the fuck do you state a complaint because you have to walk several yards further? Putting the better food further away makes less people want to go over and get it, thus reducing the food served and the amount needed to cook for the next day, thus lowering the cost of your meal plans, you dumb sons of bitches. But you're probably too wrapped up in your fucking football, which is obviously going to get you somewhere in the real world, to consider that, aren't you?

And while we're on the subject of athletics, which is very big at this school, eat your fucking vegetables, you whiny bastards! If all your puny intellect allows you to excel in is running around on a field in tight pants, slapping your teammates on the asses, and taking group showers, then at least observe one of the most basic rules of fitness, that eating vegetables (or at least not eating nothing but meat) plays a major role in keeping you fit. People here are stupid.

And not only is it in this issue that it's shown how stupid Kanzans are, it's almost every one I've met so far! People in Kansas are stupid and bland and lack almost any positive qualities.

That's why I'm going to pitch an idea at our new president (it would be most effective after the election, when not as much is politically at stake) to both help rid our nation of imbeciles and get rid of our excess nukes. You guessed it, I propose that the government should


BLOW KANSAS INTO FUCKING HIGH ORBIT



I'm backing this crap up, too! Click here to sign the petition.


So now that I'm done venting, and I've made an action towards a good cause, I feel much better. Have a good day! ^_^
Comments (3)