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Friday, June 8, 2007


   8/6-07
Seems like life is going pretty damn bad right now... I don't know if people reading this cares but atleast I get it out of my system.

Everybody expects me to be in a different way. Mom, my sister, mom's girlfriend, dad, everybody wants me to be somebody I'm not. I'm tired of it.Everything I do apparently is wrong to them and I'm afraid of losing control. That's my biggest fear. It wasn't like yesterday I ran away from home and showed up at Joel's place in the middle of the night. I just had it, you know? Joel's my sanctuary. Especially since I broke up with my boyfriend. God I can't believe he ditched me. Without Joel I would be lost now. I feel kind of sorry for him to have to put up with me running away from home and waking up his whole neighbourhood. He's the one that's keeping me whole right now. Maybe that's what my ex didn't manage to do? Anyway I feel that with Joel's help, I'm going to gain, and keep, controle.

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