Wednesday, August 17, 2005

   2day so far
2day was prety good over all i was able 2 sleep untill 9:15 then i got up 2 go 2 school and got there and it was fun i am not realy trying 2 make friends like i ues 2 all the outher years idk y it is like i am not trying 2 make friends this year i am just there i talk 2 who ever talkes 2 me and who ever sits at my tables but i dont go out of my way 2 talk 2 ppl any more like i ues 2 i guess it is b/c i have 2 many friends or the fact that i am not there in the morning or after school b/c i have 1st and 7th off and i leve with friends i already have 4 lunch ....... o-well i think i have only seen about 3 ppl that i would want 2 go out of my way 2 meet 1 person who i dont think i have even seen yet buy my friends know her and want me 2 meet her 1 girl that well i already know but she is realy cool she ues 2 be in 1 of my classes last year and i saw her every now and then at lil es stables but she is realy sweet and this outher girl who i dont even know but she is in my alg 2 class and she seems shy but i want 2 get 2 know her b/c she seems cool ive been trying 2 hang out with lil e but that hasent been working out b/c every time i say her lets hang out she never can wheach i understand b/c school is about 2 start 4 her 2moro but kinda sux b/c i miss seeing her :-( i need 2 call up cici i might 2day b/c i havent seen her any time recent and it kinda sux i need 2 find out how shes been doing and about the stuff that has been going on in her life and i am happy b/c i talked 2 jena and that was fun her and i talked about whats been new with her and how life has been treeting her i finly got my car inspected and when i was up there i saw my home girls older brouther and that was fun we were talking 4 about 20 min or so and then after words tords the end of our conversation i found out he was her older brouther but that was fun and then he left soi was sitting there bored so i called cori and it was weird b/c some 1 told her that i said some stuff about she was laying on me and some thing about how ive been telling ppl that stuff like i am bragging about it and what i dont under stand is the fact that i lissen 2 every 1s life and i always here what ppl have 2 say but i dont realy talk 2 any 1 about any thing personal only ppl i talk 2 are cori my older brouther and some times every now and then mat and my brouther meat her 1 time mat knows as mutch as yall know and cori kinda hurt me when she said that she dosent know what 2 think of me any more b/c if any 1 knew me better than my brouther it would be cori even ppl i dont tell as mutch stuff 2 like cici jena lil e and a slect fiew know that i dont spred romers i dont gosiup and unless u are 50 asking me how fast i was going or my prents asking me y i was late im not going 2 lie 2 u and i honestly have no idea who told her that and y she bleved it b/c what do i have 2 prove?....... the way i live my life is like this if yall want 2 know about me just ask what ever u ask ill answer im not shy about any thing i lissen 2 what ever ppl have 2 say but i am not randomly open with my feelings and all of my thoughts unless u ask me 2 or i can trust you enugh 2 be like that with you if u ask me my openion about things u might ant 2 think twice b/c im not going 2 suger coght it and i am going 2 tell you exactly how i feel or what i think u may like what i have 2 say and u may not i dont care what u think about me b/c in most cases ur thoughts dont afect my futcher i dont show off or brag about things b/c that dosent realy help me in any way im not 1 2 "kiss and tell" and im not some 1 who wants 2 get layed b/c althou it would be nice i restrain my slfe form thinking with my dick and i would rather think with my head and act on whats going 2 better my life and help outhers rather than whats goung 2 plusure my mind and fuck outhers i try 2 be there 4 outhers b/c i am 1 2 say form exprence that every 1 needs a sholder 2 cry on i would rather screw my slfe over 2 help some 1 out than make my slfe look good but make some 1 else look bad....... and idk but i thought she knew that stuff about me and i was suprised that she dident question it when some 1 said i said some thing that "i said" b4 riliseing that i would bend ovrt back words and castrait my slfe b4 i would do any thing that i thought would hurt her..... over all i dont blaime her 4 being upset with me thou b/c not knowing how i like 2 live my life then hearing that would even upset me but the fact that i never would do any thing like that is what gets me the most and i just hope that we are able 2 patch things up b/c the last thing i would ever want is 4 my world 2 come crashing down on me agen and having 2 bild it up anew ...... but hey my day isent over yet it is only 5 right now i still have a outher 8 hrs b4 i go 2 sleep so i better get started with the rest of my day and ill probly tell yall about it 2night like i normaly do uless i deside 2 go 2 sleep and in that case well then yall will find out sooner or latter
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