Saturday, May 15, 2004

My Friends...
My friends are like me, strange, krazy, and well part of the outkast. But sometimes I wonder, are they really my friends? ee me and my two of friends, along with an ex-friend ride the bus together. But they don't really talk to me, they immedately cling to my ex-friend, like they're her pet or something. So I am left sitting there, by myself...with nothing to do, but look out the window. I've informed them how I hate sitting by myself day after day, they improved, but only in the slightest. When me and my ex-friend were best friends, I would still sit by myself. I would love for some one to come talk to me (I'm not the kind of person who would talk first). So one day I told them, I told all of them...They listened...and one of them, cried. I didn't really wanted to hurt them that day, but I ended up doing so. I started to feel bad, then thought about how much it hurt to think they don't really care how lonely I felt. For awhile after that, after about 10 minutes by myself they'd see me and talk to me. But sometimes I was to furious at them to talk back...The only reason, well the only reason I saw that they'd talk to me is because my ex-best friend would notice and actually feel guilty and come talk to me. I guess they were a good friend. But ever since me and my ex-best friend weren't friends, I've found myself lonlier than ever. They cling to her, and never seem to talk to me. I guess out of my 'five' friends I only have two, and those two eren't really mentioned in this paragraph at all. But one is on the line between just a friend and best friend. She isn't the quickest person alive, but she's a great person. I just wish my 'friends' would notice how much it hurts, and how much I've changed becuase of this. Due to so many painful experiances, I see that I can't really feel any emotion. I can seem happy, but I sometimes think, am I just acting? And because of all this, I wonder, are they really my friends?
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Saturday, August 9, 2003

   Life and unfair and cruel it can be...yet be good
AHHHHH!!!!!! MY HEAD IT HURTS SOOOO MUCH!!!!!! Anyways, life isn't always kind. Like now my head it hurting like crazy. I hate when I get headaches. It makes me think that maybe my brain will shut down, and that my friend worries me. I doubt you have ever heard of some one's brain shutting down. Well the person can't eat or do anything by themselves. Once their brain is gone their nerves are gone also, so you can't do anything. Life can be rewarding though. I was able to see my friend whom I hadn't seen for a couple of months now. I also had so much fun today. I usally have had stress lately, but it's because of work. Lately i haven't had any work, so I'm glad. That's all for now. Remember when life gives you lemons throw them at other people.
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