Tuesday, February 28, 2006

im bored
LifeeeIsSoForMeee.
January 14, 2006, 02:13:am

Kaay
School was boring today,
I got my report card
I passed everything except math.
I Hateee Math,
I got home called and talk to Shelby for a while
Ate a alot.
got on vanpirefreaks a bit
Talked on the phone with Crystol for about 2 hrs,
Currently on the phone with Antheny right now,
I lovvee him
Beautiful innit?
Tomorrow more should really happen.
Life is so dull.
Anywhore, Imma go.
IluAll.
iKKiNiKKi
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know it was my fother-poem *kinda true but i almost did die*
The pressure is on, tonight I know that I'm going to be killed,
My father is pissed and his wish will finally be furfilled.
I can't get away, so I'll hide and try make some time,
I hope someone else will read this or he'll get away with the crime.
It wasn't suicide, it was murder don't listen to any of his lies,
But if he gets away with this it wouldn't be a surprise.
I'll hide in the closet and muffle my heavy gasp for air,
From this world I'll finally dispair.
I see the knife in his hand, he slowly makes his way up the last stair,
I fade away more in my corner but I can feel his stares.
"IAN!" He finds me and drags me by my hair,
He assures me he's only doing this because he cares.
I'm taked to the bathroom where I recieve my uncalled for beating,
The words, "I love you", is what he keeps repeating.
He throws me down the stairs he's done with the game,
But there's something wrong this time, something isn't the same.
I finally died and it's my father to blame.
I curse him in my last breathe gasping,
My body is dead, I'm slowly colasping.
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lol funny day
today i went downtown. . . again. and i was talking to Antheny and then we went for a smoke then went inside, talked and went for yet another smoke. then he took my smoke and walked away! i was like what the fuck? LOL. it was funny though. it wasnt even my smoke so i dont care haha i bummed it off Crystol. . . oh well, i have no smokes until friday so im bumming all tomorow and tonight. and in JS today, tristan and justin made me sound like a skank =[ cuz i did one fucking thing while i was drunk and they havent done anything. i was like ARG lol. i cant wait till friday, ill be downtown from 3:00 until almost 6:00 lol. ill be with Antheny YAY tee hee, im cool and u love it. well, i wrote a song and such. . . its not that good so shut up. . .here it is
Keep it hidden, don’t set it free
Make it so that they can’t see
Quiet now baby and don’t you cry
Don’t show them you still want to die

Have happy eyes and just smile wide
Keep all the fear and hurt inside
So scared of life but you don’t tell
That your life is like a living hell

No cuts appear, you don’t cause harm
Keep up the act and appear calm
Cool and collected but inside you’re wild
Act like an adult, though you’re a child

Tell people that you believe in love
Pretend that you can rise above
Don’t let them hear your frightened cries
Just keep the tears behind your eyes

They think your happy and feeling good
Because they haven’t seen signs of blood
Too blind to see that you're afraid
Because you’ve hidden in the shade

You haven’t told them that you are scared
You guessed they’d see it if they cared
They don’t sense the fear that’s in your head
How outside you’re smiling, but inside you're dead

The fear in you it paralyses
Can’t cope with change when it arises
When you’ve tried to explain and not deceived
The people you told have not believed

So pretend to them and you that you’re ok
You're getting better, well on your way
But you don’t ever let them know your pain
That way you won’t get hurt again
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cutting
Did you know cutting releases a chemical that makes you feel like you have been crying.

So thats why we do it.
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