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Have you ever been feeling so many shitty emotions at once, that you feel like you'll either puke, or cry? Sadness, happiness/excitment, and anger?
I learned, today, that my mom's mother only has two months to live. It kinda hurts more than it would, because I've spent my whole life hating the woman for everything she's done to my mom. Every time I look at my mom, though, I want to cry. But I don't want to cry for my grandma. I want to cry, because my mom is so sad over this woman who never even gave her the time of day. She pretty much disowned my mom when she moved. It makes me so sad and pisses me off at the same time. I always said that I'd never cry if the woman died, and I seriously think that I never will cry for her. Please comment and tell me if the fact that I'm still crying over Chris, but I'll never cry over my dieing grandmother. My own flesh and blood.
I was so happy just a few minutes ago, though, dispite knowing about my grandma. My uncle Doug (who is acually my dad's best friend.) is clean. He's been having drug issues for as long as I've known him, and he acually stopped coming around me and my sister, because he didn't want us around it. Now that he's not on the drugs anymore, there's a slight chance that I might see him again. ^^ Ask Reoku, chibi-sbg, and Mistral, I talk about him and how much I've missed him all the time. He's the start of my love for Reznor! ^^ He has two kids now. A boy and a girl. I can't wait to see them. Get to know Doug again, and meet his kids.
I don't know what's wrong with me, so, if anyone finds out, please tell me.
Much love
~Kaatje^.>
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