Saturday, November 1, 2003

I hate you.

3 days ago… I… I made some harsh decisions. I said some mean things… and, I made someone feel like crap.

Where had you been all my life? What have you done for me? There is no way for me to forgive you…

He walked through the door, rather tall, casual dresser, no trench coats like in the movies. >_<” Heh, The boys’ faces lit up and all of them in unison cried out; “DAD!”

Me On the other hand, I stayed on the couch. Now, I never told anyone here at OB about this… I don’t think anyway, but my father left me when I was 3 months… I HATED him growing up… he never called, he never asked about me, he never left me a note to read when I reached the right age so he could apologize, I needed something!

I tried to sneak up stairs. The stairs creaked as I climbed them slowly and stealthily, trying not to get caught by him. Then, my stupid cat ran past, I stepped on her and she screamed bloody murder, making me freak out and fall down the stairs. (I Was Pretty Embarrassed ^^;)

Me thinks: Oo” Geez, way to go Gianna! You stupid girl!

I rose to my feet. I saw him look up from the boys to see me with my cat who grasped my arm refusing to let go, with my right hand clutching my head in agony.

“Ginny?” His voice curving, giving it a short surprised shriek. “How ya been girlie?”

Now, I know it’s not nice to tease, but who knew this guy had an English accent. Made me wonder a bit >_<” I stood up and threw my cat on to the couch where she hissed at me and ran.

“My name’s not Ginny.”

“Oh? If I recall, we gave you that second middle name… Yeah, it was going to be Gianna Virginia Martinez.”

I shuddered at the thought.

“Virginia?”

“My sisters name, Ginny is a dim version of it… so, I thought we’d name you that.”

He motioned to me asking for a hug. I pulled back.

“DO I KNOW YOU!?”

I never raise my voice, but I made an exception that day.

“It’s me Gin… your old dad”

I just stared. Seeing the disappointed look on the boys’ faces, I slightly shook my head.

Then, my mum stepped in.

“Oh… Gianna this is-“

“Not my father…”

My mother shocked with disbelief to my harsh words. Seeing my “Father’s” face go pale and sad seemed to make me happy deep inside… but a part did hurt.

“But, Gianna, this is—“

“The man that left cause he wanted his children to be a team of six, strong boys, but what he got was five boys, and a girl! So, he left cause that wasn’t what he wanted, making us struggle the first couple years, then, when we finally we catch our balance, he appears and suddenly wants a hug from someone he deserted!”

I really don’t cry much, but I felt the water rising in my eyes. The boys had stepped away from him, acting as though he was a criminal.

“Gin… I know what I did was wrong but--“

"I hate you."

I ignored him and walked upstairs… packed some stuff, took my backpack, and my Cabbot (Rabbit-Cat animals like Ryo-Ohki heh, they do exist, I’ve got one, but she’s white, and makes no noises cause she’s more bunny then cat >_<”)

And my Zidane plushie which is my fave ^^ then, I climbed out my window, waved bye to Alex for a while, and walked myself five blocks over to Camay’s house, where she let me stay until he he left.

That night, I made some stupid decisions… I drank, which, my mum finds okay, as long as I have 1 or 2, but tat night, I can’t recal but next day I had a HUGE hangover. Usually I’m very careful and obedient, but that day, I was hurt… so, I drank my frustrations down the drain, out of the way.

I woke up frustrated, sick, and I accidentally threw up on my Cabbot >_<” I gave her bath, it wasn’t my fault! She was white like the rim of a toilet seat… thought I was in the bathroom… I didn’t go home ‘til this morning… my mum disappointed… and him gone finally.

My brothers gave me slight support, ‘til they all decided to sit on me and beat me up like always o.O”

Now, things are normal… but, I can still feel that hangover inside… plus, my brothers are teasing me. Every time they see me, they hold a beer under my nose, and make me want to throw up… also, when I hit the keys; I hear them twice as loud… it hurts!!!!!

Heh, a rather exciting, week for me. I realize my actions were harsh, stupid, and dumb, but what do I know? I’ve a pyromaniac brother who French’s my dog everyday OO” heh, now, if you’ll excuse me, I’ve an ice pack to attend to, and a hangover from yesterday to work on @.@”
Comments (0)