Saturday, July 2, 2005

   Why Cant I Be LIke Her...
Well I wasnt in the best mood when I wrote this so yeah..

Why cant I be like her...What does she have that I dont? You treat her so much differently than you do me. Youused to look at me that way but now you seem so distant. Is there somethgin wrong with me? Should I just dissapear? Would that make you happy? Would it mae you happy if I was gone? Would you even take the time to notice? Why dont you undertand that I love you? I care about you? But no...You never cared about me. It was always her. She was your first priority even when I was here forst. I was before her, but you dont care. Of course you dont. You never did. You never took to the time to undertand my feelings. I see you kissing her and I just break down. I run away just like I have always done. Just like you said I have always done. I always run, but I have nowhere to run to. I feel as if I just want to scream. I want to cry. Tear my heart out. Even after that you still wouldnt care would you? Of course not! Why would you when youhave someone so perfect in your life? You pay more attention to her. To her feelings. To her sadness. To her love. I am nothing but a faint shadow that follows you. I am not important. I am just there. Thats all I will ever be to you. Just someone there. No one important like she is to you. Are you so blind that you cant tell when I am sad? You cant tell when I am breaking down inside even though I have known you longer than anyone else has? You were like my best freind, but I wanted to be somethign more. Something more meaningful. Something other than just that person who follows you. But I can never be what she is. I cant be your lover. I cant be the perfect girl. Im sorry I am not perfect. Im sorry I cant be what you want me to be or what you thought I could be. I will just dissapear. Maybe then you would be happier. You never seem happy when I am around anyways. So I will go. I will leave you alone with her. I will always miss you, but youw ont even think twice about me will you? Of course not. You never did. My final goodbye is now. My final goodbye will be forever. My final goodbye will be laying on the floor of the ocean. My last goodbye...Is to you my love. The one I had to let go.
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