Friday, July 16, 2004

I wrote this when I was at vacation. With my family. I had to do something seance I couldn't talk to the person I talk to the most...It's just how I feel...


This place...this place called home.
It's supposed to be conforming.
So why isn't it?
His harsh, curl words.
There supposed to be gentle and loving, right?
She just stays quite.
Not wanting to make him even more angry.
I, I don't even want to talk near him, or smile.
My sister and I leave, and are finally alone.
I smile and act like a child, I have fun.
But now, we're back, and the smile don't come.
I'm to afraid to say anything, for he will yell and say that I am wrong.
Is it me?
Am I the failure in this picture?
Why does it seem when I'm with him, everything I do is a mistake?
Maybe I should do him and myself a favor and leave this world forever.
But then, I'm not that brave or strong.
I still have others that love me.
I have a future, I have friends, and I wonderful dog that makes me laugh.
Sometimes it may seem this way, but At least he doesn't live with me, and so I don't have to seem him that much.
I don't know though,
Is it wrong to think of my father this way?
I'm I wrong here...?
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Monday, July 5, 2004

   Not this!
AARRRRRRRGGGGGGGGHHH! I walk my dog every night from any where around 9 to 11 every night. Well, last night This guy start's to walk with me, even though I'm on the phone with my boy friend, and I finally got him to leave me alone after a while, then I went home too. I was talking about it still when I came home, thinking my mother was asleep.....but guess again! So now she knows and is all paranoid with the whole thing about walking the dog at night alone. And so brings us here, tonight, this moment. She had to walk with me tonight 'cause "it's dangerous for a pretty young girl walking alone by herself at night" ARRRGHH! She was soooooooo annoying. She had to bring this huge flashlight with her, and he was shining it at me the whole time, and into other people houses too. Which I don't really cared, but It was something to say at the moment. And the whole time she was asking me where this guy that "followed" me around lived. I was like, "Nope, not telling you!" Huh...She was just so freaking annoying and I was getting really pissed of at her. Like she could really help me if anything did happen anyways! We only walked around once, which I took a different rout, so it was like walking around one time with where I usually walk, and she was already complaining! We had to come home. Gosh. She's so...so...GOSH! .......


(lol) My dog looks high right now! ^_^ HE always makes me laugh no matter how I feel. He was just laying strait with his two front paws crossed, like a gentlemen. (lol) ^_^ I love him! All right, enough complaining about this life today. Bye bye. ^_~

Kaguya
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Sunday, July 4, 2004

   Alone
Sometimes, when I'm at home, I just feel so alone. My father doesn't live with me, but I'm kind of happy about that, and well, my mother ... sometimes it just feel like she wishes I wasn't there. I know that if I told her that, she would probably say that I was wrong. ...But sometimes with the comments she says about me and my friends, it just makes me wonder.
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