Saturday, August 26, 2006

   no.015 //26.08.2006
whoa number 15. entry 15. FUKUNISHI'S NUMBERRR

anyway today is a special saturday
cuz t..t..takuya! ah its been a while since i mentioned him. saw him today in the light light grey hoodie i love so much~. and i saw his lil bro. and this dude who knows takuya and his lil bro who apparently goes to my viet school

SO HAPPY

i spent a lot of time looking at them as well~

and today i was also embarassed. oh the shame. ppl pry into my lovelife too much.

well i also sed 'hi you' to son, and i think i should apologise for saying that. as u can see, im trying not to say 'hi YOU' anymore.

thankyou to the person who told me to change myself.

anyway today was just beautiful. takuya didnt drive today, i wonder why... but he got to sit in the BACK SEAT with his lil bro and someone else. and i thought hes usually the driver or the 'front seat' person. damn he looks like a kid in the back seat.

oh and this guy in my viet class i find extremely cute. well, hes cute xD

odaiji ni minna san
kaizenkaoru--

--owari
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Thursday, August 10, 2006

   no.014 //10.08.2006
well i guess ive given up on love
pretty much cuz i reckon the world is turning its back on me

for example. a very abstract example..

the person i want to talk to isnt wanting to talk to me

the person i talk to act like they dont want to talk to me

so back at you freaks. i dont feel like talking to anyone anymore. this is where my plans for moving out before i turn 30 come in.

i was inspired by alessandro santos from the national soccer team of japan, to go and live in japan. he got his japanese citizenship in 2001. lucky him. i want one too. but my bro sed its better if i keep my citizenship here in aus and live in japan with a visa.

now when the hell did i find myself a smart brother like that

my remote dream of becoming an optometrist has come to an end. i reckon. cuz i cant stand bio. or physics. or maths. but i love chemistry and thats the only subject i'll tolerate.

im planning on doing something... anything that'll get me to work in japan one day. i wanna live there. right now, i wanna start life all over in the shizuoka prefecure, as close to the ecopa or yamaha stadium as much as possible. other locations where i wanna live may come up, but until then, living near soccer stadiums in the shizuoka prefecture is my top priority...

i think im lowering myself to a lower level. as in... optometry, being in the medical area, is considered more 'smart' and higher ranked than that of other careers. suddenly ive changed to something im not even sure about. i want to do something japanese-ish... well... to study japanese in uni, i gotta do 3-4 other 'art' subjects. i got told that maths is art...? and japanese is an art... ???

anyway i'll make my way to japan, and live there. i want to. its what i want to do with the rest of my life. it'll be hard to say goodbye to all the great things and people here... but theyre not gona hold me back. im too independant and antisocial for that 'holding back because of my friends' crap.

and i dont plan on marriage either.

i plan to own a pet cat.

im just happy for that miracle of living the same time as my friends. and for the other people i will soon encounter in the future.

i think ive written long enough... i'll stop.

odaiji ni

kaizenkaoru
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Thursday, July 27, 2006

no.013 //27.07.2006
[copy and pasted from my msn space]

today i age

so today is the day i turn ten-plus-six
and it was a funny day
i spent my bday at my work experience place

but before that, at 00:00:21 i got a bday sms from bunnie boi
then at my morning break got bday sms from baka kitsune-kun [aubrey]
nothing lunch break but sushi and orange juice to kill the raw salmon taste
afternoon break, got bday sms from tien

and i'll get used to raw salmon sushi by the time im 17

the day started off with the usual dusting, but i shall dust no more since ive dusted all the shelves of the whole damn shop. and the place is big too.

heres how the day went..

we got a huge tray of donuts this morning from, i suspect, donut king

one of the staff named chris kept singing "hallelujah"
and told me not to eat all the donuts or i'll end up like him
and a lady told me that i will never end up like a man

plus mrs coyle [homeroom + a.chemistry teacher] came to visit me at 10 in the morning.

i ate two chocolate eclairs today
and two sushi rolls [salmon and crab meat] and three jap men were sitting nearby speaking jap. so it was a like lunch in japan for me. and i was going thru a fukunishi takashi slideshow on my phone whilst eating.

and found these conversations funny

callan: hey have you seen brett?
cat: yeah he's over.... uh...
callan: the bald guy
staff: hes upstairs
callan: HEY BALDIE~! BALDIE?

chris: *looks in the donut tray* NOO ALL THE GOOD ONES ARE GONEEE

*crash* [cat dropped a keyboard]
cat: uh oh
chris: [from the office] trashing the joint now are we?

*crash* [cat dropped a few ink printer cartridges]
brett: ohh you gotta buy that now
cat: NOOOOOOOOO

and got called these names by another staff member named anthony
- step lady [for using the stepladder countless times]
- ladder girl [short statured, high shelf, what do you need to get to da top?]
- label girl [labelling stock...girl]

and he [anthony] also forced me to eat donuts but i ate NONE. i love my choco eclairs

i found quite a few interesting things in the staff area...
- a plate labelled "brett's plate :)"
- a piece of cardboard that says "new and improved fart fanner"
- brett's "What's For Lunch" employee of the month award
- brett's "Got a new car, need a new clutch" employee of the month award
- chris [the one who thinks hes fat and told me not to eat too much donuts] eating healthy
- an optical mouse about 3cm X 8cm [0___0 ADORABLEEE]
- a MICRO SD CARD for phones thats 1cm x 0.8cm and holds ONE GIGABYTE and its CUTEEE
- them flexible foldable waterproof sandproof keyboards that ive seen at the start of my lifetime but decided to brag about it now

all measurements are approximate and are recorded as seen thru the glass window.

meghan sent an email i found funny as well:

HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
HAPPY BIRTHDAY DEAR CATY CAT CAT
HAPPY BIRTHDAY TO YOU
YAY!!!!!!!

ok well you 16 now so love it

SWEET 16 NEVER BEEN KISSED

from meggie

and i laughed at my solitary life! and unlike lizzie, im enjoying every moment of it!

how?

well... here it goes
- i can call any guy cute
- i can call any guy hot
- i can yak on and on about a range of people
- i can love who i choose to love and not worry bout it being mutual

tadaa

and i yakked on and on and i think i should stop

odaiji ni minna-san~

kaizenkaoru
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Saturday, July 8, 2006

   no.012 //08.07.2006
the first entry of the month. well...

im over moogle
well... at least i hope that i am.
i saw takuya today too. he wore white. looked so hot...
but im gonna shine on 'kanayama aki', the other guy i see in church.
i guess i like him but not love. hes a year younger than me and ive never spoken to him...

well i added him as a friend on asiagroove... but i got a long way to go if i wanna speak with him...

i got nothing to say much besides that he has black chucks and i have red. my fave colours. thankyou....

japan always. loving fukunishi takashi and yanagisawa atsushi and kawaguchi yoshikatsu

odaiji ni.
kaizenkaoru
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Monday, June 12, 2006

   no.011 //012.06.2006
okay i'll write long this time since im bored...
today is monday..
yeah i broke this tradition thingy of writing every saturday but hmm... funny...
oh 200506 is the date that is important, yet i wrote nothing cuz takuya didnt come to church. [this line is something only i am to understand]

he didnt come on sat either like i wrote in the last entry. but i saw him after thieu nhi. he went to the 11.30 mass. that traitorrrr!!! saturday IS THE BEST day to go church. that way u have the whole day for yourself. ahh stupid me i shouldnt say that... in fact, even if i do go mass on saturday, my day is still packed on sunday.

but im over takuya. i just reckon hes hot. cute etc. iont care what you think.

sonthebun aka kanayama aki... i may seem like i like him but your eyes are being decieved. i am only obsessed with his major hotness and cute as face!!! why must he be a year 9?? i call him custard bun. i hope to talk to him one day... ONE DAY.... hopefully this saturday..

well well well
moogle
hehe
well hes cute. hes very nice. but hmmm what the heck is this 'STONER' thing anthony and nhan were talking about? dont get me wrong, i know EXACTLY what they are on about, but still. hes not a stoner to me. hes NORMAL. and something else that keeps making me redirect my feelings to him everytime i try to move on. yay someone who can control my feelings using brainpower....??????

okay this is stupid

anyway fangies really on my nerves for pranking me. well yes i pranked him back a couple of times and sent short short short messages that didnt make much sense. in attempt to make him stop. he did stop. slowly. took him long enough.

oh i forgot to mention in my last blog that i had a haircut.. with akanishi jin's fringe~. ah so happy. but yeah i look funny... hard to say that i look normal....

anyway i wont be seeing moogle til after three weeks when term 3 starts. wish me luck this saturday for speaking to custart bun and asking for his msn ^_____________^

owari--
kaizenkaoru

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Saturday, June 10, 2006

no.010 //010.06.2006
hmm i dont think i'll see takuya again
so much for the good nickname that took me forever to think of
oh well
I GOT MY EYES SET ON MY PAST NOW
yes
the guy before takuya
i dont wanna make that mistake again, liking someone who is a complete stranger

but i wont be writing much from now on...
unless something comes up and i have to tell the world wide web about it

owari--
kaizenkaoru
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Saturday, June 3, 2006

no.009 //04.06.2006
love is confusing. yeah it is
btw didnt see takuya
i saw sonthebun
yay yay yay
and moogle
very funny day today
...too late at nite to write anything...got exams

owari
kaizen.kaoru
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Saturday, May 27, 2006

   no.008 //27.05.2006
well i didnt write last week cuz..
TAKUYA DIDNT CUM TO CHURCH LAST WEEK
but he came this week so...

man today was embarassing. my tutor was meant to read out this tongue twister thing, but he made up this love letter crap to moogle. geez. and then at the end i saw 'her' walk wit moogle. why does 'she' always go suck up to the guys i used to like? piss me off but yeah....

at church.. b4 mass started, i went skits at this girl, josephine. lizzies pissed at her too. so i went up this stair thing to look out into nature. akanishi jin popped into my mind [my latest obsession] and i went back into the room when i felt better [around 5.53pm]while up there in the cold, i thought about son and takuya. i wanted them to come or else i'll probably blow up from all this anger. and YES THEY DID COME! MADE MY DAY MAN!

and so, i was a bit happier. but i was happiest when i had to do the bell for the eucharist. instead of ringing the bell, i hit it like.. umm. a drum? lizzie, my lil sis, told me to pretend that the bell is josephine's head. man i had the time of my life. sure, i felt mean, but at that moment, it was stress relief. i felt MUCH better. i wonder if anyone wondered why i hit the bell so hard...

takuya took the eucharist today, and as usual, hed wait at the back for nothing. until the priest finishes giving his occasional speech, he'd leave the church..sadly for me...

i wanted him to stay. oo and when his lil bro came in, he was ducking away from takuya at the door. man that was so cuteeeeeeeeeeee!!! but im surprised that the people who i have never spoken to are the people who make me feel better...

takuya looked kinda.. angry or tough tough cuz..looked kinda mad...iono.. all the other days he looked calm or lost which was cute as... oh he got his blond tips again!!! and his ll bro changed his hair too. looks maaaaad~! man i had this idea of changing my hair so it looks like akanishi jin sorta. i wanna keep long hair, but i want it to look more anime-ish with hmm. gravity-defying bangs. nah too overboard. i want akanishi's fringe. yeah that. heh heh heh

anyway ive spoken enough. did i mention i was over fangie? hell yeah i am. started getting on my nerves, calling me when hes bored geez...

anyway take care anyone who actually reads this. i'll write next week if takuya comes. im not so sure if i love him. im still deciding.

owari,
kaizenkaoru
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Saturday, May 13, 2006

   no.007 //13.05.2006
well TODAY, the day before mother's day, was a reunion at churchie without "super tall guy"
and is also the day i was extra friendly to people at this 'rival school' whos not so much of a rival to me.

tasuki came today and i saw takuya's car come in. ah the beautiful ring to his new name.

anyway i noticed him while playin 2 square wit ben. well, noticed his CAR. but the highlight of this day is...

TAKUYA TOOK THE EUCHARIST.
and man aint his face so cute
and hes skinny as too ><
argh man he should eat more. geez hes way too skinny. but hes hot..
and this is what i noticed about him...
HE HAS SUCH A COOL FACE MAN!!!
sure he may not be the cutest guy around BUT you know.. with me, i go for hmmm... not much of cute.

his face is cool as in... hmmm... HE HAS REALLY REALLY STAND-OUT-ISH DOUBLE EYELIDS. OHH MAN YES HE DOES!! and he shot his eyes at me twice. haha smart guy caught me looking =.="....

anyway im finding myself yet in ANOTHER dilemma.
im sick of dilemmas but they always happen...i have to choose between 3 ppl to follow...

TAKUYA>>FANGIE>MOOGLE
yeah im not giving real names

TAKUYA> ive never spoken to him haha. we just give looks and like, who knows what those looks meant. his age may be a concern to others but i guess im fine with it. ahh man i wish ive spoken to him. im too chicken and by the way, i cant find any chances either. i wonder how far i'll go with him. i cant find a better way to say this so ima go straight out..*ahem* i have never seen him open his mouth. SERIOUSLY I HAVENT. ah man... havent seen him smile. ive seen him eat and like me, he chews with his mouth closed ^^. ah the word 'chews' is so cute.

FANGIE> recently talking on the phone a couple of times. found out he used to like me. his cousin is telling me to forget the other two and go for fangie. i mean do i look desperate? like i thought he thought we were better as friends. he told my friend after he found out about my feelings that he only likes me as a friend. so i went with that. now things might have changed. i dont know what hes thinking. the longest ive liked him for is 2 weeks or so. even when i did have feelings for him, i still reckon he's better.. much better as a friend.

MOOGLE> haha i love this nickname. i liked this guy for 10 months now holy hell. but thats nothing compared to this 2 year longg crush on someone who i see every sunday and i never speak to. but this love is different. he started it. haha i mean it could turn out to be a prank but who knows. it all happened at tutor. last year in winter. yeah... before mass where i have tutor, today... it was all weird. during the second half of tutor, i went to moogle to ATTEMPT to help him with chemistry. i mean i LOVE CHEMISTRY, BUT THE WORK THEY DO AT HIS SCHOOL IS HARD. well cant wait til i do electives chemistry heh heh heh. ANYWAY while i was helping him, his friend pointed out that before i came to his table on the second half, during the first half, moogle was depressed.

"you notice before you came here moogle was all depressed? and now hes happy"

ah nice to know ive brighten someones day. but i thought that quote had another intention. i just told moogle's friend..."nah hes just more attentive to learning" think what you want but id rather have it ['it' aka what i think it is] out from moogle than anyone else. a wise guy taught me that.

now to choose between my three 'michishirube'..
this is hard... ive been enjoying my single life too much XD i havent thought on the ideal person to stick to. i mean i dont want to have a short relationship. in fact i want a relationship that can have fights and everything, so long as we wont be separated.

DILEMMAs SUCK

owari,
kaizen.kaoru
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Saturday, May 6, 2006

   no.006//06.05.2006
ahh man im so happy ^^
i saw takahiro today at churchie. man hes so cute [to me me me]

he scared me a lot [not intentionally]

he came in late [i was scared he wasnt coming]. but i saw his lil bro walking in and i was sooo happy ^^. made my day. then after i made it to the altar i saw him walking in. no dark blue stuff. looking hot today with light grey hoodie and and lite lite lite lite lite lite lite lite cream or whatever cargos ^^. ah looks like my baby keisuke coming to life ^^.

oh and he didnt take the eucharist. lazy...huh...but his lil bro did. smart kid.
at the end, he went out early and omg man... i thought....

'why go this early man. stay longer so i wont miss u as much on weekdays' [ima miss him anyway]

anyway, when i walked out of the church, still in the robes, i saw his car driving out. man i got so upset...[and scared] but..

after packing up and all that stuff, i went downstairs. and THERE HE WAS OMG HE WAS SO FREAKING CUTE. he didnt leave after all [got me scared...^^] the car i saw wasnt his car omg me so dumb. then this lil kid [who i call 'cathys bf'] comes and says hes gonna steal my glasses and shove them down my throat. ahah man i havent done anything to him. and he couldnt even reach my glasses for crying out loud.

back to my guy .. i saw him do the cutest thing hes ever done. he was kicking someone's foot softly. OMG HES SO CUTE. to me it was like he was poking someones foot with his foot and yes i turned away to laugh XDD.

oh.. and another cute thing he did. he RAN TO HIS CAR. man hes so cute when he runs. im beginning to be a freak. when his car drove out, i noticed he had the windscreen washer light thingy. man unfortunately its GREEN. blue wouldve suited it better. i guess because of him, ima start to accept green....cuz i hate it....

at the end, after he drove off, i saw his lil bro. MAN I LOOOOOOVE HIS HAIR. ah inspired me to change one of my original character's hair now...

[[[in fact one of my character's hair was based on takahiro's OLDER bro]]]

ah, how i love takahiro's lil bro's hair. i still still love takahiro's hair,spikey-- like my keisuke fron initial d ^^ but it looks different to other ppl's spiked hair. its one of the best ive seen ^^ im not kiddingggg

anyway i think ive written enough. but somethings come up... whenever i think of takahiro, i think of the guy i used to like, the one i wanna see smiling. *sigh* but that guy already knows about my feelings and did nothing about it so... hmm.. TAKAHIRO!!!

owari,
kaizen.kaoru

[[[oh and btw, ima change his name from FUJISAKI TAKAHIRO to AKIMOTO TAKUYA, based on TAKUYA8 [infinity] from UVERworld cuz i love him so much. the next blog, you will see TAKUYA instead of TAKAHIRO]]]
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