Saturday, April 22, 2006

   no.004 //22.04.2006
the other guy.. who i have left behind...whos not takahiro....
i want to make him smile whenever he frowns ^^
thats all i feel about him now

as for takahiro....
i saw him at church today
i thought i saw his car, but no one was inside and it was 15 minutes before mass started. he wouldnt have come that early...
first i saw his younger brother, then later on, takahiro came in... kinda late.. i was happy to see him. he was wearing really casual stuff... dark blue again ^^

he was sitting with all his other bros..i think he was right on my left side, but right at the back row @_@. i couldnt turn my head and see him.. >< before the eucharist, he went out...[lemme guess...it was a cold day and he needed a trip to da toire] i didnt see him take the eucharist either, just his lil bro. Then at the end, when we [my sister and i] walked back to the prep room [as i call it ^^], we were to back into the church to collect all the things in the church and bring them back to the prep room.

on my way out to get all the stuff, the priest stopped us to thank us for altarserving for him that evening. and i loved that moment. i treasure that moment. that moment is my friend. not cuz i got praised, but takahiro was just walking out of the church. he was pretty close. i felt like hugging him. we made EYE CONTACT. yes im lame, but eye contact.. for me, many thoughts rushed outta my head when my eyes meet someone special's. for me in this case, with takahiro, they were~
'what are you thinking of right now?'
'i like you'
'what coincidence...'
'*smile*'
'i remember at the easter masses.. you came to all of them'
'you sure know how to organise time to go church ^^'
'you look so damn young, how the hell can u be old enough to b a p plater?'
'u look lost'
'you have renji's sideburns'
'where are your blonde tips gone? they were cute as'
'ur hair's black like mine'

and many more ><

its not that i dont like that other guy anymore, its just that i have decided to move on.. kinda.
now, i just wana make sure that other guy is happy...that's how i'll feel satisfied about myself. but he wont let me..in a way... if u are reading this, you ever wondered why i never started a convo wit you, even when u got hurt? you told me that if you were me, you wouldnt care. i had to fight that urge to ask you all those questions building up in my head. it ruined my mood when i couldnt get something out of you.

with takahiro... i want to see him smile.. i mean.. i cant imagine him smiling. hes never smiled....
compared to all his other brothers, hes the most quiet... and stoic i guess. now i really wish i knew him better... i wanna make him smile. that way, i'll feel smiling for hours after that. i wont be that big of a grumpy bum if i can see that smile.

[extras]
some time at the start of the year, we had the chinese new year festivals held in several areas before the main festival. i saw takahiro in the richmond and the footscray fest. i didnt have feelings for him at that time. but i sure thought he was really cute cuz he looked losted.. sorta...

owari
kaizen.kaoru