Thursday, August 10, 2006

   no.014 //10.08.2006
well i guess ive given up on love
pretty much cuz i reckon the world is turning its back on me

for example. a very abstract example..

the person i want to talk to isnt wanting to talk to me

the person i talk to act like they dont want to talk to me

so back at you freaks. i dont feel like talking to anyone anymore. this is where my plans for moving out before i turn 30 come in.

i was inspired by alessandro santos from the national soccer team of japan, to go and live in japan. he got his japanese citizenship in 2001. lucky him. i want one too. but my bro sed its better if i keep my citizenship here in aus and live in japan with a visa.

now when the hell did i find myself a smart brother like that

my remote dream of becoming an optometrist has come to an end. i reckon. cuz i cant stand bio. or physics. or maths. but i love chemistry and thats the only subject i'll tolerate.

im planning on doing something... anything that'll get me to work in japan one day. i wanna live there. right now, i wanna start life all over in the shizuoka prefecure, as close to the ecopa or yamaha stadium as much as possible. other locations where i wanna live may come up, but until then, living near soccer stadiums in the shizuoka prefecture is my top priority...

i think im lowering myself to a lower level. as in... optometry, being in the medical area, is considered more 'smart' and higher ranked than that of other careers. suddenly ive changed to something im not even sure about. i want to do something japanese-ish... well... to study japanese in uni, i gotta do 3-4 other 'art' subjects. i got told that maths is art...? and japanese is an art... ???

anyway i'll make my way to japan, and live there. i want to. its what i want to do with the rest of my life. it'll be hard to say goodbye to all the great things and people here... but theyre not gona hold me back. im too independant and antisocial for that 'holding back because of my friends' crap.

and i dont plan on marriage either.

i plan to own a pet cat.

im just happy for that miracle of living the same time as my friends. and for the other people i will soon encounter in the future.

i think ive written long enough... i'll stop.

odaiji ni

kaizenkaoru