Thursday, February 2, 2006

   TWO FUNNIES
SOMEBODY'S RAISING THEIR CHILD RIGHT!
!
One Nation, "Under GOD"



One day, a six-year-old girl was sitting in a classroom.
The teacher was explaining evolution to the children.
The teacher asked a little boy:

TEACHER:
Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY! :
Yes

TEACHER:
Tommy, do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY:
Yes.

TEACHER:
Go outside and look up and see if you can see the sky.

TOMMY:
Okay.
(He returned a few minutes later)
Yes, I saw the sky.

TEACHER:
Did you see GOD?

TOMMY:
No.

TEACHER:
That's my point.
We can't see GOD because HE isn't there.
HE just doesn't exist.

A little girl spoke up wanting to ask the boy some questions.
The teacher agreed.

LITTLE GIRL:
Tommy, do you see the tree outside?

TOMMY:
Yes.

LITTLE GIRL:
Tommy do you see the grass outside?

TOMMY:
Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL:
Did you see the sky?

TOMMY:
Yessssss!

LITTLE GIRL:
Tommy, do you see the Teacher ?

TOMMY:Yes

LITTLE GIRL:
Do you see her brain?

TOMMY:
No.

LITTLE GIRL:
Then according to what we were taught today,
she doesn't have one.



White Lie Cake

Have you ever told a white lie? You are going to love this.... especially all of the ladies who bake for church events.

Alice Grayson was to bake a cake for the Baptist Church ladies' group bake sale in Tuscaloosa, but she forgot to do it until the last minute. She remembered it the morning of the! bake sale and after rummaging through cabinets she found an angel food cake mix and quickly made it while drying her hair, dressing and helping her son Bryan pack up for Scout camp. But when Alice took the cake from the oven, the center had dropped flat and the cake was horribly disfigured. She said, "Oh dear, there's no time to bake another cake." This cake was so important to Alice because she did so want to fit in at her new church, and in her new community of new friends. So, being inventive, she looked around the house for something to build up the center of the cake. Alice found it in the bathroom -- a roll of toilet paper. She plunked it in and then covered it with icing. Not only did the finished product look beautiful, it looked perfect!

Before she left the house to drop the cake by the church and head for work, Alice woke her daughter Amanda and gave her some money and specific instructions to be at the bake sale the minute it opened at 9:30, and to buy that cake and bring it home. When the daughter arrived at the sale, she found that the attractive perfect cake had already been sold. Amanda grabbed her cell phone and called her Mom.

Alice was horrified. She was beside herself. Everyone would know, what would they think? Oh, my she wailed! She would be ostracized, talked about, ridiculed. All night Alice lay awake in bed thinking about people pointing their fingers at her and talking about her behind her back.

The next day, Alice promised herself that she would try not to think about the cake and she would attend the fancy luncheon/bridal shower at the home of a friend of a friend and try to have a good time. Alice did not really want to attend because the hostess was a snob who more than once had looked down her nose at the fact that Alice was a single parent and not from the founding families of Tuscaloosa, but having already RSVP'd she could not think of a believable excuse to stay home. The meal was elegant, the company was definitely upper crust old South and to Alice's horror, the CAKE in question was presented for dessert.

Alice felt the blood drain from her body when she saw the cake, she started, out of her chair to rush to tell her hostess all about it, but before she could get to her feet, the Mayor's wife said, "What a beautiful cake!" Alice, who was still stunned, sat back in her chair when she heard the hostess (who was a prominent church member) say, Thank you, I baked it myself."

Alice smiled and thought to herself, "GOD is good."

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