Sunday, April 2, 2006

   Anyone.
College is just around the corner and wow, time has flied. Is anyone else freaking out about it like I am? I don't understand this. I just wanna cry sometimes on why I had to grow so fast. Hahaha. That sounds hella corny.

But anyway, really. Think about it. I'll probably be stuck in some new enviroment ... without knowing everyone. I have an idea of where everyone might pick. And all of BEAM seems to be going in different directions. One seems like their going east, the other south, the other north, and the other a bit more west.

Wow. I'm the only on thats pretty much undecided. So what if I dont get into a college I want to go to? What if I'm the dumbest one and their like.. "We'd never have someone like you in our school!"

=_= Thats one of the last things I'm thinking about. Sometimes I just want everything to disappear. Disappear....completely.

I'm trying to get things back to the way they were. Back to when I used to say things like "ohayo!!" and back when I used to get really hyper. Back when life was still life. Back when there wouldnt be any odd silences between me and my friends.

Realization that my time in HNA is almost up? That's kinda scary. And though no one else is worrying about us staying together... I am. It's not even my friends in HNA that im just worried about. I'm worried about my OTHER friends from OTHER schools. Things seem pretty much screwed all around.

To get to a more optimist idea. ..I GUESS everything will be fine. But it really hurts thinking that everyone's just off someplace or arent going to be with you anymore.

Heh. =_= I think I'm gonna go call someone now.
Please comment. If you want.
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Wednesday, February 8, 2006

   Stuff.
Okay okay I know. Everyone's posting up some angry or sad journal, but hey. That's just the way things are right? Maybe February and January are months of extreme emotionality. Hahah. This isn't really much of a depressing journal, I don't really know what it is, but to me, its just a statement.

Going throughout your life, people come and people go. People leave you and some stay with you. Others help you when you're down, others ignore you. Some drop everything to be with you, others just treat you like you're a piece of dust.

If you are one of my IRL friends, you'll know I've been saying "I'm on the edge" alot. I don't know if you all know what I mean by that, but I'll explain it.

I don't know about anyone else, but my friends mean the world to me. Even though when I'm in a bad mood, and I don't show it, they still mean the world to me. And to all you HNA people, Holy Names just tends to eat at my frustration. That's why I'm not as much like myself in Holy Names, then I am, out. I try my best to be there for my friends when they want to talk about something, and I try my hardest to show them I care. I wrote notes to everyone on Christmas on how I felt. I still mean all that, even if one day I seem a little moody.

Now back to the title of this journal. Back up plan. It hurts, SO BADLY, to be the backup plan. And lately, I've been feeling alot of that. I'm not trying to get any pity out of anyone, but I'm just trying to let this all out. I'm not gonna mention any names, but it sure feels like I am at the bottom of your priorities. That's just fine with me. I'm okay, with that, you have a life, lol. But when you plan something with me, when you try to get me excited about something, when you tell me things... don't psych me out just to tell me in the end "Oh well, you know what, I'm going out somewhere today." Because sitting there for HOURS waiting for someone to call, waiting the WHOLE week for one of your friends to say otherwise... and in the end get nothing, it HURTS. Every single time it happens, IT RIPS MY HEART OUT. Corny as that may sound, I'm speaking seriously.

You know what else hurts? When you're thrown over to the side when someone 'new' comes. Okay. So that makes sense, of course spend time with that person. It's good to let it all out. It's good to want to get to know that person. I have no problem with that. But don't completely ignore the people you already HAD in your life. Just because someone new is there, doesn't mean they'll stick with you. Maybe you should try paying attention to friends you've had for years. Now that I think about it, I've been with my HNA friends for 3 years. That's a long time.

Feeling left out and feeling like your not worth anything really hurts. Especially when your friends do it. Especially when it feels like the whole world has forgotten you.

I love my friends. Very much. :heart: I just hope in the end, I'm not one of the people they forget.


SHOUTOUTS-

To Naru: DUDE, You still owe me a night of deep conversations.
To Mimiru: YOU... just hang out with me. Hahah.
To Cho: HAH. You need to hang out with me too. <3
To Rie Anne: HANG OUT WITH ME. I'VE NEVER HUNG OUT WITH YOU when its just like.....US. its always something random. Hahah. we need to actually hang out and watch stuffs.

To all you BEAM people, thanks for being there.

TO all my other friends, thanks for being there too. If you've stuck with me after gradeschool, you must find SOMETHING in me that brings you back. Don't forget me. Please.
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Monday, January 9, 2006

   Bleh
100 visits! Hahah. Yaaaaay. Thanks everyone very much. I'm at school right now and school's gonna start in a few minutes so this is gonna be a pretty fast journal.

I'm tired right now.. and I can't find my cell phone..T__T So I'm gonna go ask someone if I can use their cellphone and call up my house to see if I left it there. My stomach, head..everything is in pain today and I have a presentation that I'm confused about in fourth period. I'm starting to hate that class along with first period, AP Art now. =_=

I kinda just want school to end and get on to summer vacation. How about everyone else? Anyone looking forward to summer vacation? Haaaaah. I think I wanna start planning out my summer now. ^_^ Time to go write a note! Wish my luck everyone! Have a nice and I hope you enjoy your time at school <3

sorry i havent posted at myo for a million years.

goodbye~!
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Friday, December 9, 2005

troublesomeness
i hate troublesome things.
i hate unplanned things.
somehow, i end up doing them anyway.
why the hell does it happen to me? hmmm things turn out good in the end cept i hate FEELING bad while doing troublesome things. IF I DONT FEEL BAD WHILE DOING TROUBLESOME THINGS ITS OK.

ok, random comment. probably no ones gonna ...comment but whatever.
im gonna go and.. study.. with... mimiru???

umm ok. ^^

mawaru is hot
rai is hot

-kaori


Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 19, 2005

   At school
I'm at school right now and usually at this moment, I email people. And while I really want to email someone, I'm not going to cuz I have the feeling in my head that I'm emailing people too much. And since I'm not emailing anyone, I'll satisfy my need to typehere.

I know I haven't updated in a while.... Things have been kinda hectic, although I like this school year. For some reason I do not want Friday to come....and COINCEDENTALLY, this week is going by as FAST as lightning.

Sucks, doesnt it?
I also hate it when people blame me for small things that didn't even have to do with me. What the hell is up with that?

Sorry, this isn't really an informative post, as you can see, I'm not exactly active this morning. School isn't the first place I want to be at this moment.. and there are some annoying little underclassmen next to me all "OMG!! LIKE LIKE OMG!""

... it annoys me.
just a little bit.
whatever.

anyway, I'll probably be heading up to class in three minutes, depending on my mood, I'll probably write in here until that three minutes is up... or I'll just leave now.

....

I think I'll just leave now.

I hope everyone's having a HAPPY life.

ENJOY IT.

-kao
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Sunday, September 25, 2005

   Do re mi!
Do a deer a female deer!
Re a drop of golden sun!
Mi a name I call myself!
Fa a long long way to run!
So a needle pulling thread!
La a note to follow so!
Ti a drink with jam and bread!
That will bring us back to Do!

Do a deer a female deer!
Re a drop of gold sun!
Mi a name I call myselffff
Fa a long long way to run!
So a needle pulling thread!
La a note to follow so!
Ti a drink with jam and bread!
Which wil bring usss baccckk to doo!!!!

do re me fa so la ti do ti do!

>>;

Ok...Had a random sound of music moment there..

I just wanted to post a journal. Hopefully I get at least one comment this time. ^^

Lifes good. AND IT MAKES ME LAUGH.

The Naruto DUB version....they all sound like they're on crack. lmao.

*continues singing*
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Wednesday, September 7, 2005

   School
I'm at school right now..posting..uhhh...yeah..I'm kinda bored and I'm not gonna make this that long because..I'm gonna head to class soon...but..

I'm in a fluff mode.. and there are no fluff things to do here..in ...this ..WONDERFUL school.>>;; *sweatdrops*
okina

i'll...come home..later...around...4ish??! I'M GONNA HUG THE FIRST PERSON THAT COMMENTS ON THIS.

=D


Goodbye!! Have a nice day!!!!!
*Gives you a bag of goodies* Have fun at school! If you're school already started and stuff!

hot guys rule!
i miss mawaru and rai!!!

GOODBYEEE!
Comments (3) | Permalink

Friday, August 19, 2005

   Woah WEIRD.
Wow, today...its weird. I'm happy, but so very emotional. What the heck is that? I dont get it.. -_- I don't really like being like this. lmao...

I mean..I was watching a sitcom today... ..o_o;...and ...it was one of those sad episodes and my eyes all got watery and I almost cried. I don't EVER cry on things like that. o_o; So...why today?

WHATS HAPPENING TO ME? lol!

Yeah..I just wanted to share that somewhere. I really don't understand. I'm really happy too. o_O;..It's not like im depressed about anything.. maybe its just one of those days eh?

Anyway, please comment... I havent really recieved any lately, and it'd be nice to get at least one. ^^-

Thanks everyone!

Oh, and lemme know about your day too!

Comments (2) | Permalink

Saturday, August 6, 2005

   About my day
Yo~! Today has been a very interesting day!! I woke up..yes, I woke up and I went to the mall because I wanted to go shopping. I called my cousin to come with us and ...it ended up my cousin, me, my dad my other cousin and my uncle going. Yes, the car was full and it was HOT today. After that, I went to Uwajimaya, not really, I went close to that to buy some fish, but the petstore was CLOSED. So I had to go to a different VERY EXPENSIVE petstore, and that sucked. And I'm typing really quick right now so sorry if I'm not making any sense right now. So then I went to my cousins house..she ..uhm...did my hair and then we went out in the backyard and just..hung around? After that we went to the airport to pick up some people!!! You know, my friends from new york? and my aunt and their parents and..yeah! You know what I mean. I didn't think we'd be talking so much..but turns out they like rock too...and...GUESS WHAT. They're OTAKU too!! Isn't that cool?! That's the last thing I would've thoguht! Because I was thinking, 'wow when they see my room...I wonder what they're gonna think'. Cuz its so full of anime...hahaha..we're watching ...samurai x right now. =_= I havent seen that dvd since 6th grade. Phew.Anywayz, I think I shall just go. But I really wanted to ...write ya know?

ok. GOODBYE!! sayonara

-kaori

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Saturday, July 23, 2005

   SASUKE'S B-DAY!!!!!!!!
Everyone! I HAD ALOT OF FUN TODAY... AND YOU KNOW WHAT?!

TODAY IS SASUKE'S BIRTHDAY. AND AS NARU-CHAAAN SAYS, IT IS A HOLY DAY.


THIS DAY...IS A DAY THAT SHOULD BE FOREVER FOREVER REMEMBERED. FOR IT IS NOT EVERY DAY IN WHICH WE EXPERIENCE

THE BIRTH..

OF SUCH HOTNESS.

I LOVE YOU SASUKE-KUN!!!

*hugs him forever*

<3 <3

I don't hate you Sasuke-kun!! I'll make you a cake today.
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