Wednesday, December 3, 2003

12:42AM.Wednesday.Dec 3.

Today was a dark blue kind of day. One of those days where things seem so bleak, sad enough to be bad, but not terrible enough to be tradgic. Today was a bad day.

Things really can't start out good when you miss the bus. It's bad enough that you're worried about the stuff you're missing in school, and terrified about what your parents are going to scream at you now, and then you actually have to endure the screaming. It really makes the day very bad.

Then, the cold that you've had for a week or so now progresses into a throat infection, and you lose your voice. This means talking to people all day through a notepad.

I feel for you Beehtoven.

So now, you feel like crap, your throat feels horrible, you feel horrible, and you go home, preparing to get screamed at some more.

That happens. You get into a screamfest with your mother. This greatly worsens your throat condition.

On top of all this...the one thing you've been looking forward to all day, a phone call from one of your good friends in PN, you miss it. The one person who you actually feel like talking to calls you, and you miss the bloody phone call.

Like I said, a bad day.

But moving on to happier topics.

Mimmi, your comment gave me the first 'laugh' of the day. Windex is a really popular, well-known window cleaner here in America. It's a joke from a movie.

So that makes three things that I thought everybody knew about...Windex, Goodwill, and Wal*Mart.

Kinda disturbing how, when you think about it, the constants in your life, most people around the world don't even know about. It's really rather creepy.

And yet...exciting. So many things out there, just waiting to be tried. So many neat, interesting things. Makes me a bit happier, knowing someday I'll be out of here, trying out those things.

That's the only reason I bother trying. Because wasting your life isn't worth it, the best way to rebel is to give them what they want and then throw it in their face.

I'm really rather tired of questioning my emotions...whether or not I really have the right to be angry. Does that really matter? Either way, I'm angry. Deal with it.

Life isn't fair. We should try to make it as fair as we can, but there's a point where you have to stop being selfless, or die.

The hard part is determining where that point is, where it is you come to a stop.

Where is the great equilibrium between rationality and emotion?

I guess I'm still trying to find that. Meanwhile, I'll just have to apologize in advance for all the things I do wrong in the lack of this ultimate knowledge.

Stupid people can only do so much, ya know? ;)

-Karma

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