Thursday, January 6, 2005

Katana's Laws of School
A little more than an hour later, I'm back with my laws of school. This was a freewrite from English class (which I made last night at around 10:30, when it was due today). The entire report turned out to be an even 2,500 characters. XD So here it is.

Don’t Expect Less – Law of Equivalent Exchange
You will never not get homework. And for every class that doesn’t have homework, there is at least one that’ll slam a new project or an essay on you. You will always be sitting at that homework station, trying to figure out just what the teacher wants you to do.

Things Will Always Come Up – Law of Bandism
Whenever you have a concert, you will also have a mountain of homework to do. No matter how much you beg or plead at your teacher, they will not reprieve the work for the night. Which leads me to…

Majority Rules – Law of Bandie Punishment
Not even fifteen percent of the people in your class are in band (with the exception of band itself). Therefore, whenever you have an event that involves band, the teacher doesn’t really care, since they’re losing a maximum of about five people. So while most are relaxed about the six hours of time they have to do homework, the rest of us are panicking to try and finish that science assignment.

Popularity Matters – Law of Chance
Unless you are popular (which means everybody knowing who are you), never get your hopes up for winning something. It doesn’t happen very often.

Good Things Come Afterwards – Law of Graduation
Once you leave that school, a good thing will happen, such as getting new equipment, hiring better teachers, or expanding a certain department. The area you suffered in for lack of supplies will suddenly flourish, making that hard-earned A an easy thing.

Fitness Comes First – Law of Pro-Sports, Anti-Arts
Sports (especially football) will always get more funding/hype than the art department does. So while those jocks are out there, losing on the field and wearing brand spankin’ new uniforms, the school play crew will be struggling to make the set look realistic.

The Short People – Law of Sixth Grade Calcium Defects
Steadily, the average height of a sixth grader will drop from 4’10’’ to 4’4’’ due to lack of calcium intakes by sixth graders. This is why you should listen to your elders and drink your milk.

Wasting Away – Law of Unnoticed Talent
If you have a talent such as writing, drawing, performing, or anything like that, your skills shall never matter in the eyes of the school. Even if you do win some sort of contest, your talents won’t be recognized for more than a day by people who aren’t your friends.

Creepy Teachers – Law of SCARY!
You will more than likely have at lest one creepy teacher throughout your school year, let it be core or encore. They are typically male specimens, who either seem to have a fond interest in the girls, or are sexist and choose only boys.

I think my favorite is "The Short People - Law of Sixth Grade Calcium Defects". XD
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