Sunday, May 7, 2006

Woo... tired. 'Twas a long night and I had to come and clean my room. We have tiles being put into the downstairs, so I'm restricted to going there until Wednesday... teh sux. I spent three hours cleaning my room and it looks mucho bettah. Gotta go... nappy time. e.e -Kawaii Seth<3

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Saturday, May 6, 2006

Sigh... a somewhat sad night.

Time: 11:10 PM Song: Yurameki By: Dir En Grey (Wow... a few days in a row! I'm getting back into J-rock again.) Mood: Filled to the brim. kaerenakute wasuretakute "yurameku" koto no nai ai wo kimi ni ano hi kimi no hitomi kara boku wa kiete ita. mou ima sara boku ni nani ga dekiru no ka nakikuzureru kimi wo mitsume itsumo yori tsuyoku dakishimeta ne. demo kimi wa kawaranai kimi no ai wa mou nai no ima ni natte kizuku nante... kimi wo hontou ni baka da yo boku kore de owari ni shiyou ka? kimi no koto wo omou to naze ka namida ga nagareteta. kimi wo kizutsukeru nante nido to nai. dakara ima made no you itsumo kimi wo dakishimetai. ai wo uragirisugita ne boku wa.... "mo sannen mae ni wa modorenai no ima wa..." naze futari wa deatta no kimi ni nani wo nokoseta no? naze futari wa deaetara sore made machitsuzukeru yo. kaerenakute wasuretakute ima made ijou ni mou ichido omoide sae wasuretakute aishita kokoro ga itakute eien ni ima made ijou ni nai ai wo eien ni futari no ai wa modoranai. ai yori haruka ni omoi uragiri no naka de kimi wa "yurameku" koto mo naku... English Lyrics I cannot return, I want to forget, my love for you that will not "waver" on that day, I vanished from your sight. now it's already too late, what can I do? staring at you as you broke down crying, I embraced you even tighter than usual. but you won't change how I realise it now, your love is already gone... I was truly a fool for you shall we end it here? when I think of you, for some reason my eyes fill with tears. I will never hurt you again. because I want to hold you close like I always did before. I've betrayed our love too much... "now we cannot return to how we were three years ago..." why did the two of us meet? what did I give to you? if there's a chance we could meet again, I'll keep waiting until that time. I cannot return, I want to forget, one more time, more than ever before even my memories I want to forget, my heart that loved you is in pain for all eternity, love like never before for all eternity, our love will not return. with my serious betrayal meaning more than my love, you will never "waver"... -------- Strangely enough, I had absolutely nothing to do when I got home today (Friday, of course since it's night here.) after I updated MyO for the day. I just kinda hung around on the computer, waiting for something interesting to go on. I got so bored I finally switched yahoo screen names... so instead of: icha_icha_paradise_lover it's now: kawaii_seth Easy enough, ne? After all of that, I finally downloaded Flash MX, Dreamweaver MX and Fireworks MX onto my computer. I've been wanting to do that for a while to pick up on things I want to do this summer since I'll have no life... while everyone else is seeming to get theirs already. ... heh... hell, I guess I'm just a late bloomer. -------- I talked to a few people on YIM and we figured out some kind of temporary to our A-kon room-age problem (Basically, it was going to cost a bit much for all of us to still room together... since we're so poor and what not.) and we're going to chat about it with Bishojo Tenshi during the picnic. Picnic = Cosplay picnic here in San Antonio where we talk about up-coming conventions and all of that good stuff. I won't be staying at anyone's houses after said picnic... I feel I just need some time to myself because I'm so much easier to irritate these days. That and the parents just aren't being aggreable right now. So I figured I'll just work on my roleplay character websites and get those up and running ASAP... even though they'll all be quite rushed and turn out craptacular... at least I have one! :3;; -------- I really don't know what else to say. I'm just in one of those moods where I feel upset, but can't place a finger on it. I think I'm just running a little late along the crimson river (Girls, you know what I mean.) and just need to get started before my birthday this month. Yay... I'm turning 16 on the 26th this month. *Sigh.* Two more years... legality hits me and the responsibilities flood in to steal my life away from me. .-. Oh wells. -------- *Pokes Seth.* Seth: *Clings to his pillow.* Awr... he misses his loverboy a lot... I wish I could help him see his "love" more than he does now; poor thing deserves it. Seth: *Stirs in his sleep.* *Lays in bed with Seth.* Seth: *Clings to Kawaii and snuggles into.* Aww... *Whispers.* Goodnight everyone... have a good weekend... -Kawaii Seth<3

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Friday, May 5, 2006

EXCUSE me...

Time: 5:30 PM Song: Cage By: Dir En Grey Mood: Venting, sorry for bad language. shibire wo kirashiteru boku wa mado no chi wo hiki sado no kimi wo matsu dekireba doku no baiser de hitan yue ni bitoku miezu kimi wa saigo no mama de kioku umete kizukarenu you ni saigo no mama tokei wa hidarimawari demo okashita tsumi wa kaereru saisho de saigo no rikaisha yakitsukete iyagaru boku wo mite tsuyoku soshite yasashiku muriyari no tetsudan keshite kimi ni wa ienai kawa no kishimu oto ga itai kizu wo fukamete yukou shittobukai kimi wa itsudemo reiketsu na no? osanai koro no gyakutai ga ne ima demo wasurezu ni itai naze mama wa inai no oshiete yo itsu ka wa yasashisa ni kizuite haha naru "yurikago" no naka de hitsuu yue ni mae ga miezu boku no saigo no mama de semete kimi ni kizukarenu you ni saisho no mama tokei wa hidarimawari demo okashita tsumi wa kaereru saisho de saigo no rikaisha kowashita boku ni wa yasashisugita no ka naa? mukashi no torauma wo utsushi saigo no kimi made kowashita boku wa sado? English impatient the masochist's blood runs in my veins I wait for you, the sadist if I can do it with a poisonous kiss because of sorrow I cannot see virtue you are the last mother the memory buried so that you won't realise the first mother even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed the first and last person who understood me is burned into my memory see me resisting strongly and then kindly forcing a decision I can never tell you the creaking sound of leather hurts me let's make the wound even deeper you, deeply jealous are you always so cold-hearted? even now I don't want to forget the abuse of my childhood why don't I have a mother? tell me... someday I'll realise kindness inside the mother-like "cradle"... because of anguish I cannot see before me my last mother at least, so that you won't realise the first mother even though the clock turns backwards the sin I've committed can't be changed the first and last person who understood me is destroyed were you too kind to me? the reflection of a trauma from long ago I destroyed you, the last one am I a sadist? -------- First of all, I'd like to apologize to all of my IRL friends for actually trying to be a good friend. It seems as if I've made an asshole out of myself just for worrying about everyone. It's just my belief that when you are dating someone... you don't go off and MAKE OUT with another person! I'm sorry for saying all of this, but I quickly lose respect for people that seem incapable of making up their minds. Don't dare try to label me as a hypocrit... yes, I make out with people to pose for pictures or have a good time. I did a few times when I was with Ian, but I certainly don't savor it and get all happy about the kiss either! I shrug it off, say it was fun and then go off on my merry little way. -------- Our group is almost very famous for having our own little drama spots and what-not, but not between the slect few of us that have never fought unless under great pressure; I don't want to start now. Hearing about all of the stuff with the "cheating" on another person just irked me to know end. I didn't know if one person would be REALLY hurt by the event! Hell, I didn't even fucking know if things were going to get worse. Bit I didn't want them to get worse because I don't want any fucking drama in this group! Yes, I worry for all of you on a daily basis and yes, I try to help as much as possible... but when shit like this happens... it greatly upsets me because I thought some people were above all of that! So I got a little pissed and on top of that... I had a lot on my mind. Excuse the fuck out of me. From now on, I'm keeping my mouth shut until someone expresses the need for some advice. -------- I guess my morals are so different from everyone else's or something. Sensei always told me to stand up for I believe in and make something out of it. "It's not a battle unless begun." he used to preach to me all the time. I try to stand up for my morals, but when people are ganging up on me and calling everyone about it... it all just defeats the damn purpose. -------- On top of all of this shit... I come home from school and get THREATENED on MyO though PM! I know exactly who this person is and he's being an idiot just for thinking he can pass himself off with this: "hi you have been located two more members are left to find, i thatthis would be harder to do so mabye i dint have to charge so much ohh well a deals a deal... seth has also been found now i just need to find a&j it shouldnt be to hard by myself though... i am getting paid enough though.. you know you could have thought of more difficult names. oh and a hint of who i am is a song called Mitternacht by Nomine target j should remmember, and mabye you will find my employer but i doubt it ps... this place suck and yall need to get a life pss... i wish my grass was emo so it could cut its self...LOl get u next time target b" (This was sent to me by the username nipple death") Excuse me "Fluffy", but you suck ass and you suck especially with getting away with shit. You shoul give up already because I've won this battle and empty threats will get you nowhere but banned from this community forever. And as targets A and J... you can bend down between your knees and shove your head straight up the thing you call your ass and go rot in a ditch... because no one GIVES A SHIT! -------- *Clears throat.* I'm so sorry for my use of strong language. I've been trying to cut down on how much I've been cussing as of late, but everything just came down on me. .-. Seth: *Hugs Kawaii and pats her.* Bye for now... -Kawaii Seth<3

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Thursday, May 4, 2006

Dream filled sighs corrupt my heart.

Time: ... Song: Pink Killer By: Dir En Grey Mood: Content Bust daiichi no kimi chimeiteki ketsubetsu noirohze Bust daini no kimi wa kuranke tsuke de mo masutaabeshon Bust daisan no kimi shokkaku kirete danchi Bust daiyon no kimi taion wa shinde yuku hennou sekkai Bust daigo no kimi ni sanso wo ataezu shinderu Bust dairoku no kimi setsudanmen okashiteku masutaabeshon Bust dainana no kimi hairan kinou ketsuraku kimi Bust daihachi no kimi haisuikou ni daisan zouki Bust daikyuu no kimi chimeiteki ketsubetsu doutai Bust daijuu no kimi shikkin nure de mo masutaabeshon Bust daiichi no boku ryuusan majiri no kategoraizu Bust daiichininsha wa sennou sareteru kanoke zaijuu giri giri no boku fukan jintai giri giri no boku fuzen jintai giri giri no boku fushoku jintai giri giri no boku furan jintai jintai kara oyobosu aijou jintai kara oyobosu kanjou jintai kara oyobosu kanzou jintai kara oyobosu taiji Dead And Dead, Killing Child dorokeru kara hajikeru kara ikimashou English Lyrics Bust You #1 a fatal neurocis of departure Bust You #2 a long term patient but masterbating. Bust You #3 cut the antennas, cut off the blood Bust You #4 the temperature is dying, cut open that odd brain of yours Bust You #5 dying, deprived of oxygen Bust You #6 even after the cross section you're still masturbating Bust You #7 a tendency for ovulating function failure Bust You #8 the third organ into the drainage canal Bust You #9 completely dismember you down to the trunk of your body. Bust You #10 masturbating eventhough you've soiled yourself in your incontinence. Bust Me #1 Classifying with Salfuric Acid. Bust The recognized authority, brainwashed, in a coffin. This duty is pushing me to the edge, An unfeeling body This duty is pushing me to the edge, An incomplete body This duty is pushing me to the edge, A rotting body This duty is pushing me to the edge, A decomposing body affection born from the body feelings born from the body get rid of the liver from the body get rid of the fetus from the body Dead and Dead Killing Child cause they'll melt apart, cause they'll burst, let's go. -------- Well now… things have been going just fucking peachy for me these days. My grades are finally doing all right (Besides the exception for Geometry, which is my only B.) and everything is jus kind of falling into place as the end of the year approaches. A lot has been going on as far as partying, getting ready for A-kon, doing homework, preparing for captain try-outs and dealing with drama. The overall worst thing so far is just the fact that everyone seems so down these days and it’s really becoming a drag for me to keep my spirits high for everyone. My sleeping order has been restoring itself as of late and I find myself actually being able to sleep more than I used to. I still feel hella tired in the mornings, but that’s just a fault to getting up really early in the mornings and being the third person walking through the door into the school. Even poor Sethy has a lot on his mind and has been sleeping/daydreaming on and off throughout the day. -------- Ian (The ex boyfriend.) called me last night just wanting to talk. We talked about a lot of things as far as how we’ve been doing, how Shiokazecon was for him and about a lot of awkward things that have been going on. He is excited about coming to my sweet 16 this year and seemed like he just couldn’t wait. He said that he really wants to see me again. We brought up the topic on how I can’t go to the mall anymore without feeling troubled because of the fact that I shared too many memories with him there and it hurts a little bit. He said that he gets a little upset when he thinks about us, but it’s better to be happy that it happened… then to be sad that it’s over. I told him that being with him made me probably the happiest I had ever been and he felt the same. We shared memories about A-kon last year and how horrible, but funny it was to us now. We got onto the topic about our break up and I actually found myself tearing up a little, but I was still smiling as we talked to each other. He said that he remembered being really upset and crying all day the day he left me that message on my phone. I told him that he was the first person I really ever cried about for a really long time… I was happy with him and when he broke it off… I felt an emptiness in my heart that made me so uncomfortable. Josh says that the reason I have been single for so long is because no one can ever really fill that void again; as if Ian had left a permanent expression on me and that I’m just looking for someone to make me feel that happiness again… I hope he’s wrong. Seth: When you love someone… you want to spend all of your time with them. And that’s how I felt. Seth: I know, Kawaii…. Are you sad? Of course not. :3 -Kawaii Seth<3

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Wednesday, May 3, 2006

Busy busy!

Total Visits 3037 Popularity Ranking # 296 (out of approximately 45,000 active sites) Total Members 345,877 Thanks to all of you, of course! :D -Kawaii Seth<3

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Tuesday, May 2, 2006

Blah!

I am so sorry for not visiting anyone's sites as of late... I have been far too busy. You can look forward to lots of comments and a decent post from me this weekend though. Once again, sorry, my friends. -Kawaii Seth<3

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Monday, May 1, 2006

I hold onto these memories....

Time: Song: Clowns (Can You See Me Now?) By: T.A.T.U. Mood: Blank Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Can you see? All this weeping in the air Who can tell where it will fall? Through floating forests in the air 'Cross the rolling open sea Blow a kiss, I run through air Leave the past, find nowhere Floating forests in the air Clowns all around you Clowns that only let you know Where you let your senses go Clowns all around you It's a cross I need to bear All this black and cruel despair This is an emergency Don't you hide your eyes from me Open them and see me now Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Floating forests in the air Clowns all around you Can you see Can you see Can you see Can you see me now? See me here in the air Not holding on to anywhere But holding on so beware I have secrets I won't share See me here pushing you If I then deny I do Contemplate or wish away If I ask you not to stay Clowns that only let you know Where you let your senses go Clowns all around you It's a cross I need to bear All this black and cruel despair This is an emergency Don't you hide your eyes from me Open them and see me now Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Clowns all around you Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? -------- Hello everyone! Today's post will be given to Seth... because he's not really social and I feel that he needs to vent a little... so if any of you get confused, here's the rundown. Seth is madly in love with this man and that very man returns the feelings too... But they never get to see each other as much as they like. With their love for each other growing, they're finding it really hard to keep hope for ever being able to spend more than a few hours together every few weeks. Seth never really shows himself at school because he's a naturally nervous person and he doesn't like the school environment very much at all. The person he loves seems to have taken it the wrong way... which, of course, is very understandable. -------- Seth: Kawaii... I really have nothing of great importance to speak of. Kawaii: Nonsense Seth.. you need to talk more than you do these days; can’t you see that it’s constantly upsetting others when you refuse to speak to them… much less show your face? Seth: I guess you are right in a way, but how do I explain myself. I have never been taught to express what my thoughts are… only been taught to keep all of my feelings to myself because no one ever wanted to hear them. How can everyone simply expect me to drop my old habits and attempt to talk and open myself up to all of them… it’s simply overwhelming. I am not the kind of person to simply drop all of my thoughts on everyone else like some do. There is only one person that I can really open up to without much hesitation. He won’t lose his temper with me and he won’t judge me as others tend to do. He never tries to pull me away from my decisions and he respects the fact that I love another… My brother understands me more than everyone else will ever comprehend… but he so far away. Kawaii: Then can’t you share your thoughts with loverboy? He does everything he can to take care of you and make sure you are always as happy as possible. He may not be viewed as the best lover in the world, but he tries Seth. I know that, but he probably has his own problems to worry about.. Kawaii: He worries about you. Do you want to become one of his problems? Of course not! I just…. *Sighs as tears water in his eyes.* … we never see each other much and it seems like he is a total stranger to me at times. Kawaii: *Hands Seth a tissue.* Kawaii? Kawaii: Yes? I miss him… *Breaks down sobbing.* Well now… I’m pretty sure he’ll start feeling better soon enough. I’ll just have to coax him as best as possible for now… e.e; I won’t be able to update MyOtaku much in class anymore due to the fact that this program the teacher has limits website use-age… biotch. Gotta go! -Kawaii Seth<3

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Saturday, April 29, 2006

Oh, wow... my teenage side is showing..

Time: 11:05 PM Song: We Looked Like Giants By: Death Cab for Cutie Mood: For lack of better word, shitty. God bless the daylight, the sugary smell of springtime remembering when you were mine in a still suburban town When every Thursday, I'd brave those mountain passes and you'd skip your early classes and we'd learn how our bodies worked God damn the black night, with all its foul temptations I've become what I always hated when I was with you then We looked like giants in the back of my grey sub-compact fumbling to make contact as the others slept inside and together there in a shroud of frost, the mountain air began to pass through every pane of weathered glass and I held you closer than anyone would ever get Remember the J.A.M.C. and reading aloud from magazines I don't know about you but I swear on my name they could smell it on me But I've never been to good with secrets... ohh... Oh together there in a shroud of frost, the mountain air began to pass through every pane of weathered glass and I held you closer... -------- As requested LadyMalik's button. I'd like to apologize for not getting around to everyone's sites... I've been REALLY busy as of late. e.e; -------- I really have no clue as to why such feelings has all of the sudden broken in to drop-kick me in the ass. I'm just guessing that boredom has led to different thoughts and those different thoughts has led to the shitty mood that I'm in. So, naturally, I'm coming here to rant about it in hopes of getting this crappy mood out of me before the sleepover at Muun Purinsesu's house. I mean, I'm sure everyone's had shitty feelings and have thought about completely shutting yourself off from the world. In all reality, it's quite logical to shut yourself out from the world... it takes away from the pain you very well could have felt in the first place. But you wouldn't really get anywhere without said pain... I just believe that I am nowhere near as fun and exciting as I used to be. My quality has somehow "dropped" and I find it very hard to pick myself up again from losing my "edge" in life. It's just not fun to do the things I used to enjoy doing from weekend to weekend... but what else can one do when they see no other options before them? Seth: *Listens silently.* I've tried doing everything I used to love doing, but going to the mall just isn't as fun as it used to be. I go into Spencer's and remember the group date I went on and can't help but feel horrid about all of the things I witnessed and enjoyed so much; because I know that I'll never feel that ever again. -------- I find myself longing for my summer to return to me. Everything good seemed to happen last summer and once school started... all of the meaningless crap just came back to me and began to suffocate me. The stress is just too much at times and only when I take off this "mask" that I hold up constantly do I ever feel the pressure of the definition "stress". No one ever truly knows the pressure until having felt the full force of the stress that begins to build up. I'm sure everyone has felt this at least one time within their lives and it's an ache that never seems to fade away from the depths of your sheltered mind... does it? Seth: My stress and pain only serves to make me feel stronger for having lived through it all of these years. But that is you Seth... what if what I feel doesn't make me feel stronger... but it makes me feel helpless and weaker than ever before. In all reality, I feel as if I am forbidden from feeling doubt, stress, pain, depression and sadness. I'm the one that always supposed to be happy and keeping everyone out of sadness in our little group. Seth: And I'm sure everyone loves you dearly for doing so, Kawaii. But what will they do once I'm not that same person anymore. What will they think of me when I can't slap a smile on and keep them all laughing some kind of dumb statement or lame joke? Seth: They will still be your friends either way. How can one be so sure about it though? Seth: One cannot be so sure until having gone through it Kawaii. Do not jump to such conclusions until everyone has abandoned you as you fear- Shush! I don't fear being abandoned! What makes you think such a thing? I can live without the luxury of friends. Seth: ... *Sighs.* I need some sleep... I'm thinking and over looking everything. Seth: You do need your friends, Kawaii. And they need you just as much... without each other, all of you would fall apart. *Hugs Seth tightly.* Thanks... *Walks into Seth's room to sleep.* -------- Seth: You would have to excuse the actions of Kawaii. She has been acting strange all day... an arguement began between her and her father and Kawaii did not even bother to defend herself much... I am sure all will be back to normal with her soon enough. *Smiles gently.* She just needs a little time... as most do within such drastic times as this. I might as well be heading off now... may the Gods bestow upon all of you a good night's rest. -------- -Kawaii Seth<3

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Friday, April 28, 2006

ZOMG!

Time: 1:50 PM Song: Buttons By: Pussycat Dolls (I know, I know... but the song has SUCH a cool Egyptian background tune.) Mood: Happy! I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) Typical and hardly the type I fall for I'm liking the physical, don't leave me askin' for more I'm a sexy mama (mama) Who knows just how to get what I wanna (wanna) What I wanna do is bring this on ya (on ya) Backup all the things that I told ya (told ya, told ya, told ya) You've been sayin' all the right things all night long But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off Baby can't you see (see) How these clothes are fittin' on me (me) And the heat comin' from this beat (beat) I'm about to blow, I don't think you know I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) You say you're a big boy, but I can't agree 'Cuz the love you said you had ain't been put on me I wonder (wonder) If I'm just too much for you, wonder (wonder) If my kiss don't make you just wonder (wonder) What I got next for you, what you wanna do (do) Take a chance to recognize that this could be yours I can see just like most guys that your game don't please Baby can't you see (see) How these clothes are fittin' on me (me) And the heat comin' from this beat (beat) I'm about to blow, I don't think you know I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) Come on baby loosen up my buttons babe (loosen up my buttons babe) Baby won't you loosen up my buttons babe (loosen up my buttons babe) Come on baby loosen up my buttons babe (loosen up my buttons babe) Baby won't you loosen up my buttons babe (loosen up my buttons babe) I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) I'm telling you to loosen up my buttons babe (uh huh) But you keep frontin' (uh) Sayin' what you gon' do to me (uh huh) But I ain't seen nothin' (ah) -------- So much for staying up and going to sleep late last night... by about 10:15 PM I was so tired I had to stop my chat with Sethos and log off to head to bed. I felt a little sick and very light-headed so I figured it would be best to head off to bed and get a good night's rest. I woke up around 8:30 AM, but I felt so tired that I was in a haze and went back to sleep for what I told myself was supposed to be an hour, but ended up waking up at around 12:40 PM. e.e;;; So I got a hell of a good night's rest and I feel pretty good. School has really taken a lot out of me seeing as how I am so exhausted all the damn time. I really wish I knew what was wrong with me at times. I get about four to five hours of sleep every night on week days, but I guess that's not enough for me... being a teenager and all. -------- There's something wrong with me. I have all of these whelts and cuts in my mouth, but I don't know how or why they're getting there in the first place. Has anyone ever had the same problem? I should probably address this problem with my doctor if it continues on until next week. Two weeks of cuts in my mouth isn't sounding very exciting at this very moment. -------- I need my freedom!! *Pokes the lump on the bed.* Seth: *Groans and rolls over.* .... awr... :3 -------- Most importantly!! Click Here! *Tacklehugs everyone and gives them all chocolate or strawberry pocky.* Depends on what you prefer. ;D -------- -Kawaii Seth<3

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Thursday, April 27, 2006

I will raise you up.

Time: ... Song: I'm Alive By: Disturbed Mood: Random Never again will I be dishonored And never again will I be reminded Of livin' within the world of the jaded They kill inspiration It's my obligation To never again allow this to happen Where do I begin the choices are endless Denying sin, my art, my redemption I carry the torch of my fathers before me Chorus: The thing I treasure most in life Cannot be taken away There will never be a reason why I will surrender to your advice To change myself, I'd rather die No they will not understand I will make the greatest sacrifice You **can't predict where the outcome lies You'll never take me alive I'm alive (3x) Change again cannot be considered I rage again dispelling my anger Where do I begin the choices are endless My art, my redemption my only salvation I carry the gift that I have been blessed with My soul is adrift in oceans of madness Repairing the rift that you have created I am not alone, brothers, give me your arms now Chorus Bridge: I'm no slave of you feeling brave Or have you gone out of your mind No more games it won't feel the same If I hold my anger inside There's no meaning my soul is bleeding I've had enough of your kind One suggestion use your discretion Before you label me blind Chorus I'm alive (8x) -------- Rejoice! For the day has come that is labeled as the "end" of the week for here in Texas! Indeed, Thursday is the end of the week for us here and that means... I GET TO SLEEP IN ON FRIDAY! I am hella happy to be presented with such a gift as sleeping in this Friday and just hanging out all weekend. I hope this weekend goes as planned... if all goes well, I won't have to do anything. :D Seth: *Peeks out of his room door.* Kawaii? Yes, hun? Seth: I feel sick.... *Goes to Seth's door.* Anything I can do for you? Seth: ... read to me? Aww! *Melts.* I better run off and go read a story to Sethy... *Skitters off, leaving a trail of gold behind for her friends.* -------- EDIT: I was in the restroom wasting time out of class and my dear son Zappa called me to say goodbye. He's so cute... I love my son. I'm glad I was able to pick up the phone to say bye to him. :3 To all of my friends going to Shiokazecon: HABE FUN!!!! :D -Kawaii Seth<3

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