Tuesday, January 10, 2006

*Nervous.* x.x;;

Time: Dunno. x.x Song: Seraph By: Malice Mizer Mood: Nervous. Toko no ue ni baramakareta e o nagameru ano koro ni sukoshi mo kawaranai kimi ga hohoemu nagaretekuru utagoe ni oborenagara ima mo sukoshi mo kawaranai boku ga tatazumu Sora ga aokunaku aka no kodou ga yameba kimi o wasureru koto ga dekiru no ni Seraph serenade mukae ni kita kimi no te o toru Giniro no hane ga ima nagai akumu o koete kimi o matsu boku no moto e omoidoori ni shite saa, koroshite okure boku o matsu kimi no ude de Kono shuunkan de maku o tojiru unmei o eien ni hikaru kagayaki no naka kanasha suru Yoru ga kurokunaku aka no kodou ga yameba kimi o wasureru koto ga dekiru no ni Seraph serenade doko e yuku no ? tsurete itte hitori ni narenai mukae ni kita kimi no te o toru Giniro no hane ga ima nagai akumu o koete kimi o matsu boku no moto e omoidoori ni shite saa, koroshite okure boku o matsu kimi no ude de Mune ni nokoru taion tenshi to mau sugata Giniro no hane ga ima nagai akumu o koete kimi o matsu boku no moto e Saikai no ima o dakishimeru kono boku o saa, koroshite okure So I basically screwed myself into the nearest damnation possible with today's final. I bet you guys already guessed it; well... those of you who know me very well irl and all that jazz. (And plenty of you do know me well enough by now, which is pretty sad at times; you guys are wasting your time! xD) Today's final: Colorguard (Marching band... I'd die before ever joining ROTC: No offense to anyone.) Seth: Oh dear Kawaii... you've ruined yourself now. *Sweatdrop as he walks away.* And where are you going?! Seth: To bathe myself... good day. *Waves and smiles gently.* Goodness, he never sticks around to talk much nowadays, eh? Oh! Back to how I screwed myself over. (Because everyone thinks it's funny when Sethy here digs her own grave.<3 ) Way back in about November, we were assigned our colorguard final, which was supposed to be us making a flag routine to any song we want (that's not dirty) and is no less then two minutes. I chose my song, but only acted serious aboot the routine for about a week. Then it just... kinda... slipped my mind. [death music]Now, in less than twenty minutes, I'm doomed to go to the band hall and totally improv this whole routine![/death music] And the maine thing I hate the most is the fact that we have to write down the whole damned routine and turn it in too! Some moves out there don't even have names. *Thinks of what she did for the opening and jots it down as "The swoopy thing" on her final paper.* See?! Totally useless... T_T Now don't get me wrong and flame me; I totally know that it's my fault and only my fault for this happening, but I look back and laugh so hard at this right now. *Runs around with a dunce hat on.* I also had a very intelligent conversation with a random guy today about homosexuals. Here's how said conversation went: Guy: God, gays are nasty!18208noobzer Me: What's so wrong about gays in general? Guy: Not in general.... just guys! Me: So... lesbians aren't a problem? Guy: No, lesbos are hawt! Me: Y'know... just because a girl likes a guy doesn't mean she wants EVERY guy out there, ne? Guy: Yeah, I guess. Me: So just because a guy is gay doesn't mean he's out to get YOU right? Guy: Yeah. Me: Quit being so insecure about sexuality... it's totally normal. Alright, maybe not intellectual to you guys, but it makes hella sense, ne? Gotta get going... ja! Kawaii Seth<3

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Monday, January 9, 2006

Painting the roses red...

Time: Song: Au Revoir By: Malice Mizer Mood: Itsu mou futari bun no hibiku ashioto ga tsuzuiteta michi de Kare hatete shimatta gairoju tachi ga o ikunatta hohaba o kizukaseta Kata ni surechigau chiisa na ochiba ga mata sora ni modotte Sonna fukisusabu kaze sae mo ima wa naze ka itoshikute Sotto hohoende ita madobe ni motareru minareta sugata ga Kageru hizashi ni utsushi dasarete kieru Afureru omoi ni tsubuyaita kotoba wa "Semete yume ga sameru made..." Motto Anata o dakishime nemuritai Yasashii kioku ni kawatta ima de sae mo Kono ude de dakishime nemuritai Deatta koro no futari no you ni Madobe ni motarete zawameku namiki ni Sotto tsubuyaku onaji kotoba o mou ichi dou... Ano toki no sugata ga mienaku natte mo Semete yume no naka dake wa Motto Anata o dakishime nemuritai Yasashii kioku ni kawatta ima de sae mo Kono ude de dakishime nemuritai Deatta koro no ano hi no mama no Futari no you ni Anata o dakishime nemuritai ... Kono ude de dakishime nemuritai ... Anata o dakishime nemuritai ... Kono ude de dakishime nemuritai ... 'Tis the beginning of the week of finals for me and I find myself cramming more and more each day. How fun, ne? Even Sethy thinks it's coolbeans. Seth: *Sleeping.* Oh-kay... nevermind then. Obviously he doesn't think it's cool anymore. But what am I kidding? Studying isn't cool... neither is coming up with a colorguard routing the day before your actual final. -.-;; So I got to see the movie "Brokeback Mountain" with Sethos and I give the overall rating of a 9.5 out of 10. The reason for those five missing numbers is simply because of the fact that one of the cowboys mumbled too damn much. I almost stood up and shouted: MUMBLER! I also re-dyed my hair and got it cut back to its normal style. The bangs are getting hella long, but the refusal to trim them still remains plastered into me until at least after Ushicon. Seth: *Rolls over, hugging himself tightly.* [smile]Awr... how cute. I just wanna dunk him in my coffee and eat him up.[/smile] Ooh! I cleaned out my friends list from those who: A) Never comment. or B) Never update. *Tosses out hearts.* Thanks to my lovely friends and commenters, I have now reached over 2000 total visits! *Confetti.* Well, I'm done... so 'til next time! Kawaii Seth<3

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Sunday, January 8, 2006

A wonderful story for such wonderful lyrics.

Time: 11:15 PM Song: Absolutely (Story of a Girl) By: Nine Days Mood: Anxious. This is the story of a girl Who cried a river and drowned the whole world And while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her When she smiles Now how many days in a year She woke up with hope But she only found tears Now I can be so insincere Makin her promises never for real As long as she stands there waiting Wearin the holes in the soles of her shoes Now how many days disappear When you look in the mirror So how do you choose Your clothes never wear as well the next day And your hair never falls in quite the same way But you never seem to run out of things to say This is the story of a girl Who cried a river and drowned the whole world And while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her When she smiles Now how many lovers would stay Just to put up with this shit Day after day Now how did we wind up this way Watchin our mouths for the words that we say As long as we stand here waiting Wearin the clothes or the soles that we choose Now how do we get there today When we're walkin too far for the price of our shoes Your clothes never wear as well the next day And your hair never falls in quite the same way But you never seem to run out of things to say This is the story of a girl Who cried a river and drowned the whole world And while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her When she smiles Well your clothes never wear as well the next day And your hair never falls in quite the same way You never seem to run out of things to say This is the story of a girl Who cried a river and drowned the whole world And while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her This is the story of a girl Her pretty face she hid from the world And while she looks so sad and lonely there I absolutely love her This is the story of a - girl Who cried a river and drowned the whole world And while she looks so sad in photographs I absolutely love her When she smiles Oh when she smi-iles! So I decided to put the lyrics in italics so you guys can just skip all of its nonsense and get to what I really want to say. So if the lyrics are nonsense, why post them? Because it's my journal and I can.<3 Seth: I'm feeling quit ill so if I may, I am going to remain silent. Alrighty then. So a good summary of my day... Y'know how in the anime Gravitation Eiri Yuki falls asleep and it's VERY hard to wake him up? That's how I sleep... And that's why Naru-kun (Le little brother) had to knock so many fugging times on the door to wake me up at about 11:30 AM this morning. I didn't really respond until he yelled through the door that the damned parental unit wanted my ass out of bed. It seemed that the parental unit were vacating the premisis for the day, so I went out into the living room to watch T.V. for the first time in awhile and doze like a lazy bum. Around 6 PM, they finally returned home and dad said he'd been throwing up and feels sick. So he got to go lay in his bed and sleep for the rest of the day... woo. I got really happy and excitied because I found out that Wild Fire is going to Ushicon and stuff. I can't wait to see him and possibly dance with him too!<3 The rest of my day was pretty uneventful, seeing as I'm waiting to go see Brokeback Mountain and what-not. ._. Seth: *Falls asleep.* Awr.. *Tosses a blanket over little Sethy.* Well... as for the quote on the shirt for the Mad Raving Hatter, I'm still drawing a blank. Any ideas/witty comments for le shirt? Kawaii Seth<3

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Saturday, January 7, 2006

I don't know why I'm watching Footloose...

Time: 11:30 PM Song: I'm Free! By: Forgot. (Footloose soundtrack) Mood: Tired out. Looking into your eyes I know I'm right If there's anything worth my love it's worth a fight We only get one chance But nothing ties our hands You're what I want Listen to me Nothing I want Is out of my reach (I'M FREE) HEAVEN HELPS THE MAN who fights his fear Love's the only thing that keeps me here You're the reason that I'm hanging on My heart's staying where my heart belongs (I'M FREE) Running away will never make me free And nothing we sign is any kind of guarantee But I wanna hold you now And I won't hold you down I'm shaking the past Making my breaks Taking control If that's what it takes Yeah, I'm hooked on watching this movie for some reason... I've had that Footloose song above stuck in my head all day. o.O Seth: *Nods.* She speaks the truth... Well, Maki and I saw the cutest thing ever! We were hanging out in eighth period when she ran out to find something and then came back to the band hall in a smiling mode. She then told me about two guys outside. Me, being the curious lil one I am, quickly dashed outside to go see the cuddling couple. I dashed outside and stopped nearly mid-step and looked to the side to see two guys cuddled together against the wall! *Squeal.* Seth: *Giggles.* It was quite cute... Yeah! Me and Maki were all squealy and smiley for the rest of the period! Later on in the day, mom took me and Sethos to the mall so I could look for new panfs for my mad raving hatter costume, but no luck there. Then we traveled to the North Star Mall and I found these awesome glow in the dark pants! Squeal<33 We were going to see Brokeback Mountain, but they were sold out, so me and mom went home after dropping off Sethos. We're going to see the movie this Sunday though! Gotta go! Sorry for the short-ness guys! Kawaii Seth<3

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Friday, January 6, 2006

Stricken

You walk on like a woman in suffering Won't even bother now to tell me why You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment Leaving me broken another time You come on like a bloodstained hurricane Leave me alone, let me be this time You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption I don't want to mention, the reason I know That I am stricken and can't let you go When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know That I am crippled by all that you've done Into the abyss will I run You don't know what your power has done to me I want to know if I'll heal inside I can't go on with a holocaust about to happen Seeing you laughing another time You'll never know how your face has haunted me My very soul has to bleed this time Another hole in the wall of my inner defenses Leaving me breathless, the reason I know That I am stricken and can't let you go When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know That I am crippled by all that you've done Into the abyss will I run Into the abyss will I run You walk on like a woman in suffering Won't even bother now to tell me why You come alone, letting all of us savor the moment Leaving me broken another time You come on like a bloodstained hurricane Leave me alone, let me be this time You carry on like a holy man pushing redemption I don't want to mention, the reason I know That I am stricken and can't let you go When the heart is cold, there's no hope, and we know That I am crippled by all that you've done Into the abyss will I run Into the abyss will I run I can't let you go Yes I am stricken and can't let you go Seth: Erm... no comment? [sweatdrop]Teehee. Feeling mucho better today! That person took things a lot better then I thought he would! Woo... but I must be out soon... the bell is going to ring. x.x;[/sweatdrop] I'm going to see Brokeback Mountain today and going to look for some green and black pants for the Mad Raving Hatter costume for Ushicon! Kudos to my new friend Auki! Many hearts to you for commenting on my post! Many hearts to all of my friends who comment on my posts everyday! Kawaii Seth<3

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Thursday, January 5, 2006

Beating Heart...

Time: Dunno. Song: Beating Heart Baby By: Head Automatica Mood: Blegh. (Beating Hearts Baby) Baby is this love for real? (Beating Hearts Baby) Let me in your arms to feel (Beating Hearts Baby) The beating of your heart, baby (Beating Hearts Baby) The beating of your heart, baby You, you want nothing to do with me You, you want nothing to do with me I, I don't know what to do with you Cause you, you don't know what you do to me Baby is this love for real? Let me in your arms to feel The beating of your heart baby The beating of your heart baby Baby is this love for real? Let me in your arms to feel Your beating heart baby The beating of your heart baby Girl, you really got your hold on me Girl, you really got your hold on me Girl, you gotta get away from me Cause you, you want nothing to do with me Baby is this love for real? Let me in your arms to feel The beating of your heart baby The beating of your heart baby Baby is this love for real? Let me in your arms to feel Your beating heart baby The beating of your heart baby In spite of you Even out of view Still I love all of you I do, yeah In spite of you Even out of view Still I love all of you I do, well You, you want nothing to do with me You, you want nothign to do with me Baby is this love for real? Let me in your arms to feel Your beating heart baby The beating of your heart baby Baby is this love for real? Let me in your arms to feel The beating of your heart baby The beating of your heart baby Baby is this love for real? Let me in your arms to feel Your beating heart baby The beating of your heart baby The song is kind of the opposite of mood in a way, but also the exact same. It's hard to explain but if you know me well, you'll get it. Especially Sethos, Tori, and Ashley at the moment. I love you guys. Seth: *Blinks.* Do I know? No, hun. But you will soon enough; I'm about to ruin yet another person's life over my stupid conflicting emotions. I hope that person takes it well though. Seth: Oh dear... *Sighs gently and runs a hand through his hair.* Well, can't go to GSA today sadly... need to get things done at home that require a lot of time and all that good stuff. Seth: I'm going to take a nap. G'night then. We seem to be progressing in our Wintergaurd work, but I was just happy being near Maki-chan and Ashely. Being near them makes me just as happy as being near Sethos and Tori too. I think later on today I'll just lock myself in my closet and let it all out. I hate being this way at school. .-. Have a sugoi day. Kawaii Seth<3

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Wednesday, January 4, 2006

Thoughts of memories...

Time: Sometime in the afternoon. Song: The Ghost of You and Me By: BBMak Mood: Thoughtful What am I supposed to do With all these blues Haunting me everywhere No matter what I do Watching the candle flicker out In the evening glow I can't let go When will the night be over I didn't mean to fall in love with you And baby there's a name For what you put me through It isn't love, it's robbery I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me Seen a lot of broken hearts Go sailing by Phantom ships lost at sea And one of them is mine Raising my glass I sing a toast to the midnight sky I wonder why The stars don't seem to guide me I didn't mean to fall in love with you And baby there's a name For what you put me through It isn't love, it's robbery I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me The ghost of you and me When will it set me free I hear the voices call Following footsteps down the hall Trying to save what's left Of my heart and soul Watching the candle flicker out In the evening glow I can't let go When will the night be over I didn't mean to fall in love with you And baby there's a name For what you put me through It isn't love, it's robbery I'm sleeping with the ghost of you and me Well, after a long night yesterday of fighting against the parental unit, my life has become something of a living hell today... especially with my dad and what not. After the fighting ended, I got to thinkin about things a lot more than usual. These thoughts have brought me to one statement... I miss middle school.. Seth: *Sighs and gazes at the floor.* I miss how close everyone used to be together. No one cared about anything each other did and no one was really picky about things. We were all just simple kids trying to be cool and rebellious to prove to others that we were someone. Seth: I really see no use in speaking of this... I just need to get the things out of my mind Seth! These thoughts have been bothering for a while now. I really miss everything we all had together... it seemed so perfect while it lasted and now it's reduced to nothing! Seth: Welcome to my world. Quit being so upset... it's my turn to be upset, damnit! Seth: You don't know how this feels Kawaii... you just don't! *Hides away in his room.* Well, now that Seth's going to anti-social with us, I'll just continue on. I really don't know why anyone would care about this, but you guys know what it feels like when you just have those moments where you think back to the past and realize all that you had... and miss it. I don't expect sympathy or pity from everyone... all I'm asking is for a bit of understanding as to why I've been acting the way I have been as of late. If I make any kind of comment that may hurt you please let me know... I've just been feeling rather odd lately and- Seth: Kawaii? Yes Seth? Seth: *Hugs tightly.* I'm sorry... I think we both have been feeling upset lately. *Holds Seth tightly.* We have. Well everyone.. I'm off to endure the rest of this damned class. Kawaii Seth<3

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Tuesday, January 3, 2006

If You Were Gay...

Time: *Clueless.* It's sometime in the afternoon during school. Song: If You Were Gay By: Avenue Q Mood: Distressed. [sadness]At times like this I would like to admit that I absolutely hate school and dread most of my electives and dread seeing some of the crap I'm seeing everyday in school day in and day out. I just can't stand putting up with most of this stuff everyday and just wish some people/things would burn in hell. <3[/sadness] Anyway... seriousness is pretty much gone... so yeah. *Sigh.* So, how did everyone like there first day of school after two weeks? Mine was just peachy... Haha! Riight... I wish I could've stayed home so badly that it makes me want to flop down and cry. I already miss the boring days of laying in my bed, playing video games in my underwear, or roleplaying on Furcadia and having a nice time with online friends. <3 On a random note, Hobby Lobby is my new god... I must worship Hobby Lobby with all of my power and stuff. Know why? KNOW WHY?!?! My Monday was a bit boring in the beginning, but later on in the day... my parents were like, "We're going to Wal-mart so get ready." And then we all went to Wal-mart lookin' for stuffs. I exchanged a few shirts for money since they weren't my tastes and all that good stuff. I was going to get my hair cut, but a spanish lady was there who didn't speak English... I wasn't going to try it since my hairstyle is VERY picky. I got some hair dye (At last, my hair will be red again!) and then began to search about the clothing section for a black shirt and a gree shirt. Whilst talking to Sethos on the phone, I found the perfect green shirt, but couldn't find a black shirt with the same collar. I gave up hope and skittered to the cashier to purchase my beloved hair dye and hung up with Sethos while we drove to Hobby Lobby to pick up some stuffs for mom's little stamping hobby. I found a mask that came with paint, bought some green glitter and some feathers to decorate the mask for the Masq. at Ushicon (Which is very soon! Work, work, work.) and got it all for WAY less then ten dollars. Then I went looking around in the back of Hobby Lobby and found a black shirt and a green shirt... both same size, same collar type, and only $2.99 each! Score bebbie! <3 [grinning]I bought all of it and made away like a bandit into the falling sun... happy and content with my new purchases.[/grinning] So, I'm a little more then halfway done with getting stuff for Ushicon in a few weeks. All I have to do is do some sewing on the costume, gather stuffs for the con and I'm all done! But of course it's some unwritten law that you always have to forget at least ONE thing behind when you pack for a con. *Sweatdrop.* And I leave you with one question... Since everyone voted for the writing on the shirt and stuff... What on earth should I write? Kawaii Seth <3

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Monday, January 2, 2006

Back in action, foo!

Time: 11:35 PM Song: Party Boy Theme (Jackass) By: CKY Mood: Tired. So, I have returned from depths of San Angelo(Hickville) with bags under my eyes and a very shitty start to my so-called "New Year". What a good way to start off this post, ne? A random complaint that is stupid, yet you're still reading this? xD; Seth: *Remains asleep on the bed.* Well, since he's all asleep and stuff, I guess I'm all alone in this post. [sarsasm]So, how's aboot I explain to you guys how well my trip went?[/sarcasm] I you wouldn't resist... ;D Nah, I'm not going to put you through the torture and I'm way too tired to even explain all of it. So let's put it in a small summary, shall we? We got to San Angelo, we sat around being bored, the relatives are all red necks and I can tell they don't like me at all, I was treated like crap the whole time I was there, the food was alright, the hotel sucked, the pool was fun to swim in, my parents went out partying and left me and Nick at the hotel flipping channels on New Years' eve... what a great way to spend your new years' eve, hm? Sitting around and flipping channels. *Sigh.* So in short, the whole trip was basically crap for me, my little brother, and the little tiki man in my closet. Can't say much for Seth since he stayed in his room the entire time... doing nothing but reading; lazy mofo. >.< Anyway... I got some drawings done and I would've drawn something for Maki had I known she wanted me to draw her something! D: I figured out what I could do for the top for my Mad Raving Hatter outift and I need some damn febreeze! *Takes a few minutes to spray febreeze.* Anyway... onto the top. I'm going to purchase just a plain black shirt and a plain green shirt, cut both of them straight up the middle and sew the two halves together to make a two-toned shirt. Then I do some touch ups, add some rips, and do the safety pins again. Sound good? Good. Anyway... I have a question for everyone and this will be like a poll thingy. On my Mad Raving Hatter shirt, should I put: A. Writing (If yes, what should it say?) B. A heart that is black on the green side and green on the black side.) C. Nothing, it's fine the way it is. Kawaii Seth <3

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Friday, December 30, 2005

Going to hell for the weekend.

Time: 1:00 AM Song: None. By: None. Mood: Pissed. Well... I'm leaving today for San Angelo... not to return from hell until Sunday, sadly. I hope all of you have a great weekend. *Waves and skitters off.* Seth: No! *Clings to someone.* *Grabs Seth.* Let's go! Seth: *Whimpers.* Not the relatives...

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