Wednesday, June 28, 2006

So, yeah...

Time: 11:15 PM Song: I dunno the name. (Song featured below music video.) By: I don't know! ;.; Mood: Perplexed/Anxious/Worried -------- Things seem to be lightening up just a bit more now that I'm not bottling all of that anger inside. Thanks to yesterday's "vent" I think I feel a lot better now and I'm not letting things bug me as much anymore as I was for a long while there. So about my day... I woke up around 7:50 AM (I have to be at the Driver's Ed place by 10 AM every morning. Blegh. x.x) and took my shower. I had a breakfast (Not much of a breakfast though. It was a choclate Slim Fast... yum.) and then sat downstairs talking to my step mom about various things. I wasn't very awake yet... so I just kinda babbled on as she read her book. She drove me to Driver's Ed where I sat outside working on the 85 question assignment that was given to us about signs, laws, penalties, parking, driving, blah. Then my buddy Christine (I just met her on the first day, but she's really cool. She likes VGCats and anime and video games too!) showed up and we chatted for a bit until the teacher dismissed the class before us and called us in. My... teacher... is... CRAZY! O_O He yells and throws "fits" and goes all out on us students. He's kinda funny and all, but surely a really weird dude. One guy even asked the teacher if he was on drugs and the teacher responded with, "Not yet. I don't start 'til after this class." Then the whole class fell silent... I had a test over different signs... easy as hell. I turn my stuff in for my permit tomorrow... then I'll get to practice driving! -------- When class ended at 12 PM, my mom picked me up and we went to go get lunch, Taco Bell! :D We went home where I proceeded to just kinda sit around all day doing nothing. Yugi called me practically crying on the phone and we chatted for about three hours about how "good" our summer has been going. From the sounds of it, she really misses me. Her mom's been calling her a lazy ass when she's the only one really trying to keep the house clean and babysit her little step brother and her little sister. What a drag, ne? I feel sorry for her. I offered to let her come spend the night and all, but her mom was being a major bitch at the time so she's going to try tomorrow. My mom said that she can just hang out here at the house while I'm at Driver's Ed... fun. xD As for my friendship with Yugi... ... it's repairing itself. I think her and I have come to something of an understanding of each other. Even though I still don't like the way she tries to get everyone's attention (Attention whore, basically.) I still try to suck it up and all. We shall see what happens... -------- Gosh, I'm already thinking well ahead of myself. I'm thinking about Oni-con, which is in October. Bishojo Tenshi and I are going to work on getting together a belly dancing outfit so we can run around at night time with the outfits on. FUN! As for cosplay purposes... I'm having major money issues. I need about $40 before I can achieve the last bit of my cosplay and not have to worry about it. Oh well. Still got a few more weeks to raise said money the best of my ability.. ^^; Seth: Wow... you sure did have a lot to say tonight. I know... I feel bad for rambling. Seth: Not at all... I enjoy listening to you talk. Thanks. -------- Fucking AWESOME music. :D!! -Kawaii Seth<3

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Tuesday, June 27, 2006

It was a dream... right?

Time: Song: Wings of a Butterfly (Song featured at end of post.) By: HIM Mood: Thoughtfull, negative. (NOT a good combination for SOME people.) Heaven ablaze in our eyes We're standing still in time The blood on our hands is the wine We offer as sacrifice [Chorus] Come on, and show them your love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul, my love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul This endless mercy mile We're crawling side by side With hell freezing over in our eyes Gods kneel before our crime [Chorus] Come on lets show, them your love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul, my love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) Don’t let go (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) For your soul [Chorus] Come on, and show them your love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul, my love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) Don’t let go (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) [x2] For your soul -------- I had a strange dream last night and I'm going to try to explain it to all of you in details that you will hopefully understand. If you don't understand... I apologize in advanced. I stood in my bathroom gazing at the mirror before me with a calm expression on my face, but something kept disrupting my calm stature. Sometimes... a flash of color change would affect the picture of me standing before the mirror. Insteas of me being in color, I was in black and white, but the color of blood was splattered haphazardly all over my body and face. In the black and white picture, I had a look of terror in my eyes and my hair was all messed up. The only colors that were detected other than black and white was the distinct color of blood and my eyes were a lime green color with a smoldering crimson in the middle. I had my right hand poised in my hair, gripping tightly while the other gripped onto the counter. The colored picture of me had both hands on the counter and I gazed calmly into the mirror. These two pictures would flash every now and then with increasing flashing speed as the sound of my dearest friends chit-chatting in non-coherant voices that were barely whispered. I couldn't make out the discussion, but they were talking about something shattering. The pictures of me flashed back and forth before it was just the black and white. I was breathing heavily by this time... blood was dripping out of my mouth and into the sink. Suddenly, a shadowy darkness began to ride up my body and swirled around me like a deadly mist. As it swirled about me, jagged black marks began to show on my skin and I slammed my right hand onto the counter. Then all of the talking stopped and together, all of my closest friends said, "Changed..." And then I heard a shattering noise and I began to scream, falling to my knees as I grabbed my head. Strange, hm? It was so horrible that I could hardly sleep last night, thus making my first day of Driver's Ed even more horrid for me than I'd wanted to make it in the first place. I really wish I knew what it all meant... Seth: ... Kawaii... Hm? Seth: Nothing... goodnight. *Hugs and walks away.* -------- I think I should give myself a good time to relapse from what I've become and just think about my life and my friends. It's come to my attention that no matter how hard I try to keep all of my friends together... we will stil drift apart anyhow. There are a few people that, as much as I hate to admit, I feel are drifting away from me and are beginning to lose everything I've tried to teach them about me being their friend... I think I should just... I dunno... give it a break for those people and just stay out of their lives for a while. At least until school starts or something... I'll call it my little experiment. Now, just because I'll be avoiding some of you doesn't mean I'll be avoiding ALL of you. There are some of you that I feel are just too good to let go... ever... but there are a few meandering hearts in our group that I just don't feel like confronting. I'll let them handle the situation and jump right back in late August or when I absolutely have to see them. Don't take this personally or anything... just take it as something of a break and see how well these people can function without me in their lives, (Hell, they've gotten this far... why not continue on and see how far?) and we'll still be on friendly terms... you just won't be seeing me anytime soon. Breaks are considered good things... And if you didn't want this "break"... then you shouldn't have been so indecisive with me in the first place. Being a fucking indecisive person just pisses me off... and people don't like me when I'm pissed. *Rant over.* -------- On a side note... I think I'm falling in love... ... but that's not a good thing; considering whom the person is... I had a long talk with them earlier, but I just couldn't find the right words... ... love is a bitch and seems to target close friends. Dating close friends is like playing with fire, after all... you can either tame it really well or get your ass burnt in the process. -------- -Kawaii Seth<3

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Monday, June 26, 2006

For lack of anything else...

Time: 11:10 PM Song: Sooner or Later By: Breaking Benjamin Mood: Thoughtful. (Not good!) I want a normal life just like a new born child I am a lover hater I am an instigator You are an oversight Don't try to compromise I'll learn to love to hate it I am not integrated [Pre-Chorus] Just call my name You'll be okay Your scream is burning through my veins Sooner or later you're gonna hate it Go ahead and throw your life away Driving me under, leaving me out there Go ahead and throw your life away You're like an infantile I knew it all the while You sit and try to play me Just like you see on tv I am an oversight Just like a parasite Why am I so pathetic I know you won't forget it [Pre-chorus] Sooner or later you're gonna hate it Go ahead and throw my life away Driving me under, leaving me out there Go ahead and throw my life away Sooner or later you're gonna hate it Go ahead and throw our life away Driving me under, leaving me out there Go ahead and throw our life away Throw our life away Ooooo Throw our life away -------- THAT'S IT! I have the urge to type about something, but I have nothing to type about! So I have resorted to telling you guys my personal opinion on some quotes that caught my eye and made the gears in my mind churn about eagerly. Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so. Alright... so apparently parents are always like, "Learn from your mistakes!" but when has the human race actually proven to learn their lesson the first time around? We see death and destruction all over the place... so obviously the "higher" gonvernment-like people haven't learned of the ways of avoiding death and war. ... or is it just natural for human to shove bullets and daggers down each other's throats time after time? We look at people like Hitler and frown down upon their very existence, but we allow it to happen again and again in different places at different times. If the whole fucking world knows about how bad dictatorships can be, then why allow it to continue on? He felt that his whole life was some kind of dream and he sometimes wondered whose it was and whether they were enjoying it. Hasn't anyone ever wondered this to themselves? That perhaps all of this just isn't real and what we consider to be dreams aren't even close to what dreams really are? As in... someone fell into an eternal sleep and that is why you were born. Or this is what you see when you die other then utter darkness. When you die, you witness another being born and live watching their existence until they die. Then you have to find another soul to watch live and die once again. -------- *Clears her mind and pets Seth.* Seth: *Turns in his sleep.* So what does everyone think of the new layout? I worked for quite a long time on it and even took the time to make myself an actual animated icon! *Dances about randomly.* I better get going... Driver's Ed begins tomorrow for me. x.x Seth: I will pass... No you won't! You need to learn too! Seth: *Sighs.* Another fun-filled adventure with Kawaii, I presume? Exactly! We'll make this fun! Seth: Oh, dear... -Kawaii Seth<3

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Sunday, June 25, 2006

Dot dot dot...

Time: 11:11 PM Song: None. By: None. Mood: Blank. -------- Well, then. I'd like to thank all of you for all of the comments and for voting and all of that. There was a tie between Vincent from Final Fantasy 7 and Sukisho. ... so we shall see what the next layout is, ne? ;D Short post today, guys. Nothing's going on. -Kawaii Seth

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Saturday, June 24, 2006

A return to life.

Time: 12:13 AM Song: Dear Angel (Watch video below to listen.) By: April Sixth Mood: Perplexed. Dear angel of mine, Where do I start to express how I feel? Well, my love's gone blind. Now all that I feel is what I hear. Your words rip and tear, and through my heart so weak and pure. Now I find myself wanting to die… I bleed for the second time tonight holding the love that's in my mind. If only my love could be with you. If only this pain, this pain died too So I break you away, away, away from me. As I sit here alone thinking about everything that you said. You know since I'm alone. Well, maybe after all, I was better off dead. Cause without you my life's gone down... What do I do, when I find myself wanting to die? I bleed for the second time tonight holding the love that's in my mind. If only my love could be with you. If only this pain, this pain died too I bleed for the second time tonight holding the love that's in my mind. If only my love could be with you. If only this pain, this pain died too I break you away, away, away from me. And I don't know…I'll break you away! Said, I'll break you away, away, away from me. And I don't know. -------- Sorry for the sudden diappearance, guys. I left to go to my twin's house to spend a few nights with her and Bishojo Tenshi. I really just needed to get away from life at home; I think that I'm just getting down on myself because there's a serious lack of anything else to do here at home. But, in all honesty, there's really nothing else I can do outside of home anyway. So I just stay home and do little things around the house... like download music or chat with friends online; since I really do miss my friends a lot of the time. Seth: *Sleeps soundly on his bed.* *Pats Seth.* Even poor Sethy here is very bored. All he ever really does is just sleep around or sit on his bed reading for the majority of the days that pass by. He reads and I mess around on roleplay forums on Furcadia (Big roleplay fanatic, I am.) I mean... I have desire to surf around different sites as I used to. All I really want to do is sit down and get thrown into a different world, with a different life and a whole different plot. That's all I really enjoy doing anymore... leaving this reality behind and becoming a totally different person with the world at my fingertips. There are, of course, little distractions outside of my virtual life though. My parents coming home and wanting dinner or my dad throwing one of his famous temper tantrums that make me just as angry in the process. Some random bout of drama striking my life like a neverending story. -------- Driver's Ed starts for me this coming monday. Only two hours of my day taken into the grips of people that think they can rule my life on the street. Oh well... such is life, no? I need a liscense to get the things I really need in life. ... so I have no room to bitch. -------- I think that's all I have to say this time. o.O So... here's a video of the song I'm currently listening to. -------- -Kawaii Seth<3

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Wednesday, June 21, 2006

ANGST Feeds on Your Soul...

Time: 11:24 PM Song: Don't Leave Me Alone By: Tarkan Mood: Longing/Lonely. Must have been to blinded to see It was there all along And all the signs that I missed, gave up on me They're already gone Fire, I want it back Desire, I want it back Tell me you believe ther's no chance That we still belong OOO I know I can't escape the pain It's falling on me like the rain Don't leave me alone Nights are getting lonely and cold I am left in the dark And all the words should have been unspoken Trust in our hearts Fire, I want it back Desire, I want it back This can't be the end of the story Let's not fall apart OOO I know I can't escape the pain It's falling on me like the rain Don't leave me alone OOO Baby try to keep the faith To make the sun come out again Don't leave me alone I miss your skin on my skin Won't you let me in Need to have it all I miss your kiss on my lips Won't you not resist Need to have it all I need to have it all Fire, I want it back Desire, I want it back -------- For once, I may actually have a decent post for all of you guys on this thing. But it's not a very nice update at all, I suppose. You see, I'm in one of my emo(tional) moods tonight. You see, a very disturbing thing happened to me last night and it was something short of a slap back to reality. I was contacted by a friend just so they could tell me how wonderful their precious love life is going... I've been single for quite a while and after hearing that, I began to think to myself. I miss being as happy as I was in my last relationship... and I just wish I can have it back sometimes; but you know what wishing gets you... ... just more pain-staking truth. I've taken just about as much as I can when it comes to people bitching on and on about how hard they have it in relationships and all of that. It even pisses me off that I'm resorting to venting on all of you guys about my love life just because I'm in "one of my moods". I suppose there's really nothing for me to do these days but try my best to find someone that is just as reliable as my last relationship, ne? Seth: Kawaii... Oh, hush. I'll be fine... I just need some time... Seth: *Nods.* Why must love be so complex? -Kawaii Seth<3

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Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Care for a daily laugh to allow me to make up for not being around? LMAO.

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Monday, June 19, 2006

Yup... still so busy. I really miss updating people on my life and all, but there's just no time... ;.;

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Sunday, June 18, 2006

JOIN PLZ! XD

Liek feel free to join this rp forum anytime, guys. <.<;;; So sorry for the shortness... still busy with stuff. Sucks that it's summer vacation and I'm still busy. ^^ -Kawaii Seth<3

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Saturday, June 17, 2006

KILL THEM! So much for subliminal messages, ne? ^^; -Kawaii Seth

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