Sunday, September 4, 2005

Just Some Personal Thoughts.

Time: 5:30 PM Song: Let's Do the Time Warp Again! By: I smite those who don't know where that song's from! D: Mood: Thoughtful. So what does everyone think of how far my journal has come since I began MyOtaku? I know some of you may not remember, but my journal was all icky and blue, red, and black with small icons that never really said much about me. Then it evolved into my inner soul. People come here to read my personal life and some have even told me that they have learned more about me through my journal then knowing me in real life. My journal brought me and Ian together and I will never forget that day he called and we had that deep conversation about our mistakes and how happy we both were. All because of one simple post on this journal explaining my personal thoughts and feelings. It has evolved so much due to my drastic boredom-filled moments when I wanted to simply do something with my journal instead of just allowing it to sit there and remain all simple. Some have even told me to join a myspace, but I'm sticking to myotaku and my new livejournal (Kawaii_Seth). Sometimes, I read back about my life and remember the most horrid times and the most funniest times and remember how all of my friends seemed to always have something good to say about what was happening... and it makes me happy knowing that everyone is always here for me. It's a great feeling, indeed. This very journal is the thing that brought me together with most of my friends. I never would've gotten closer to ClosetPervert if it wasn't for this journal that allowed everyone to learn more about me. And some have even learned things they regret learning... don't say you don't think so, because I know I've said things that change your overall outlook on me. <3 What about my journal seems to suit me? My avatar lets others know how music sets me free, the picture of me gives a visual and my likes and dislikes, the keichii banner is what I support, and Himi is just a creation of mine that shows the creativity I hold. My friends list is filled with those who have gained my interest and trust in their lives and also displays how friendly I am. Overall, I am glad I have this journal. What else am I thinking about? My life has been pretty busy so far, what with colorguard and the clubs I belong to and all that jazz. Colorguard has been a bit frustrating lately though... it seems like nobody ever gets along and I know that there are certain individuals on guard who just flat out don't give a shit anyway... it's really sad thinking how sucky our show's going to be this year. It almost makes me want to become ineligible to march in the first place. As for our new Anime Club (I'm the Vice President) and GSA (I'm the apprentics) I believe those clubs are going to get pretty far this year... it almost makes me proud knowing that me and my school friends can make such a difference for everyone else in the school who needs the help and all that good stuff. What else... I've given up on constantly trying to stay in touch with someone who has obviously been drifting away from all of con friends, so if you know who you are... I'm always up for repairing what we should have once again and possibly even starting our great friendship over. This pertains to con friends and not school friends. <3 Surprised this hasn't turned into a rant yet? I'm feeling very emotionally calm today for some reason... not mad, nor happy... just unusually calm about the things that have been happening lately... as if all of it is perfectly normal and somewhat expected to happen during my sophomore year in High school... I just fear that somehow, I will fail to gain acceptance through my father's eyes about my grades this year. I don't know how long this post will be, but I'm expecting a call from Sethos at any moment to see if the request I put in to take refuge at her house tonight was accepted. I still have yet to inform my parents, but I think all will be well as soon as she calls me... I hope she does soon. I really miss her and want to hang out with her more than my schedule will allow. Damn school and the constant burdens of work... -.- Wow... reading through this post, I have realized how weird my vocabulary is. Damn english teacher with her forcing me to write with my intellectual abilities and what-not. At least I don't feel all stupid while reading back, but this is how I reflect on my thoughts... with different vocabulary and different outlook. Ah... it was barely the second week of school and I already had to tell someone off for telling me that I could cheat on Ian with him. This guy's name will not be said, so let us use the name "Bob" instead. Here's all what happened. "Bob": Hey. You know I've liked you for a long time now. Did you ever consider going out with me? Seth: In all honesty, yes, I thought about it until you became a complete jackass. "Bob": Why don't you give me a chance then? Seth: Because I have a boyfriend who loves me dearly and I feel the exact same way about him. "Bob": Then give me a chance and don't tell him abou- Seth: *Pissed.* Excuse me?! You expect me to go behind my boyfriend's back like some little sex deprived whore just so you can finally have a chance with the girl you've been pushing away for the last year and half?! I don't think so, you dirty son of a bitch. No one is going to split me from Ian... not even a bastard like you. "Bob": Yeesh. Bitch. *Walks away.* That's right... that's what happened and I lost five friends because of it. But you know what? I don't care... because I'd rather lose five friends who listen to a bastard like "Bob" then to lose my love, Ian. So, up yours "Bob"! And... I think that's about it. Word's in that I get to see Sethos tonight! *Glory ensues.* And I will talk to all of you in the near future! <333 Ian: Love you so much, hun. Everyone: I miss all of you dearly and can't wait to see all of you again. You all know who you are!

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