Monday, May 1, 2006

I hold onto these memories....

Time: Song: Clowns (Can You See Me Now?) By: T.A.T.U. Mood: Blank Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Can you see? All this weeping in the air Who can tell where it will fall? Through floating forests in the air 'Cross the rolling open sea Blow a kiss, I run through air Leave the past, find nowhere Floating forests in the air Clowns all around you Clowns that only let you know Where you let your senses go Clowns all around you It's a cross I need to bear All this black and cruel despair This is an emergency Don't you hide your eyes from me Open them and see me now Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Floating forests in the air Clowns all around you Can you see Can you see Can you see Can you see me now? See me here in the air Not holding on to anywhere But holding on so beware I have secrets I won't share See me here pushing you If I then deny I do Contemplate or wish away If I ask you not to stay Clowns that only let you know Where you let your senses go Clowns all around you It's a cross I need to bear All this black and cruel despair This is an emergency Don't you hide your eyes from me Open them and see me now Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Clowns all around you Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? Can you see me now? Can you see? Can you see? Can you see me now? -------- Hello everyone! Today's post will be given to Seth... because he's not really social and I feel that he needs to vent a little... so if any of you get confused, here's the rundown. Seth is madly in love with this man and that very man returns the feelings too... But they never get to see each other as much as they like. With their love for each other growing, they're finding it really hard to keep hope for ever being able to spend more than a few hours together every few weeks. Seth never really shows himself at school because he's a naturally nervous person and he doesn't like the school environment very much at all. The person he loves seems to have taken it the wrong way... which, of course, is very understandable. -------- Seth: Kawaii... I really have nothing of great importance to speak of. Kawaii: Nonsense Seth.. you need to talk more than you do these days; can’t you see that it’s constantly upsetting others when you refuse to speak to them… much less show your face? Seth: I guess you are right in a way, but how do I explain myself. I have never been taught to express what my thoughts are… only been taught to keep all of my feelings to myself because no one ever wanted to hear them. How can everyone simply expect me to drop my old habits and attempt to talk and open myself up to all of them… it’s simply overwhelming. I am not the kind of person to simply drop all of my thoughts on everyone else like some do. There is only one person that I can really open up to without much hesitation. He won’t lose his temper with me and he won’t judge me as others tend to do. He never tries to pull me away from my decisions and he respects the fact that I love another… My brother understands me more than everyone else will ever comprehend… but he so far away. Kawaii: Then can’t you share your thoughts with loverboy? He does everything he can to take care of you and make sure you are always as happy as possible. He may not be viewed as the best lover in the world, but he tries Seth. I know that, but he probably has his own problems to worry about.. Kawaii: He worries about you. Do you want to become one of his problems? Of course not! I just…. *Sighs as tears water in his eyes.* … we never see each other much and it seems like he is a total stranger to me at times. Kawaii: *Hands Seth a tissue.* Kawaii? Kawaii: Yes? I miss him… *Breaks down sobbing.* Well now… I’m pretty sure he’ll start feeling better soon enough. I’ll just have to coax him as best as possible for now… e.e; I won’t be able to update MyOtaku much in class anymore due to the fact that this program the teacher has limits website use-age… biotch. Gotta go! -Kawaii Seth<3

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