Thursday, May 4, 2006

Dream filled sighs corrupt my heart.

Time: ... Song: Pink Killer By: Dir En Grey Mood: Content Bust daiichi no kimi chimeiteki ketsubetsu noirohze Bust daini no kimi wa kuranke tsuke de mo masutaabeshon Bust daisan no kimi shokkaku kirete danchi Bust daiyon no kimi taion wa shinde yuku hennou sekkai Bust daigo no kimi ni sanso wo ataezu shinderu Bust dairoku no kimi setsudanmen okashiteku masutaabeshon Bust dainana no kimi hairan kinou ketsuraku kimi Bust daihachi no kimi haisuikou ni daisan zouki Bust daikyuu no kimi chimeiteki ketsubetsu doutai Bust daijuu no kimi shikkin nure de mo masutaabeshon Bust daiichi no boku ryuusan majiri no kategoraizu Bust daiichininsha wa sennou sareteru kanoke zaijuu giri giri no boku fukan jintai giri giri no boku fuzen jintai giri giri no boku fushoku jintai giri giri no boku furan jintai jintai kara oyobosu aijou jintai kara oyobosu kanjou jintai kara oyobosu kanzou jintai kara oyobosu taiji Dead And Dead, Killing Child dorokeru kara hajikeru kara ikimashou English Lyrics Bust You #1 a fatal neurocis of departure Bust You #2 a long term patient but masterbating. Bust You #3 cut the antennas, cut off the blood Bust You #4 the temperature is dying, cut open that odd brain of yours Bust You #5 dying, deprived of oxygen Bust You #6 even after the cross section you're still masturbating Bust You #7 a tendency for ovulating function failure Bust You #8 the third organ into the drainage canal Bust You #9 completely dismember you down to the trunk of your body. Bust You #10 masturbating eventhough you've soiled yourself in your incontinence. Bust Me #1 Classifying with Salfuric Acid. Bust The recognized authority, brainwashed, in a coffin. This duty is pushing me to the edge, An unfeeling body This duty is pushing me to the edge, An incomplete body This duty is pushing me to the edge, A rotting body This duty is pushing me to the edge, A decomposing body affection born from the body feelings born from the body get rid of the liver from the body get rid of the fetus from the body Dead and Dead Killing Child cause they'll melt apart, cause they'll burst, let's go. -------- Well now… things have been going just fucking peachy for me these days. My grades are finally doing all right (Besides the exception for Geometry, which is my only B.) and everything is jus kind of falling into place as the end of the year approaches. A lot has been going on as far as partying, getting ready for A-kon, doing homework, preparing for captain try-outs and dealing with drama. The overall worst thing so far is just the fact that everyone seems so down these days and it’s really becoming a drag for me to keep my spirits high for everyone. My sleeping order has been restoring itself as of late and I find myself actually being able to sleep more than I used to. I still feel hella tired in the mornings, but that’s just a fault to getting up really early in the mornings and being the third person walking through the door into the school. Even poor Sethy has a lot on his mind and has been sleeping/daydreaming on and off throughout the day. -------- Ian (The ex boyfriend.) called me last night just wanting to talk. We talked about a lot of things as far as how we’ve been doing, how Shiokazecon was for him and about a lot of awkward things that have been going on. He is excited about coming to my sweet 16 this year and seemed like he just couldn’t wait. He said that he really wants to see me again. We brought up the topic on how I can’t go to the mall anymore without feeling troubled because of the fact that I shared too many memories with him there and it hurts a little bit. He said that he gets a little upset when he thinks about us, but it’s better to be happy that it happened… then to be sad that it’s over. I told him that being with him made me probably the happiest I had ever been and he felt the same. We shared memories about A-kon last year and how horrible, but funny it was to us now. We got onto the topic about our break up and I actually found myself tearing up a little, but I was still smiling as we talked to each other. He said that he remembered being really upset and crying all day the day he left me that message on my phone. I told him that he was the first person I really ever cried about for a really long time… I was happy with him and when he broke it off… I felt an emptiness in my heart that made me so uncomfortable. Josh says that the reason I have been single for so long is because no one can ever really fill that void again; as if Ian had left a permanent expression on me and that I’m just looking for someone to make me feel that happiness again… I hope he’s wrong. Seth: When you love someone… you want to spend all of your time with them. And that’s how I felt. Seth: I know, Kawaii…. Are you sad? Of course not. :3 -Kawaii Seth<3

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