Tuesday, June 27, 2006

It was a dream... right?

Time: Song: Wings of a Butterfly (Song featured at end of post.) By: HIM Mood: Thoughtfull, negative. (NOT a good combination for SOME people.) Heaven ablaze in our eyes We're standing still in time The blood on our hands is the wine We offer as sacrifice [Chorus] Come on, and show them your love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul, my love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul This endless mercy mile We're crawling side by side With hell freezing over in our eyes Gods kneel before our crime [Chorus] Come on lets show, them your love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul, my love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) Don’t let go (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) For your soul [Chorus] Come on, and show them your love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul, my love Rip out the wings of a butterfly For your soul (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) Don’t let go (Rip out the wings of a butterfly) [x2] For your soul -------- I had a strange dream last night and I'm going to try to explain it to all of you in details that you will hopefully understand. If you don't understand... I apologize in advanced. I stood in my bathroom gazing at the mirror before me with a calm expression on my face, but something kept disrupting my calm stature. Sometimes... a flash of color change would affect the picture of me standing before the mirror. Insteas of me being in color, I was in black and white, but the color of blood was splattered haphazardly all over my body and face. In the black and white picture, I had a look of terror in my eyes and my hair was all messed up. The only colors that were detected other than black and white was the distinct color of blood and my eyes were a lime green color with a smoldering crimson in the middle. I had my right hand poised in my hair, gripping tightly while the other gripped onto the counter. The colored picture of me had both hands on the counter and I gazed calmly into the mirror. These two pictures would flash every now and then with increasing flashing speed as the sound of my dearest friends chit-chatting in non-coherant voices that were barely whispered. I couldn't make out the discussion, but they were talking about something shattering. The pictures of me flashed back and forth before it was just the black and white. I was breathing heavily by this time... blood was dripping out of my mouth and into the sink. Suddenly, a shadowy darkness began to ride up my body and swirled around me like a deadly mist. As it swirled about me, jagged black marks began to show on my skin and I slammed my right hand onto the counter. Then all of the talking stopped and together, all of my closest friends said, "Changed..." And then I heard a shattering noise and I began to scream, falling to my knees as I grabbed my head. Strange, hm? It was so horrible that I could hardly sleep last night, thus making my first day of Driver's Ed even more horrid for me than I'd wanted to make it in the first place. I really wish I knew what it all meant... Seth: ... Kawaii... Hm? Seth: Nothing... goodnight. *Hugs and walks away.* -------- I think I should give myself a good time to relapse from what I've become and just think about my life and my friends. It's come to my attention that no matter how hard I try to keep all of my friends together... we will stil drift apart anyhow. There are a few people that, as much as I hate to admit, I feel are drifting away from me and are beginning to lose everything I've tried to teach them about me being their friend... I think I should just... I dunno... give it a break for those people and just stay out of their lives for a while. At least until school starts or something... I'll call it my little experiment. Now, just because I'll be avoiding some of you doesn't mean I'll be avoiding ALL of you. There are some of you that I feel are just too good to let go... ever... but there are a few meandering hearts in our group that I just don't feel like confronting. I'll let them handle the situation and jump right back in late August or when I absolutely have to see them. Don't take this personally or anything... just take it as something of a break and see how well these people can function without me in their lives, (Hell, they've gotten this far... why not continue on and see how far?) and we'll still be on friendly terms... you just won't be seeing me anytime soon. Breaks are considered good things... And if you didn't want this "break"... then you shouldn't have been so indecisive with me in the first place. Being a fucking indecisive person just pisses me off... and people don't like me when I'm pissed. *Rant over.* -------- On a side note... I think I'm falling in love... ... but that's not a good thing; considering whom the person is... I had a long talk with them earlier, but I just couldn't find the right words... ... love is a bitch and seems to target close friends. Dating close friends is like playing with fire, after all... you can either tame it really well or get your ass burnt in the process. -------- -Kawaii Seth<3

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