myOtaku.com: kaye16

myO Still <3's You

myOtaku.com: kaye16

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

I can't believe they don't have a smiley for crying
Here's my new favoritd quote my friend Matt said-"Even though I'm the sacrifice, you won't try for me, no, no. Though I'd die to know you love me, I'm all alone. Isn't someone missing me?" Now that make me think. I don't like to think think cause then it brings back alot of bad memories. Now though I guess I should face them. Cause I have to choices either quit life all together or soon quit school and start my life get my GED and take the low road so I can get through life with out all the big responsibilities cause honestly I can't do it, not alone with no one by my side. And these friends I have here they pity me cause I was alone for a while they all have said it without using words. And life ain't going to get much better then this, and sadly enough I believe that.
"You taught me right, you taught me wrong. You told me to always be strong. You paved the way, you showed me fear. I now know what was unclear. I saw one thing, yet heard another. I was too young to understand. I never knew what ti believe. I feel so deceived. Confusion in my head. Don't understand all that you said. Yet now I see the light. It's times like these I realize. But, how can I with these mixed messages you did bring? And forgive all the pain you caused, all of the suffering. Keep my persective straight. Keep me away from hate. Keep my eyes so bright, uncovered. Oh please, won't you guide me towards the light? Conflict, confusion, distrust..."
This is how I feel and have felt for so long cause honestly I can't find anyone that truely would be able to help me be one hundred percent honest with me about everything. And if theres a God I pray that things will get easier cause I fear I'm truely not going to make it. Cause I'm falling down a deep depression that I can't escape tried so many time but lost site of the good cause now there is so little good around me all I can see is the pain and suffering. I try and take the burdens away from my friends and family then they turn around and stab me in the back. People hate me they think I'm a freak. I am a freak. I'm not pretty, I'm not smart, I have no real future at all. All I have are my memories of times when I was happy, but now I can't stop crying cause I lost what made me happy. I lost who I really am. And it kills me to think about the past cause there are so many things that mess with my mind from back then that made me this way. Then I push people away and I don't mean to, yet I still always and will always do just that. I've tried to change my ways but its so impossible to do cause I'm so used to this way of life. maybe I'm just overreating to whats being said about me by others, maybe I really am depressed, maybe I'm just messed up in the head, but no matter what the reason is I'm still not happy with this life. I've looked at the life of others who died and suffered and I wish that they didn't have to go through all that, but people still see me as a person who doesn't care about others though I try and help out as much as I can with anyones life cause I don't want them going down the same road I am. Well I'm going to go find something that can hopefully cheer me up. byes again.
*Katie a.k.a. Nadine*"Maybe my heart told your heart it had a parking place outside. Or that we both like taking walks, and doing things at night. Maybe our hearts have the same favorite colors, and found each other that way. Or maybe it was because they both like sunshine the best, and always tell the summer to stay. Maybe your heart sent my heart a secret message that said: I've been waiting for you. Let's go. LOVE. Or, maybe when it comes to things like this, there aren't reasons.
Hearts just know."
Comments (0)

« Home

Anime | How to Draw Anime | Anime Wallpapers

Top of Page