myOtaku.com: kaye16

myO Still <3's You

myOtaku.com: kaye16

Thursday, September 22, 2005

Stunned
Ok well after yesterdays breakdown I'm kinda on the weird side, specially since now I'm back on prozac, and I'm back with Jacob though I don't know why. Last day of ISTEP was today, and Jeremy promises that he doesn't care I'm back with Jacob so right now I have two boyfriends go me. And Jeremys got his permit and soon will have his license and he says when he gets it everyweekend hes coming up here bringing me down there then bringing me back so I get to see all my cool friends. Jacobs like ok whatever as long as you're still my girl and its like you call me that and I'll change my mind. He tries to be romantic but he hasn't done that since the first day I met him. Oh yeah and Saturday going to burnts harbor for another JUNGLE PUNK CONCERT! WHORAW. Well anyways I do believe I'm over dropping out cause Sergeant Feilds gave me a pep talk today and I cried my eyes out, but still he helped me set a goal for the next five years and I'm going to stick it out no matter how much work it takes to get there. As long as I stick to the proper douce of medication I should even be stable for the next couple years ^_^ which means I'm also going to start back up on my Zoloft, and have to take pain medication. So I'm also going to get a tutor work out for two hours each day study for three I'm getting a job permit so I can actually keep a job. And I know this is going to sound dorky, but I'm going to find the perfect guy to be with so one day I mite marry him. Cause I need to settle down with someone before it gets to late. And I think I know just the guy, but only thing is I have no way to get in contanct with him at this time, but I'm going to find him, cause I fell in love with him from day one. Its been two years a few months and a few days since I last saw him, but I remember his face so well I remember everything me and him did everything me and him talked about, but the only reason why we didn't hook up was because the people on my chess team didn't want to see me happy they kept trying to spilt me and him apart so we couldn't be together. I remember Philip Vanderheyden got so made at me cause I used to have a crush on him, but when he saw how much more I like Derek then him he flipped out and thats why all the guys tried to keep me from him. Because I like someone too much and he wasn't from my school it wasn't them and because they knew he was a better person and the fact that he liked me got them even more mad. So someday I no matter what will meet him again cause I know he would be one of the greatest guys to be with. So even if I just find him and be his friend that would be enough for me. Cause that day I can remember more then just about anyother January 19 Michigan City Indiana chess Tournament me and him had to ride on the same bus he was from Clark middle I was from Scott Middle. The two rival schools just couldn't see me and him together for whatever reason. But now they have no reason to care. I'm just blabbering on aren't I. I tend to do that sometimes I guess, but I can't help it. When I have something to say I say it when its the right time even if no one cares, cause thats what you have to do, maybe its just the pills or I'm just finally confronting my problems and am willing to say just about anything. Oh well whatever the reason is I'll find out sooner or later. Oh yeah and why don't you guys ever pm me to let me know how you guys are I wanna know whats going on in your lives. So PM me asap. I'm gonna go get ready for school tomorrow so byes.
*katie*
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