Wednesday, November 7, 2007

   I sed HEY, wut's goin on (ya'll remember that song?)
i would've posted earlier, but one of my frends emailed me, and i haven't talked to her in like forevers, so i had to write back. ok yeah well, snickers candy bars are like so delicious. i ate an entire king-size one yesterday (i didn't eat a single thing after that till this morning), and right now i'm eating a reg. sized one.

yep. my sister went back to work yesterday! hooray! that means i can run home and not hear jack sh-- from anybody! oh oh and i forgot to mention that the bill passed and we (the educational folk in TX) get a raise! which is totally excellent, since i could definitely use it. i want to re-dye the ends of my hair blue again, like they were a few months ago. but then i got tired of getting everything blue. even if my hair was dry, my white or light colored clothes would be tinged with blue. but it looked totally awesome, yo! i might just do it anyways. wut do you think?

Joke of the Day
Q: What do you call a laughing motorcycle?
A: A Yamahahaha
Comments (3) | Permalink

Tuesday, November 6, 2007

howdy! it's pretty windy today. otherwise, it'd be nice outside. anyhoo, i just realized my birthday is this month. it's exactly one week after Thanksgiving. i'm gettin old, and don't really know where i wanna go in life. i keep hearing it from my folks at home, and that just makes me feel worse and i don't know. oh well for now. no, i'm not procrastinating. yet

don't wanna feel depressed, so i'm gonna go take a break and think happy thoughts so i can fly! oh wait, this ain't peter pan! why didn't you tell me?!? lol i'd still like to fly, tho. actually, if i could do anything supernaturally, screw flying, and screw the power to talk to animals and forget the power of fire (matches, lighters, i pretty much got that down.) if i could pick one totally amazing power, it'd be Goku's Instant Transmission. now that's awsome. hell yeah man, jack stuff from Wal-Mart (of all places) and not get caught! what power or amazing ability would you like to possess and why?

Joke of the Day

A butcher saw a Lawyer passing by his shop one day, and asked him: Atty., what would you do if a dog came in and stole your meat? Lawyer replied: why? of course, I’ll make the owner pay for it! The butcher said: If that is so, now you owe me $15 because it is your dog. The Lawyer replied: very well, just deduct the $15 from the $25 you owe me for the advice, I’ll collect the remaining $10 the next time I pass by here.

and lawyers say they aren't crooks. pfft
Comments (3) | Permalink

Monday, November 5, 2007

   *sing-song voice* monday monday monday!*sing-song voice ends*

lol. i'm sleepy! this hour change ain't gettin' along with my sleep schedule. :-( but it'll get better. i feel hyper. if i wasn't at work, i'd be bouncing off da walls! hahahahahahahahahaha (think peter griffin laugh)

ok yeah well. i didn't do anything this weekend. except sleep eat and watch tv. it was awesome yo. i plan to do the same tomorrow. the only difference is that i have to work tomorrow. i'm reading stephen King's Christine right now. well, not right now right now, but i'm reading it at home. it's pretty good. most of his stuff is. yeah, ok. well i need to check out other places, so i'll c ya'll laters!

Two One-Liner Jokes for Today

I like your approach… let’s see your departure.

I'm not 50 yrs old. I'm 18 with 32 yrs of experience
Comments (3) | Permalink

Friday, November 2, 2007

   wut it do yo! watchall been up to? i'm bored at work. my coworker was just looking up bridal stuff, which got me thinking on how i want my wedding, but then i remembered that i would also need a groom, which i don't have. but i can plan everything first, right?

anyhoo, i don't feel like typing anything else, so i'll leave you with this:

The strong steal from the weak, but the smart steal from the strong

Joke of the Day

A cop was on his horse waiting to cross the street when a little girl on her new shiny bike stopped beside him. 'Nice bike,' the cop said. 'Did Santa bring it to you?' 'Yep,' the little girl said, 'he sure did! 'The cop looked the bike over and handed the girl a $5 ticket for a safety violation. The cop said, 'Next year tell Santa to put a reflector light on the back of it.' The young girl looked up at the cop and said, 'Nice horse you've got there sir. Did Santa bring it to you?' 'Yes, he sure did,' chuckled the cop. The little girl looked up at the cop and said,'Next year tell Santa the dick goes underneath the horse, not on top.'
Comments (3) | Permalink

Thursday, November 1, 2007

yes, that for really happened to my sister and her family on their way back from Mexico. i have no idea who did the whispering, i don't think they did either. but does it really matter?

i've got plenty of stories from when we first moved into our current location. i'll post one or two later when i have more time

i've got about a half hour now, so i'll make the most of it.

a few weeks after we moved from houston into our new home, i woke up around two in the morning (why is it morning if it's still pitch black outside?) i lay in bed for a few minutes, and then heard what was either chains or keys rattling in the woods behind the house, which my room faces. i kept still and listened again to see if it would happen once more. it did, but not after that. i told my family bout it, but i don't think they really believed it. so i dismissed, and forgot about it. a couple months later, my sister and my bro slept in the living room. she woke up and soon after heard what i did. but we never heard it after that. that was during the summer. after skool started, one of my new frends told a story. he and two other frends (julian and chris) were walking thru the woods one night, and one (julian) had gone up ahead of the other two. chris and stephen (the one telling the story) got the idea to scare julian. so they started sneaking up on him. they were about to scare julian when they heard the rattling noise. they ended up being the ones scared instead of them scaring julian. they took off, caught up with julian, and ran to his house. in case you're wondering, julian lives down the road from my house. they were crossing the woods on our land before we moved there. not only that, i had never mentioned that to stephen, julian or chris, until stephen told that story. the guys that live on the corner have heard it too, and not just them, but their mom as well. we ain't got no clue what made that noise or why, but i don't really wanna know.

well that's today's story. i might put up another one tomorrow. here's this tho:

A couple walking in the park noticed a young man and woman sitting on a bench, passionately kissing.
"Why don't you do that?" said the wife.
"Honey," replied her husband, "I don't even know that woman!"
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 31, 2007

   howdy, ya'll! wut's goin on this day of october 31st 2007? HALLOWEEN! the world's (america at least) excuse to dress up ridiculously (if u haven't already) and beg for candy (like 2 yr olds)! it's great isn't it? i haven't gone in years, and i'm too old (by LS's standards) to go now, so i'll just have to have a kid of my own and in a few years use them as an excuse to trick or treat.

i did want to dress up, but i just didn't do anything bout it. two of the office workers were M&M's. yellow and blue. the yellow one sed that the costume shop still had the green one. if i had known that, i would've gotten it. oh well now.

i've got church class to teach tonight. i wonder how many of the kids are actually gonna show up? the teacher next door and i are gonna unite (against evil! oops. just revealed the plan) the classes and have "refreshments", not a party or anything, merely "refreshments".

we took the class over to the nursing home across the street. on the way back, a little girl told me that it was scary. yes, honey. i believe that. i'm almost 22, and it was pretty scary so just imagine being a four yr old in a nursing home. it's scary, believe it!

i might stop at eilenberger's on the way home. i do want brownies. we've got fudge at home. all that's left is the ice cream . . .

Halloween Story

There's about 3 cars involved, all three have about 6 people, and they are all family coming back from a trip at night.

Ok. well they're driving back, and all of a sudden the first car swerves slightly off the road and then pulls over. The driver gets out, and starts lookin' up and down the road. the other two vehicles stop and ask the first driver what's goin on? all three are brothers. i saw someone in the road, and i tried miss them, but i still hit them. but i don't see them anymore. it was a woman.

well they look but don't see anything, and they're all kinda spooked out by now cuz everybody in the first car saw the woman and felt the impact. they go on their way, and then a white owl starts tapping at the middle car. lore claims that a white owl is a witch in disguise. pretty soon after, five more join the first one. now there's one owl for each person, and the owls are now screeching and tapping the hood, windows, everywhere. looking to the front, they see that there are white owls at the first car. looking back, the owls are also at the third car. every person in each car start to pray. the owls give a screech and start flying away.

now they're driving along, every living being in all 3 cars silent. but the whispering can be heard

BTW, they were coming back from mexico several years ago. my sister's daddy was the first driver.
Comments (3) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 30, 2007

   i tried to post yesterday, but the internet at work wasn't workin. i had already typed up the post and everything, but when i clicked the "add Post" button, the screen sed "page unavailable". that sucked. i'll try to remember what the post sed.

*ahem*

"i just noticed that i didn't post on friday! oh well. *can't remember the rest of this paragraph*

my hands and fingers hurt from typing. i had to retype the entire monday letter in spanish. so i'll c ya guys later!

Joke of the day (yesterday's)

what did 2 say to 3 about the unruly 6
'don't worry bout him. he's just the product of our times.'"

those were the highlights of yesterday's post. some great highlights, huh?

yep well. i wanna go home. not really. my sister's still at home. i'll wait till next week to go home. lol. like i won't go home this afternoon.

Joke of the Day (today's)
A football coach walked into the locker room before a big game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we really need you in there. So, what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, so the coach looked into his eyes intently and asked, - "Okay, now concentrate hard and tell me the answer to this: What is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then answered, "4?"
"Did you say 4?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he had given the right answer.

Suddenly, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
Comments (2) | Permalink

Thursday, October 25, 2007

haha. yesterday's joke was pretty funny, wasn't it? i just reread it.

i'll be lazy again and not do a real post.

Joke of the Day
The manager of a large office noticed a new man one day and told him to come into his office. "What is your name?" was the first thing the manager asked the new guy.
"John," the new guy replied.
The manager scowled, "Look, I don't know what kind of a namby-pamby place you worked at before, but I don't call anyone by his first name. It breeds familiarity and that leads to a breakdown in authority. I refer to my employees by their last name only - Smith, Jones, Baker - that's all. I am to be referred to only as Mr. Robertson. Now that we got that straight, what is your last name?"
The new guy sighed and said, "Darling. My name is John Darling."
"Okay, John, the next thing I want to tell you is..."
Comments (2) | Permalink

Wednesday, October 24, 2007

it's hump day! not that kind, idiots. get your minds out da gutters! i mean it's wednesday, the middle of the week.

anyways, i don't really feel like a real post, so i'll leave ya'll this:

Joke of the Day
While sports fishing off the Florida coast, a tourist capsized his boat. He could swim, but his fear of alligators kept him clinging to the overturned craft. Spotting an old beachcomber standing on the shore, the tourist shouted, "Are there any gators around here?"
"Naw," the man hollered back, "they ain't been around for years!"
Feeling safe, the tourist started swimming leisurely toward the shore.
About halfway there he asked the guy, "How'd you get rid of the gators?"
"We didn't do nothing,'" the beachcomber said.
"Wow," said the tourist.
The beachcomber added, "The sharks got 'em."
Comments (3) | Permalink

Tuesday, October 23, 2007

it's tuesday!

this is not a joke. this for really happened this morning. we go outside, and not even 3 minutes later, a kid comes up to me and tells me in Spanish, "there's horsepoo on the slide" we brush it off and tell him to go play. another kid comes up and says "luis sed there's caca on the slide". we tell him "don't say that" he says "well they call it caca, but it looked like poop to me". well, we finally take a look in the tubular slide. sure enough about in the middle of the slide, there's a huge turd. we were like O.o we send one of them for the janitor. the janitor comes to look, and he says "it's only dirt and mud" (it rained yesterday, 'member?) we're like "no look further up" he does and o.O he says "well, now i've seen it all" he cleans it out, and once again, that sucker was hurje. he throws into the nearby woods. yep. that's todays story.
wonder wat'll happen tomorrow.

well here's something else to make ya laff:

Joke of the Day
A new miracle doctor was in town. He could cure anything and anybody, and everyone was amazed. Everyone except for Mr. Smith, the town’s grouch So Mr. Smith went to this 'miracle doctor' to prove that he wasn't anybody special. So he goes and tells the doctor, "Hey, doc, I have lost my sense of taste. I can't taste nothing', so what are you going to do?"
The doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little, then tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43."
Jar number 43? Mr. Smith wonders. So the doctor brings the jar and tells Mr. Smith to taste it. He tastes it and immediately spits it out, "This is gross!" he yells.
"I just restored your sense of taste Mr. Smith," says the doctor.
So Mr. Smith goes home very mad. One month later, Mr. Smith goes back to the doctor along with a new problem, "Doc," he starts, "I can't remember!"
Thinking he got the doctor, the doctor scratches his head and mumbles to himself a little and tells Mr. Smith, "What you need is jar number 43..."
Before the doctor finished his sentence, Mr. Smith fled the office.
Comments (3) | Permalink