Saturday, October 20, 2007

   wheeeee
I have nothing. I have no one. I am not in control, and I am weak.

current mood: Cold
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   Grrr
Okay. So I have to say, I really like the Sasuke/Naruto pairing. BUT WHAT IS UP WITH ALL THE SASUNARU ON THE INTERNETS?! If there's one thing that reeaaaally bothers me, it's OOC-ness. KEEP THE CHARACTERS. IN. CHARACTER. OR THEY ARE NOT THE SAME FREAKING CHARACTERS. It's not that hard. Naruto is not some girly, pretty, shy little boy. Sasuke is not a pushy, horny Naruto-rapist. YUCkckckcckckck. And BUTT SEX IS GROSS. Why do people not realize this?!

SOMEDAY, when I learn to draw better, I will draw SUPER DOUJINSHI that has SASUNARU, with both characters IN CHARACTER (as far as I would be able to make them, at least!), NICE AND CLEAN WITH NO BUTTSEX. But first, I would have to learn how to write a story with some sort of plot... durr... *_*

AND WTF IS WITH THE HINATA/NEJI KAKASHI/SASUKE PAIRINGS?! It's like, if the pairing isn't completely deviant and gross and pervy, it isn't HAWT enough for the stupid Naruto fangirls out there.

I mean the ones that aren't me.


[EDIT]

Why I say the sasunaru pairing is canon

Okay, so Sasuke and Naruto do not get it on in the series. Why would I say the pairing is canon?

In the manga, Sasuke and Naruto have a relationship considered to be a rivalry/friendship. Between Sasuke and Naruto, there is tension. There is emotion. There is passion. There is affection. (It's all right there, it's not my imagination!) And there is love. It might not be love like how Naruto has a crush on Sakura, or Sakura on Sasuke, but that doesn't make it any less romantic. And romance tends to catch young girls' imaginations, with which many girls run wild.

Hence, all the sasunaru fangirls. *rawk*


(Regrets all thoughts............. done)
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   0_o
I feel as though I should step into the void
That I fall; that I forget

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   . . .
I am failing at everything. Every aspect of my life is crashing to failure.

This is what I recognize: I have everything I could want. I am blessed. This is not a time for failing.

This is what I recognize: I am responsible for my failures. And I have been irresponsible. I am the cause of my failures. I am at fault.

Oh, I know. It's wonderful. Another bout of teenage angst? One last round? One of many last rounds? It seems endless enough.



Here's some cheerful advice: It's not as bad as it seems! It'll all turn out okay in the end! Stay strong! Work harder, dumbass! Blah blah blah blah



I have everything. I have lots of clothes and plenty of food. I live in a decent house in a safe place. I sleep in a soft bed and my room is warm. I have a computer. I have internet access. I go to a good school. I'm doing okay. I got into college. I am marginally healthy. I have nice friends who care about me. My family loves me. All my family members are alive. Life is peaceful. Endless opportunities and resources of all sorts are open to me. Everything is awesome. The future is promising.

I know this. I know this all the time. But it feels like everything is crashing down anyway.

Academic failure. Social failure. Emotional failure. Physical failure. I am a disgusting human being and my life is disgusting. I am not disgusted with myself only because I love myself too much to see past myself. Everything is about myself. I am pathetic, weak, lazy, and arrogant. In my mind, the only self-evaluations that I can even come up with are blithely self-aggrandizing. That barely even makes sense. Nothing makes much sense anymore.




Any of these choices would seem like the cure.
a) Sleeping it off.
b) Lying on the grass and watching the clouds pass, thinking about nothing.
c) Distracting myself with television/internet/books/etc.
d) Death.
e) Running away.

The problem with all of these is that they are futile escapes. Some of them are impractical or impossible. All are selfish and irresponsible. None would solve anything. How can I solve anything? Lawl.

current mood: unrepentant

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   Boinkboinkboinkboink
Saturday I did absolutely nothing and it drove me crazy. I am crazy now. I tried sleeping but it was too cold and my hands were freezing and kept me awake. I couldn't get to badminton practice because I suck at biking and I'd probably run into a car and die and I couldn't find a ride and no one was at home. I hate being crazy and bored and in retrospect homework would have been prudent but really now, homework wasn't a very realistic option considering that I've never done homework on Saturday... ever. I've done nothing. Nothing. Boredom. I have no friends. I'm so frickin ugly wtf. I'm going insane. Help help help

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   LOL
Who knew that I could do all of this??? I have so many accounts and sites, on sites, it's not even funny.
Anyways, hello (To the people who care to read this.) I am Kaze-Hoshi! (YAY!) I like my name and I would like you. I mean, if you would talk to me... **waves** I'm kind of new, but don't mind me. **sigh**
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