Thursday, November 9, 2006

More Drama
Yeah. that's right It's another fun as hell drama bitching journal from me. Whoopty fucking doo.

Sick. That's how I feel emotionally and physically. Truly sick. Nausous, sore and torn.

I guess for those of you that read my bitching journals or any of my updates here, I should tell you all why I feel this way.

Yesterday started out like a pretty normal day. I got up, felt like shit becuase i'm still sick from this goddamn Viral bronchitus, I didn't move much in my sleep so i'm stiff and sore all over. I made a dentist apointment for Melisa for monday. The dentist called back said that someone canceled so we got her in today. The doctor fixed her tooth I nearly lost my hands because she's terrified of the dentist's but she has everyright to.

Drove her home got dinner at Arby's just chilling at home coloring a new fan art picture of my Sailor Moon Character in her school uniform, (It's in my gallery here btw) and I'm chatting with some people when a friend that moved to Arizona IM's me and asks how I'm doing. We chat for a short while and I ask him if he knows how to get a hold of Steven, now for those of you don't know who Steven is he is my EX-Boyfriend. He gives me the number to call because I found a few of his things while I was cleaning my old room at my dad's house. (Just a memory card and some Rurouni Kenshin DVD's) so I ask the guy i'm talking to for Steven's number I call and tell him that I have these and what he wanted me to do with them. He says he'll come and get them. So I'm like ok. Melisa ask me if I'm ok with it. And I tell her yes "If I can't face him now, then I'll never be able to face him." Lame I know but it's true.

So anyways, while on the phone we decided to hang out for a bit. Just an hour or so you know. We do. I had fun. We get home. And Danielle and Melisa start talking to me about things they noticed about him that I was too naive to fucking notice. So I'm pissed at myself right now. I started crying because I was pissed about it. About how I was too Naive to notice it. And they say it's ok that I don't have the experiance to notice little changes in people. Melisa thought he was going to poke me or do something to scare me. I told her that everyone does that to me because I scare easy. So I'm crying not saying anything just listening to Danielle and Melisa talk to me and I just want to say that because of what they said I feel like I can't go out and have fun with anyone anymore because i'm to fucking stupid and naive to notice that I could be in danger. But I didn't so I said here, because I'm a fucking coward.
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