Tuesday, April 3, 2012

No one is left.
I guess that makes this the perfect sanctuary, right? Life has been hell, college this semester has kept me swamped, and my days have been filled with chores to the point I have no free time... My phone is fried and the replacement isn't in the best condition either, I cant even really use it, so I'd rather not use it at all... I'm growing cold to the world, its as if my life has slowed to the point that I can feel my death creeping up on me, and its surfacing hundreds of false regrets, that I haven't even experienced yet. But are inspiring me to live a life that isnt meant for me. These thoughts and feelings consume me, and I'm rarely this conscious of their true nature, but they still consume me.

I don't know. For awhile, I genuinely thought I could be like everyone else for once. I thought I could be happy and positive, and that that would be my answer for everything. Life will continue and days will pass and I will be taken where I'm meant to go... Just like everyone else... Thats not true to me at all..

I don't want to keep acting and lying the rest of my life.

I think I was close, but never really close at all. I don't think I'll ever find that bliss again, if my emotions continue to haunt me in this way... .
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Sunday, April 13, 2008

...
Im still here...
I think Adam ditched the whole myO though... he hasnt updated in an even longer time than I AND nothing has really changed...

I dont know what there is to do here anymore except watch the blue bars go on and off for the 3 peope who still post...


I might be changing the background and some stuff eventually but Im not sure



Anyways... I suppose thats it... ttyl...
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Wednesday, March 5, 2008

VV
Well it looks like VV is here...
Something just tells me that after a week maybe this whole myo thing will get neglected and everyone will quit...
Just a hunch...

There have been an incredible amount of bugs in the backroom and the comment box like adam said, doesnt look to good...


I'm sure it'l get fixed but before the whole vv launch thing started the site was so fluent and now it just seems like a dead end in the backroom because I cant do anything... half the side bar is gone, I cant pm anyone, and I have to type in a whole nother URL to get to theO...

That and apparently new people cant join the myo anymore and have to join in spaces or Worlds or what ever the new thing is on VV...


I hope this doesnt die though... from the quick look I got at the new O, if this had to be shut down I know it would be extremely hard to find my friends on it since it doesnt have a friends list in the backroom like here...


In lighter news... I got .hack//G.U.+ 2 weeks ago... Its really good but missed a bunch of the story =\... I also got a new graphics card for my gaming comp which will hopefull help it but I still gotta take my old one out and discharge it ( i guess ) And put in the new one and install... I dont know exactly how to and I dont want to ruin it or my comp trying so I gotta wait til my cousin who helped make it with me gets time to walk me through it... The card was 144$ and I had to barrow 60 from my bro cuz I sorta went on a buying spree for awhile after I got GU+ ^^; buying abunch of videogames...

I gotta pay him back too... heh...

Anyways... ttyl
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Friday, February 29, 2008

Lurk
Umm... not much to report... Just posting to show you all I'm alive... Ive been around commenting, just too bored and lazy to post...

A mixture of good and has been going on but when I wait thins long to post I usually forget about most of it so I cant really say it now...

I got a little frustrated with my dad earlier but I'm over it now... Basicly we needed some replacement parts for some helicopter thing and he made me call 10 different stores (and some of them 2ce) so I could "practising communicating"... It frustrated me because he made me call again and again until I asked the people everything perfectly but the reason it took that long was because some of them couldn't understand what we said and I had to say stuff slowly for them while my dad rushed me to say it fast and grouped all in one WHILE I was still trying to talk to them (he was yelling) and I had it on speaker phone...
I really dont know if its just selective hearing or what but he is always yelling and just chooses not to hear me or understand both sides to a conversation making him think I dont talk and "mumble" just because I dont want to yell- and especially not on speaker phone to blow out their ear drums...

The other part of it was when Id ask for directions, they would tell me, and Id write em down, all normal, right? Well then my dad would tell me to wait so he could think for a second, and wait, and wait... Then finally came up with something else to ask them then blamed me at the end for waiting so long to ask them it which made him make me call another place...

Anyways, it was a long day...
But in the end I got to go over to a friends house for awhile and hang out and that helped alot so Im not so stressed about it anymore... Its just so annoying when he does this sort of thing, especially when he thinks its my problem when he chooses not to hear me or yells over my voice...

Sorry ^^; kinda hard to belive im really that over it when I complain that much about it ^^;
Anyways... hope you all are doing good... Ttyl


- and Happy day of Leaping
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Thursday, February 14, 2008

Happy Valentines Day
Not much to report today... Except the fact its the dreaded (for most people atleast) Valentines Day...

I myself dont really care much about this day but I dont hate it either... Its just another day so I treat it that way... But yeah, most of my day's are terrible sooo you can kinda see why I could care less...

Besides... A holiday where you still gotta go to school/work is hardly a holiday...
And one day a year that shows someone you love, how much you love them, doesnt make alot of sence because if you really love them than you should be showing them everyday >.<

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Monday, February 4, 2008

boo
im still alive... i havent posted in a while...

i finally caught back up to where i was in my game and finally finished it off 100% a few hours ago and had time to make my new bg and put it on here, if you can see it... Its not very good but its better than my old and thats all that matters right now...

Im going to try to have more positive post from now on but it might take awhile for some to come around... Anyways, ttyl...
Il post more later if i have time
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Monday, January 21, 2008

   first time using this smilie
*about to pull hair out and strangle my brother*
grrrrrr... Im going to kill my brother! Im so pissed off at him right now! I let him play Folklore for 5 minutes because I was doing something on the comp before I was about to start playing... 5 minues in, he saves his game and he saves over mine and I was 90% through it!! *slams head on desk*
Im going to make him get me back to that point but now that he knows I hate him right now he wont because he will try to avoid me =_=

He better be able to or else.... Some of the spotst are places I dont want to go to more than I have to =_=

grr!!! I wish I could snap his neck right now....
not to mention all the other things hes done to my stuff and my games and electronics... Yesterday he killed one of the spare comps I had just made by playing a stupid game and leaving the screen with it on all day and night while people were hacking in the same area =_= (yeah, it was maple story if that didnt give it away) so the motherboard caught on fire...

If it wasnt a spare I really would have killed him...



Thank god Im going to see "In the Name of the King" with a friend in a few minutes to help relieve the stress of haveing him ruin everything... Im just worrried now that he will do something to something else I /can still enjoy/...

Hopefully theres better news later once he gets me back to that spot =_=
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Monday, January 14, 2008

The famous speaker who no one had heard of said:
Ladies and Jellyspoons, hobos and tramps,
cross-eyed mosquitos and bow-legged ants,
I stand before you to sit behind you,
To tell you something I know nothing about,
Next Thursday, which is Good Friday,
There's a Mother's Day meeting for fathers only;
Wear your best clothes if you haven't any.
Please come if you can't; if you can, stay at home.
Admission is free, pay at the door;
pull up a chair and sit on the floor.
It makes no difference where you sit,
the man in the gallery's sure to spit.
The show is over, but before you go,
Let me tell you a story I don't really know.
One bright day in the middle of the night,
Two dead boys got up to fight.
(The blind man went to see fair play;
the mute man went to shout 'Hooray')
Back to back they faced each other,
drew their swords and shot each other.
A deaf policeman heard the noise,
and came and killed the two dead boys,
A paralysed donkey passing by,
Kicked the blind man in the eye;
knocked him through a nine inch wall,
into a dry ditch and drowned them all.
If you don't believe this lie is true,
ask the blind man;he saw it too,
throught a knothole in a wooden brick wall.
And the man with no legs walked away.

8D
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Thursday, January 10, 2008

Uhg... only 4 hours of sleep over 4 days... So much work...
Im behind in every class and Ive bee so busy lately, Im just now getting around to doing my other work...

5 essays due for english, 2 or 3 more for writing, who knows how many for science... atleast 2 benchmarks and 2 quick checksfor science... 3 portfolios due... Everything due tomorrow and then I have to study for finals since I havent had much time to even look at my books to learn what im doing...
the finals arent my main worry since I normally 'A' tests but still... so much work @_@

If im not dead after tomorrow, Il visit sites but right now, I not only dont have time, but Im so lifeless I probably wouldnt know how to reply...



The quotes I posted in the last post were all from cowboy bebop the movie... Apparently most of you havent seen that either so I cant really talk about it or why I posted them ><;


Im tempted to start posting the movies on here just so I can talk about them...



And lastly, for some who havent noticed, Ive been adding several more songs to my playlist so if you have time you could listen to some of them if you want... Im still trying to find a certain song though...

EDIT
--------------------------
EDIT

*collapses* Finally...
I was up til 4 last night trying to finish the rest of my work when I had to go check online for the rest of the directions to something I was working on and while I did that... I found more work I had to do =..=

I got 3 hours of sleep before I had to get up to finish everything that I didnt get a chance to study for my finals and I only had time to go over science a bit while I was in the car... I think I did ok on them seeing how I havnt really opened any of my books until now... There were several problems that they worded just to confuse me though =..= and the choices were pretty much the same on some of the multiple choice ones...
They would have something like this:

What is the cause of the Coriolis's force?
A) Earth's Sun
B) Earth's rotation
C) The wind and ocean currents
D) The magnetic poles


Really theyre all right, sort of... Earths rotation causes the effect, the sun heats the water and air so the warm water moves above the cold to make the currents and the wind moves the warm air to colder places which means all around the world, and the currents go to the poles where the bounce back into the equator which is the whole effect.
So that question didnt work too well... All answers worked...

Any ways... When I got back, I finished science and now all I have to do is get all my essays Ive done and put them in a portfolio and write a little about them for writing and get 3 work things I did for english and put those in a portfolio and write a bit about them too and then Im done...

But I still have to write 2 of the essays I have to put in that portfolio so it will take a lil bit longer ><



I found one of the songs I was looking for and I put in my playlist in the front... its the first song that plays but it needs a softer song in front of it that helps the transition alil better... You all probably could care less about the order but his song sorta needs something to start it out with and it actually does, so now im looking for it...
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Friday, January 4, 2008

"Is there an indelible line dividing sanity from insanity... Or do they change, one into the other at the slightest change of events?...
No one can draw a clear line between sane and insane. You move that line as you see fit for yourself. No one else can. You'll understand soon... that the one that's insane is this world."

"This world the butterflies are showing me... Is it a dream? Or is their world the real one and the world where I was, the dream? I don't know."





Are you living in the real world?


(Sorry, optimization killed the font)

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